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When your coworkers are frat boys

February 7th, 2014 · 72 comments

Our submitter says that his office in  Phoenix, Arizona has a charming little tradition, namely, “If you’re gone for a few days, your office gets trashed.” (I’m guessing something along these lines.)

It looks like this notewriter was hoping for a reprieve, under the circumstances. So, Sean, listen up!

Just remember I am attending my Grandmother's funeral should you consider decorating (trashing) my office or playing any other mean pranks.

related: If there were every a time to hold your red pen…

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · office · Phoenix

72 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Cal

    Yeah, but after the sixth or seventh time you use that sign, they’re gonna get suspicious.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 12:53 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

  • #2   Nettsche

    So he’s trying to tell them to pick a death or graveyard related theme for messing with his cubicle?

    Feb 7, 2014 at 12:53 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

  • #3   Nikki

    Even supposing that that sign is true… The tone of this sign makes me want to trash his office. And I’m not normally into that kind of thing no matter where the person is.

    Probably just, “I’m away at my grandmother’s funeral.” plus perhaps her obituary for authenticity. Or some random lady’s. Thanks!

    Feb 7, 2014 at 12:58 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #4   Poltergeist

    Trash my office and the next funeral will be yours.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 1:01 pm   rating: 62  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   kermit

      Yeah, it’s crap like this that make some companies buy cubicles that have those clear sliding doors (which I suppose you could lock if you were inventive enough).

      Leave people’s offices alone, pranksters. If you must indulge in pranking, take some lessons from George Clooney.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 1:20 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Poltergeist

      Seriously though, I’m going to have to side with the notewriter (assuming they are telling the truth.) Don’t get me wrong, I have a sense of humor, but when my own grandmother passed away last month, the last thing I wanted to do was go back to work and clean up messes. If I had to clean up a mess that wasn’t part of my job description and was purposely left for me by shit-faced co-workers, it probably would have pushed me over the edge.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 1:22 pm   rating: 76  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Raichu

      agreeing with both of you. super douchey thing to do.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 2:40 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   kermit

      For me, it’s not even the grandma thing, it’s a ‘personal workspace is sacred thing’.

      A computer-savy person may think it’s hilarious to say, make somebody’s computer freeze or hide all their work documents on that computer in a place the will never think to look. But it’s still a mean prank to pull on someone.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 8:55 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   TRT

      I’m given to wondering that, if he/she expects to get their office trashed, are they “one of the gang” that does this? In which case, get as good as you give. Or maybe consider how your victims feel.

      Feb 10, 2014 at 9:12 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #5   Jdaniel

    This is analogous to saying “sic em” in my office.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 1:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #6   The Elf

    I’m all for a bit of fun and games in the office, but if they really do this every time someone goes away for a few days, the message they are sending isn’t “rah, rah, go team!” it’s “We have too much time on our hands. Please fire us.”

    Feb 7, 2014 at 1:09 pm   rating: 122  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Tesselara


      Feb 7, 2014 at 4:04 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #7   rapevine

    Before you go, just shoot all these arseholes in the face.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 1:10 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #8   Roundredhead

    This note left me with a strong desire to do something tasteful with black crepe, lilies and possibly glitter – lots of glitter.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 1:11 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Jami

      So it looks like Mortica Addams has taken up stripping?

      Feb 7, 2014 at 6:15 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   FeRD bang

      If Roundredhead uses découpage, does any appliquéing, or incorporates any papier mâché, Gomez is gonna lose it!

      Feb 7, 2014 at 9:33 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   Snicklefritz

      Well Jami, it is a short line from dancing the tango, to stripping, and from the documentary I watched on the Addams Family, they did fall on hard times for a short while, forcing the family to live out of a budget motel til their family fortune was restored. So perhaps yes, Morticia did resort to stripping as a means to support her family.
      At least I think it was a documentary.

      Feb 10, 2014 at 8:45 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   TKD

      Well played Ferd!

      Feb 11, 2014 at 6:29 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #9   Red Delicious

    I get most people want to have fun and it’s a prime opportunity when someone is away from their desk, but seriously, if you’re that disrespectful as to trash someone’s desk so that they have to clean it up when they come back after a funeral… how disrespectful and douchey are you? It’s pretty up there on the scale. It’s like saying, “Fuck your grief, my entertainment at your expense is far more important.”

