Fish fingers and custard, then, yeah?

November 13th, 2013 · 36 comments

Our submitter, Gavin, saw this note displayed prominently on the wall in the lounge/bar area of a 104-year-old fishermen’s club in Sussex, England.

“I found it quite touching that they’d selected tomato-coloured ink to write the note in no-nonsense Times New Roman ALL CAPS,” Gavin says. And while he hasn’t a clue as to the identity of the culprit or the circumstances involved, “I doubt that this person is popular with the club committee.”

COULD THE PERSON WHO KEEPS THROWING TOMATO JUICE ALL OVER THE FLOOR HERE PLEASE STOP WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE

related: Trust me, I’m the Doctor.

FILED UNDER: I know who you are · so this is a thing? · U.K.


36 responses so far ↓

  • #1   kermit

    We know who you are, but we’re not going to name you in the note we’re writing to you specifically.

    Pansies! This is not how PA note-writing is done. Somebody needs to write a manual about this so that it may be consulted by those who need it.

    Nov 13, 2013 at 8:31 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   H for Toy

      That’s right! There should be misspellings and glitter!

      Nov 14, 2013 at 7:54 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   The Elf

      And *where* are the underlinings, highlighters, and exclamation points? Obviously notewriter isn’t very upset about it, since he didn’t bother to emphasize any particular words or add punch with an exclamation point or seven.

      Nov 14, 2013 at 8:00 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Tesselara

      “You know who you are” …maybe they don’t! Maybe they’ve been bodysnatched by aliens, or suffer from multiple personality disorder, or maybe they sleepwalk (sleepthrow?)!

      In any case, this is a completely useless sentence. More effective (and creepy) is, “We know who you are.”

      Nov 14, 2013 at 8:22 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Maitri

      FFS the PA craze has really gotten out of hand. Nooooo confrontation aaaaagh!

      Letter writer: go to the person that you KNOW is doing it, and ask them politely to stop.

      Nov 14, 2013 at 8:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   The Elf

      You know what would be awesome? A note that doesn’t actually explain the problem – at all – and just says “WE KNOW”.

      Nov 14, 2013 at 8:49 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Tesselara

      …With the bottom corner soaked in tomato juice! Epic.

      Nov 14, 2013 at 8:54 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   L

      …and now the weather.

      Nov 14, 2013 at 9:26 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   H for Toy

      Elf @ 1.2, don’t you mean “where” are…?

      Nov 14, 2013 at 9:42 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   teresasbell

      what Debbie explained I am shocked that a mom can get paid $9355 in 4 weeks on the internet. go right here……..
      ❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥
      Cort.as/6lNW
      ❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥❥

      Dec 5, 2013 at 7:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Haribo Lector

      Or maybe just telling them directly, even.

      Dec 15, 2013 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Veiny Throbber

    Why are they so sure it’s tomato juice?

    Nov 13, 2013 at 8:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Dan

      Very few substances have that particular scent.

      Nov 13, 2013 at 9:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   redheadwglasses

      I assumed it is just someone with consistent vomit.

      Nov 13, 2013 at 11:16 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Amy

    Seems like a Dr. Who fan wrote the title of this post.

    Nov 13, 2013 at 9:21 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   jollyroger

      I am assuming it refers to the red toner used in the PAN…. Yes I am a massive Dr Who nerd… Bring on the 50th anniversary this weekend GERONIMO ;) or ALONSY if you prefer. Ok I’ll stop now.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 3:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Lita

      Tsk, jollyroger. It’s “allons-y”.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   shwo! bang

    “OR AT LEAST ALSO THROW SOME VODKA AND A SHOT OF TABASCO”

    Nov 13, 2013 at 10:46 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   redheadwglasses

      Ha!

      Nov 13, 2013 at 11:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   kacie

    “And stay out!”

    Nov 13, 2013 at 10:55 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   TRT

    We all know it was Bloody Mary!

    Nov 14, 2013 at 4:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Bloody Mary

    That tomato juice was fuckin’ delicious!

    Nov 14, 2013 at 7:58 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   The Elf

    Throwing Clamato all over the floor is fine.

    Nov 14, 2013 at 7:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Karen

    Paint the wall red and put in red flooring and all is well.

    Nov 14, 2013 at 9:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   RCat

    It’s their own fault for having indoor cats during a fiction workshop lecture for college students who don’t pay attention.

    Nov 14, 2013 at 10:28 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Ace of Space

    What? No quotation marks? I can’t take this note seriously.

    Nov 14, 2013 at 10:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   So

    Am I being dim but I don’t understand why it’s pointed out that the club is 104 years old. My last house was 120 and my parents is 500.

    Unless of course it’s a club for 104 year old fishermen. In which case they could hardly be blamed for spilling juice.

    Nov 14, 2013 at 2:23 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   redheadwglasses

    I guess “We know who you are” either is a lie, or they know what the person looks like, but not the person’s identity.

    /takingitseriously

    Nov 14, 2013 at 4:49 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Tard

    You know, the really snarky PAN about millennials got well over 200 comments… could it be we thrive on… wait for it… Passive aggressiveness?

    Nov 14, 2013 at 4:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Bonkers

    Am I the only one wondering about what has to be a glass of urine sitting in the window? Does that punctuate the message somehow, or is it an incredibly vague retaliation to it?

    Nov 14, 2013 at 8:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Zichao

      That’s what I was thinking. A pint glass, ffs. Kudos that guy.

      Nov 15, 2013 at 8:13 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   H for Toy

      Someone has exceptionally good aim.

      Nov 15, 2013 at 10:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Tesselara

      And is quite well hydrated

      Nov 15, 2013 at 11:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Lab dude

      H – only if they filled it where it stands.

      State Trooper to suspected DUI driver: “Sir, can you fill this cup for me please?”

      Driver: “From here?”

      Nov 15, 2013 at 11:54 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Helen Without The H

    Maybe Norman Bates is home and it’s BLOOD Mother!

    Nov 15, 2013 at 1:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Snowflame

      My guess? It’s a very scaled down version of La Tomatina. Or it’s a poltergeist created from the ghosts of all the fish who have been killed over 104 years that seeks to get its revenge by spilling someone’s drink in the hope they’ll order three Bloody Mary’s in a row and therefore die. Fish have the most convoluted plans.

      Nov 15, 2013 at 7:10 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     

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