Good subs, bad subs

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March 19th, 2014 · 71 comments

Short, and if not necessarily sweet, it gets the point across. I think I’d have to give this sign a snarky thumbs up.

related: On jamming

FILED UNDER: music · neighbors · noise · smartass

71 responses so far ↓

#1 Madrias

As someone stuck in the middle apartment, I know this one all too well. I mean, yeah, it’s better than some of the shit I’ve had to deal with, but there’s definitely major suck factor in being kept up past 5 AM because someone wants to boom their gangsta rap.

Yes, it sucks worse when the toilet backs up and floods, or when the dipshits set the microwave on fire, but they’re usually short-lived minor annoyances. Yes, getting evacuated from the house because of said microwave fire at 1 in the morning really sucked, as well as having 3 fire trucks outside for one man to go in and put it out with a fire extinguisher, but it sucked worse when we got the all clear and had to go back to trying to sleep (with an adrenaline rush, mind you), and suddenly BOOM BOOM BUZZ BUZZ BOOM BOOM THUD WHUMP! from downstairs.

Sure, we were all annoyed, but now I couldn’t sleep, and I was still all wound up way too tight.

I think I may have gotten the point across by deciding to hammer on their door and screaming at them to shut that shit off or I’d call the cops again.

Mar 19, 2014 at 11:26 pm rating: 90

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- #1.1 Lab dude
  
  Back in the old days, when I was an apartment dweller, I had a neighbor who was fond of listening to pop music on the local disco station at un-neighborly volumes. Most of the time, I had no problem with this, as I was gone during the day, and he was generally quiet at night. After a long holiday weekend away, my wife and I returned home at about 10 PM on Sunday to hear Debbie Gibson booming through the walls. I gave it a little while to settle down, but at around 11 PM it was still going strong. I knocked on his door to politely request that he turn it down and got no response. I tried again a few minutes later with the same result. I finally called the cops ( I *hate* calling the cops). After knocking politely, then hammering with a night stick, and finally crossing over from my balcony to his and rapping on his sliding door, they let themselves in – to discover that there was no one home. The dude just turned up his tunes and left the house.
  The best part? He came looking for me to tell me he was going to hold me responsible for anything the cops might have damaged or taken while they were inside. I gave him the number for the PD, and told him the desk Sergeant would be happy to discuss anything that might be on his mind…
  He was eventually thrown out, to be replaced by a very nice little old lady who told me not to worry about my music, because she 1) liked knowing that folks were around, and 2) was mostly deaf anyway.
  
  Mar 20, 2014 at 12:22 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 The Elf
  
  Who booms *Debbie Gibson*? “Lost In Your Eyes” isn’t exactly rock-out material.
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 7:49 am rating: 90
- #1.3 duh
  
  Here’s a novel idea: go knock on the door and ask them to turn it down like a sane person.
  
  Mar 31, 2014 at 8:58 am rating: 90
- #1.4 Madrias
  
  Been there, done that. They don’t listen. In fact, the last time I’d actually gone out of my way to be polite and rang the doorbell to ask them to turn their music down, they waited till I was upstairs and turned it up.
  
  Pull your head out of your bum and realize it ain’t a perfect world, pal.
  
  Apr 2, 2014 at 5:13 pm rating: 90
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#2 Lita

So if I drop a submarine out my window and it destroys the neighbor’s flower garden, is it still a good sub? And do I get bonus points if it’s yellow and contains a bunch of British singers?

Mar 20, 2014 at 2:55 am rating: 90

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- #2.1 The Elf
  
  Hey! People live in there! We *all* live in the yellow submarine.
  
  Mar 20, 2014 at 8:34 am rating: 90
- #2.2 Lita
  
  Well, this all hinges on me being able to ~lift~ the yellow submarine, so I think we’re all safe.
  
  Mar 20, 2014 at 9:58 am rating: 90
- #2.3 Fran
  
  You might be able to roll it out Lita.
  
  Mar 20, 2014 at 10:58 am rating: 90
- #2.4 Lita
  
  *starts singing to the tune of Rawhide* Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’, get those subs a-rollin’…
  
  Mar 20, 2014 at 11:41 am rating: 90
- #2.5 Katie
  
  Hey speak for yourself! I do not live in said submarine, nor do I plan to in the future. It seems extremely presumptuous to assume that “we all” live there.
  