    Feb 7, 2014 at 1:23 pm   rating: 84  small thumbs up

  • #10   Lita bang

    Ah. No. Not cool, puerile pranksters. NOT cool.

    (I would stay late and proceed to super-glue tinfoil around the keyboards, monitors and computer towers of the mad decorators, but that’s me and I can be remarkably vengeful.)

    Feb 7, 2014 at 2:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Tesselara

      What does tinfoil do? Aside from keeping out aliens (of course).

      Feb 7, 2014 at 4:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Lita bang

      It’s shiny, of course. :D

      Feb 7, 2014 at 5:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   oooh

      And tears easily, thus making it very tedious to remove when superglued down. :D

      Feb 9, 2014 at 3:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Lita bang

      Yes, exactly. Plus sharp edges!

      Feb 9, 2014 at 10:45 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #11   Josh

    Wow… reading the comments left by people on here… faith in humanity is lost. Every one is just an asshole now-a-days.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 2:15 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Susan

      No, not really. True, I would never have an interest in working in an office where they always trash your office every time you’re gone for a few days. 1. That goes beyond good fun to mean. 2. Get to work, jerks. In seven years, my office has been decorated once and it was all in good fun for my birthday because the felt bad for missing it… because I didn’t tell them when my birthday was.

      As for the note this guy left, personally, when I read it, it had a tone that, to me, came across as kind of b*tchy. Brevity would have been in order here.

      Sure, people here are joking about decorating his office in funeral theme but I doubt anyone would actually do it. So, how about hopping off that high horse, eh?

      Feb 7, 2014 at 4:35 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Robin

      See,I didn’t read it as bitchy, more as “My Nana just died. I don’t have time, nor energy for your shit. Thx.”
      As for brevity I’m not sure how he could have been more concise and to the point.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 5:31 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Lythande

      Even if it is bitchy (which I also don’t see it as, but it could be), his grandma just died and he works with manchildren who would make him clean up a trashed office. Bitchy is not uncalled-for.

      Feb 9, 2014 at 2:02 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Jeff

      But, how about he stops just being bitchy and takes actual action. You know, like changing departments or finding another job? If you work in an environment where you actually have to say, “I’m going to my grandmother’s funeral. Please don’t trash my office. Like you did last month when I was sick, two months before when I was on vacation, to Bob last month when his grandmother died…..” Seriously. If they’re a) spending all of their time trashing offices, clearly there’s not enough work and someone’s going to get the ax and b) if this is their idea of ‘fun’, just imagine the things they’re willing to do to claw their way to the top? All-around, it has to be a pretty dysfunctional place if you have to ask such a thing. So, stop just being a bitch, put your pants on and make change happen.

      Feb 10, 2014 at 10:19 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   rushgirl2112

      Jeff, it must be nice to live in a world where changing departments or finding an equivalent job at equivalent pay somewhere else is such an easy solution to having crappy coworkers to deal with.

      Feb 10, 2014 at 6:24 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   FeRD bang

      I’m just trying to figure out what we did, to destroy Jeff’s faith in humanity! By my count, there were only like 12 comments visible at the time he made his initial one, and I’m not really seeing any sort of thread in those that would lead me to conclude, “Every one is just an [asshole] now-a-days.” (You can say asshole here, Jeff. It’s cool.)

      Feb 11, 2014 at 6:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.7   The Elf

      Totally, FeRD. Not everyone is an asshole now-a-days. I’m only an asshole on alternate Wednesdays.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 7:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.8   Snicklefritz

      I prefer Thursdays myself. My wit is much sharper as the week progresses, and people start to let their guard down after Wednesday, better known as hump day.
      Then, just to change things up, I alternate every other Wednesday with “State the Obvious Day”. It really makes people question your intelligence, thus lulling them into a false sense of superiority, which you can then knock them out of on the following Wednesday.
      If you’re really inclined, you can create entire weeks to State the Obvious. Try it. It’s fun for all ages.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 9:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #11.9   Jeff

