Aaaand…jazz hands!

January 29th, 2014 · 107 comments

Who knew? Just add water to your ramen, and you end up with…ramen.


But leave it alone and you get…a hot ramen dance party!

ramen party

This just in: According to our Seattle submitter, two of his office mates have started fires trying to microwave dry ramen. (NO PARTY FOR YOU!)

related: Four horsemen…and a microwave

FILED UNDER: clip art catastrophe · microwave · office · Seattle · that's a fire hazard

107 responses so far ↓

  • #1   joshua

    Microwave fires; not just for Freshmen Hall any more.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Eliavy

    Hmm… I’d never considered ramen as a kindling alternative to Doritos or newspaper. I might have to try that the next time I go camping.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Robin

      Lays potato chips. A fire fighter may or may not have suggested it for mysterious kitchen fires.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 7:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Lita bang

      Supposedly the foil packets are also very good for starting fires – I remember a story a while back about someone stashing crumpled up packets behind the faceplates of an electrical outlet to start a fire. All that oil really makes for some real fwoosh.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 10:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   L

      Apparently cotton rounds dipped in wax can work really well, too. Or any kind of frito dorito ringo whatevers. It’s the oil.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 2:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   liz

    My kitchen still smells like fire 5 days after my daughter microwaved her ramen and forgot to put the water in.

    It’s horrible. Soot everywhere. Turns out the microwave fan/vent is really great for blowing smoke around.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   H for Toy

      I feel ya, Liz. My daughter also melted her plastic bowl when she cooked her dry ramen. The stench was unbelievable!

      Jan 29, 2014 at 4:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Jami

      Who uses a microwave for ramen? I always put it in a pot on the stove.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 8:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   H for Toy

      So does my sister, Jami. She won’t eat it any other way. Microwave is so much easier though, and most times, workplaces don’t have a stovetop.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 10:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   kermit

      Microwave is faster, but it tastes different than stovetop.

      If you insist on eating freshly made noodles at work, vermicelli (the rice kind or whatever) cook really easily in the bowl once you pour kettle boiled water on them.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 12:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   The Elf

      I always just microwave water and dump the noodles into that bowl. Otherwise the noodles get mushy. I like ‘em al dente.

      Ah, ramen. The savior of many, many broke-ass days.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 7:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.6   Raichu

      Definitely stovetop here. I always boil the water first, too. I’ve never heard of anyone trying to do it without water…how do they think they’re going to soften?

      Jan 30, 2014 at 3:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.7   Jami

      Maybe they think of it like those handheld soups you can microwave? Water included?

      Jan 30, 2014 at 5:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.8   Lythande

      I don’t own a pot or pan, so I only microwave. And I am so broke I eat an unhealthy amount of ramen.

      It’s not like people put it in without water on purpose, though (usually). My brother had the same brain fart once (ruined a bowl, but not the microwave, luckily).

      Jan 30, 2014 at 6:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.9   kermit

      Maybe it’s a preference thing, but if you’re flat broke to the point where you don’t own a pot or pan, eating ramen is still pretty expensive considering that it doesn’t stave off hunger for long. Canned beans and rice are cheaper per serving than ramen. And at least thy have nutritional value and vitamins you need to stay healthy.

      P.S. Loitering around upper middle class apartment buildings during popular moving days can get you some pretty nice stuff for free. I made off with a decent set of mismatched Correlle dishes once and a dining room table/writing desk. An $8 small cast iron skillet is truly a great investment as far as cooking good food goes.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 9:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.10   Amanda

      Ugh, it’s awful. My brother had my mom’s house stinking for days, also. I didn’t know anything could be worse than burnt popcorn.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 9:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   H for Toy

    Dear coworkers, they may not pay us enough to buy real food for lunch, but they do provide the water at no charge.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   kermit

      And air, and gravity to boot you ungrateful rapscallion!

      Jan 30, 2014 at 9:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   smirkette

    I guess these folks weren’t using their noodle.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   My name is Princess!

      Oh they were using their noodle alright but with out lubrication.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 8:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Lita bang

    How hard it is to cook ramen properly? You just have to use your noodle.

    (And with that, I think I need some food.)

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   assiveProgressive

      Smirkette beats you by a minute

      Jan 29, 2014 at 11:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Lita bang

      So smirkette does!

