Taking the trash out with your junk out

March 27th, 2014 · 42 comments

Colette recently caught a glimpse of this note — though not the offender in question — in her U.K. apartment building.

To the man at no. 105: When taking your bins out please cover up. I don't want my kids seeing your genitals. Regards, The Rest of the Building

related: Be more private with yourself

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · garbage · neighbors · Won't somebody think of the children?


42 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Scott C

    I read “REGARDS” as “RECTAROS”, which sounded enough like an anal-themed Pokemon that my spiteful imagination immediately started filling in deatails.

    Mar 27, 2014 at 4:58 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Lita bang

      Heh heh. De tails.

      Mar 27, 2014 at 5:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Poltergeist

      Rectaros is a fairly easy Pokemon to capture. Wild Rectaros love the feeling of Pokeballs slapping against them.

      Mar 28, 2014 at 12:34 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Zairrin

      There’s already an anal-themed Pokemon! What do you think the Roggenrola line is?

      Mar 30, 2014 at 9:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Raichu

      Incorrect. Roggenrola resembles a vulva, not an anus.

      Mar 31, 2014 at 2:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Beatus Mongous

    “I don’t want my kids seeing your genitals, but I’d gladly come by for a demonstration later.”

    Funny how she didn’t point out that SHE didn’t want to see his genitals.

    Mar 27, 2014 at 5:00 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Iwill FindU

      the submitter was a women we have no idea about the sex of the note writer. But who in their right mind walks though their apartment building naked? It’s pretty much the same as walking down the street nude maybe a little less drafty but still public.

      Mar 27, 2014 at 8:21 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   rushgirl2112

      I was once in the car with my children and saw a man walking down the street completely nude. It was very hot and sunny out, and I remember that my primary thought was, “Damn, that’ll make for a nasty sunburn!”

      Mar 27, 2014 at 9:00 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Iwill FindU

      That would make benches very uncomfortable to sit on scorching bench on your bare behind. And were would you go naked? I can’t imagine you would be going out to eat (because that would gross and unsanitary) and what store would let you in nude? Also were would you keep your house key, money or cellphone? Maybe a nude beach but still you need stuff to go to the beach.

      Mar 27, 2014 at 9:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Poltergeist

      The type of man who walks around an apartment building with his hot dog exposed is typically not the type of man people enjoy seeing naked (and this is coming from somebody who truly loves hot dogs.)

      Mar 28, 2014 at 12:22 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   helen-louise

      I doubt he was naked. He probably threw on a dressing gown but neglected to fasten it properly, thus giving any watchers an eyeful.

      Mar 28, 2014 at 1:59 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   The Elf

      I think Helen-Louise nailed it. (Or perhaps notewriter did, later, after the kids were asleep).

      Mar 28, 2014 at 6:18 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   Roto13

      2.3: Nudists wear fanny packs. All of them.

      Mar 28, 2014 at 12:01 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Iwill FindU

      Man I forgot all about fanny packs. Must be the nudists that keep those things around because I haven`t seen one since the early 90`s.

      Mar 28, 2014 at 8:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   Sam

      Iwillfindu: It’s the UK, so my first thought was that he might be on the ground floor and going out into a fenced courtyard to take out the bins, not realising he’s visible from the upper windows.

      Mar 30, 2014 at 9:39 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   pooham

      When I was in high school I was chased up a busy street at night by a naked man who had been hiding behind a guard rail.

      Mar 31, 2014 at 11:20 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   assiveProgressive

    And I thought I was bad for going out in my pajamas. I almost always wash my hands after touching the garbage. I guess I would have to wash my whole body if I went up to the garbage can in the nude. And what if a skunk or a rat or something bit off your privates. I think I have mentioned somewhere else a rat biting off private parts. I could tell you why I am obsessed with this, but you would not believe me.

    Mar 27, 2014 at 11:51 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Beast Among Us

      Whether we believe you or not, you have piqued my interest. Please indulge us with your anecdote.

      Mar 28, 2014 at 12:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Lil'

      I promise to believe you, or at least pretend to believe you. Please tell us. Do you know someone who USED to be a man until he took out the garbage in his cheese-flavored edible underwear?

      Mar 28, 2014 at 2:59 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   assiveProgressive

      Oh, no, what have I started. Sorry, it really wasn’t anything that bizarre. It wasn’t a rat, and it wasn’t a penis it bit. The mammal bit an ankle. But it left me with a fear of little creatures scurrying about, looking for exposed flesh. Cheese-flavored underwear — uh, sounds like a personal ad on craigslist.

