Not cool, dudebro

November 7th, 2013 · 104 comments

The only think Derek — I’m sorry, “Dman” — had to say about this note was, “i live with some girls, and one is pretty funny.” Something tells that “funny ha ha” isn’t what comes to his roommates’ minds when mopping up Derek’s puddles of urine.

Derek, Peeing IN the toilet bowl is a non-negotiable part of having indoor plumbing; if you don't like aiming, go outside.

related: The Piddler on the Roof

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · most popular notes of 2013 · New York · piss · roommates


104 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Taunia

    HAHA… I love this girl. “Non-negotiable.” Could you please talk to my husband as well??

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:34 pm   rating: 64  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Katimomkat

      I’m conflicted as to whether I should like this comment or not. On the one hand, your comment is funny and it appears that many people can relate to the problem. On the other hand, I’m upset for you that you have to deal with your husband’s apparent inability to aim. (I did end up giving you a thumbs up as your sense of humor won me over.)
      =)

      Nov 10, 2013 at 12:33 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   teresasbell

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      Dec 5, 2013 at 7:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   callmefilmgeek

    I love how blase’ Derek seems to be about this. I don’t find this not passive-aggressive at all. Stop being a disgusting pig, DMan!

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:38 pm   rating: 75  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Raichu

      So you do find it passive-aggressive?

      Nov 7, 2013 at 3:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   redheadwglasses

      I find it down right assertive. Nothing wrnog with that!

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:16 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   redheadwglasses

    What filmgeek said. You’re a PIG, Derek. If you can’t get your pee 100% into the toilet bowl, sit down to pee.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:40 pm   rating: 62  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Daniel

      Or just use a couple sheets of toilet paper to wipe it up.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:37 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   lolsuz

    Sounds like Dman would be better dubbed Pman.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:41 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Mark E. DeSade

      More like DBag.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 3:23 pm   rating: 58  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   kermit

      Let’s compromise and go for PBag. A catheter is clearly what the dudebro is missing.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 8:58 pm   rating: 65  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   AuntyBron

      Catheter ain’t all he’s missing, Kermie.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 4:15 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   H for Toy

    And once again, I find myself recommending for adult men, what works for toddlers. Cheerios in the bowl and M&M’s as a prize for getting it right.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:49 pm   rating: 84  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   shwo! bang

      But that makes the Cheerios soggy and bitter!

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:05 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   redheadwglasses

      Silly shwo. That’s why you use honey nut cheerios.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:17 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   H for Toy

      You made me choke, red!

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:34 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Katimomkat

      @Toy – You made me laugh out loud

      @shwo and @red: Ewwwww!!! And also, hahaha

      Nov 10, 2013 at 12:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   vstorevigilante

    I used to think it odd of my boyfriend only standing up to pee at urinals in public washrooms… Now I’m quite grateful.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   ash

    With that kind of aim, I’m pretty sure he won’t be having kids lol

    Nov 7, 2013 at 2:57 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Belaani

    Ironic – the same guys who claim to be able to shoot like Matt Dillon on the shooting range can’t hit the damn toilet at 24″. Maybe mopping up his own piss a few times will convince him to pay attention.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 3:10 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would notice there was piss to be mopped up. I swear, some people just don’t *see* dirt.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 7:48 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   kermit

      Oh people definitely see dirt.

      Just try peeing and/or depositing dirt on his video game console, table or chair and watch how quickly they notice.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 9:04 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   lady

    This reminds me of the time my dad told my mom, sister, and me that we need to wash the bathmat because, “You know how sometimes you pee and a little gets out onto the floor?” and we were all like, “Uh…no.”

    Nov 7, 2013 at 3:10 pm   rating: 98  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Raichu

      lol! I hope he ended up washing the bath mat.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 3:15 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   redheadwglasses

      I’m guessing you don’t mean “bathmat” and rather, one of those awful rugs that sits in front of the toilet bowl/base and wraps around the sides.

      Just call ”em what they are. pee rugs.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 4:16 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   L

      …nobody else has a small bathroom, huh? Our bathmat is in front of the toilet by way of tiny room XD

      Nov 8, 2013 at 9:00 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   kermit

      I have a small bathroom and I don’t have a bathmat. I don’t see the point of having a mat in a bathroom. It’s a hot bed of bacteria and potential mould build-up, plus it’s just another thing you have to clean. Yeah, I know it’s cold if you step on the tile, but that’s why I wear flip-flops in there until I buy a place and install those magical heated tiles. (Those under-tile heating coils are amazing for keeping your feet warm, seriously).

