So much for “New Year, New You”

January 27th, 2014 · 53 comments

In honor of that special time of year when New Year’s resolutions are made abandoned, Laughton in the U.K. draws our attention to this particularly apropos selection from  Awful Library Books.

Overcoming Passive Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger From Spoiling Your Relationships, Career, and Happiness (Pages missing: ALL)

related: And a Happy New Year to you!

FILED UNDER: library


53 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Beatus Mongous

    Spammers suck!

    Jan 27, 2014 at 2:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      Preemptive! Love it!

      Jan 29, 2014 at 10:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Lita bang

    You know, since ripping out the pages of a library book can be considered a passive aggressive act in itself…this is a PAN of a PAN.

    Guys, we’ve done it. We’ve hit PANception.

    *bonnnnnnnng*

    Jan 27, 2014 at 2:41 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Rob

      We’ve arrived in PANvana!

      Jan 28, 2014 at 11:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   zenvelo

      but posting here is like being in a PANopticon.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 3:29 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   The Elf

      You are transparent…. I see many things….. I see PANs within PANs…..

      The spice must flow.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 3:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Raichu

      YO I HEARD YOU LIKE PANS

      Jan 30, 2014 at 3:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Ace of Space

    Looks like somebody got his/her anger out of hiding.

    Jan 27, 2014 at 4:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Ace of Space

      I killed your best friends mother. It was an accident. Really it was.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 4:55 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   FeRD bang

      Too bad you didn’t kill her child’s best friend! :-P

      Jan 29, 2014 at 12:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Ace of Space

      She’s next.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 8:57 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   The Elf

      How can you say it was an accident when I paid you $88 dolars hourly to do it?

      BTW, never make a hit hourly. The stakeout and planning period was really costly. I ended up paying $21,162.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 10:36 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Snicklefritz

      Seriously, what the heck is a dolar? Is it a form of currency that multiplies the value of a dollar so that you can use some sort of fuzzy math to accumulate to the fantastic amount of 21162 from just a few hour’s work?

      Jan 29, 2014 at 3:49 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   assiveProgressive

      Dolor is Spanish for pain. I go to great pains to spam you, muchacho.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 11:27 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Jami

    *sighs*

    Did I mention I work in a public library?

    This, sadly, is nothing compared to the things I’ve seen when it comes to both intentional (cutting/ripping out pages) and unintentional damage.

    One time I had a woman who put three books in our outside bookdrop. One of which was sopping wet. Only wet book in the drop – except for a slight dampness on the others it touched. When I called her about it she spent 15 minutes screaming at me about how she was 54 years old and never damaged a book in her life.

    I’ve had history books that happen to have a naked picture or two in them – like an example of Victorian porn – with the pictures carefully cut out. Someone writing about refrigerators in a book of fiction.

    Red wine, soda, coffee, highlighting, water damage, dog chewed it, kid chewed it, kid put a fudgecicle in the book bag and it melted all over the books, stuck together with oatmeal, gum -

    Oh, and apparently Dr. Oz told people to microwave their books to kill germs. So now we’re getting books back with melted covers.

    Jan 27, 2014 at 5:27 pm   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Tard

      I wrote notes directly into a library recipe book once, forgetting it wasn’t mine.
      The notes were neatly written and simple, so I just returned the book.

      Several years later, I absentmindedly checked the same book out again, only to see many more notes added to recipes throughout the book, all neatly printed and thoughtful, in several different hands.

      Since apparently nobody complained, the library staff didn’t notice or didn’t care.

      Trendsetter.

      Jan 27, 2014 at 5:47 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   FunnyGirl

      WHY WHY WHY would anyone suggest putting a book in the microwave!? Stupid Dr. OZ. That’s why rich people don’t borrow books from the library, they’re afraid they might catch something from the poor masses. If you’re that much of a germaphobe maybe the public library isn’t the place for you.

