Is it really Baby Jesus stealing season again already?

November 18th, 2013 · 99 comments

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but as Rachel in Victoria, B.C. noticed, nativity scenes are already becoming crime scenes.

I hate to say that and most of you may not even believe it, but there are people they steal

related: Baby Jesus is AWOL

FILED UNDER: British Columbia · Christmas · Jesus · most popular notes of 2013 · stealing · warning


99 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Rainlight

    It may be before Thanksgiving in the USA, but here in Canada (where the note is from), Thanksgiving was last month.

    Is there seriously a black market demand for “baby Jesus”s?

    Nov 18, 2013 at 3:55 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   L

      You know what’s fun? Being aggressively festive just to irritate people.

      Nov 18, 2013 at 10:48 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   meri

      That happens at my office, L, and it’s not so fun!

      Nov 18, 2013 at 10:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   The Elf

      That explains it! It used to be – back in the last millenium – that you wouldn’t see nativity displays and huge Christmas displays in stores and 24/7 carols and the whole shebang until after Thanksgiving. You’d only start seeing “Black Friday” advertisements in the two weeks leading up to it. Now I see the problem – they’re using the Canadian calender. This explains why I’m seeing all this Christmas junk before Halloween.

      Damn you Canada! First you give us Beiber and now even earlier Christmas! Nooooooooo!!!!!!

      Nov 19, 2013 at 7:09 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Jami

      Take a deep breath and remember that Canada also gave us William Shatner and Deadpool.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:08 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   TKD

      Whew, I am soooo glad we switched from the Mayan to the Canadian calendar last November. That apocalypse would have sucked. An early Christmas season is not too much to pay for continued existence.

      BTW, can any of my Canadian friends help me out and let me know when the end of the world is scheduled on that Canadian Calendar?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:30 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   kermit

      The end of the world is when the glaciers start to melt and they’ll all move down south. The Canadian attempt at annexing the Turks and Caicos didn’t go anywhere (seriously), so that’s really the only option left, unless you have a better idea.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 10:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Cole bang

      [Canada] + [Missing Baby Jesus] = [Maple Syrup Messiah]

      {It’s what’s for dinner *somewhere* in Canada right now}

      Nov 20, 2013 at 4:38 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   AuntyBron

      Well, yeah, Rain – to replace the Baby Jesus that some Good-For-Nothing-Gonna-Burn-In-the-Fire-Pits-of-Hell thief swiped last year.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 10:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   teresasbell

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      Dec 5, 2013 at 7:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Rachel

      Calm down everybody. It’s a year-round Christmas shop.

      Jan 14, 2014 at 3:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Petrat

    I can lay money this is the Christmas store on Government that is covered in PA notes that make you feel unwelcome the moment you walk in.

    Nov 18, 2013 at 4:18 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Rachel

      Yes. You are quite right!

      Jan 14, 2014 at 3:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   H for Toy

    I don’t understand this kidnapping. As a kid, I preferred to take the animals out of the nativity set and take them on adventures throughout the house. I always let baby Jesus sleep. In heavenly peace, presumably.

    Nov 18, 2013 at 4:40 pm   rating: 140  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Bee

      this is seriously the most awesome comment I’ve seen all day.

      Nov 18, 2013 at 6:27 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Redheadwglasses

      I would put the nativity animals in sex positions with one another. Just as I did to the stuffed animal collection a coworker kept on her desk.

      My poor parents.

      Nov 18, 2013 at 9:03 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Jami

      I used to have fun making baby Jesus crawl all over. One day I dropped him into the fireplace. No fire but lots of ashes. Never could get them all out of the creases in his diaper.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:11 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   TKD

      Really, Jami, forcing a baby to crawl? What kind of mother are you? Don’t you know you should allow the Baby Jesus to be free range and develop at his own pace?

      And Redhead, that’s just twisted. I like you.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:34 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Jami

      I really am tempted to now start an indoor/outdoor Jesus debate.

      “Don’t you know if you let your Jesus roam outside Romans will come along and crucify him?!”

      Nov 19, 2013 at 3:43 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   TKD

      “But if you shelter your Jesus, he will grow up to be one of those weird people who challenge the establishment and wreak havoc all over the world.”