  Mar 20, 2014 at 3:16 pm rating: 90
- #2.6 Jami
  
  Be better if you managed to drop it on Beiber instead.
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 12:48 am rating: 90
- #2.7 FeRD
  
  I’m curious how you “roll it out Lita”, and whether that’s a euphemism for something or if Lita is just really fond of eating subs.
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 4:52 am rating: 90
- #2.8 Lita
  
  A little from column A, a little from column B…
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 10:53 am rating: 90
- #2.9 The Elf
  
  Katie, you’re right. Only some live in the Beatles’ Yellow Submarine. Many more of them live next door.
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 11:12 am rating: 90
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#3 TRT

Typhoon club woofer.
I don’t get it…

Mar 20, 2014 at 5:09 am rating: 90

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- #3.1 FeRD
  
  Yes, you do get it. You’re just pretending not to, because you think it’s the humblebrag version of making yourself sound “clever” for noticing that the photo doesn’t actually depict a subwoofer.
  
  To quote Peter Falk in The Princess Bride, “Yes, you’re very smart. Shut up.”
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 4:55 am rating: 90
- #3.2 FeRD
  
  And now that I look around, you’re also wrong! The image depicts (near as I can tell) a Tannoy Mercury mSUB 10, which is in fact a powered subwoofer from roughly 15 years ago.
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 5:38 am rating: 90
- #3.3 TRT
  
  I know that!
  It was more a case that a picture doesn’t paint a thousand words. The creeping iconification of things, like the bizarre buttons you get in Microsoft Office products.
  
  Mar 24, 2014 at 11:17 am rating: 90
- #3.4 TRT
  
  Also… I never said it wasn’t a sub-woofer. So YOU’RE wrong.
  
  Mar 24, 2014 at 11:17 am rating: 90
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#4 The Elf

What about if I have my subwoofers installed in my sub, and I enjoy it while eating a sub?

Mar 20, 2014 at 8:35 am rating: 90

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- #4.1 Lita
  
  Best be careful not to have a sub-par experience.
  
  Mar 20, 2014 at 9:59 am rating: 90
- #4.2 Raichu
  
  subception
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 9:40 am rating: 90
- #4.3 Raichu
  
  subception
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 10:34 am rating: 90
- #4.4 Raichu
  
  rereading thread. do not know why that posted twice. x.x apologies
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 9:39 pm rating: 90
- #4.5 The Elf
  
  But if you were going to post twice, posting “subception” twice was thematically perfect.
  
  Mar 23, 2014 at 8:36 am rating: 90
- #4.6 FeRD
  
  Agreed! You’re cleverer than you know, Raichu. This has turned into a most entertaining comment thread, about a sub par excellence.
  
  (…Somehow not an oxymoron! \o/ )
  
  Mar 24, 2014 at 5:16 am rating: 90
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#5 Tesselara

I’m pretty sure the submarine would also get a thumbs down if it were moved into the building.

Mar 20, 2014 at 12:26 pm rating: 90

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- #5.1 The Elf
  
  So would the Sub-Mariner. Neighbors tend to frown on someone who walks around in just green-scaled undies and gold bracelets. The gossip mill would quickly spread the rumor that he once paired up with Doctor Doom. Sure, he’s a good guy now, but what is he doing in that apartment?
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 7:47 am rating: 90
- #5.2 Belaani
  
  In P-town you wouldn’t even get a second look. Unless, you know, you’ve got a really nice ass.
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 10:35 am rating: 90
- #5.3 FeRD
  
  Google “Marvel Swimsuit Special”. I promise, you will not be disappoint. Totally real thing. Because the 1990s.
  
  (Fun fact: Namor’s “dress-up” suit is a g-string with a clamshell cup!)
  
  Mar 24, 2014 at 5:21 am rating: 90
- #5.4 The Elf
  
  I own that issue, actually. The funnier Swimsuit Special (along the same theme) is the Punisher’s. I can imagine Namor wearing a clamshell. He seems like a less-is-more kind of guy. But I can’t imagine Frank Castle actually wearing a skull-shaped loincloth. He’s a knee-length shorts dude. You can’t conceal a firearm in a loincloth. Well, maybe a derringer, but definitely not a long-arm.
  