      @rushgirl2112, I never said that the notewriter should up and quit or that it would necessarily be easy or quick to find a new department or new job. But if you’re working with a bunch of miserable asshats, chances are, you knew within a week of getting the job. So, keep looking. People love to bitch, bitch, bitch about everything but once you suggest action to actually find happiness, they only find a way to bitch some more. How difficult is it to brush up a resume and write some cover letters? If you hate your job, what do you have to lose? You don’t get a new job? You already didn’t have a new job. Besides, as I said, with a department that dysfunctional, how stable is the notewriter’s job, really? It is statistically easier to get new employment while still employed than it is when you are unemployed. Just one of those weird things where companies prefer to hire people who are currently employed. Then, since you’re still employed, you have a lot more power to turn down jobs you don’t really want and to negotiate pay and benefits when you are considering an offer.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 11:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.10   The Elf

      I love your idea, Snicklefritz. I’m going to start combining “State The Obvious” day with “Naked Cookie Day”. It’s the only logical choice.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 11:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.11   Lita bang

      Elf, can we combine State The Obvious Naked Cookie Day with Lots Of Alcohol Day?

      Feb 11, 2014 at 12:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.12   Poltergeist

      Is that like Naked Bacon Day, minus the burns to my chest and ego?

      Feb 11, 2014 at 12:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.13   Lita bang

      Ego? So THAT’S what you call it.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 1:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.14   Tard

      I’ve quit a job because of the other staff and you know what’s really powerful? TELLING HR in your exit interview why you left.

      It scares the shit out of management, because the only purpose of an exit interview is to use against you in any future legal case (but you didn’t say anything about this in your official exit interview…).

      Now, management has to think of possible legal bad news coming, and they get pissed at the crew left behind… Or so I heard after I did it.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 1:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.15   The Elf

      I believe it would be stating the obvious to declare that naked cookie day is also lots of alcohol day.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 2:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.16   The Elf

      Lita, it’s my understanding that a big ego leads to a swollen head. Bigger target for the bacon grease, I guess?

      Feb 11, 2014 at 2:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.17   Lita bang

      I’m not sure whether I should cringe at that mental image, or just laugh myself sick.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 3:05 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   Raichu

    Wow, some of the people here seem to have real douchebag tendencies. Really? How is this even a little bit okay? And how the hell does Notewriter sound pretentious? They’re trying to avoid what they know would be a huge pain in the ass. Team Notewriter.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 2:45 pm   rating: 47  small thumbs up

  • #13   Spamajama

    My dead grandmother makes 45 Yen a month trashing the offices of people who come to her funerals. She was laid off from her job as an Electric Underpants model, and last year she made enough money to hire a joy-boy.

    ***SPUNK HERE***

    Feb 7, 2014 at 3:32 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

  • #14   Tesselara

    Oh, c’mon Notewriter! Nothing says, “I respect and empathize with your grief” like a shit storm in your office. Sympathy cards are for assholes.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 4:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Tard

      True Dat!

      Feb 7, 2014 at 7:38 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Raichu

      The assholes are the ones who write “happy birthday” on them.

      Feb 10, 2014 at 9:12 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #15   Chu Mi Gu

    Maybe I’m just an asshole, but why would anybody clean up after someone else trashed your office? If you don’t carry in a bunch of personal garbage in the first place, all you have to do is show up early and take your pick of new accommodations. As long as you are friendly with the only two groups that matter (cleaning people and IT) those that trashed it will be the ones inconvenienced.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 4:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   kermit

      For starters, you still have to sift through the garbage to get to your own shit.

      Second of all, even if the IT people are your friends, you can’t decamp to a new work space without permission from your boss – assuming there’s even an empty workspace available. If you could just move, then everybody would get take all the good cubicles by the windows.

      Feb 7, 2014 at 9:00 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Raichu

      I really like your attitude, Chu Mi Gu. Problem is I think there are very few workplaces that will allow you to just up and relocate to another desk (unless you have an awesome boss who lets you temporarily use a conference room or someone while he/she makes your shitty co-workers clean up the mess they made).

      Feb 10, 2014 at 9:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #16   assiveProgressive

    I don’t mind if people once in a while put my kitties and doggies in obscene positions, but to have people go berserk and trash the place would be stupid. I think it’s time for this person to find a new job.

    Feb 7, 2014 at 11:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #17   Dane Zeller

    Notewriter has an odd office environment. Close enough to trash your desk when you’re gone, but not close enough to know you’re gone to your grandmother’s funeral.

    Wait…that interpretation would require your friends to care. Oops!

    Feb 8, 2014 at 10:12 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

  • #18   Tard

    She called me, said we should hang out tonight.
    I asked what makes her thinks I’m not busy on a Saturday night?!