      Nov 9, 2013 at 6:05 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   The Elf

      I put a little rectangular rug down in front of the shower exit so that when I step out of the shower or bath I don’t slip and bust my ass on the tile. The tile is cold – I can take that – but slipping is a little more than I want to risk. By way of being exceptionally small bathrooms, they are also in front of the toilet. What can you do?

      Nov 9, 2013 at 10:39 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   H for Toy

      Exactly what Elf said. Though, I love having a small bathroom. Less to clean.

      Nov 9, 2013 at 1:14 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   kermit

      I solved the slippage problem by sitting on the edge of the tub to dry my feet. Then I just swing around to the other side to step into my flip flops. It’s handy that I can reach the towel rack from the shower/bathtub because otherwise this wouldn’t work and I would need a bath mat.

      Nov 9, 2013 at 1:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   Redheadwglasses

      H for toy: I had a 12′ x 12′ bathroom at my old house. It was awesome.

      Until I gave the dog a bath and she shook.

      Then I had. 12′ x 12′ room to clean.

      Nov 11, 2013 at 12:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   H for Toy

      That’s why our dog never got baths in the house (after the first time). It is amazing how much and how far they can launch water!

      Nov 11, 2013 at 6:38 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Raichu

    I thought it was bad enough that some men pee on the edge of the bowl or the seat (I’ve had to clean up my brother’s before). Do they actually pee on the floor? I really can’t imagine aiming at something a food away is THAT hard. It must be laziness.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 3:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   makfan

      It isn’t the main stream but sometimes those last couple of drops have a mind of their own, no matter how carefully you aim. However a little tissue can fix that.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 3:31 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   LafinJack

    I thought it said ‘peeking’ at first and I was about to get mad at someone who didn’t inspect their leavings.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 3:26 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   kelly

    Team Sits-to-Pee. My husband does, and nothing infuriates him more than when our teen age sons sprinkle the seat.

    I’ve learned to look before I sit.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 3:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   LafinJack

      Hey now, ladies who float leave a mess too, it’s not just men.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:19 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Roto13

      If you want to really see which sex is more disgusting, get a job where you have to clean both men’s and women’s public bathrooms.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:38 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   H for Toy

      Men vs women’s bathroom debate is almost as good as indoor/outdoor cats. I look forward to the public restroom stories. They’re always a little like a train wreck.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 5:58 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Rory

      Roto13 – Are you implying you’ve had such a job? Please enlighten us as to which sex is grosser.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 6:26 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Rattus

      I haven’t had the pleasure of comparing public washrooms, but my first husband worked in a couple of different bars where he had to do the end of night clean up and he said that the women’s rooms were much, much worse than the men’s rooms. Given how much time women spend in your average bar washroom, gossiping, putting on makeup, gossiping, fussing with their clothes, gossiping, staring at themselves in the mirror, and gossiping compared with the male piss-and-run, I am not remotely surprised by the disparity.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 7:04 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   Tom

      I have. Womens’ rooms are grosser.

      You know those little boxes on the stall walls with a nice little bag inside just for you?

      Well about 50% of women don’t seem to give a shit about that, or the box, or the fact that you’ll then have to touch their lady rags later in order to clean it after they’ve jammed it in the box and smeared it everywhere. Every now and then they decide these boxes are actually for children’s diapers, too.

      And that’s just the beginning…

      Nov 7, 2013 at 8:02 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.7   NOOOOO!

      Agreed. I’ve had to clean both (at a popular restaurant in a tourist part of a tourist town). Women drop to on the floor, and worse, choose to hover over yep the toilet, making a mess everywhere. Maybe they wouldn’t have to hover so much if everyone else didn’t do the same thing…

      Nov 7, 2013 at 8:54 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.8   kermit

      Meh, both genders can be messy if you can find the right kind of trashy location.

      Women: crack pipe burns on the baby changing table, tights left hanging on the stall door

      Men: piss smell everywhere because the urinals were always clogged with mystery debris, shoes and pants in the garbage, broken beer bottle crammed all the way down in the toilet bowl.

      In other words, people are freaking disgusting, The cleanest bathrooms are the ones the animals “use” at the zoo. Now let us never speak of this again or I’m charging you all for my fancypants booze and chocolate.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 9:12 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.9   poopypants

      I used to be a janitor for a social services place. The women were by FAR messier. And the social workers were also more disgusting by far than the elderly and disabled people who needed the social workers.

