Neat freaks on speed

December 17th, 2013 · 129 comments

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

I am so sorry that I cleaned the entire house again. I am also sorry for doing everybody's dishes + cleaning up after their dishes. Have fun trashing the entire apartment. Especially since you have never been loud :)

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

FILED UNDER: Boston · cleaning · mean girls · roommates · smiley · thanks (but not really)


129 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Tupelo

    Well there may have been many better ways to handle this but I have been in situations where I just wished to god people would take a little effort to clean up after themselves. I’m not even a clean freak; I just figure after a day or two people would clean their dishes or put away their leftovers. Visibly dirty toilets are annoying and so is junk all over a floor or rug. I am actually cleaner when living with others because I am not the only person that has to live with it. Ok, ending rant now!

    Dec 17, 2013 at 9:20 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      Considering the roommate was cleaning *after abusing adderall*, the question of whether the other roommates were truly messy is debateable. Are we talking about a couple of plates and a glass in the sink overnight or a moldering pile? Did she put away a teetering pile of misc stuff on the dining room table that has been growing more unstable by the month or arrange the pantry by country of origin, declaring loudly that England and France must never mix?

      Dec 18, 2013 at 6:52 am   rating: 53  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   H for Toy

      Plus, “I’m so sorry I cleaned the entire house alone again,” leaves out the part about “because I did it while normal human beings are sleeping.” It also leaves out “naturally,” but I doubt she’s a Gilbert O’Sullivan fan.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 7:34 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Nikki

      The problem can come when people with incompatible levels of clean live together. I had a friend who was deeply obsessive about the level of clean she kept her house, though we were all young and worked long hours, and asked to come live with me and another friend when we had an opening in our townhome. I was extremely worried about the potential for combustion in this situation because I had been the “clean” roommate before and knew what kind of anger this bred. But thankfully she acknowledged her unrealistic level of cleanliness and basically told us that she’d do all the cleaning she wanted and not begrudge us for not keeping up with her as long as we didn’t mind if she picked up our possessions that were scattered around the house and just piled them in our rooms while she was in a cleaning frenzy. It was a small price to pay, and she was a great roommate.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:18 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Tesselara

      Yes. “messy” has very different definitions. I won’t jump to conclusions until I have a better idea of peoples’ baselines–rats running across the floor, or a misplaced placemat….

      Even so. Even if they were living amongst leaning piles of rat infested trash, that woman still comes off as unlikable. Ugh.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:53 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   JasmineWHall

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      Dec 18, 2013 at 1:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   magicdomino

      Wait, what? She bought a buttplug from a moldy man? What is the “almost”? Almost used? And this is supposed to be a good thing?

      Dec 18, 2013 at 4:48 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   Jami

      Unless your coworker’s mother is a drug addicted neat freak who shampoos the carpets at 3 am I’m not interested in her fetish for used buttplugs.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 9:27 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   H for Toy

      Some spambot has been spending too much time on Lamebook…

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:04 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Kate

      Nikki – I agree. I have OCD, so I know my definition of ‘clean’ is a bit different from everyone else’s. That’s why I’ve never lived with roommates – they didn’t deserve to be held to the same standard of cleanliness as a mentally ill person.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 11:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Madrias

      I’m the proverbial “messy” side of the coin. I hate cleaning, but it’s a necessary evil. I take pride in my work, so when I clean, I get surfaces that I’d not be afraid to eat off of, but otherwise, I’m the guy who sticks a week’s worth of plates in the sink and washes them on Saturday. I’m the guy who has the trash can by my desk because otherwise the computer room gets buried in soda cans.

      One of my friends nearly wanted to kill me after I spent two weeks at his house (what we called “roommate training boot camp” because he wanted a proper learning experience of what he’d likely get into with roommates). I’m not sure whether it was my nocturnal lifestyle (yep, I’m usually up all night and sleeping in the day. Perils of working the graveyard shift…), the plates in the sink, or the fact that I decided that wtf-o-clock was the right time of the morning to scrub the toilet.

      One morning, I found a note on the table “kindly” informing me that I’m much too loud at night and that I’m quite messy. I kindly informed him that I’m normal compared to roommates.

      A month later, he sent me an email asking if I’d room with him cause his roommate is a pig. I asked what happened.

