Writes Jack in Seattle: “A friend of ours is a professional tile setter and general handyman. Sometimes he stays over and parks his work van on our block. We found this note on his windshield one morning after Sunday brunch. It’s so typically ‘Seattle’ it’s hard to be offended.”
Meanwhile, Charon noticed that this van-owner in Couer d’Alene, Idaho did get offended, “apparently because he owns a creepy van and people pointed out that it was creepy.”
P.S. Van owner: Maybe “I own a home next to the school” wasn’t the best way to get your point across here?
related: I don’t know you, and this is crazy…but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.
extra credit: the 10 creepiest vans [jalopnik.com]
67 responses so far ↓
#1
Giger
I’m mostly offended at the use of “hella”.
Mar 5, 2014 at 6:12 pm rating: 90
#2
The Beast Among Us
Idaho. Where the men are men unless they drive a creepy van.
Seattle. Where the men are men until it’s their turn at the 4-way stop sign.
Mar 5, 2014 at 7:30 pm rating: 90
#3
uncreative
I assumed the “I own a home next to the school” was an explanation for why the van was so often driving right by the school.
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:02 pm rating: 90
#4
Boo
Obviously she complained that he was driving near the school in this van and that’s why he mentions that his house is in that neighborhood.
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:05 pm rating: 90
#5
Erin
Tell me what ‘typically Seattle’ means in this context? I’m about to be relocated there and I am excited for a whole new world of P-A notes.
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:05 pm rating: 90
#6
Boo
That was not in response to comment #3 – they must have posted while I was typing
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:06 pm rating: 90
#7
Stupid sexy Flanders
Were there clowns in the van??
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:16 pm rating: 90
#8
Red Delicious
So because he likes his van and happens to live near the school someone takes it upon themselves to report him to some group or whatever? That’s like saying because you drive a Hummer I should report you to the EPA. It’s not your freaking deal, leave it be. Team notewriter on this one.
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:18 pm rating: 90
#9
JJ
How is the van drivers issue that people don’t like his van being parked on the road? As long as it is a public road and people are legally allowed to park there then he isn’t doing anything wrong. And if the note writers have seen it there before they must know who the guy is or at least recognize him and know he is not a creepo but a carpentry worker. Hate to break it to people but vans do not necessarily equal creepy. Pedo’s and weirdo’s drive cars and suv’s too.
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:29 pm rating: 90
#10
Cady
It’s “oeu” in Coeur d’Alene. (Just an obnoxious, Idaho-based copy editor passing through.)
Mar 5, 2014 at 8:39 pm rating: 90
#11
Chinchillazilla
If you don’t want people to get creeped out by your windowless van, putting angry messages on it is not going to help.
Mar 5, 2014 at 9:04 pm rating: 90
#12
Sir Puke
Living in suburbia promotes paranoia.
Mar 5, 2014 at 9:16 pm rating: 90
#13
Poltergeist
Everbody knows the difference between a regular van and a pedophile van is shag carpeting.
Mar 5, 2014 at 9:42 pm rating: 90
#14
assiveProgressive
it was the wraparound mirrored sunglasses, the unclothed top and bottom, and the way you waggled your tongue as you drove by my baby stroller, oh, creepy, creepy, creepy old van man.
Mar 5, 2014 at 9:44 pm rating: 90
#15
ramentastic
If I was that handyman I’d just start wearing a hockey mask and standing on the front lawn of this notewriters house … just to make it really creepy. Possibly with weird looking tools.
2nd note: team note writer.
Mar 5, 2014 at 11:39 pm rating: 90
#16
KathT
The grey van ‘message’ is unfortunately a photoshop gem.
The text overlaps the ridge on the van and doesn’t change tone or shade.
Mar 6, 2014 at 12:32 am rating: 90
#17
Joe Bryant
KathT – here’s another photo of the same van from a different angle. I suppose they could BOTH be photoshopped, but I think the balance of probability is that it’s real.
http://www.assaultweb.net/forums/showthread.php?t=144708
Mar 6, 2014 at 4:51 am rating: 90
#18
warns
I think the van PAN is my favorite yet. How high and mighty do you really have to be, writer one. Van pans ftw
.
Mar 6, 2014 at 9:01 am rating: 90
#19
Raichu
Honest question: why do people like the big vans with no windows on the sides/back?
Mar 6, 2014 at 9:36 am rating: 90
#20
K
Back in high school, a friend of mine bought a windowless van like this off some guy he knew. It had a mattress and a ski mask in the back. (Original owner was a skier who would sometimes sleep in the van instead of driving into town.) My friend was working on some rigging for the the theater, and added duct tape and some rope.
Mar 6, 2014 at 5:18 pm rating: 90
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Mar 7, 2014 at 10:14 pm rating: 90
#22
assiveProgressive
My plumber’s mother’s best friend makes $84 an hour typing ransom notes in a windowless brown van down by the river
Mar 7, 2014 at 10:24 pm rating: 90
#23
emily
Whoa. I worked with this guy at the library. He lives next to a school, and some lady walking her dogs called the cops on him because he had a “kidnapper van” parked in front of his house (by the school). He has lived there for years, and always had the same car. The police, per procedure, had to do a complete profile on him because of the complaint and he was pretty understandably upset. That note is not related to the incident either.
Apr 11, 2014 at 12:54 am rating: 90
#24
emily
Also his name is not jack, idk who the heck is wanting to claim credit for this… Jason works at the Hayden lake library in Hayden, Idaho.
Apr 11, 2014 at 12:56 am rating: 90
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Apr 17, 2014 at 4:32 pm rating: 90
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