      Nov 20, 2013 at 8:43 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Jami

      “Jesus’ place is in the home! That’s where he’s the safest. No running around collecting strange men and prostitutes.”

      Nov 20, 2013 at 9:59 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   TKD

      “It is Jesus’ NATURE to roam free. He was ‘intelligently created by totally random events’* to move freely about the countryside, magically producing fish. And spreading apostles, whatever those are.”

      *I found that fact on Wikipedia, so it is clearly a true statistic.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 11:36 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   H for Toy

      Fish and spreading apostles. Is that where the whole lox and bagels thing comes in?

      Nov 20, 2013 at 12:11 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   Lainey

      I always loved Christmastime at my friend’s house. She and her sisters would see how many times during the season they could sneak a Santa statue into the nativity scene without their mom catching on. Bonus points for the longer it took for mom to catch on. They also would take the four wooden letters that spelled NOEL on a shelf and change it to LEON.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 1:52 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   Jami

      “If you let your Jesus roam wild he’ll become feral and do things like healing leapers, raising the death, and banishing demons from a possessed man into pigs and then make them run off cliffs into the sea!”

      Nov 20, 2013 at 2:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Ethel

    Baby Jesus isn’t supposed to show up until Christmas, duh. Who’s the Christian now?

    Nov 18, 2013 at 5:51 pm   rating: 56  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Paperdoll

    I think this is actually a common problem. A couple of years ago, I went into a shop in California and observed that none of their displayed nativity scenes had a Baby J. When I inquired about it, they told me they keep the holy infant out of the displays, because He has a tendency to go AWOL.

    Nov 18, 2013 at 6:19 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Mor

      Must be the same people who can’t resist ripping Darwin fish off of cars.

      Nov 18, 2013 at 8:09 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Raichu

      Or the opposite. Obnoxious either way.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 10:55 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   lori

    People steal them to show they are anti- Jesus. The baby Jesuses ( please humor me, that was super fun to write), should be hidden until Christmas day, to show he was born. If your babies are getting stolen, hide them until the 25th! It’s not nice to steal, but it’s Christian to forgive and move on . Baby Jesus or no, your Jesus is still in your heart.

    Nov 18, 2013 at 6:25 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   H for Toy

      Baby Jesuses? Baby Jesi?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 7:54 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   The Elf

      That explains the chest pains.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:04 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   susan

    Anybody else first see “held for polke” at the end? Just me?

    Nov 18, 2013 at 6:25 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Bee

      I first read it that way and wondered if they meant “held for pokes” as if that were a form of punishment…

      Nov 18, 2013 at 6:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   FeRD bang

      Held for polka! Weird Al’s flying in and everything. It’ll be the accordion event of the year.

      Nov 18, 2013 at 6:44 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   it's naptime

      Will Waldo Butters be there?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 9:54 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Jaylemieux

    “False Christian?” Who said anything about being Christian?

    Nov 18, 2013 at 6:33 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      Well, statistically…… About 75% of Canadians are Christian, so logically you can expect about 75% of Baby Jesus thieves to also be Christian.

      It just goes to show they don’t know much about their own religion. The thieves aren’t supposed to show up until Easter.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 7:18 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Lythande

    You got it wrong, it’s baby Jesus hunting season. I have my permit and I’m ready to go.

    Nov 18, 2013 at 7:41 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   The Elf

      I thought it was wabbit season?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 7:11 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   TKD

      Duck season!

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:35 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Jami

      It’s November. It’s turkey season.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 7:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   TKD

      Now that we’ve officially switched to the Canadian Calendar, apparently turkey season was last month.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 8:44 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   The Elf

      Oh no, I will hold out to the Julian calendar if I have to. Last month was clearly pumpkin spice latte season.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 10:08 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.6   H for Toy

      I thought last month was chocolate season, but then again, chocolate is like coyotes: always in season.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 10:45 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.7   TKD

      Elf and H,
      Are both of you proposing a switch to the Starbucks Calendar? I can whole-heartedly support that change. Especially since that calendar does not have a marked apocalypse as long as I continue to spend at least $4.95 per day on a salted caramel mocha.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 11:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.8   The Elf

      I can get on board with that.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 1:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.9   H for Toy

      Works for me!