      Apparently his new roommate thinks it’s appropriate to wash clothes, including grease-striped underwear, once a month, that the toilet “isn’t dirty until it’s brown” and “Why should I wash the dishes? I mop the floor” is the excuse for why the dishes hadn’t been washed in a week. Oh, and the floor the guy mopped? He mopped it with water. No soap, just water.

      I told him “One, I told you I was normal. Two, I’m comfortable at home sharing my paycheck with Dad. Three, you do remember I’m nearly completely nocturnal and would be washing dishes, scrubbing the toilet, and eating ‘dinner’ while you’re asleep?”

      “Oh. I forgot that last one.” I mean, I understand sometimes roommates can be pigs, and sometimes being nocturnal makes you the hated roommate, and that different levels of ‘clean’ exist.

      To answer the debate fully, and as a TL;DR for everyone, I consider an object clean when I’m not afraid to put a slice of pizza on it and then eat it. I hate cleaning, but when I do it, I do it right. Even, and especially, when it’s after midnight.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 4:48 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Sarah

      Ditto

      Dec 19, 2013 at 5:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Kris

    She can move in with me and make all the noise she wants.

    Dec 17, 2013 at 9:27 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Stephica

      That’s exactly how I feel. What kind of a slob revels in their filth so much that they complain about someone making too much noise while cleaning up said slob’s mess?

      Dec 17, 2013 at 9:31 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   AssiveProgressive

      My significant other is that type of slob. She would complain that while she was sleeping she could hear me doing the dishes. I was so mad! (I do work different hours from her, so yes, I was probably washing dishes at midnight, but I know I wasn’t banging pots or throwing things around.) Anyway, I would love to wake up to the sound of someone doing housework.

      Dec 17, 2013 at 9:51 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Jami

      There’s a difference between wallowing in one’s filth and dealing with someone vacuuming at 2 am.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:34 am   rating: 64  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   The Elf

      A drug-abusing, insomniac, neat freak who possesses a pink pen and isn’t afraid to weild it passive-aggressively? You can keep her.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 6:54 am   rating: 55  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Tesselara

      Amen, Elf!

      Dec 18, 2013 at 11:22 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Zairrin

      My brother threatened to slit my throat once because I was doing the dishes too loudly… They were HIS dishes, too.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:41 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Roto13

    “That’s ok! In fact, I like the fact that you clean up after me. It’s totally fine! I’m glad to know that you like it so much. I was thinking that maybe I should start trying to be tidier, but you really do seem to love cleaning, so as a favour to you, I’ll let you keep doing it yourself. You’re welcome!”

    Dec 17, 2013 at 9:45 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   buni

      I used to say that to my mom when I still lived at home. The mess in my room bothered her, not me. Why should I deprive her of the joy of cleaning?

      Dec 18, 2013 at 7:25 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   victoria

    OMG where can I get this roommate? Please? I’m desperate.
    One of my present roommates dirties everything, uses stuff I’m allergic to and lies about it, leaves food to dry solid, borrows things and returns them months later, and has an explosive temper when I “blame” and “nag” him. I’ll take this one for trade right now!

    Dec 17, 2013 at 10:04 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Someone

    Yeah, see, if your roommates have made a mess, you ask them to clean it up. You don’t stay up late doing it yourself and then leave a passive aggressive note. I mean, it’s possible that the evil roommate asked the submitter to clean up and she didn’t do it, but wouldn’t the note writer have mentioned it in the note?

    Team submitter.

    Dec 17, 2013 at 10:08 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   kermit

      You’re right. Slobs clean their mess up right away when you mention it to them.

      They just failed to do it before because they have dirt blindness disease and didn’t see the mess they made before.

      Dec 17, 2013 at 10:25 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   FeRD bang

      While I really feel there are no saints in this one, I have to agree with Someone. 4am housework noises when other people are trying to sleep don’t become somehow “okay” just because you’re martyring yourself to someone else’s mess.

      (I say this as someone who lives alone and regularly cleans at 4am — but I’d stop if I got any complaints, because I respect that those are valid “quiet hours”. I don’t expect that to happen, though, since oddly enough I seem to be totally fine with my constrained noisemaking. And I don’t ever vacuum during those hours, for example, because I know that would probably be disturbing my neighbors.)

      Dec 17, 2013 at 11:35 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   kermit

      Aside from vacuuming, what household cleaning noises are there, really?

