Alexandria in Australia says that the card she got from her parents on her 18th birthday (below) “is a pretty good summary of my formative years.”
Dear Alexandra,
I think this card expresses the fact that, although we both love you very much we find it hard to say, just like you do. All the best for your adulthood.
Dad
With bells on! Love Mum
related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have.
52 responses so far ↓
#1
Kay A. Ess
Not passive aggressive; just sad.
May 19, 2014 at 9:01 pm rating: 90
#2
Red Delicious
It’s like the parental equivalent of a brofist hug, that awkward thing guys do when they’re too macho to just hug like normal people.
May 19, 2014 at 9:15 pm rating: 90
#3
Poltergeist
Birthday cards are always the perfect place to point out your child’s flaws and make excuses for your own.
May 19, 2014 at 10:42 pm rating: 90
#4
Lita
That is a bit sad, although I suppose I can see both sides of it. Some people aren’t real big on the verbal thing and just choose to show it in their actions instead.
And sometimes they’re just jerks, which is usually the case when this kind of thing ends up on PAN.
May 20, 2014 at 12:22 am rating: 90
#5
Bec
I grew up in a home like this. This behaviour does not have to be passed from one generation to the next. My husband and I make sure we tell my sons how much we love them everyday. It is how we start each day and how we end each day. It is not a weakness to love and be loved.
May 20, 2014 at 12:28 am rating: 90
#6
@coffndrop
i’ll love you, alex.
May 20, 2014 at 4:52 am rating: 90
#7
Belaani
We love you, Honey. Now get out. By tonight.
May 20, 2014 at 5:48 am rating: 90
#8
F13
Sorry, I don’t understand how this note has a “Get out of the house!” message. The dad is a bit awkward, so what?
May 20, 2014 at 9:15 am rating: 90
#9
The Beast Among Us
With bells on! And that’s it! Wearing nothing but bells! How’s that for a strange mental image?
May 20, 2014 at 11:52 am rating: 90
#10
Quite Contrary
How does “Have a great day” express the fact that they love her very much?
May 20, 2014 at 12:22 pm rating: 90
#11
A Unit
Is it weird that I find this a little sweet? I mean, definitely awkward and a bit sad, but a sweet attempt?
Though I might not feel that way if they were my parents…
May 20, 2014 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
#12
lorfdof
This is the least passive agressive passive agressive note so far
May 20, 2014 at 3:23 pm rating: 90
#13
kaetra
My mom bought me luggage for my 18th. It was a less than subtle hint. GTFO! hehe
May 20, 2014 at 6:57 pm rating: 90
#14
Ann
A birthday card is probably not the best place to point out a flaw, BUT… this dad sounds awkward but well-meaning. It’s both sweet and face-palm-inducing.
May 21, 2014 at 12:33 am rating: 90
#15
assiveProgressive
Their handwriting sucks. I thought the note was about “expressing a fart.” Have a nice day.
May 21, 2014 at 12:43 am rating: 90
#16
Sam
This is a lovely note. I’m a bit shocked that in an American context it seems to be considered mean or passive-aggressive or to have a ‘get out’ vibe.
May 21, 2014 at 4:51 pm rating: 90
#17
Zero Our Hero
It’s as cultural as it gets. For example, African parents DO NOT tell their children they love them. They’d be like: “Why else do you think I feed and support you?” Jokes aside, My parents never did while I was growing up. My mom said it once when I told her and if my father ever said it to Amy of his kids he’d probably pop an aneurysm. To my future kids, read this post. it will explain a lot.
May 24, 2014 at 8:33 am rating: 90
#18
Nim
Nothing PA about this note to me, honestly. And here people don’t say ‘I love you’ every other minute. I’ll admit it bothers me that in some cultures, you basically say I love you before hanging up the phone, like it’s ‘bye’.. wow.. To me, it is a strong phrase that shouldn’t be overused and lose meaning.. Though my parents never said it and that isn’t so good either (but I know why they don’t). I find it hard to say but a good friend said it to me and I started saying it back, when I had the courage. For me it holds weight.
Jun 1, 2014 at 5:14 pm rating: 90
#19
SomethingDuck
Cultural, definitely. I read this and went “aww!” and I didn’t get at all what the comments were about! Have figured it out now. But with a more or less British background, I would not hear “I love you” much, and I don’t think that’s particularly unusual here.
Oct 12, 2014 at 7:51 pm rating: 90
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