Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over?
related: A bitter butter battle
You may work here, but you’re not my mother.
April 14th, 2014 · 106 comments
FILED UNDER: food · non-apology apology · office · St. Louis
106 responses so far ↓
#1
meri
I’m with Joan. Although, I’d have left a note with way too many details about my having thrown them away. It would have sounded more aggressive than passive… and then everyone in the office would hate me.
Apr 14, 2014 at 2:22 pm rating: 19
#2
Red Delicious
Seriously? Don’t take it upon yourself to “save” someone from something. It’s not your freaking business, especially if you’re not the boss in this situation. If you owned the firm, and therefore the kitchen, maybe it would be your business. But since it’s not, just walk the hell away. Shouldn’t have even looked in the bag in the first place, you nosy bitch.
Apr 14, 2014 at 2:28 pm rating: 73
#3
underwatervulcan
Joan – She looked at someone else’s sack and decided that the early morning triple cock block was the way to go. Sounds like menopause continues to make bitches into dumb bitches. File that charitable contribution under form DZ 2.
Apr 14, 2014 at 2:45 pm rating: 7
#4
KitsuneBi
Thanks for saving my life, mom! Starvation is AWESOME!!
Apr 14, 2014 at 2:57 pm rating: 12
#5
Maria
Yeah, that’s ridiculous. What kind of person throws away someone else’s food because it’s been in the fridge for 8 hours?
I also don’t get why someone would steal food…
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:05 pm rating: 4
#6
uncreative
I don’t want random coworkers deciding which of my food is safe for me to eat. Treat your co-workers with respect and as co-workers. They aren’t your kids, even if you are a mother. Even if they are your kids and you work with them, if they are adults now, they get to decide for themselves what to eat.
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:05 pm rating: 38
#7
Havingfitz
Joan was just too embarrassed to say what she really did with the hotdogs and why they were all slimy. Trust me, food theft victim. She really did do you a favor here.
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:18 pm rating: 25
#8
pooham
If Joan was cleaning the kitchen and came across that and threw it out it would be OK. But she was just being mommy to someone who doesn’t need Mommy Joan so may I suggest another PAN directed at Joan, minus the passive?
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:20 pm rating: 8
#9
Kris
I’m sorry, Joan, but
(1) Packaged hot dogs ALWAYS look slimy – the only way to un-slime them is to slap them on the grill and char them, and
(2) Does Mommy Joan have any idea how many preservatives are in those things? They’d be safe sitting on the counter all week.
Here’s some MOM advice – if doesn’t belong to you, keep your grubby mitts off of it.
Sheesh.
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:43 pm rating: 47
#10
Laura
The mom in me only pulls rank with my kids and/or at home. My co-workers are on their own when it comes to food and the breakroom. I have only two children I don’t want any more.
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:43 pm rating: 20
#11
Lab dude
I think I would have put the bag in the fridge, with a note on it: “I found these on the counter at 6:30 this morning – no idea how long they were sitting out but they looked pretty skanky. Its your food, dude – you get to make the call…”
If I found these at my mom’s house – well, they’d have disappeared pretty quickly, and if she ever missed them, I’d have explained. She was never real good at keeping food fresh to begin with, and she’s 80 now, so she sometimes does need a mom for things like this. But at work – like I said, not my call.
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:48 pm rating: 41
#12
Dan
Joan,
You hot dog thieving sow. I’m going to HR. Keep your grubby paws off my eats.
Me
P.S. I pooped in your file drawer.
Apr 14, 2014 at 3:50 pm rating: 16
#13
Lita
*glares at her browser for sending her to the wrong post previously*
And yet, the hot dogs still contain more assholes than Joan does.
Apr 14, 2014 at 5:23 pm rating: 11
#14
Raichu
Mind your own beeswax, Joan. It’s not your responsibility to save people from themselves. The “mom in you” needs to stop “pulling rank” on people who aren’t your kids.
The only way this would be ok is if the hotdogs were so rancid they were stinking up the room – but clearly they weren’t, since she had to look in someone’s bag (which she shouldn’t have done) to know they were there.
Team note-writer.