      Running water to clean dishes or fill up a mop bucket doesn’t create any more noise than running water because you’re taking a shower. If you’re banging plates or pots around, chances are it’s because you’re mad, not because it’s normal noise from cleaning them.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 9:36 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   The Elf

      Vacuuming is the worst, but there’s also noise from other appliances (dishwasher, laundry), the banging of dishes, stacking stuff, dropping stuff, noise from music/tv (most people like some sort of background to distract from the tedium), assorted deprecations on the character of the people you’re picking up after…… Plus, I suspect someone on amphetamines wasn’t exactly being quiet and careful.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:10 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   FeRD bang

      There’s also the point that showering typically takes place behind a closed door, whereas many kitchens don’t have a door to close them off from the rest of the household.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:40 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   H for Toy

      Dropping pots and pans because you’re a klutz. Falling over accumulated debris in the living room, and, like Elf pointed out earlier, yelling about England and France being near each other in the pantry. Though, I always pictured Ferd as more of an alphabetizer.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:50 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   FeRD bang

      Don’t be silly. The perishables are sorted by expiration date, the dishes are stacked in size order, and the spices are arranged by color!

      OBVIOUSLY!

      Dec 18, 2013 at 11:15 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   kermit

      Expiration date and not salt content and/or meal preparation combination? How odd.

      *judgmental look at FeRD*

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:02 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   H for Toy

      I’ve always preferred alphabetizing by first ingredient listed, but I can see the virtue of color. Organized and pretty. Obviously.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:10 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Kupo

      I have two spice racks – one where you only see the tops, with the names of the spices on them, and another where the containers are stacked and see-through, so you mainly see the contents. The former is organized by A-Z and the other by color. Of course, it makes it a little confusing to have to look through two sets of spices, but I need too much variety to keep it down to one spice rack.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:34 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   The Elf

      Uh, I’m suddenly afraid that I’m the only one in this world who “organizes” a spice rack by whatever I used most recently. Chipotle powder? Up front and center. Pickling spice? Waaaaaay back in there.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 1:28 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   H for Toy

      That’s actually how I organize my spices, despite not having a big enough rack. Garlic powder, salt and pepper right next to the stove; onion powder, basil, cinnamon, ground cumin, in a rack on an easily accessible shelf; Chinese five spice and whole cloves in a bag on the pantry floor. I’m not sure they even make racks big enough for the amount if herbs and spices I have.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 2:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.13   L

      Depends also on how thin your walls are. My house is all one storey. I could tell you what drawer or cupboard is being opened in the kitchen, probably.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 2:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.14   Jami

      What’s this “spice rack” everyone is talking about? I keep mine free range in the cupboard.

      Okay, granted, they’re of varying sizes. From small bottles to “Oh my God this will last me until 2020″ size.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 3:57 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.15   Wench

      I thought you were supposed to organise by the amount of fibre each food stuff offered as per the Sheldon Cooper method of pantry organising….

      Dec 18, 2013 at 5:21 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.16   H for Toy

      Free Range spices are so much better for you, too. More humane for the spices as well.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:08 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.17   Geek Goddess

      No, you should keep your spices indoors! Outdoor spices lead short brutal miserable lives!

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:21 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.18   H for Toy

      How can you say that?! Have to seen the living condition those big name spices have to live in? All cooped up in tiny cages, and injected with hormones?!

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:49 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.19   Jami

      What have I done?

      Dec 18, 2013 at 11:16 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.20   TKD

      Myself, I am a free-range spicer. Large drawer, all of them milling around as they please. Cumin is usually floating on top. Sometimes I even let them wander about the counter top. (I’m still looking for my Melange) But hey, if you are the type of person that likes to keep your spice in line and orderly, who am I to criticize you. What happens in the privacy of your own kitchen is your business, right?

      Dec 19, 2013 at 6:21 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.21   buni

      I used to have a spice rack (alphabetized); but I’m not much of a cook, so I only use 5-6 spices. Now my spices are free-range in the cupboard and whatever I used last is up front. And since I’m lazy, my favorite is the spice blend that has everything I like to use in one bottle.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 8:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.22   FeRD bang

      @TKD: I wouldn’t look too hard for that Melange. You don’t want to end up with sand worms in your cupboard.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 9:17 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.23   kermit

      Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve never gotten the point of having a spice rack.