  Mar 24, 2014 at 9:39 am rating: 90
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#6 Iwill FindU

Hiding sub sandwiches around the building and waiting for them to rot would still be a thumbs up?

Mar 20, 2014 at 1:32 pm rating: 90

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#7 Banjo

You can tell it wasn’t a Dominatrix who made that sign, or there would be another acceptable sub.

Mar 20, 2014 at 3:47 pm rating: 90

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#8 TGIF

I sang the title like a Zeppelin song.

Mar 20, 2014 at 4:47 pm rating: 90

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- #8.1 The Elf
  
  When my neighbor left home for a brown eyed man,
  Well, I still don’t seem to care.
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 11:09 am rating: 90
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#9 The Beast Among Us

What’s long, hard, round, and full of seamen?

Mar 20, 2014 at 7:39 pm rating: 90

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#10 assiveProgressive

Should some lettuce fall out of your sub, pick it up or feel the PA wrath of Alex.

Mar 20, 2014 at 11:14 pm rating: 90

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#11 assiveProgressive

Another sub getting a thumbs-down is the one in Cleveland who (allegedly) participated in the bullying of a disabled kid in gym class: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2577818/Substitute-gym-teacher-five-students-bullied-developmentally-disabled-14-year-old-boy-threw-volleyballs-head-dragged-feet.html

Mar 20, 2014 at 11:21 pm rating: 90

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#12 sharon

Most apartments (and municipalities) have noise control laws. Typically you’re allowed with no limitations between between 8am and 8pm, and usually later than that.

My point being that if it’s between the hours of permissible noise disturbances according to lease and local laws: you can eat a d*ck, turn it up to 11.

Mar 21, 2014 at 8:42 am rating: 90

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- #12.1 Raichu
  
  Do these laws really not have a limit on the allowed decibel level of permissible noise? Even subwoofers that can give you headaches? Even noises loud enough to cause hearing damage?
  
  I mean, ffs, be a good neighbor. Asking for complete silence would be ludicrous, but playing music so loud it shakes the building for long periods of time is being a dick. Living in an apartment is not ideal for anyone – do your part and expect your neighbors to do theirs to minimize the shittiness for everyone.
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 10:42 am rating: 90
- #12.2 Lita
  
  If they do, I’ve never seen them enforced. The apartment I used to be in had a rather awful family on the floor above…I’m surprised they didn’t get kicked out for the shrieking children, blaring explicit rock music and constant RATTLING OF THE BUILDING at all hours…
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 10:55 am rating: 90
- #12.3 kermit
  
  The good thing about music played that loud is that nobody will hear you shoot the speaker/stereo into smithereens.
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 6:27 pm rating: 90
- #12.4 K
  
  Do a lot of places have laws about when you can legally eat a dick?
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 11:25 pm rating: 90
- #12.5 JoDa
  
  Raichu, it depends on where you live, but most places have ways to deal with excessively loud noise even during the day. Where I live, amplified sound is limited to a certain dB level (I can’t remember what the limit is, but I do recall it being loud but enough of a restriction to prevent hearing damage) during the day and all noise that “would tend to disturb someone in their home” is banned at night. Without firm limits or definitions, if it’s REALLY loud, disturbing the peace may come into play. Short of that but overwhelmingly obnoxious, most leases/condo rules have “peaceful enjoyment” clauses, which prevent you from annoying the neighbors at risk of eviction/fine. A well-crafted peaceful enjoyment rule/clause includes neighbors in other buildings.
  
  Lately it seems that developers have gotten wise and now try to plan apartments/condos so that the adjacent rooms tend to reduce annoyance. An up or down neighbor may still be annoying, but I’m shortly moving into a place where my hallway and bathroom adjoin the neighbor’s kitchen, my kitchen adjoins the neighbor’s kitchen, and all other walls either go outside or to the hallway (top floor, too! :D). Extra walls between me & noise FTW.
  
