Four horsemen…and a microwave

October 15th, 2013 · 25 comments

Rachel in California says the breakroom at her office hasn’t caused many problems in the past, but a recent wave of new hires has changed that. “The last time I opened the microwave it was stuffed with paper towels, the walls were slathered in orange goop, and it smelled like rotting horse flesh.” (In other words, like a frozen lasagna from Tesco?)

Is this a post-apocalyptic world where the blacks and whites of morality have blurred into a hazy grey and every man takes care of himself and only himself? No? Then CLEAN THE MICROWAVE AFTER YOU USE IT!

related: Someday, when society has all but crumbled around you…

FILED UNDER: California · cleaning · microwave · office


25 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Hyacinth

    Those dastardly New Hires! They are behind this!

    Oct 15, 2013 at 12:43 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Red Delicious

    At least this PAN is handwritten in a lovely font. You have to give the writer props for that.

    And for spelling post-apocalyptic correctly.

    Well done, imho.

    Oct 15, 2013 at 12:54 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   redheadwglasses

      And he/she spelled it “grey” rather than “gray.” bonus points.

      Oct 15, 2013 at 4:10 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Olivia

      I so want this person’s handwriting.

      Oct 15, 2013 at 5:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   TKD

      I love the lower case y, that curvy tail… just…ooo.

      Oct 16, 2013 at 6:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   The Elf

      The correct spelling of “grey/gray” isn’t a black or white issue.

      Oct 16, 2013 at 7:24 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   AlyInSebby

      I 42nd it!

      Oct 16, 2013 at 7:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Kelsey

      Teeeechnically (yes, I’m being “that guy”) it’s not a font since it’s handwritten. It would be correctly referred to as a script. ;)

      Oct 17, 2013 at 8:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   smileinyoursleep

    I feel very inspired to clean my microwave now..

    Oct 15, 2013 at 1:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Madrias

    Wait, that’s not supposed to be the natural state of the microwave? You’re not supposed to leave the exploded remains of your food in there? You’re –

    Ah, fuck it, I can’t be sarcastic today.

    Oct 15, 2013 at 1:16 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mullet

      Exploded Remains. Oh, wow. I will be wheeze-laughing about that all week. Thank you, Madrias, thank you…

      Nov 11, 2013 at 12:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Ace of Space

    The font is taking my life.

    Oct 15, 2013 at 1:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Belle

    I bet they didn’t clear any unused time off the microwave when they were finished either.

    Me? OCD? What makes you think that?

    Oct 15, 2013 at 1:24 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Katherine

      Ha! I thought I was the only person on the planet who worried about the unused time. Turns out, so does my co-worker who admitted it when I showed her this.

      Oct 15, 2013 at 2:58 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   AuntyBron

      I don’t “worry” about unused time. It’s just that if you don’t clear the unused time you can’t see the time. And clearly the wall clock and the one on the stove just aren’t enough. I need 3 verifiers, damn it!

      Oct 16, 2013 at 7:26 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Sir Puke

    “We are living in a SOCIETY!”

    George Costanza

    Oct 15, 2013 at 1:32 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   The Elf

    “Is this a post-apocalyptic world where the blacks and the whites of morality have blurred into a hazy grey and every man takes care of himself and only himself?”

    Yes.

    Oct 15, 2013 at 1:36 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   RCat

      Nope. It can never be a “post-apocalyptic” world because Apocalypse is still alive. (Unless he’s been “killed”, which only means that he’s being held back until he’s needed for a Marvel crisis crossover or a new X-Men storyline.)

      Oct 16, 2013 at 10:17 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   The Elf

      And even if Apocalypse is “dead”, I’m sure DC’s Apokolips will be alive and well. We’ll never see the end of all things, will we? It’s the only justification I have to my one boring pointless existence.

      Oct 16, 2013 at 9:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Quite Contrary

    Microwaves in breakrooms are, in fact, the end of civilization as we know it.

    Oct 15, 2013 at 3:31 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   kermit

      The admin person (or what poor sucker in charge of cleaning the damn thing) should take it away and then see how the rest of them like it.

      Oct 15, 2013 at 8:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Tard

    The fourth horse resonated at 2.45Ghz.

    Oct 15, 2013 at 4:06 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Raichu

    If the microwave really was in that awful state, the note-writer was being awfully nice. Hope they clean it up.

    Oct 15, 2013 at 4:52 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   H for Toy

    No, this is the post-apocalyptic world in which blacks and whites have blurred into a goopy orange.

    Oct 16, 2013 at 8:18 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   blueknight1st

    But if I clean the microwave after using it then my food will get cold.

    Oct 16, 2013 at 10:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up