      Most spices that are fresh and actually do the job come in varying different forms that don’t fit into the little bottles. Grinding stuff down to mush waaay ahead of time before using it destroys the flavor, e.g. bay leaves, nutmeg balls, vanilla bean stalk, cinnamon stick, etc.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 9:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.24   The Elf

      I understand your point, Kermit, but that whole process requires waaaaaay more organization and effort than I’m willing to apply to weeknight dinner.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 12:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.25   kermit

      I agree, which is why rarely use spices at all. Most of the time if something is crappy, adding spices or sauces isn’t going to make it any better.

      The only spice stuff I have in my kitchen right now is cayenne pepper, salt, rosemary and cinnamon.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 12:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.26   poopypants

      No cumin? This isn’t the Thunderdome, Kermit.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 11:38 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.27   kermit

      What am I supposed to use cumin for? I don’t think I have ever made anything that called for cumin.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 11:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.28   The Elf

      I use cumin all the time. It gives an essential earthiness to Tex-Mex cuisine. That’s where I use it most. But it’s origin is in Indian and North African cuisine. So if you don’t cook recipes from those lands very often, you probably would never use cumin.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 3:16 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.29   Jami

      I’m allergic to cumin. Or perhaps cinnamon. Some of the companies cut pre-ground cinnamon with cumin. So whenever I have something made with this mix I have a horrific time breathing. I keep meaning to try them both separately to figure out which makes my throat swell but I’m kind of scared too.

      And right now I’m seeing so many doctors for my anemia and PCOS I really don’t want to add an allergist to the list of doctors I see.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 4:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.30   H for Toy

      I like cumin in a lot of dishes, but I wouldn’t risk it if I were you. I thought of you today when I heard Barry Manilow on the Christmas station :)

      Dec 22, 2013 at 6:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.31   Jami

      Barry’s Christmas albums are about the only ones I like because they’re not over played. He’s got this one song on the Because It’s Christmas album I adore. It’s called I Guess There Ain’t No Santa Claus – it’s a single person’s lament about being alone at Christmas.

      Have I ever mentioned the Johnny Mercer story? When Mercer died his widow found a lot of lyrics he wrote never set to music and she gave them to Barry. That was one of the song lyrics given to him. He and another writer had to add another to finish the song out, but it’s a Johnny Mercer song.

      As for other singers’ – if I have to listen to Andre what’s his face mutilating Jingle Bells one more time I’m going to scream. Jingle Bells is not a song meant to be sung slow! And those guys he has singing it fast are terrible! So nasally and off key. I’m also regretting helping mom find Susan Boyle’s Christmas CDs. She’s got a beautiful voice and I admire her a lot, but mom’s played those albums so much I want to scream. At least I break up the Barry albums with Christmas With The Rat Pack and Cherry Cherry Christmas.

      Dec 23, 2013 at 12:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.32   Lee

      FERD: I wanted to make a joke about your OCD but then I realized that’s actually the way my fiance has organized the kitchen. ;-;

      May 2, 2014 at 10:23 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   kermit

    Yeah, living in a clean and organized apartment that you didn’t have to lift a finger to clean must be hell. Really.

    I bet it would have been much more preferable and cool if she stayed up really late blasting the tv instead of the “racket” involved in cleaning.

    Be grateful, you git. She could have very well brought in rats to indicate that maybe you should clean the place.

    Dec 17, 2013 at 10:23 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Bones

      Boy, I LOVE having a clean place. It makes me feel SO much better.

      But I love sleep more. Some of us have work in the morning.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 7:39 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   kermit

      Fair enough, but to get work in the morning you need to find your clean pants and shoes.

      It’s a lot easier to sleep longer when you know exactly where the stuff you need for tomorrow is rather than having to get up earlier to you can find everything.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   L

      Pants are over there *points* Shoes are by the door where they belong. Doing the dishes is not necessary to work tomorrow XD

      Dec 19, 2013 at 6:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   The Elf

      And I’m sure finding pants and shoes that *someone else* put away would be really easy.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 7:44 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   H for Toy

      That depends on if they put them away where they belong or not.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 9:39 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Lythande

      Silly person, over there on the floor in front of the closet *is* where they belong.

      Dec 20, 2013 at 12:51 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Phoenix

    Why is everyone assuming that the note is accurate?

    My aunt used to do the same thing, complaining about the “mess” she was “forced to clean up alone.” The mess? There was a jacket on the back of a chair, or something like that, plus she thought it was necessary to take everything out of the fridge and clean it once a week. I don’t mean just clean the fridge- I mean she washed off every container in the damn thing. Once. A. Week.