      Used to be a children’s librarian (before I had my youngest child) in a small library where I spent most of my time covering the checkout desk and I can attest to your book woes. Wet books are the worst; please, people, don’t read in the tub, if you feel that you have to then read a cheap paperback, NOT A LIBRARY BOOK!

      We had a book censor that would black out words that he felt were inappropriate using a wide tip sharpie. He was responsible for thousands of dollars in damages before he was finally caught and prosecuted.

      The worst book damage I ever had to deal with was the time someone peed in the book drop. It happened overnight sometime after the library closed on Saturday and when I came in on Sunday all the books in the book drop were a wet, sticky mess. Many of them were books from other library branches and you wouldn’t believe the paperwork involved. Plus, the bottom of the book drop is carpeted to reduce the noise of books dropping (it’s one of the old fashioned drops on the side of the building) and in spite of us dumping lysol in there it stunk to high heaven before management finally replaced it. GAH! People can be so evil.

      Please be kind to your librarians. This public service announcement was brought to you by a former librarian who just wasn’t paid enough to take your shit (or piss).

      Jan 27, 2014 at 8:00 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   kermit

      Not for nothing, but there are hundreds of good Youtube videos out there that show you how to deal with damaged books.

      I got caught in a rain storm once and my bag (with a library book worth $150+) got soaked. Immediately when I got home I searched for how to fix it, and presto, all you need is a LOT of paper towel and some heavy bricks. You interleave paper towel in between all of the pages (even the ones that don’t look wet), close it back up, stack some heavy bricks on it and just wait for it to air dry a few days.

      Sheesh, it’s not that hard, people.

      Jan 27, 2014 at 8:29 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   AssiveProgressive

      Thank you, I will try to remember not to pee in the library bin.

      Jan 27, 2014 at 8:58 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Jami

      Books damaged by liquid, even ones that are completely dry, can grow mold at a later date.

      Speaking of pee, I swear someone is returning items that a male cat must’ve peed on. (There’s just a certain smell to the pee of a male cat, especially one that hasn’t been fixed.) The items are dry but they and the entire book drop smells like cat pee.

      Jan 27, 2014 at 10:37 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   assiveProgressive

      I know that smell

      Jan 27, 2014 at 11:20 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Poltergeist

      I’m wondering whether the person who cut out the Victorian nudes was a brain-dead religious prude or just some weird fetishist who had yet to discover the wonders of Google image search.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 2:45 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   TKD

      I used to love it when I got one of those library books with the “undesirable” words and pictures politely edited out for me. It felt like there was someone out there looking out for my innocence.

      And it also felt like Adult Mad Libs time. I bet the words and pictures that my friends and I put in around the black marks were much less innocent than what the original editors allowed.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 8:16 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   Jami

      @Poltergeist – I’ve found the two are usually one in the same.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 9:02 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   buni

      When I was a kid, our local library had a self-appointed censor too. She didn’t black out the words, just underlined them. And if I remember correctly, she was anti-Semitic too.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 11:07 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.11   DaveS

      ” I swear someone is returning items that a male cat must’ve peed on.”

      This is why you have to keep your cats indoors. They get into library return bins and pee on the books!

      [As I duck to avoid objects being thrown at me.]

      Jan 29, 2014 at 4:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.12   H for Toy

      No, Dave, that’s why cats should be left outside. So try don’t get onto your bedside table, and pee on your library books.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 5:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.13   Jami

      It’s actually DVD cases that return with unneutered male cat pee smell.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 8:36 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.14   magicdomino

      My neurotic male cat hasn’t peed on library books yet, but he once peed on a stack of my books. Only reason I could think of is that the other male cat leaned against the books while napping. Dom hated the other male. Did I mention that both of these guys were neutered as kittens?

      Jan 30, 2014 at 4:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.15   Jami

      One of my mom’s friends had a male cat who wasn’t neutered well into adulthood. So he was constantly marking his territory in the house. That’s why I associate that strong smell with unneutered male cats.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 5:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   e

    Well, better “pages missing” than “broken spine”, as my chiropractor always said.