      That’s alright, the more punsters the better.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 12:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Tesselara

      My heart was thramen!

      Jan 30, 2014 at 10:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   assiveProgressive

      Raw men cooking naked ramen start a fire

      Jan 30, 2014 at 10:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   knitchic

    I’m a little sad that this has happened often enough to warrant a sign. How did these poor deprived people manage to get to a time in their lives past adolescence without knowing the salty joy that is ramen? What is the time limit for filling child abuse charges?!

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Judy

    I once forgot to put the water in my cup o noodles, and set the office microwave on fire. It smelled for weeks… I had no idea there were others out there!
    (in my defense, I’ve always boiled the water then poured it over the noodles to cook, never microwaved the cup itself (and never will again!))

    Jan 29, 2014 at 4:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   L

      Same. That’s what kettles are for XD Or I buy the ones that you boil.

      And other than that time I boiled the pot dry…

      Jan 30, 2014 at 1:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Seanette

      Interesting timing coincidence: I had just read this for the first time on the morning of the 30th. Lunchtime on the 30th, and one of my co-workers had neglected to add water to his Cup O’ Noodles. It was caught very quickly, and he was even able to salvage an edible lunch.

      Jan 31, 2014 at 9:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   The Elf

      Life imitates art.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 7:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Tard

    I’m a reasonable guy, but when people burn microwave popcorn in an office setting…. WEEKLY… They. Must. Die.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 5:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Robin

      We had to unofficially ban use of one of the office microwaves because every time anyone used it it caused more burnt popcorn smell to fill half of the building. No matter how much we cleaned it we could not make it stop.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 7:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   H for Toy

      We had the fire department at my last place of employment because of burnt popcorn. That was fun trying to explain.

      Jan 29, 2014 at 10:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   Snicklefritz

      So far in my office, someone burnt a brownie. They just wanted to warm it up, and walked away. How the hell do you walk away from the microwave when you’re only going to warm something up for 10 to 20 seconds? And my all time favorite was when someone heated up their leftover tunafish.

      Thankfully, I now work from home so . It’s a win from some many angles.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 7:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   buni

      I have burned popcorn in the office microwave and it wasn’t because I walked away and forgot it. I stood right there, listening for the popping to slow down. The bag was in the microwave for a whopping 1 minute and 40 seconds and it burned.

      Then I read about all the awful chemicals in that “butter flavoring” and now I no longer eat microwave popcorn. Air-popped corn with real butter melted over it tastes so much better anyway.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 9:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.5   Lythande

      My workplace threw out a microwave because of the burnt popcorn smell. This was a place where microwaves were in high demand, too – it was just better to be a microwave down than deal with that every time.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 6:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.6   Amy in Toronto

      In our office, we refer to microwaved popcorn as Chernobyl-corn. It’s about the same degree of “bad smell” as microwaving tuna or broccoli. Or tuna AND broccoli. Ugh.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 4:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   DS

    Jan 29, 2014 at 5:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Anne Marie

    Hah, a pre-med student did that in the honors dorm I lived in. She may now be treating patients.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 9:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   kermit

      And if she continued to do it, she may have ended up as a patient herself, for the full med student experience.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 12:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Raichu

      I used to live in an honors dorm, and once someone in the kitchenette across from my room (I don’t know who) burnt a cup of Easy Mac and set off the fire alarms. Fortunately, nothing actually caught on fire, and my roommate and I had a good laugh about it (especially later when someone taped a bag of Easy Mac to the kitchenette window)

      Jan 30, 2014 at 3:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   assiveProgressive

    I have never eaten ramen noodles, even though my spouse buys big boxes of it at Aldi. Salt content is ridiculous. Use that, Atlanta, next time it gets icy

    Jan 29, 2014 at 11:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   kermit

      If they didn’t put a ton of salt on them, you’d realize that you’re eating shredded cardboard.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 1:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Lita bang

      Or as my sister calls it (because she likes to jazz it up with a slosh of Kikkoman), cardboard and soy sauce.

      It’s like a four-pronged fork of pure sodium right in the tastebuds. I don’t recommend it.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 1:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Jessi

      The salt content can be controlled by not using the entire flavor packet. Or you can avoid using the packet entirely and get cheap noodles to which you add other things (like eggs).