      It was generally obnoxious and disgusting. Particularly in the women’s bathroom.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 9:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.10   redheadwglasses

      Female here. Worked fast food in HS, worked retail 10 years ago. Women are by far much worse in the bathroom than men.

      My dad worked for the phone company in a college town, so he was in frat houses/sororities, dorms, college apartments, etc. He said the women students were the worst. not just dirtier, but more stuff lying around everywhere.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 10:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.11   Jami

      I worked cleaning public beach restrooms. Except on holiday weekends women were always far more disgusting. Crapping on the floor next to the toilet, leaving toilet paper all over the floor, urine all over the seats, bloody pads stuck to the stall walls, etc.

      Men were only really bad when drunk. That’s when they’d take a dump in the urinals and even write graffiti with their feces.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 10:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.12   The Elf

      Tiny defense for the hoverers: They aren’t doing it at home. This note takes place at home.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 7:33 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.13   Snowflame

      I used to clean bathrooms at a cinema. The men’s were generally worse because the floor was often covered in uh, used kleenex. We didn’t even show those kind of films.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 1:14 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.14   Raichu

      Women and men are gross in different ways. Men are, in my experience, generally gross in a low, relatively constant baseline level of grossness. Women are generally not as gross but when they are gross, it’s REALLY GROSS. (There are exceptions, of course.)

      The thing is, hovering women (I sometimes hover) and standing men both get pee on things that are not the inside of the bowl sometimes, but the problem happens when you’re too lazy or unaware to just pick up a piece of toilet paper and wipe it off.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 2:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   deedee

    I caught my ex husband take a midnight leak, he had one arm on the wall, and the other on his hip, lights were off, and he was partially asleep. It explained so much to me. Sadly, my teenage son takes after his father. Get a grip guys. Literally. =)

    Nov 7, 2013 at 5:00 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Jami

      One of my brothers used to sleep walk as a kid. Mom once caught him trying to pee into the vegetable drawer in the fridge while asleep.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 11:01 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Ace of Space

      I had a friend whose husband peed in the dryer while sleep walking. We never let him live it down.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 10:55 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   H for Toy

      My uncle almost peed in several places while sleepwalking. Then he lost his leg in a motorcycle accident. The first time he got out of bed without his prosthetic leg was the last time he tried sleepwalking.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 11:50 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Lil'

      H, I cannot stop laughing!!!! I’m waiting for my boss to come out and ask me what the hell is going on with me.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 11:57 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   H for Toy

      That’s one of his favorite stories, Lil. One of his other favorites is, due to the missing limb, and the fact that he’s a good 5 inches shorter than his 4 brothers and one sister, he likes to tell everyone he’s a “foot” shorter than the rest of the family.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 8:18 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   L

      That is really funny but I feel HORRIBLE for laughing oh my gosh XD

      Nov 8, 2013 at 9:03 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   Pepsi

      That’s too funny! Hopefully they wash up! ^_^

      Nov 11, 2013 at 11:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Willard

    It is a dude’s right to pee in and around a toilet bowl. You chicks just need to hush up and clean up after your men.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 6:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Melissa

      I wrote this note, and he is NOT my man. Walking in the bathroom in the morning to pee and stepping in a puddle is the most vile thing. He’s almost 20 years old, and as an adult who has been peeing on his own for the better half of two decades, I think he can figure out how to aim or use a mop. He’s not stupid, hes just lazy.

      Nov 7, 2013 at 9:14 pm   rating: 77  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   guinevere

      Willard, dont worry, you’ll never have a woman around you to complain about the pee around your toilet. Piss on…

      Nov 7, 2013 at 9:17 pm   rating: 60  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   dom

      Willard, you disgusting pig.

      Man up and learn to aim, your dick is not that big or powerful and no-one wants anything to do with the stuff coming out of it

      Nov 8, 2013 at 7:25 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Raichu

      I’m going to assume Willard is either being really sarcastic or a troll. I’m actually kind of surprised people are answering him seriously.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 2:38 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   redheadwglasses

      I agree, Raichu.

      Nov 10, 2013 at 11:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Jami

      I think, sadly Raichu, it’s because we’ve all had a “Willard” in our lives who thinks women are suppose to be men’s slaves. I’ve even known some female “Willards” – who either think the former or think that men are to be slaves to women.

      And I don’t mean in a fun sex relationship where it’s all consensual way. I mean in the “This gender is inferior to mine and therefore they must serve me” way.