Apr 14, 2014 at 6:16 pm rating: 15
#15
CdnGingerGirl
I also like the whole subtle corporate hero thing Joan has going on: “I saved the company aggravation and money by preventing one of its very valuable employees from missing work and thereby increasing everyone else’s workloads!”
Honestly. Team Note Writer!
Apr 14, 2014 at 6:53 pm rating: 19
#16
yeahman
She should have put the peanut butter and Nutella in the fridge too. They are accountants, not microbiologists so I suppose they are not aware of aflotoxins and the possibility of liver cancer. And Joan, an accountant (I presume) comes into the kitchen at 6:30 am and calculates that the weenies have been out of the fridge for 8 hours? Hmm… So someone took them out at 2 am? Is this a 24 hour accounting firm? Please tell us where this place is so we do not let them do our taxes.
Apr 14, 2014 at 7:55 pm rating: 5
#17
yeahman
Oops…my bad on the math. Still, 1030 pm? And actually improperly stored peanut butter can become contaminated by a type of mold that produces alfotoxins, which can cause liver cancer in humans. Nutella as well.
Apr 14, 2014 at 9:55 pm rating: 3
#18
yeahman
Sorry..aflatoxins…
Apr 14, 2014 at 10:01 pm rating: 1
#19
The Elf
Anyone else profoundly disturbed by the hotdog drawing with the “help me” note?
Apr 15, 2014 at 7:30 am rating: 8
#20
Lil'
I can’t stand office people like Joan…self-appointed resident experts on all things. Her only two choices were not to throw it away or put it in the fridge and act surprised when he gets sick. She also had to option of leaving it alone. Maybe her “calculations” were wrong. Maybe he was just getting in too and dropped the bag on the counter for a few minutes while he jetted to the restroom. Either way, whether it’s old or not, leave it alone. If it’s in the way, move the bag, but don’t decide for someone else that their lunch is no good. “Inquisitive” and “nosy” are not interchangeable.
Apr 15, 2014 at 8:18 am rating: 17
#21
Kwyjor
“all kinda slimy and limp looking”
That just means they’re at the peak of flavor.
(But not really.)
Apr 15, 2014 at 10:55 am rating: 6
#22
the cat
I’m with all the haters of self appointed break room police. We had one once in our office who decided to save us all from ourselves one evening and tossed everything in the fridge because she believed that if it was within a week of expiration date it was bad. I yelled at her for tossing the dressing I had been planning to use on the salad I brought that day but not nearly as loud as the CEO who had no lunch at all because she tossed all his yoghurts and apple juice boxes. She had no idea why we were all mad. she left about a month later under pressure from still irate CEO. We have no fridge police since. As office manager I could be, but I think we are all grown ups here and can decide when our food needs to be tossed and I refuse to interfere to any greater extent than asking once a year with lots of warning for everyone to clear their stuff out so I can wash the fridge down.
Apr 15, 2014 at 3:30 pm rating: 13
#23
mutzali
My company has only about 20 employees. Most of our production force is Vietnamese. When the refrigerator got really smelly, the boss asked everyone to clean out their old stuff (like bags of vegetables gone liquid and/or fuzzy) and mentioned “all the unrecognizable stuff”. The next morning, most of the dissolving crap was still there, but all the American condiments (mustard, mayonnaise, catsup, horseradish) had been thrown out because “we didn’t know what that was”.
Apr 15, 2014 at 4:36 pm rating: 13
#24
1deprogrammed1
As a general rule, bags don’t magically appear in the office, so it wasn’t lost. There was no need to peek inside unless you were trying to decide if you wanted what was there. Nice try lady, but no hot dog. Next time the owner should plant a dye pack that only he can disarm.
Apr 15, 2014 at 5:35 pm rating: 8
#25
So
I’d be inclined to leave a bag on the side with a raw cow heart or something like that on the side for Joan to find.
Don’t go looking in people’s bags, bitch.
Apr 16, 2014 at 5:24 am rating: 3
#26
Scooter
You know what else is stealing? When you use an artists work without credit. That hotdog drawing is by a great artist named Scott Johnson.
Apr 16, 2014 at 6:35 am rating: 3
#27
assiveProgressive
It figures someone named Johnson would do a great rendering of a wiener
Apr 16, 2014 at 4:20 pm rating: 8
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