  But the issue with subwoofers is more the vibration than the noise. We had a guy in the building with a surround-sound system, and his next-door neighbor complained to me about the noise. We went out to see if we could hear it, and we couldn’t even hear it a foot from his (closed, but still) window. We asked him to insulate it, he pulled it away from the wall and put a book underneath it, and peace was restored. His volume was fine, the vibration was killing the neighbors, but easy enough to fix.
  
  Mar 23, 2014 at 6:08 pm rating: 90
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#13 Funny lewis Cave

Ha, this is a funny sign. I have to agree, I can feel the base coming through my house on Saturday nights and it gets a little crazy. I try to laugh it off but when it wakes up the kids it becomes a challenge.

Mar 21, 2014 at 9:10 pm rating: 90

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- #13.1 The Beast Among Us
  
  The submarine base crashes through your house regularly on Saturday nights?
  
  Mar 21, 2014 at 10:14 pm rating: 90
- #13.2 The Elf
  
  All your base are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time.
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 7:40 am rating: 90
- #13.3 Lita
  
  Move zig! For great justice!
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 2:52 pm rating: 90
- #13.4 assiveProgressive
  
  You’re a bunch of naval gazers.
  
  Mar 25, 2014 at 10:57 pm rating: 90
- #13.5 Madrias
  
  We need to invite Crazy Ivan to this party next time.
  
  Mar 26, 2014 at 3:48 am rating: 90
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#14 Kasaba

I’ve come back from holiday a few times, to find my radio alarm on, because I forgot to unplug it before leaving. I always feel bad, when I realise music has been playing day and from the morning after I left until my return. The volume is not such that the neighbours would hear it though, except maybe in the hallway outside my door. Or maybe they can hear it, and they are as (resentfully) tolerant/forgiving of it, as I am of the smell of their cooking regularly flooding my flat through the plumbing. Too many times have I found myself sitting in the bath, dry retching at the smell of, with a draft PA note bubbling away inside me.

Mar 22, 2014 at 9:03 am rating: 90

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- #14.1 -
  
  The smell of what, man?? THE SMELL OF WHAT???
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 8:11 pm rating: 90
- #14.2 Raichu
  
  Sometimes I feel that way about my roommate’s cooking. I doubt it’s bad cooking, but we have very different, almost completely non-overlapping tastes in food, so it’s often unappetizing to me, and it seeps into my room through the vents when she cooks.
  
  Mar 22, 2014 at 9:45 pm rating: 90
- #14.3 Kasaba
  
  Most of my neighbours are from India/Pakistan, so I guess it’s mostly vegetable based curries they are cooking. It gets a bit pungent when four flats in a block of six, are cooking up a spice storm. Someone else, might find the smell very appetising, but it reminds me of my stepmom cooking tripe on occasion, the smell of which used to permeate the whole house in a similar fashion. If the smell from their cooking was limited to our shared hallway, I wouldn’t mind so much, but it’s the fact that I have to smell in my bathroom (and kitchen) that irks me. That said, they are all excellent neighbours in every other respect, so I have yet to complain or seriously think about moving, even though I’m free to do both. And the worst offenders, the Yogi Society moved recently, so that’s good.
  
  Mar 23, 2014 at 11:05 am rating: 90
- #14.4 JoDa
  
  Ah, yeah, I’ve been guilty with the alarm clock, as well. I have a fairly fancy clock/radio/dock with several programmable alarms. I have weekday and weekend alarms set to go off every day, and can set a separate one if I need to get up early for a trip. I inevitably fail to shut the other alarms off to the point that I’ve given a neighbor a set of keys to do it when someone complains (another thing that won’t be a problem in my new place because my bedroom adjoins my own hallway, bath, and the outside :D).
  
  Also, you’re making me glad my neighbors are good cooks. I can *usually* only smell it in the hallway, but it always smells yummy.
  
  Mar 23, 2014 at 6:18 pm rating: 90
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#15 olympiagold

Aw, this was an extremely good post. Taking the time
and actual effort to generate a top notch article… but what can I say… I hesitate a lot and never seem
to get nearly anything done.