      Apr 1, 2014 at 11:14 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   TRT

    The guy was just clearing the trash and the junk out.

    Mar 28, 2014 at 4:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   The Elf

    Now that’s trashy!

    Mar 28, 2014 at 6:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Havingfitz

    Dear guy in 105: please move in next door to me. I need some cheap thrills in my life.

    Mar 28, 2014 at 11:45 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   warns

    alright, well that one’s reasonable. and funny, I would’ve been the one to add the LOL were this in my building.

    Mar 28, 2014 at 12:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Jami

    Instead of mentioning children the note should’ve said “No one wants to see your unwashed genitalia.” Cause people always go off about how “annoying” the “think of the children” people are, but no one will argue about not wanting to see someone’s dirty dick.

    (Granted, the guy might have bathed before taking the trash out, but I’d assume anyone taking out trash first thing in the morning hasn’t jumped into the shower yet.)

    Mar 28, 2014 at 3:35 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   kermit

      If you’re close enough to tell whether the nudist has washed his junk, you probably had a hand in the unwashed state of affairs.

      Mar 30, 2014 at 11:22 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Raichu

      I think this is actually one of the few legitimate applications of “think of the children”.

      Mar 31, 2014 at 2:22 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   kermit

      Nah, children should have a realistic expectation of what their bodies are going to turn into as they get older.

      Magazines and movies aren’t going to stop Photoshopping people to death. And going to nude beaches is still frowned upon, due screwed up American attitudes about sex and body image.

      In short, let the damn children see his paunchy and shrivelled behind. If it won’t turn them into body builders, at least it will put them off sex until they’re out of your house and in college.

      Mar 31, 2014 at 2:39 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Beatus Mongous

    Hence why I assumed it was a woman instead of a man, as a man would most likely say, “Dude, cover your junk because no one wants to see it.”

    Mar 28, 2014 at 5:21 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Raichu

      Nah, fathers can also be really protective of their kids’ innocence. It could be either.

      Mar 31, 2014 at 2:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Beatus Mongous

      I’m protective of my kids’ innocence, but I go about it by saying, “Dude, cover your junk because no one wants to see it.”

      Although I do like “Put the mouse back in the house.”

      Mar 31, 2014 at 7:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   Raichu

      well, you know, everyone talks differently and all that…

      Apr 4, 2014 at 12:07 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   TGIF

    Friends: Fhoebe’s boyfriend’s shorts. Hilarious!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYJVo9v6MNI

    Mar 28, 2014 at 5:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Kasaba

    There’s probably very little danger of the note writer’s kids seeing the man in No 105′s genitals, because they’re all too busy on their phones, looking at genitals.

    Mar 29, 2014 at 2:33 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Chinchillazilla

      Unless someone takes a picture of the man in No 105 while he’s taking out the trash and posts it on reddit. Then the kids will definitely see it.

      Mar 29, 2014 at 10:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   FeRD bang

      I know, right? Kids today, with their Twittering and their Tweetering and their Twiddling! Don’t even get me started on the Friendbooking and the FaceSpacing and the Giggle-Plus!

      Oh, and make sure they get off my lawn!

      Apr 2, 2014 at 6:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   kermit

      It’s GiggleMinus, now.

      And you should be grateful for kids on your lawn. They are only scouring the junk your upstairs neighbors throw – and which you won’t sell on Etsy like I’ve been telling ya.

      Apr 3, 2014 at 12:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   FeRD bang

      Regretsy is dead, kermit… DEAAAAAD! There’s no joy left in the homemade crapft market! :cry:

      Apr 4, 2014 at 2:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   kermit

      I noticed that it’s dead. However the stuff is still for sale on Etsy, Ebay, etc. So there is hope for your junk, after all!

      Apr 4, 2014 at 3:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Dolly

    I have been known to take the trash out barely clothed. I have clothes on but like a tank top with no bra or a t shirt and panties but no pants….no one can really see behind our house but the neighbors on either side of us and I guess if they are looking they might get a show.

    Apr 3, 2014 at 11:27 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   FeRD bang

      Pics or it didn’t happen!

      Apr 4, 2014 at 2:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Dr Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    I want evidence that the note-writer canvassed the building to confirm that everyone agreed before he/she spoke on their behalf. Some people might have wanted to see the man at 105′s genitals.

    Apr 17, 2014 at 7:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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