    Oddly, her roomies weren’t really sympathetic with her cleaning binges at 3 am, nor were they willing to join her in making sure the ranch dressing was spotless. Her whining that they were slobs didn’t help them see things her way.

    Dec 17, 2013 at 10:30 pm   rating: 73  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   kermit

      For my part, the handwriting looks like that of a young, and typically it’s only young people who have room-mates (sitcom plots notwithstanding)

      Dec 17, 2013 at 10:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Phoenix

      I’m not sure how the age is relevant.

      Dec 20, 2013 at 1:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Kupo

      Young people don’t have as much experience and thus are less empathetic towards others’ situations (as a result of not having as large of a body of knowledge to draw from). So, IMO, he/she is less credible as a result.

      Dec 20, 2013 at 7:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Jami

      The chick was popping Adderall – most likely to try and stay up late. I hear that the college kids do this so they can spend all night studying for a big test instead of doing the sensible thing like studying the entire week in short bursts and sleeping.

      But she’ll likely grow up to be like Phoenix’s aunt. Or maybe she’ll grow out of it. My mom used to be that way. If something was so much as a 1/4th of an inch off it was “strewn about.” I used to have this little figurines that I wanted to face a certain way so they were looking at a picture of Alan Rickman as Col. Brandon. She was always saying my room was “a sty” while changing the way they faced. Finally I said to her, “I want them to face this way. Please stop moving them.”

      Now that she’s older and less mobile, she really doesn’t care where things are. While I get upset if people move my keys cause I like them in one specific place so I can always find them.

      Dec 21, 2013 at 2:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Christina

    You guys are assuming that A) the submitter is a slob just because the roommate who wrote this note is implying it and B) the note-writer isn’t grossly exaggerating how much she cleans. Take it from someone who has lived with a control-freak/passive aggressive/argumentative b****… It is very possible the person who wrote this note is just bat-shit crazy. Our roommate would “rearrange” the dishwasher when she got home at 2am by slamming and banging dishes around (because she didn’t think we were efficient enough with the dishwash space). She would take our wet clothes from the washer and put them on the garage floor if we didn’t get them in the dryer fast enough. She locked my other roommates indoor cat on the patio for 10 hours while we were at work because the cat wouldn’t stop crying (meowing?). She changed the wifi password right before she left for a 1 week cruise in Mexico and “forgot” to give us the new password before she left. And she wrote notes like this one ALL the time. All the time.

    Dec 17, 2013 at 11:01 pm   rating: 67  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   TRT

      “She changed the wifi password right before she left for a 1 week cruise in Mexico and “forgot” to give us”

      Reset button.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 4:56 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   furubafan74

      Where is this reser button? I could use it.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 6:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Kupo

      There is usually a small, inset button on the back or underneath the router. You can use a paper clip to press it. It resets to factory settings, and there is usually a password by default, but you can usually find it on the manufacturer’s website.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 9:11 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   TRT

      “but you can usually find it on the manufacturer’s website.”

      Providing you can get onto the internet…

      Dec 23, 2013 at 11:58 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Kupo

      If you can read this, you’re successfully on the Internet. ;) (look it up before pressing the reset button and write down their phone number just in case)

      Dec 24, 2013 at 12:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   1deprogrammed1

    There is a certain acceptable level of mess that cohabitors must agree to in advance. Barring that, I’d offer my friendly neighborhood crack monster a nickel now and a dime later to find my nasty ass roomie and chase him until his ankles smoke. Then I’d offer the roomie a damp, dirty rag to cool his stumps.

    Dec 18, 2013 at 1:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   TRT

    You’re sorry, no-one else is.

    Dec 18, 2013 at 4:55 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   The Elf

    Why are we arguing over if this roommate is better or worse than alternative bad roommates? The submitter gives the best answer: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

    Word.

    Dec 18, 2013 at 6:59 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   kermit

      Why are we arguing?

      It’s the Internets, that’s what we do here – when we’re not telling you about fantastic opportunities of earning 3243.98 an hour on the Internet selling veal chops to Indian highway restaurants.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 8:12 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   H for Toy

      I always thought the Internet was for sharing stories my friends and family had grown tired of hearing, and self-diagnosing fatal diseases.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 8:36 am   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   The Elf

      The internet is for pron.

      And cats.