      Jan 30, 2014 at 4:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   H for Toy

      Eggs, green onion, pieces of cap’n crunch cereal, a mustachioed slice of sausage/bread/poop, and a cotton ball. Nothing says “party in my mouth!” like a soy sauce soaked cotton ball.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 7:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   Roxy Random

      I think that’s supposed to be a rice ball. Love Japanese pop art!

      Jan 30, 2014 at 7:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   The Elf

      Naruto (the food, not the anime). I think it’s supposed to be naruto, which is a kind of fish cake with a scalloped edge and a swirly pattern that sometimes is served in ramen.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 7:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.7   L

      When I was a kid, I used to sneak shots of soy sauce because I’d have such bad salt cravings. No joke. I still think the best part of the pretzel bag is the salt at the bottom. Especially with the whole period thing.

      Also, I buy my ramen at 50 cents a pack. Show me another lunch where you can put down 3 quarters and be reasonably full. Sometimes you do you what you must to eat.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 2:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.8   Raichu

      You pay 50 cents for a pack of ramen??

      How big are they?

      One packet is I think twelve cents at my local grocery? Or 20-something. Not sure which. It’s very, very cheap.

      (Also, yes. Don’t use the whole packet. I use half and that’s plenty of flavor. You could probably get away with even less if you added some actual healthy stuff to it!)

      Jan 30, 2014 at 3:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.9   L

      …I splurge on ramen a little, okay? They’re actually a dollar and change not on sale. Japanese brand. I like those better than the 30 cent ones because they’re a bit spicy.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 3:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.10   Jami

      I eat ramen when I’m sick and can’t stomach anything else.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 5:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Poltergeist

    When life gives you ramen, start a microwave fire.

    When life gives you a microwave fire, make s’mores.

    Jan 29, 2014 at 11:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Smurfette

    We used to know when my sister cooked ramen, because the kitchen was always full of greenish smoke when she was done. Eventually the microwave couldn’t take any more and committed suicide.

    Jan 30, 2014 at 2:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Kellie

    I used to work Saturdays in our office…was pretty laid back, usually about 15 people would be in the whole place on weekends (at the time, our place had about 100 staff on a normal work day).

    Anyway, used to buy those single serving cups of Easy Mac to have for lunch sometimes… So one particular Saturday, I take one, tear off the lid, read the back of the container for a cooking time and pop it in the microwave.

    Few seconds later I think, coffee night be good. But I don’t want to make a whole pot if no one else wants any. So I leave the breakroom and walk up a few aisles of cubicals to see if anyone else would like some.

    Return to the breakroom a couple minutes later and there’s thick grey smoke billowing out of the microwave. Immediate reaction is: WTF!?!?!

    Stop the microwave and pull out the Easy Mac container which is still pouring out smoke…throw it in the sink and turn the water on to extinguish the heat (if wasn’t on fire but was probably close).

    Couple people come in because they notice the smoke smell and I have to explain I forgot to put water in my f-ing EASY Mac. Keyword being: easy….just add water and cook and somehow I missed step one. I started getting shit for this immediately.

    It took a long time for the office to air out and the office building we’re in doesn’t have any windows that open, so doors had to be propped open to get fresh air, which is usually not allowed for security reasons.

    Can’t say why or how I missed step one out of two whole steps…but it took forever to live it down. A couple people also complained of headaches and faintness from the smell that day, so yeah, it was a pretty awkward position to be in.

    Somewhat relieved to hear this has happened to others, actually. Sigh.

    Jan 30, 2014 at 2:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Madrias

      I do understand, actually. Having been, admittedly, rather sleep deprived in the middle of summer (I’m a bit of a gamer, you can only guess why I was tired. Had nothing to do with the 48 hour day I just pulled….) I decided to do pretty much the same thing with Easy Mac.

      Pulled the top off, looked at the cooking time, threw it in the microwave, then looked at the running faucet and pulled that classic “Oh shit” look. Stopped the microwave before, thank goodness, it started to burn, and decided that rather than food, my body was probably craving sleep.

      I’ve also made pop tarts explode in the toaster, and I’m strictly forbidden from cooking anything with tomato in it past 11 PM. Seeing as the last time I did so, I forgot to put a cover over my chili and it exploded.

      It’s all a matter of perspective.

      To someone who just got up, has already had their morning coffee/tea/soda, and is wide awake, someone burning their easy mac is a moment of “How can you fuck up easy mac?”