      Nov 10, 2013 at 4:34 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   The Elf

    Dman, please. It’s a penis, not a fire hose.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 7:45 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Connie

    Years ago I used to work in a Waffle House, third shift. One of my duties was cleaning the restrooms at about 4 in the morning. The ladies room was pretty straightforward; the men’s room? Well, first thing I did was just pour bleach on the floor around the toilet and watch it foam up like the wild waves of the sea…

    Nov 7, 2013 at 8:35 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Melissa

    Update: Derek has been pretty good about the not urinating on the floor since I wrote this note. I’m sure living with 6 girls isn’t easy, but at least we don’t pee on the floor.

    Nov 7, 2013 at 9:23 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   poopypants

      Ahem, are you single Melissa? No reason… I just want a woman who can keep it in the bowl…

      Nov 7, 2013 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   The Elf

      A PAN resolved a problem! This is a noteworthy day.

      Tonight, I will raise a glass to the noble PAN that actually worked.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 7:35 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   L

      You can always threaten to bleed on everything he loves, also.

      Nov 10, 2013 at 3:33 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Madrias

    No sympathy for D-Man. If Dad and I can manage to keep our piss in the bowl and the floor clean, he can, too. After all, a family of two guys with no gals keeps the bathroom clean.

    And yes, I keep that toilet so clean I’d not fear eating off of it if I had to. The dishes, on the other hand, well, we don’t speak of that.

    Nov 8, 2013 at 3:33 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   JoshuOrc

    Who cares which gender public restrooms are worse, this note is about a dude who wizzes on his own floor and then emails a website supplying evidence to tell the entire world about his utter failure to function in adult society.

    Really hope the commenter who said he won’t aim sufficiently to spawn is correct. There should be a Darwin award for taking yourself out of the gene pool through sheer reproductive incompetence as well as stupid deaths.

    Nov 8, 2013 at 4:40 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   kermit

      It matters because obviously there is some segment in out there in society who was raised thinking it’s okay to pee on the floor.

      Guys like this “don’t notice” because they were raised to think that this kind of behavior is okay. If his parents/guardians had raised hell the first time he did it at home, he wouldn’t have done it again (and again).

      Nov 8, 2013 at 5:26 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   JoshuOrc

      Well most people on this thread seem to be saying that women’s bathrooms are messier which is why i said who cares. I’ve never cleaned a women’s toilets however the women’s always seem to emanate a lot less stank than the men’s rooms. Though maybe the full stank is only revealed when one enters the chamber fully and that accounts for the difference in my perceived stank levels.

      I don’t think that women’s public bathrooms being messier would invalidate your point that some dudes are raised to think it’s okay to wizz on the floor of their own house and let people they live with clean it up.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 8:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   kermit

      At the risk of belaboring this to death, stank and messiness are two elements of a filthy bathroom. Men’s bathrooms stink more because of the urinals (which are usually not enclosed in stalls). To some people, a reeking bathroom is not messy, just stinky.

      Depending on your laziness and tolerance level, you can get away with making the men’s bathroom look clean by just dousing it in air freshener and flushing the urinals. You can’t do that in women’s bathrooms when there are tampons and toilet paper scattered about.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 8:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   Raichu

      To be fair, Josh, it sounds like he corrected his laziness.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 2:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.5   Jami

      I think it’s because any talk of bathrooms, public or otherwise, leads to “Who’s dirtier?” Heck, I bet we could talk about how wombats feces is square (it is wombats have the square poop, right?) and it would eventually come back to “Who’s messier in the bathroom? Men or women?”

      Nov 10, 2013 at 4:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Poltergeist

    You poor naive girl. Don’t you realize your suggestion will backfire once he realizes the front steps, your car door, and everything else in the world are technically “outside.”

    Nov 8, 2013 at 5:25 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Melissa

      I don’t have a car, my steps are his steps and we live in a dorm. If he pees on or around it, I’m not the only one who’s going to have a problem.

      Nov 8, 2013 at 9:45 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Karen

    Used to be janitor: both sexes equally messy. Kids the worse!

    My hubby steps outside all the time as we live in the country and I am glad of that, keeps bathroom so much cleaner.

    Nov 8, 2013 at 8:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Zhopka

    Where’s the “actually totally reasonable” tag on this one?

    Nov 8, 2013 at 9:40 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Varanus bang

    I normally get mad when my boyfriend pees on the rim under the toilet seat. I don’t think I’ll ever complain again.

    Now it can just be “Thanks for not peeing on the floor like a chihuahua!”

