Lipstick Kisses and Pizza Breath Dreams

February 24th, 2014 · 32 comments

Writes Jean in Minneapolis: “Apparently some cool college girls decided to leave their mark on the wall of this pizza joint, just out of eye shot from the kitchen. The entire hallway is sprinkled with lipstick kisses.”

To: Anyone who puts kissing stains on this wall - We wash this wall with toilet water. Thank you

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss

FILED UNDER: Minneapolis/St. Paul · restaurant · so this is a thing? · that's unsanitary


32 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Madrias

    At least it somewhat guarantees that it won’t happen again…

    Feb 24, 2014 at 3:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      Does the pizza joint serve beer? Popular with the late-night crowd? Then it’ll happen again. Ickiness over toilet water cannot compete with drunkenness.

      Feb 24, 2014 at 7:57 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   sharon

    Because that’s what everyone wants from a restaurant: toilet-tinged walls.

    Feb 24, 2014 at 6:44 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   kermit

      Yeah, they’re really going to spend money disinfecting a wall that people vandalize on a regular basis.

      Feb 24, 2014 at 7:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Lita bang

    Isn’t the whole using-toilet-water-to-remove-lipstick-marks thing an urban legend? I guess we know where they got the idea…

    Feb 24, 2014 at 8:04 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   kermit

      As a person who used to clean fast food bathrooms during my stint in fast food purgatory, no it’s not a legend. I didn’t use toilet water (because eww). But I did clean the walls (the part closest to the baseboards that typically got dirty) with the mop water I had just finished mopping the floor with. If you’re going to treat the place like a pig sty in your drunkenness, don’t expect employees who earn minimum wage to treat it any differently.

      Feb 24, 2014 at 8:19 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   FeRD bang

      That doesn’t mean it’s not an urban legend, though… heck, might even be a true one! For Lita is indeed correct (in her comment #3, which you subsequently gigglebraxed), this one’s been passed around for as long as the Internet has been open to you… riff-raff. (Damn you, AOL!) *fistshake*

      I refer you to http://www.snopes.com/risque/juvenile/lipstick.asp

      Feb 24, 2014 at 8:28 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    •  
    • #3.3   FeRD bang

      OK, I swear to DOG this was a gigglebrax when I started replying to it.

      It must have been, because the only other possible explanation is that it’s too early and I wasn’t paying close enough attention, and it can’t possibly have been that!!

      My most sincere and heartfelt apologies for impugning your good name and your employ of proper comment-response etiquette, dear kermit. I am disappoint. In self.

      Feb 24, 2014 at 8:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   kermit

      I have no idea what you’re talking about or what happened on your end of the Internet.

      But whatever it is, buying me booze (or in the case of this week a few days off from my non-toilet cleaning job) will make up for bruising my ego bits.

      Feb 24, 2014 at 10:19 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   kermit

      And for what it’s worth, I don’t know how that even became a thing. To wash something with toilet water means that you need to take the water out of the toilet. My grossness tolerance is pretty high, but no way in hell would I ever consider taking the water out of the toilet.

      Feb 24, 2014 at 10:22 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   assiveProgressive

      Long ago I was ”counter help” at a fast food place. Taking orders, dishing up food, taking money, mopping the floor and cleaning toilets. As I recall, we never washed the walls, toilet water or otherwise. I must say, that in those days, I never wore gloves and probably didn’t wash my hands much between all these sundry tasks. So, whatever. Why would you put your lips on a wall anywhere???

      Feb 24, 2014 at 10:45 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Lita bang

      Heh. Thank you FeRD, I thought I remembered seeing that on Snopes.

      I’d venture to guess it’s probably one of those ones that started out as an urban legend and then became real because people thought it was awesome and did it. But, I may well be wrong, I haven’t had my caffeine yet.

      *throws bottles of hard lemonade at Kermit, because it’s all she’s got*

      Feb 24, 2014 at 12:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   kermit

      *ow* Hey, that hit my giant head and my tiny girly frog arms can’t catch.

      Feb 24, 2014 at 8:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Lita bang

      I uh. Meant to do that. I mean, uh, no, wait, uh.

      This will take more than hard lemonade, won’t it?

      Feb 25, 2014 at 3:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   The Elf

      You failed to make the rainbow connection, Lita. For shame.

      Feb 25, 2014 at 6:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   Lita bang

      I-I’m so sorry. *weeps profoundly*

      Feb 25, 2014 at 8:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.12   kermit

      *Shovels Lita’s driveway with tiny tiny spoon*

      Feb 25, 2014 at 8:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Lil'

    What a coincidence! I brush my teeth with toilet water!

    Feb 24, 2014 at 8:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   juju_skittles

      My little sister used to. She just didn’t know it. Heh, heh…

      Feb 24, 2014 at 5:24 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Ace of Space

    Don’t you just hope that Miss Kissy wakes up with a horrible cold sore or something?

    What? Am I a bad person?

    Feb 24, 2014 at 9:15 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   underwatervulcan

    Toilet water washes Hep C off the walls? Who knew? Time to get some new sham wows.

    Feb 24, 2014 at 9:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Kasaba

    Can’t say I’ve ever heard the phrase “kissing stains” before. Don’t quite get the ‘thank you’ at the end. They should have just written: “Kissing, stains. Thank you.” or “Kissing stains here. We will treasure them always.” at the top of the plate.

    Feb 24, 2014 at 12:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Kasaba

    I suddenly feel nostalgic for a gig venue near my house, which closed a few years ago. The place was a treasure trove of toilet graffiti.

    Feb 24, 2014 at 12:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      Good toilet graffiti (in a place that encourages that sort of thing) is *the* best way to pass the time on the can.

      Feb 25, 2014 at 8:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   assiveProgressive

      I read PAN on the can at home. Leaves fucking delicious spray all over your comments.

      Feb 25, 2014 at 11:52 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Quite Contrary

    Game, set, match to the Paper Plate.

    Feb 24, 2014 at 2:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   ShadeTail

      …Until one of the kissers reports them to the local health department.

      Feb 27, 2014 at 4:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   kermit

      It’s actually not a health violation. The health inspectors only care that the food prep area and dish cleaning area are cleaned properly.

      Feb 28, 2014 at 8:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   The Beast Among Us

    Doesn’t resemble a “kissing” stain as much as it does another type of pleasure stain.

    Feb 24, 2014 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Jami

    Someday when historians are going through the archives of the internet the way archaeologists sift through dirt for a single shard of pottery they’ll see this picture and this note and wonder how the hell humanity managed to survive so long with so many stupid members.

    Feb 26, 2014 at 1:14 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Dr_Know

    Is it still “washing” if you do it with toilet water? One of life’s existential questions…

    Mar 1, 2014 at 3:13 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Jaylemieux

    “We wash this wall with toilet water.”

    Sure you do.

    Apr 27, 2014 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up