      But not cat pron.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 8:57 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   Mark

      Yes cat pr0n. See Rule 34.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 1:33 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   hbc

    Her sporadic attention to the lines on the paper is really bothering me. Follow the lines, ignore them, or get unlined paper–just pick a team!

    Dec 18, 2013 at 7:39 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Dane Zeller

    WOULD SOMEONE TURN THE DAMN INTERNET DOWN? PLEASE!

    Dec 18, 2013 at 10:10 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   FeRD bang

      I’ve tried, repeatedly, to turn down its “generous” offers — but like an AOL membership, it just won’t take HELLLZ NO! for an answer.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:38 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Guin

    I had a roommate once who had gone out of town for the weekend. I cleaned the whole place by myself thinking she’d appreciate coming home to that. She returned, looked around the apartment and ran her finger on top of something and said, “I see you forgot to dust.” I considered kicking her in the mouth.

    Dec 18, 2013 at 11:16 am   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Beatus Mongous

      Kicking her out BY the mouth would have been better.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 7:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Quite Contrary

    ::Looking heavenward::

    Thank you dear Lord for not having invented adderall for my obsessive compulsive clean freak of a college/post college roommate from the 1980′s to abuse.

    ::Back to regular scheduled programming::

    Dec 18, 2013 at 11:28 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   kermit

      Meh, I bet they had speed back in the 1980s.

      Adderall (and most, if not all, ADHD drugs) are pretty much watered-down versions of speed.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 8:58 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   L

      Lot of people on ADHD actually mellow way out on speed XD

      Dec 19, 2013 at 6:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   The Elf

      Yes, that’s why Adderall is perscribed for ADHD. But if someone is “abusing” it, then they likely aren’t ADHD.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 7:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Elly

      Biphetamine (commonly called “Black Beauties”) were almost identical to Adderall, the only difference being the d-amphetamine/l-amphetamine ratio in each drug – 1:1 for Biphetamine, 3:1 for Adderall. Black Beauties were quietly withdrawn from the market and Adderall emerged in their place.

      Dec 28, 2013 at 6:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   My name is Princess!

    I am partially deaf. She could have cleaned while playing the 1812 overture all night long and I would have only turned over and went back to sleep.

    She must have been a Girl Scout. After all its the Brownie Scout that cleans the house in the middle of the night when no one is watching. (Or that was what I was told… was it not true?!)

    Dec 18, 2013 at 12:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   H for Toy

      Brownies not Brownie Scouts. Boy, did your mom fool you into a whole lot of cleaning!

      Dec 18, 2013 at 12:08 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   uncreative

      Ah yes. It’s what brownies do. And there is the whole story of the family that wants brownies to help them, so the children sneak downstairs at night and do work to make their family think that they have brownies and are happy, and yay, they do; the children are brownies, because anyone who does that is a brownie. And wow is that the sort of story that adults tell children. Can you just feel the blatant attempt at manipulation?

      Dec 18, 2013 at 9:48 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   uncreative

      H for Toy, brownie scouts are often given that story with the implication that they should emulate it.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 9:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   Jami

      You have to remember to leave out milk and butter out for them though.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 9:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   H for Toy

      If I just leave the milk out, they should be able to make their own butter, right?

      uncreative, so we’ll blame it on the Scout Leader instead of mom.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   Jami

      You’re suppose to put a big scoop of butter in the middle of the milk after pouring it into a bowl.

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   H for Toy

      Add some sugar, flour, cocoa, and make your very own brownies!

      Dec 18, 2013 at 10:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.8   Jami

      Those kind of brownies just make your clothes smaller while you sleep, not scrub your toilet.

      Dec 23, 2013 at 12:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Not Tard

    This could have been written by my mother.

    Dec 18, 2013 at 2:54 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Pixy

    I had a roommate in college who was almost never home. It was pretty sweet, cause she was the chick I shared a room with (our dorms were townhome-style, two floors, three bedrooms, two baths, six people total). Anyway, she’d come home and dirty one or two plates and a glass or two and never clean them. She’d leave her crap all over the living room and never move it (it largely fell on me to tidy up because she shared the bedroom with me and I’d rather put her stuff somewhere than have my other roommates constantly traipsing through my room). It didn’t bother me THAT much, especially because I more or less had a single room, but sometimes she’d come home and make these ridiculously big dinners. I specifically remeber that she made shepherd’s pie a handful of times. She’d dirty up every. single. pot. we had in the dorm to make all the different parts of the pie, leave them in the sink, then go out to party. Two days later, they’d still be there, until one of us got fucking sick of it and cleaned up everything.