    Nov 8, 2013 at 2:08 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Raichu

      I honestly would not care if a dude peed on the rim as long as he didn’t expect me to clean it up. (Well, and if he put the seat down when he was done. I ordinarily don’t care about leaving the seat up/down, but piss on the rim is gross…)

      Nov 8, 2013 at 2:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   RCat

      Hmm, out of curiosity, is the tip of your tail pointed?

      Nov 8, 2013 at 4:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.3   Varanus bang

      He does leave it, and I’m the one who cleans the bathroom.

      His excuse is that the toilet is lower than he’s used to.

      Nov 10, 2013 at 2:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.4   Jami

      You could offer to correct that by chopping off his feet. Make sure you’re holding a cleaver or an ax at the time.

      Nov 10, 2013 at 5:12 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   AuntyBron

    I work in a hospital. I stepped into a restroom a while back and there was pee everywhere – on the seat, pooled behind the seat on the stool, on the floor. I nearly hurled. Before you ask yes, s/he got some into the bowl, too. I know that because s/he didn’t flush.

    Nov 8, 2013 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Ajax

    If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie. Simple as that.

    Nov 8, 2013 at 7:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Lythande

      That little poem will get you burnt at the stake around here.

      Nov 9, 2013 at 6:44 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   Jeanna

      In this case it would be:

      “If you miss
      when you piss
      it’s your chore
      to mop the floor”

      Nov 17, 2013 at 12:55 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   Tard

    “I never much minded the little things.”

    Nov 8, 2013 at 10:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   smirkette

    I remember our high school band teacher losing it once in between charts and ripping the guys a new one because they weren’t keeping it in the bowl of the band room’s unisex bathroom. There was a reason I never used that one…

    Nov 9, 2013 at 4:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   theo

    No sympathy for Derek (at all) but I think it’s worth a little clarification, to all the women who can’t understand the problem. Pee doesn’t necessarily always come out in a perfectly straight narrow jet, in exactly the direction you’re expecting. Especially if you have a foreskin, but that’s not the only factor. I mean – it doesn’t come out at 90° or anything, but it’s not as easy to get 100% of it in the middle of the bowl as you might think. And then there’s the risk of splashback if it’s a heavy flow. I’m sure there are very very few guys who would intentionally aim for the floor. It’s so much easier to just sit down at home. Less manly, but it’s not like anybody’s watching.

    Nov 11, 2013 at 5:18 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   Lab dude

      Thanks for clarifying that, theo.
      I will add, however, that I am afflicted with a medical condition that can cause random variations in the stream, including variability in angle and the spread of the stream itself.
      Also, for many of us, the last few dribbles and squirts can be highly variable as well.
      But I have also long since learned how to clean up after myself.
      Now if I could just get my wife to remember to flush every time…

      Nov 12, 2013 at 8:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.2   Tesselara

      If it’s yellow, let it mellow!

      Nov 12, 2013 at 1:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.3   L

      And that makes it impossible for you to clean up after yourself… how?

      Nov 13, 2013 at 3:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.4   theo

      I’m not saying that you shouldn’t clean up after yourself – that was why I was saying I had zero sympathy. But the women saying ‘how hard can it be to hit a target 1 or 2 feet away’ are missing the point. It’s not so much an aiming issue as a lack of common decency by cleaning up afterwards issue.

      Nov 14, 2013 at 5:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.5   Jodie

      “If it’s yellow, let it mellow!”

      ————

      Brown or yellow, flush it down, good fellow. :p

      Nov 14, 2013 at 11:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #28.6   Lilly

      If a guy has that much trouble keeping his stream straight then they should just sit down.

      Dec 12, 2013 at 4:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #29   H for Toy

    I know I’m usually snarky on here, but serious note… Happy Veterans Day and thank you to any and all of you who served, and to all those who held the fort at home while children, spouses, and parents served!

    Nov 11, 2013 at 8:17 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   Redheadwglasses

      Nice post! And good reminder. I posted a similar sentiment at my Washington post forum.

      Nov 11, 2013 at 11:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Lab dude

      H – On behalf of myself and all veterans, you are welcome; and thanks for mentioning it.
      It was my honor to serve; even at a time when we weren’t quite as ‘popular’…
      And remember, WE do it for YOU.

      Nov 12, 2013 at 8:09 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   H for Toy

      Thank you, personally, lab dude. I never served, but I will always do everything I can to ensure that those who do, continue to get the honor and respect they deserve.

      Nov 12, 2013 at 9:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     

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