      To someone who has been up since the morning of the day before, is sleep deprived from a combination of nocturnal activities and noisy neighbors, and is trying to pry their eyes open with toothpicks to stay awake, steps get missed in things and suddenly there’s fire.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 2:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Marie

    These people are the reason there are instructions on things like Pop Tarts. What did they think would come out of the microwave?

    Jan 30, 2014 at 3:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   The Elf

    The Flying Spaghetti Monster gets angry when you burn his noodly appendages. NO BEER AND VOLCANOS FOR YOU!

    I suspect pirates.

    Jan 30, 2014 at 7:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Spamajama

    My best friend’s Fairy Godmother makes 3 goats and 2 chickens a day setting fire to people’s Top Ramen! She was laid off from her job as Mr. T and in the past month has made muffins in her pants!

    ***LURK HERE****

    Jan 30, 2014 at 9:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Tard

      Muffin Top!

      Jan 30, 2014 at 12:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   H for Toy

      I see. It’s a mustachioed slice of pants-muffin.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 1:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   Tesselara

    I have to admit–that sign made me laugh and laugh. I love the guy fleeing in fear from the ramen fire.

    Jan 30, 2014 at 10:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   The Elf

      Yes, as clip art based PANs go, it’s pretty awesome.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 11:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   assiveProgressive

    When microwaves were a new thing and my mother was drunk all the time, she would do things like put a metal mixing bowl full of mashed potatoes in the microwave. The house never burned down but I have memories seared into my brain.

    Jan 30, 2014 at 10:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   buni

      When I was a teenager, our home microwave caught fire. I don’t remember what was cooking inside, but I do remember my dad quickly unplugging it and carrying it outside where he threw it into the backyard. The microwave was huge, and I suspect it was heavy, so I was impressed.

      Recently at work, someone toasted a bagel that had a sticky topping on it that melted into the toaster. I was the next person to attempt to toast something and the sticky mess caught fire. We had to get a new toaster.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 10:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   TKD

      @ass, I remember one Christmas morning in the 70′s when my dad stumbled in drunk, carrying a microwave. Fortunately he never actually used it to cook, or I would have similar memories burned into my brain.

      @buni, and yes, that sucker was HEAVY! I had to move it to 3 different houses after my parents divorced. It was built like a tank. My mother used it well past Y2K. No digital controls there. Just a turn knob timer (up to 15 minuttes) and a start button.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 1:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   Snicklefritz

      You have to say one thing about those 70′s appliances. They were built to last. The microwaves may not have been safe to stand in front of while they were running, but they managed to hang around for a great many years. The new ones – not so much. My last one only lasted a meager 6 years before it was offered up as a sacrifice to the roving metal pickers.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 1:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   L

      My mom (sober, shockingly) once put a juice box in the freezer to make it cold faster for my impatient 5 year old self. She then forgot about it and decided to pop it into the microwave to melt it.

      You know juice boxes used to be lined with foil????

      It didn’t actually kill the microwave, but it had a cold spot for as long as we had it, which was years.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 2:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.5   Tard

      I still have an use an Amana RadarRange, one of the original home microwaves. It’s a fucking tank, but I DON’T stand in front of it when it’s running!

      Jan 30, 2014 at 2:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.6   Raichu

      Once someone in my house put a jar of peanut butter in the microwave to soften, not realizing that the edges of the jar still had little bits of foil from the safety seal on them. It made sounds like an appliance in agony and flashed its lights on and off while little flames danced up from the jar. Scary, but no damage done, thankfully.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 3:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.7   assiveProgressive

      Somebody gave us one of those tank sized microwaves about a dozen years ago, but we were afraid of it and decided not to use it. Raichu, I would love to have seen that.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 11:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.8   buni

      Another person in my office took a paper plate leftover from a birthday party to microwave something. The plate had foil accents. I didn’t get to see the fireworks show, but I heard it was pretty.

      Jan 31, 2014 at 7:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   The Elf

    Anyone else love the title of the post? “Jazz hands!” Well, fire tends to make me enthusiastic, too.

    Jan 30, 2014 at 1:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   assiveProgressive

      The running man has jazz hands. I do love the title. Weirdly though, I think his tie looks like an esophagus or some other noodly digestive thingy.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 11:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   L

    Okay, I have the best and the worst microwave story.