    Jan 27, 2014 at 5:35 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   AssiveProgressive

    So I wonder if the thief really liked the book or really hated it. BTW, this is Amazon’s 55th best seller in the Personality Disorder category. Though one reviewer says she much prefers The Passive-Aggressive Man.

    Jan 27, 2014 at 5:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   kermit

      To be fair, if you recognize that you have a PA problem, would you really want people to know what book you’re reading?

      Self-help books and cheap p)rn (like 50 Shades or whatever is in nowadays) are guilty pleasure reads that you don’t want to advertise.

      Jan 27, 2014 at 8:33 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Meezer

    This would be a much better story if this book had been anonymously left on the submitter’s desk.

    Jan 27, 2014 at 9:27 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   buni

    All members of upper management at the company I work for need to read this book. They communicate with each other entirely through PA emails which are cc’d to everyone. Too bad they’re not funny; just sad and pathetic.

    Jan 28, 2014 at 9:41 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Jami

      Oooo! Do some creative editing and submit them! PLEASE????? We’ll make them funny!

      Jan 28, 2014 at 10:37 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   H for Toy

      We do sad and pathetic here too. CC us in!

      Jan 28, 2014 at 10:48 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Tard

      Don’t be a text-teaser!

      Jan 28, 2014 at 4:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Dane Zeller

    I took a razor to a library book one time. In “Catcher In the Rye,” I removed an adverb on page 73. Any writer knows you don’t use adverbs in serious writing.

    Jan 28, 2014 at 10:39 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Jami

      See, the worse I ever did is if a book had a really obvious typo or the ink had faded leaving part of a word out, I’d go in with a black pen to fix it.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 11:23 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Spamajama

    My best friend’s mother makes a gazillion dolars an hour ripping the pages out of library books and stuffing them down the underpants of complete strangers. She got laid off from her job as a Denny’s Grand-Slam Breakfast personal taster and last month she made enough money to buy God.

    ****LICK HERE****

    Jan 28, 2014 at 3:55 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   H for Toy

      Oh man, now my screen is a mess!

      Jan 28, 2014 at 4:43 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Lita bang

      Bleah! That’s the last time I use THAT cleaner on my screen, it tastes like death!

      Jan 28, 2014 at 5:43 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Tard

      It tasted like anal lube.

      …. {light bulb goes over head}…

      Uh, NEVER MIND.

      Jan 28, 2014 at 9:30 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   FeRD bang

      I once had a light bulb that tasted like anal lube…

      Jan 29, 2014 at 12:04 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Poltergeist

      I feel like Red would have really appreciated this comment. I can envision her french kissing her computer screen.

      *sigh*

      Jan 29, 2014 at 12:53 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Tesselara

      Yes, she would have loved this thread. *sigh*

      Jan 29, 2014 at 9:37 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   H for Toy

      Red’s mom wrote a touching post on her caring bridge site, to which the PAN gods and goddesses have posted a link on Facebook.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 4:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   TGIF

      I just learned about Red’s passing through these comments. Damn. I hate that disease.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 4:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Captain Hampton

    I’m late to this party, but couldn’t keep myself from pointing out that “passive aggression” shouldn’t be hyphenated. Morans.

    Jan 31, 2014 at 3:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   chezzy

    lmao..im smiling cos i know this book and ive read it..im laughing me a.. off cos i bought it for my ex and highlighted the parts that applied to him lol..that man sure did hate the truth lol

    Feb 1, 2014 at 2:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Hyacinth

    Nothing against everyone else, but the posts just aren’t the same without RHWG.

    Feb 3, 2014 at 11:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   lejupp

    Love the name of the author (Hoff Oberlin), made me think of this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zXiClnK8oE

    Feb 10, 2014 at 7:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up