Mar 25, 2014 at 12:37 am rating: 90

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#16 Brattus Rattus

I would rather here the sound of bass (love how some people assumes it’s rap music) than someone with a Harley or some other motorcycle. That noise is far more disruptive to my sleep than music.

When you live in close quarters, you have to expect this kind of thing or move to the country and get a hose in the sticks. That’s the way it is. It might suck or be inconvenient, but all of the friggin whining is ridiculous. Deal with it, ask your neighbors to quiet down without a lame “shame sign” like an adult or move.

Mar 25, 2014 at 12:07 pm rating: 90

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- #16.1 kermit
  
  Decibels are decibels. It’s the same thing no matter if it’s freaking Mozart or a jack-hammer.
  
  And most(?) cities do have laws governing acceptable decibel levels, so you should prepare yourself for a hefty fine or eviction if that’s how you feel.
  
  Mar 25, 2014 at 12:35 pm rating: 90
- #16.2 Madrias
  
  I didn’t assume all bass to be rap music. The bass that routinely rattles the windows in my bloody apartment is rap music. There’s the difference.
  
  It could easily be rap, dubstep, hard rock, metal, techno, a loud war movie, or a marching band. Noise is noise, decibels are decibels, and people need to learn that sounds travel further than their own damn ears.
  
  Mar 26, 2014 at 3:52 am rating: 90
- #16.3 The Elf
  
  Werd, Madrias. I love GWAR (RIP, Oderus Urungus), but I wouldn’t want to hear my neighbors blasting it either. Save the ear-shattering decibles for the concerts!
  
  Mar 26, 2014 at 8:01 am rating: 90
- #16.4 JoDa
  
  All music and some movies can generate some serious bass, but it’s not “to be expected” because there are easy fixes with a little insulation, as I mentioned above. Keeping woofers off walls and floors generally solves the problem if you’re keeping your volume to reasonable levels, and if you aren’t, there are rules and laws that you SHOULD be following (and I will make you, if it comes to that).
  
  As for motorcycles, I agree. Where I used to live, my house was only 6′ from the street, and, never fail, at 10 PM every night this guy would get stopped at the red light in a noisy-ass motorcycle with his STEREO BLASTING OVER THE NOISE OF THE BIKE. I grew sick of it rattling my windows, so, seeing that he had an expensive bike and was unlikely to shoot me on sight, one night when this happened went out and attempted to get his attention to inform him of how annoying he was. He couldn’t hear/see me yelling and waving my arms at him from the curb so I walked up and knocked on his helmet. He looked at me stunned and I said “WOULD YOU DO THIS IN *YOUR* NEIGHBORHOOD?” He stuttered a bit and I yelled “THEN STOP DOING IT IN MINE! YOU COME THROUGH HERE AND RATTLE MY WINDOWS EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. USE THE MAIN ROADS INSTEAD OF A RESIDENTIAL STREET, OR I *WILL* CALL THE POLICE!” (and then snapped a picture of his license plate) Never heard him again, thankfully.
  
  Mar 26, 2014 at 8:53 pm rating: 90
- #16.5 Lita
  
  JoDa, come do that to my next-door neighbor who revs his bike, which is sorely in need of a major tune-up and sounds like it might fall apart if anyone even breathes on it, for hours at 3 in the morning? Please? I’ll be very grateful.
  
  Mar 26, 2014 at 9:59 pm rating: 90
- #16.6 assiveProgressive
  
  I saw someone today wearing a T-shirt from the friendly local biker bar which stated, “Loud pipes save lives,” with a picture of a Harley-type bike. Yeah, that was not exactly my sentiment when I was sleeping in my tent at a campground and a person on a Harley decided to get on the road at 6 a.m.
  
  Mar 28, 2014 at 12:02 am rating: 90
- #16.7 The Elf
  
  They do save lives, actually. I didn’t believe that until I replaced the stock pipes on my Harley. (FWIW, I replaced them for efficiency reasons, given that HD still uses air-cooled v-twins. We have some very hot summers and I ride in dense traffic.) The new pipes happened to be louder, but still well under decible limits in my area. Anyway, the number of incidents of someone almost merging into me dropped down to about once every few months instead of 1-2 a month. And when they do, they don’t get as close before they realize I’m there. Not getting rammed = better safety.
  