    Worst: My cousin knew how to microwave when he was 2 or so. My aunt decided to get a kitten. One morning, he wakes up and the kitten is cold.

    They had to bury the microwave…

    Best: So, about 15 years later, my cousin is 17 and he’s the youngest. No babies in the house or anything. One day, my aunt decides to make popcorn. She puts the thing into the microwave, and hits 33:33 because that’s what she does. Then she got distracted, upstairs, I think. It was DONE when she finally remembered.

    So she put the microwave out into the yard because the stink is so bad.

    My uncle comes home that night and his immediately response is to go, “FRED??” (Their dog.)

    Jan 30, 2014 at 2:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   The Elf

      Never tell that first story again. It’s nightmarish! The poor kitty! The poor kid! (He didn’t know what he was doing.)

      Jan 31, 2014 at 7:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   Tesselara

      That story is so sad. :(

      Jan 31, 2014 at 11:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.3   Lil'

      So sad! That’s a terrible way for popcorn to go!

      Jan 31, 2014 at 12:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   Lita bang

    The worst I’ve ever done was actually entirely NOT my fault.

    We had this awesome mug that had a strip of gold stuff around the rim. I wanted tea. I was leery of microwaving that mug because hey, gold strip. So I asked my mother (who bought the mug) if it was microwave safe. “Yeah, it’s fine, that’s just paint.”

    …Thankfully I was standing right there watching when the rim started sparking. No damage, except to my nerves…

    Jan 30, 2014 at 2:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Kasaba

    When I first moved to this country, I spent the first week staying in a guesthouse that my new employer had arranged. Upon my arrival, I found the owner was not in, and had left a note on the door, telling me to get the key from the neighbour and make myself at home. It was a little strange being in a stranger’s house on my own, but in an effort to “make myself at home”, I decided to heat a small cup of milk in an ancient looking microwave. I can’t remember what settings I chose, but the microwave kept going and going and going and going, and no button that I pressed would make it stop. I got worried that the owner would be home soon, and eventually I decided to just open the door of the microwave. In every microwave, I’ve ever used, this cuts the power, but not in THIS model. It kept going….with the door open, which freaked me out. A lot. I think I slammed the door shut and unplugged it. And then maybe went to my assigned room and cried a bit.

    Also, my younger brother once microwaved a banana with skin on. Don’t do that.

    Jan 30, 2014 at 4:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   Heely

    I never add water to the Ramen noodles. Instead I just eat them dry, then drink a glass of water. Jump up and down a few times and voila! No microwave needed!

    Jan 30, 2014 at 5:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Lita bang

      I used to do that! Sprinkle the flavor packet over the dry noodles and chow down. Only stopped when I started having dental issues that made it painful to chew dry noodle.

      Jan 30, 2014 at 5:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.2   assiveProgressive

      Choking hazard! And hey, what if they expand in your throat when they mix with saliva? Choking.

      Jan 31, 2014 at 12:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #25.3   VM

      Crunching up the stray particles of dry ramen left in the bag is my appetizer course before the ramen feast.

      Feb 2, 2014 at 7:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   Havingfitz

    My parents had a habit of naming everything in our house. Our microwave was Mikey. When I was 4, my uncle bought Mikey from us. The next day he tried to cook eggs in Mikey: raw eggs, with the shell still on. He blew the door off. It was a very long time before I forgave him for ‘killing’ Mikey.

    Jan 31, 2014 at 8:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   assiveProgressive

      I know what I am going to be searching for on YouTube next time I am bored / microwave disasters

      Jan 31, 2014 at 1:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   H for Toy

      That happens even when the egg is fully cooked, and you try to warm up your homemade egg dye in the microwave.

      Did your kitchen appliances also have a backstory?

      Jan 31, 2014 at 1:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.3   Havingfitz

      Our washing machine, Molly Maytag, had a long history of passive-aggressiveness. Apparently she had been very attached to my father’s first wife, who died. She was unhappy when my father married my mother, and would go out of her way to torment her. She was especially fond of halfway eating my mother’s bras, so that my mother would get into wrestling matches with her trying to free them. Sometimes for no reason she’d just pop up her lid during a spin cycle and send clothing flying merrily across the basement. The Maytag repairman was a frequent visitor at our home, but my mother often expressed the opinion that an exorcist might have been money better spent. Rest in Pieces, Molly Maytag, wherever you are now, and thank you for teaching a wide-eyed little girl the true meaning of Passive Aggressiveness.