    The worst part was the couple of times she was having friends over. She’d come home and “clean” (i.e. throw everything that wasn’t hers in a pile in the corner of the living room) and bitch about it later. “Yeah, there was crap all over the place and I don’t know which was who’s so it’s all over there.”

    So I’m team notewriter.

    Dec 18, 2013 at 5:46 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Lita bang

    Sheesh, if you need Adderall to clean a place top to bottom in the wee hours, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG.

    …Not that I’ve ever done that, mind you. I save the vacuuming for actual daylight hours.

    (I also live semi-alone. Top level of le house is an apartment all its own. If the parents weren’t living downstairs I probably would vacuum at wee hours…)

    ((I should also note that I would not do that if I had roommates. I know how to be a decent damn person when others are sleeping.))

    Dec 18, 2013 at 6:44 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   H for Toy

    Two off-topic comments.
    1) It’s Wednesday night. Wonder what Tard’s doing.
    2) Anyone seen Lil’ lately? Those babies should be due pretty soon!

    Dec 18, 2013 at 10:15 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Tard

      My comments never come up when posted from the iPad, am trying on my PC.

      The date was pretty good, but she’s a lefty and fairly serious about it, I’m center-right and turned off politics and ’causes’ many years ago.

      Plus, I feel kinda stupid dating at my age, like I’ve been through all this crap before. Which I have.

      I’m a fear-driven creature.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 12:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.2   kermit

      Well sure you’ve been through all this crap before. You also brushed your teeth, showered and did laundry more than once. That doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do them again.

      Bridging a political divide can be tough though, especially when one person is blasé about it.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 1:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #20.3   H for Toy

      I agree with kermit on both counts. Dating is like riding a bike, right? :) Just relax and have a good time. No pressure for this to go anywhere serious right now.

      ETA: If you do decide to stop brushing your teeth, showering and doing your laundry, you won’t have to worry about doing the dating thing all over again. Something to consider.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 1:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   H for Toy

    Also, if this doesn’t work out, and you live in the Spokane area, love dogs, and don’t mind dating slightly older women, I have just the lady in mind.

    Dec 19, 2013 at 1:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Tard

      I live in rural Snohomish County, on the wet side.
      Love dogs, have a 13 month old male Whippet now, after my last whippet gave up after a mere 16 years.

      I used to pay a lot of attention to politics but the last 5 years have taught me it’s irrelevant and stupid because everything is out of my control. In 32 years of living in WA, the person for whom I voted has NEVER ONCE WON in WA State. Not once.

      So, I disengaged.

      Can’t explain it, being on the date felt like Groundhog Day — been there, done that, got the t-shirt. It’s like I could see the whole thing in some time-shift event. And my track record with women is good, too, it’s not been a train wreck.

      Too Old To Fuck.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 3:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   H for Toy

      Snohomish… sounds like it was named by Dr Seuss! She’s in Stevens County, about 45 minutes from the Idaho border, so that would be a bit of a hike. She rescues mainly malamutes, but likes all dogs. I don’t know if she’s interested in dating anyone, but since neither of you seem to be, it might be a great fit!

      Just have fun then. No fucking everything, but maybe just the right person, and you’ll realize you’re not too old.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 7:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   kermit

      Tard, if I’m parsing your attitude correctly, you remind me of people who ask what the real point of meditation is.

      Ultimately, there’s no point to anything because we all die anyway. But with that attitude, nobody would ever get out of bed or do anything ever.

      And if you’re wondering, the point of meditation is not to achieve enlightenment, talk to God or align your energy with the universe or anything else along those lines. The point of meditation is learning how to concentrate, to notice when your mind is wandering and bring back your focus to the task at hand.

      Dec 19, 2013 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Kupo

      H, it’s a native name, like a lot of the names in Washington state. It’s fun to say, though. Along with Duwamish and Sammamish. :)

      Tard, keep looking. It’s a pretty lefty state, but the further you get from the cities, the more conservative people tend to be, so you’ll find someone who isn’t left or doesn’t care at some point. It can get frustrating and depressing, but if it’s something you want, just keep trying.

      Dec 20, 2013 at 7:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   H for Toy

      I love native names that are fun to say… Like Conshohocken. Thanks, Kupo.