  That said, don’t be a dick. Good life advice, generally. Don’t be a dick. If you know your bike is loud, be considerate to your neighbors and limit your late night/early morning riding. If you are going to ride during those hours (I do), fire it up and leave immediately. No reving, no idling. I also roll mine out to the driveway first so that the exhaust sound doesn’t reverberate against the house. And stereo blasting? WTF?
  
  Mar 28, 2014 at 6:14 am rating: 90
- #16.8 Kaden
  
  “Loud pipes save lives?”
  
  No, they just make you an asshole. There are plenty of studies out there that show that the drivers ahead of you (the ones most likely to merge into you as you come up next to them) *can’t even hear you* until you’re right on top of them, and then you are more likely to startle them into swerving into you than to keep them from merging into you.
  
  It’s not the pipes, it’s the idiot cagers – I drive a Can-Am Spyder (I have vertigo, so 2 wheels are no longer safe for me), which is *literally* as big as a SmartCar, and people *still* try to merge into me on a regular basis.
  
  Loud pipes don’t stop dumbasses, they just make more of ‘em.
  
  Mar 28, 2014 at 9:13 am rating: 90
- #16.9 The Elf
  
  *shrug* That’s what I thought too, until I replaced my pipes. I’m not going to argue against personal experience, not without a better explanation. Same route, same time, same riding technique, the only thing that changed was my pipes.
  
  And it is the drivers that are BESIDE me that are the dangerous ones. The drivers ahead of me might cut me off, but there’s not much “coming up next to them” in DC rush hour traffic! That implies room on the road! We’re all plodding along. It’s the ones beside me, who think they see a hole and attempt to occupy the space I’m in that are the ones causing the problem. They can hear my pipes because they *are* right on top of me.
  
  Mar 28, 2014 at 9:46 am rating: 90
- #16.10 JoDa
  
  Hey, Elf…DC here, too. I lived on the Hill when that was happening. I’m sure you know how close the homes are to the street, and how old they are, there. It was, in fact, more the stereo that ticked me off than the bike. Sure, it was the pipes rattling my windows, but the fact that *I* could hear his music over that din was what sent me over the edge (in combination with using a residential street instead of the main road no one lived right on 2 blocks away). No consideration.
  
  I suppose I can see how loud pipes might help, but I’d say to then consider where and when you ride. Main roads and highways are fine…residential areas can be more sensitive. 10 PM wasn’t exactly the middle of the night, but it *was* annoying when I was just trying to relax and watch a little TV before bed. Fortunately, that guy’s face and the fact he scrammed said he got it.
  
  Mar 28, 2014 at 7:43 pm rating: 90
- #16.11 The Elf
  
  The stereo is beyond the pale, I agree. And he probably could have had quieter pipes that still did the job. (Though with houses that old and that close to the street, I bet even stock exhaust pipes would rattle the windows). However, did you consider that maybe he lived around there? That it WAS his neighborhood? The fact that it happened *every night* at 10pm implies that it wasn’t just a pleasure cruise.
  
  Mar 29, 2014 at 11:28 am rating: 90
- #16.12 The Beast Among Us
  
  Kaden, there is a reason why the NHTSA demanded noisemaking speakers put into cars like the Toyota Prius and other EV cars – because the noise helps people identify what they are not looking at directly. Loud pipes may piss people off, but those people are aware that something is beside them, and therefore will not try to test the Pauli Exclusion Principle on the highway.
  
  Apr 2, 2014 at 12:10 pm rating: 90
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#17 Kaden

“Loud pipes save lives?”

No, they just make you an asshole. There are plenty of studies out there that show that the drivers ahead of you (the ones most likely to merge into you as you come up next to them) *can’t even hear you* until you’re right on top of them, and then you are more likely to startle them into swerving into you than to keep them from merging into you.

It’s not the pipes, it’s the idiot cagers – I drive a Can-Am Spyder (I have vertigo, so 2 wheels are no longer safe for me), which is *literally* as big as a SmartCar, and people *still* try to merge into me on a regular basis.

Loud pipes don’t stop dumbasses, they just make more of ‘em.

Mar 28, 2014 at 9:12 am rating: 90

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