      Jan 31, 2014 at 2:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.4   Lita bang

      …Now I’m imagining a washing machine gleefully popping its lid and spitting clothing about. Complete wit gratuitous “ptui!” sound.

      Jan 31, 2014 at 4:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.5   knitchic

      My husband once tried to microwave our little boys shirt since the dryer was on the blink. Unfortunately for the shirt and the microwave there was a metallic design on the shirt. I will say watching my husband run a smoking shirt out of the house was a sight.

      Jan 31, 2014 at 6:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #26.6   Havingfitz

      Lita, I personally thought it was hilarious even if my mother did not. I would stay down in our basement when she was doing the laundry just in case Molly decided to put on a show. Watching my mother frantically trying to catch the wet laundry before it could hit the basement floor: I wish I could post memories to YouTube.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 1:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Kerryn

    My friend did this once! Was a bit tired at lunch time, went to microwave her noodles, forgot the water. The burning smell stunk out the break room and half the store. She was never the brightest!

    Feb 2, 2014 at 1:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   H for Toy

    Happy Groundhog Day! Saw a Facebook post today that made me think of you, Elf.

    “Legend has it, if the groundhog sees some Zinfandel, the next 6 weeks of winter won’t suck as much.”

    Feb 2, 2014 at 7:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   The Elf

      I don’t think it is a coincidence that the ancient cultures of more northern climates have stronger traditions of boozery. “We’re snowed in for six months! The only thing to do is drink and screw!”

      Feb 3, 2014 at 7:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.2   Snicklefritz

      So what are you building?

      Feb 3, 2014 at 9:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.3   kermit

      Not to be a spoilsport, but didn’t the first beer and wine originate in Greece and Italy? It doesn’t get all that cold there during the winters.

      And besides, from an evolutionary perspective, I would think that ancient cultures living in cold climates wouldn’t encourage boozery because it’s a guarantee of freezing to death out in the cold.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 10:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.4   The Elf

      Pretty much every culture had alcohol/drugs of some sort. Escapism seems to be a universal!

      Feb 3, 2014 at 10:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.5   Jami

      It’s more of a “water has things that will kill you” back then. Booze will kill the germs in the water that will kill you. And I understand it wasn’t as high of an alcohol content as it is now a days.

      Go on YouTube sometime and look up the BBC series Horrible Histories. They’ve got some stuff about how dirty the water was in Victorian England that will both entertain and disgust you.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 1:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.6   Snicklefritz

      Technically, the creation of alcohol was a happy accident. Initially, ancient cultures were looking for a way to preserve their crops. Grain became bread, then beer. Grapes and fruits fermented to become wines. The introduction of airborne yeasts are thought to have been naturally introduced into these initial liquids and thus created a rudimentary fermentation.
      Beer and wine later became a substitute for tainted drinking water, and utimately into what we know today.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 1:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   Tard

    Did I mention … GO HAWKS!!

    Feb 3, 2014 at 7:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   The Elf

      I was glad to see them win, but I was hoping for, you know, a football game.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 10:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #29.2   H for Toy

      I felt like I was watching Super Bowl XXVII all over again, minus Bebe’s inspiring play. This time, I didn’t much care who won, but I should’ve known it would be the Seahawks, when I arbitrarily picked the Broncos to cheer for. In the past 23 years, not once have I picked the winning team. You wanna make some guaranteed money next year? Bet against my pick!

      Feb 3, 2014 at 10:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #29.3   Jami

      Football shmootball. I watched The Puppy Bowl!

      Feb 3, 2014 at 1:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #29.4   Tard

      Unless you are a ‘hawks fan, it was a boring SB for sure…. if you ARE a hawks fan, well, this makes up for the ’06 “revenge of the zebras” disasterbowl.

      Feb 3, 2014 at 1:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #29.5   Seanette

      I watched the Kitten Bowl.

      Feb 4, 2014 at 8:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   S4R4H

    Yes, I’m late to the game but Seattle + coworkers so exhausted they forget to add 1 out of 2 ingredients = Start-up!

    Feb 19, 2014 at 2:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Dr Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    If the note-writer is trying to make a point about not allowing ramen to boil over and dry out, technically it’s Ramen + Water + Heat – Water = Fire Risk.

    Apr 17, 2014 at 8:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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