      Nov 20, 2013 at 2:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   shwo! bang

    Talk about robbing the cradle, amiright?

    I’ll be here all week. Tip your server.

    Nov 18, 2013 at 7:45 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Redheadwglasses

      I snickered. Then coughed up a lung. Laughing is very bad for my health these days. I expect you to make a size able contribution to caringbridge website, damnit!

      Nov 18, 2013 at 9:07 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Lita

      Here’s your lung back Red, I only used it for a little bit of modern art, and I washed it off real good.

      (What? Dip it in poster paint, smack it on paper…people do it with placentas, why not a lung?)

      Nov 18, 2013 at 11:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Jdaniel

    Hold for police? Hold them down and break their legs with a Louisville Slugger.

    Nov 18, 2013 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Mor

      Oh, lookey – another Xtian wanna-be-violent. Yeah…cause breaking someone’s legs with a bat is truly the proper response to them lifting a 25-cent piece of pottery or plastic made in China. You should go become a violent Islamic; you’d fit right in.

      Oh wait…you’re both two sides of the same coin as it is.

      Nov 18, 2013 at 8:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   joshua

      wait what?

      Nov 18, 2013 at 9:00 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   Rene

      Dude, Mor, simmer down.

      Nov 18, 2013 at 10:58 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   betty lou

      Looks like someone forgot their humor-detection meds today.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 2:22 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Teresa

      I don’t think “Islamic” is a noun.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 4:23 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   The Elf

      Neither is “violent”.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 12:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   TKD

      I don’t think “cause” means what Mor thinks it means, either.

      ,,,, a couple extra commas because you always can use extra punctuation.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 8:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Richard A

    So Christmas is cancelled.

    Nov 19, 2013 at 5:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      Hurray! We can have Yule instead! Who’s got a goat handy?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 7:13 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   it's naptime

      That depends. What are you gonna do to him?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 10:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   The Elf

      Dinner.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 2:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   FeRD bang

      “Awww, Goatly!” – Krieger

      Nov 20, 2013 at 1:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   mendel

    As the old gospel goes: Steal away, steal away, steal away to Jesus! Steal away, steal away home.

    Nov 19, 2013 at 6:00 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Stupid sexy Flanders

    This is why we can’t have nice things.

    Nov 19, 2013 at 6:27 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Snicklefritz

      And where are the good scissors?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:26 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   TKD

      “I only use tape twice a year. Once for your mother’s birthday gift and once for her Christmas present. Why can’t you kids just leave the tape where I put it? Where is that damned tape?”

      Every…single…year.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:40 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Trevor

    Well, if they want to be traditional about it, the Jesus figure shouldn’t really be there until Christmas day. (And the wise men not until Epiphany on 6th January.)

    Nov 19, 2013 at 6:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   buni

      I only heard about this “tradition” 15 years ago. When I was growing up, we put out the whole Nativity at once because on, or the day or two after the Epiphany, we put everything away. It didn’t make sense to me to spend the majority of the season looking at an incomplete Nativity. I like to enjoy mine for the entire season.
      My set dates back to the 1930s. The 3 Kings and the giant camel are my favorite figures.

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:46 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   mutzali

      My favorite piece is the guy with the hat full of eggs. I also liked Gloria, the angel who wears her name on a Miss America sash so you don’t mistake her for Harold.

      We would sent everything up (minus the baby, who went in after we got home from Midnight Mass) and put the three wise guys across the room. They’d get moved closer each day until they got there on Epiphany. Sometimes they’d make detours to other rooms along the way.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 2:26 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   H for Toy

      Gloria was my sister’s favorite. Probably because we didn’t have an egg guy. Did your Gloria wear pink as well?

      Nov 20, 2013 at 3:20 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   buni

      My Gloria wears blue and I don’t have an egg guy either. :( Just three shepherds and a half-dozen loose sheep. My mom’s set even includes a herding dog.

      Nov 22, 2013 at 8:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   The Elf

    The Passive Aggressive Note was the gift from the wiseass man.

    Nov 19, 2013 at 8:35 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   TKD

      And it is the gift that just keeps on giving!

