Please, take me. Take me now.

December 2nd, 2013 · 33 comments

Spotted by Elissa in Annandale, Australia:

I have been dumped by my idiot owners. Pls take me! (It's okay! You'll get over her! There are so many desks out there.)

related: Free coat rack, gently used

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · Australia · smartass


33 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Tea

    We once picked up a couch at the side of the road that was marked “Free – still works”

    Dec 2, 2013 at 11:56 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   teresasbell

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      Dec 5, 2013 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   JasmineWHall

      My co-worker’s mother makes 81 Dollars every hour on the internet. She has been without work for 6 months but last month her payment was 18818 Dollars just working on the internet for a few hours. She bought an almost buttplug from Mobbydkman! browse around this website
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      Dec 18, 2013 at 1:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   The Elf

    Take my shelf – please.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 12:32 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   Jdaniel

    Your sister was better looking. Sorry.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 12:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   garicgymro

    Don’t they mean, “There are so many potential owners out there”?

    Dec 2, 2013 at 12:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   H for Toy

    So surprised this wasn’t taped to a cat.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 1:11 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   buni

      I had the same thought. Perhaps there WAS a cat sitting on the desk when the note was taped there and someone did take it.

      Dec 2, 2013 at 2:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   kermit

      Have you tried to tape anything to a cat? Some (most?) won’t even sit still enough to get a collar on them; that’s why they had to invent the surgically implanted chip dealie.

      Dec 2, 2013 at 10:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   common

      False. One of my main duties at work is cat-taping and it’s really not as difficult as people make it out to be. There is definitely a learning curve but I can count on one hand the number of times whatever I was attaching came off. Now, the baby-taping business is a whole other story. Anything with thumbs is going to give you a whole host of issues.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 9:38 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Jeanette

      Well, of course with babies you use staples.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 9:47 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   kermit

      Common, the reason you can only count on one hand is because you don’t have any fingers left on the other one.

      You are not fooling anyone, bub.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 10:15 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   buni

      True story – when I was a child, my friend’s cat was shedding so badly that my friend was using masking tape on the cat to remove loose fur and when she got bored with that, she wrapped the cat mummy-style in tape. I watched her do it and when her mom saw what she had done, she was not happy, to say the least.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 10:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   H for Toy

      I thought you used pins for babies. That’s how my mom used to keep our diapers on.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 11:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   L

      My mom once had an orange cat that she said looked just like Garfield. She said she wondered what it’d look like with eyebrows so she used electrical tape to make eyebrows on it.

      Apparently, cats look weird with eyebrows.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 2:58 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   kermit

      Gee that’s mean. Cats already have “eyebrows”, i.e. whiskers where their eyebrows should be.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 3:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Beatus Mongous

      Scotch tape on the bottoms of a cat’s paws is pretty funny.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 4:08 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   kermit

      Yeah, because that’s not hurting the cat. Removing a necessary thing like their feeler whiskers is needlessly cruel and isn’t funny.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 6:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Bones

      I don’t think electrical tape is going to remove many cells, much less whiskers.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 8:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   shwo! bang

    You wouldn’t have been dumped if you weren’t so shelfish.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 2:32 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   DaveGI

    This is what happens when desks are allowed outside. Keep your desks indoors people!

    Dec 2, 2013 at 4:12 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   poopypants

      Frankly, if someone kept leaving their desk outside I’d drive it to the dump and leave it for someone to find. If it gets returned to the owner, they’ll have learned a valuable lesson, if not…. That pesky desk won’t be bothering me anymore.

      Dec 2, 2013 at 10:31 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   AssiveProgressive

    I would take you but I already have so many shelves I am tripping over them.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 4:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Belle

    Sorry, but I have a shelfish allergy.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 5:05 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Lita bang

    Clearly someone found out what was in her drawers.

    Also, would this be a shelf portrait?

    Dec 2, 2013 at 8:27 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   AssiveProgressive

    Hey, baby, let’s you and me leave this curb and get shellacked.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 9:42 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   kermit

    Maybe he wouldn’t have dumped you if you weren’t so (artificially) wooden.

    Not even Al Gore could get away with that since Tipper dumped him.

    Dec 2, 2013 at 10:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Tard

    > cannot think of a clever retort <

    Dec 2, 2013 at 10:28 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Redheadwglasses

      Ditto.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 1:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   kermit

      That’s okay, Tard. Both you and the imitation wood are hard pressed.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 10:18 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Beatus Mongous

    Looks like someone took a jigsaw to the back of it.

    Dec 3, 2013 at 4:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   kermit

      Nah, cheap furniture from discount chains comes unfinished like that at the back.

      Dec 3, 2013 at 5:46 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   teresasbell

    like Albert said I am surprised that a single mom able to profit $5317 in four weeks on the internet. this website ………… Cort.as/6lNW

    Dec 3, 2013 at 7:06 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up