    Gonna push the whole “Just how liberal are you, anyway?” thing.

    Feb 8, 2014 at 9:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   H for Toy

      Were you busy?

      Feb 9, 2014 at 7:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   Snicklefritz

      Here’s some advice Tard – take it or leave it.

      Stop playing games, and just be a decent guy. If you like her, be open and honest. If you don’t, cut her loose. If you’re undecided, well, then just do something thoughtful and nice and see how it plays out.

      Feb 10, 2014 at 8:55 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #18.3   kermit

      +1 to what Snickle said.

      Games are lame unless you know beforehand that you share the same sense of humor and like teasing each other.

      But the whole “how liberal are you, anyway” thing sounds like a really easy way to lose someone – especially since you appear to be feel really strongly about your blasé / conservative stripes.

      Feb 10, 2014 at 9:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #18.4   Tard

      Posts from my iPad don’t show up, had to get to my real PC to post.

      No games, I just needed to find out if she’s a serious lefty (it’s western WA, we have some serious nuts).

      She’s OK and has chilled about the whole ‘cook dinner at home’ date concept. I’m up at 5AM everyday, just don’t do the nightlife thing anymore.

      We both feel too old to ‘date’ but life is meant to be shared with other people. And my dog likes her.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 8:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.5   Snicklefritz

      As long as your dog likes her, what more do you need to know?

      Feb 11, 2014 at 9:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.6   kermit

      Snickle, just wait ’til Tard finds out his dog is a lefty. *ensuing pandemonium*

      Feb 11, 2014 at 11:15 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #18.7   FeRD bang

      We both feel too old to ‘date’ but life is meant to be shared with other people.

      It counts if they’re imaginary, though, right? Or if they’re just random commenters on some website? That still totally counts? Please say yes!

      My imaginary people are sure that you’ll say it counts.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 12:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.8   Tard

      Hmmm… Well, he has no abilities and lots of needs, so I guess he’s the winner of Marxism?

      I actually heard him mutter this in his sleep once:
      “Jeder nach seinen Fähigkeiten, jedem nach seinen Bedürfnissen”

      Get it, ‘mutter’?

      Feb 11, 2014 at 12:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.9   Tard

      Yes, imaginary people count in my book as well…. Because otherwise I’d be somewhat friendless.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 12:56 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.10   kermit

      “No abilities and lots of needs”?

      Just you wait until he craps in all your shoes and then come back and say he has no abilities.

      And when he starts borrowing tactics from the neighborhood cats, like whining to go outside and then back inside and so forth, it will eventually dawn upon you that his abilities are many, indeed.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 2:02 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #18.11   The Elf

      The voices in my head say no to that one, FeRD.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 2:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.12   Tard

      My boy is the exemplar of a flawless, perfect being, especially when it comes to Frisbee skills.

      Feb 11, 2014 at 3:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   Eviction Law Firm

    Eviction Law Firm
    Eviction law firm is a full services law firm focus on corporate, business transactions and litigation

    Feb 9, 2014 at 12:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   H for Toy

      And we also trash each other’s offices!

      Feb 9, 2014 at 7:12 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   Haterade

      And we evict each other, too! It’s a barrel of laughs around here!

      Feb 9, 2014 at 7:23 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   juju_skittles

      Yes, but how much an hour does your dubious casual acquaintance make working from home?

      Feb 9, 2014 at 9:47 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #20   warns

    Was this person just born onto earth? The cardinal rule of human beings (especially ones you know get down with some tomfoolery) is the first thing you tell people not to do is the very first thing they will do.

    That being said, maybe this guy deals with this every time he’s away, which seems like a good time to go to HR, not post signs inviting trouble.

    Feb 10, 2014 at 1:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #21   Offspring22

    I guess it depends on if the note writer partakes in the shenanigans when other people are away or not….

    Feb 11, 2014 at 12:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #22   Zorin

    Sorry but anyone messing with my office while I’m gone would immediately classify the place as a hostile work environment and I would take it up with management.

    I don’t mean to be a spoilsport, but I take my personal spaces seriously and don’t want them disturbed. Once I spend 8+ hours a day in a place I consider it my personal space.

    It sounds like this place has a crappy corporate culture and I’d probably not be happy working there. Resumes would certainly be going out once this happened to me a second time after I make it clear that it’s inappropriate.

    Feb 13, 2014 at 10:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up


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