      Dec 20, 2013 at 11:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   Lita bang

      My favorite is Maquoketa. (IA here.) Mostly because the GPS can’t say it right. Hysterical laughter ensues every time.

      Dec 21, 2013 at 2:18 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   redheadwglasses

      Hey, iowan here. I’ve been to Maquoketa. What’s the GPS say? “Mah-coa-KEY-tah?”

      Dec 21, 2013 at 8:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.8   Lita bang

      Similar to that, yes. And it’s downright hilarious.

      Yay Iowans! *high-five*

      (ETA: Alright, confirmed pronounciation – mah-kwoh-KEY-tah. Just no, GPS…)

      Dec 21, 2013 at 11:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Redheadwglasses

    I’m from the Iowa city area. Howdy, neighbor! (I escaped to minnesota 19 years ago, mom lives in north liberty now.)

    Dec 22, 2013 at 9:20 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Lita bang

      Dubuque. Very nice little town actually. Much prefer it over living just outside of Denver.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 11:28 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   redheadwglasses

      Dubuque is such a pretty town.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 12:26 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Lita bang

      It really is! And everyone’s so dingdangity friendly. It’s awesome. :)

      Dec 22, 2013 at 12:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Parker

    (Portland Orygun resident here): More WA names that are fun to say (and confusing for the “furners”): Puyallup and Sequim (pyoo-AL-up and squim).

    My dad’s stepfather was from Arkansas, and dad tells me the first time his sf came to WA, he commented that Puyallup must be the friendliest place in the state to have called themselves “pull y’all up.”

    Dec 22, 2013 at 10:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Lita bang

      Heheh. Squim.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 11:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   kermit

      Are Squim and Squamish (in British Columbia) sister cities? Because if not, they should be.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 11:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   redheadwglasses

    I am so jonesin for new PA notes!!!

    Dec 22, 2013 at 12:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   The Elf

      Yeah, we’ve evolved into a pleasant discussion of spices. This cannot be.

      Dec 22, 2013 at 8:23 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Madrias

      Sounds like we need the ol’ Indoor vs Outdoor cat debate…

      Dec 22, 2013 at 8:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   H for Toy

      A pleasant discussion of spices? Canthz B?

      Dec 22, 2013 at 9:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Tard

    We decided to maybe date after the holidaze.
    She’s got actual family she loves and I don’t, it would be too awkward for me to hang out with them.

    I think ‘maybe’ is a nice way to let me down easy.

    Do you think it was one of my favorite songs I sent her a link?

    I can see that train a comin’
    Watch that big light shine this way
    Hear that whistle softly blowing
    Lord, it’s been an awful day

    I watched him leave that Friday morning
    It was in the month of May
    I told my son to be a good soldier
    But return again some day

    He was returned just one year later
    But, I’ll not forget that day
    The baggage car is where he traveled
    In a casket where he lay

    CHORUS
    Train man, keep your whistle blowing
    Make it moan and make it whine
    You make a man feel mighty lonesome
    With a memory like mine

    In a little country graveyard
    On a dark and dreary day
    They laid a flag upon the casket
    And the casket in the grave

    I couldn’t stand it any longer
    And I knew not how to pray
    I cried, “Oh Lord, I hate to leave him
    All alone beneath that clay”

    I can see him as a baby
    I can hear him call my name
    I can feel him under fire
    And see him rising from the flames

    Lord, if I could I’d trade places
    I would gladly give my all
    I’d wrap that flag around me like a blanket
    And listen for the clods to fall

    “With a Memory Like Mine”
    — By Darrell Scott

    Dec 23, 2013 at 3:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Allison

    I’ve gone on cleaning kicks at weird hours of the day, but I’d like to think I’ve been quiet about it. cleaning up doesn’t give you the right to be an obnoxious asshole, in fact it kind of negates all the good you’re doing for your roommates.

    I hate people who make a fuckton of noise cleaning; they usually do it because they’re pissed they have to clean, or to make a point. SEE, I’M CLEANING! I’M CLEANING UP AFTER YOU! DO YOU HEAR IT! I HOPE YOU HEAR THIS YOU LAZY SHITNOZZLE!

    Still, at least she was cleaning. when my roommate clangs around the kitchen, he’s usually just making a bigger mess for me to clean up later.

    Dec 29, 2013 at 8:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
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