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:41 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Stupid sexy Flanders

      Lol at the Elf!

      Nov 20, 2013 at 2:29 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Satan

    That Jesus was fuckin delicious!

    Nov 19, 2013 at 10:07 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   mcsucker

    my best friend steals baby Jesus statues when they’re put out before Christmas because she says it’s inaccurate storytelling. In short, it’s the principle of the matter.

    Nov 19, 2013 at 1:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Amy in Toronto

      Does she return all the stolen baby Jesus statues that she pilfers, or has she amassed a huge collection of baby Js?

      Nov 19, 2013 at 1:47 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Jami

      Maybe she’s using their bodies to turn into robot Jesuses she’s going to use to take over the world.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 12:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   TKD

      The last time that was tried we got the dark ages. And that was without the use of robots. I wonder what awesome things we could get with today’s technology. Isn’t it about time Hollywood does a remake of the Holy Roman Empire?

      Nov 20, 2013 at 8:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   The Elf

      Can we make it Holy, Roman, and even an Empire this time?

      Nov 20, 2013 at 10:10 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   Raichu

      Accurate storytelling is a noble aim, but being an asshole and taking peoples’ stuff de-noblefies it. And really, what’s wrong with people wanting to look at the whole set? Nativities look nice. It doesn’t mean people don’t know the story, and even if they don’t, why does it matter? The dates are off anyway – Jesus wasn’t born until after New Years according to historians. And the exact dates aren’t really the point of the story.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 11:03 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   The Elf

      I have to agree, Raichu. It’s a dick move.

      Faith is, by definition, belief without proof. Going for accuracy implies that there is a truth can be proven. If your friend is clinging to the principle of the matter, then your friend is way, way off.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 1:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.7   Raichu

      Eh, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to recognize the historical accuracy of an event that you attach faith-based meaning to. Just do it with your own nativity sets and don’t police/steal from everyone else’s :)

      Nov 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.8   The Elf

      A historically accurate manger scene would be no manger scene, given that there isn’t a historical record of it (independent of the Bible). It’s one of those things you really have to take on faith!

      Nov 21, 2013 at 2:24 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.9   Lil'

      So she’s opposed to an inaccurate depiction of the Savior, but she’s OK with stealing to make her point. Seems a little contradictory.

      Nov 26, 2013 at 11:23 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Belle

    ’tis the season to be seizing baby Jesus

    Nov 19, 2013 at 4:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Lita

    Tis the seize-on.

    No, seriously, it’s obvious where Baby J has got off to. He went away in a manger.

    …I’ll show myself out.

    Nov 19, 2013 at 8:03 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Belle

      A +1 for your comment. Well done!

      Nov 19, 2013 at 8:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Hastor

    The part that gets me is how she refers to them as “False Christians”, assuming that of course everyone must want to be Christian deep down.

    Nov 20, 2013 at 12:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   kermit

      Meh, I think she’s just referring to the segment of the population that thinks it’s okay to mess with her nativity scene being false Christians.

      Presumably, if you’re a happy atheist/other faith person, you’d leave the thing alone because have more fun things to do and/or realize that it’s important to her, so not mess with it.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 4:08 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Snowflame

    Am I the only one who thinks this notewriter is missing a trick? Why not declare it a miracle? The miracle of the disappearing Jesus…I bet they’d sell more nativity scenes.

    Nov 20, 2013 at 2:40 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   kermit

      I think the Monty Python dead parrot sketch has shown otherwise, Snow.

      Nov 20, 2013 at 9:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   gwen

    I only steal baby jesus when he is still in the manger and it is my birthday- second week of January.

    Those baby jesus are really piling up…

    Nov 24, 2013 at 6:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   TheDom

    Ummm… Nailing down Baby Jesus could be a good practice run for Easter?

    Nov 24, 2013 at 7:49 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Havingfitz

    It’s only funny if you leave a note behind that says “Ha! This time I win! Love, Herod.”

    Nov 25, 2013 at 1:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Lynn

    In South and Central America they dont put Jesus in the manger until Christmas eve. It’s a cute idea but the Mary staute alway looks kinda confused with her arms out in the tradition pose like she lost something

    Nov 27, 2013 at 11:18 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
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