A bit of a spat over the pitter-patter of little feet

May 21st, 2014 · 165 comments

Holly in Glendale, Arizona says her one-year-old daughter just learned how to walk, and (as toddlers do)  enjoys toddling around the apartment. Holly and her husband have tried explaining this to the downstairs neighbors, to no avail. “They bang on the ceiling, which scares the living sh*t out of my little girl,” Holly says, and have called the cops  — “whose response was to apologize for disturbing us.”

Now, Holly says, “As soon as my one-year-old walks into the kitchen, the woman who lives below us will immediately run up our stairs and throw herself against our door, screaming and threatening us.”

I feel you, Holly, but maybe those “my first stilettos” are a bit much?

Don't know what the hell you are doing up there all night but you do have neighbors whom live below you. The noise, stomping, and banging has got to stop. If it doesn't a complaint will be made and if it still continues the police. Please be courteous.

related: Please walk your elephant quietly!

extra credit: A baby elephant takes its first steps [youtube]

FILED UNDER: Arizona · kids · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats

165 responses so far ↓

  • #1   EmptyJay

    Wow. I would record one of these incidents and take that to the police. They seem to be very eager to involve the cops, so why not help them along?

    If they’re threatening and disturbing you, there’s got to be something that can be done to bring that nonsense to an end.

    May 21, 2014 at 1:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Cady

    Good lord, these people must be the auditory version of The Princess and the Pea! Obviously toddlers aren’t great at modulating their footfalls, but the kid probably only weighs about 25 pounds, and surely she’s not running around “all night.” But since the neighbors are clearly psychotic, I recommend Holly go by her local discount store and buy some rugs and rug pads.

    May 21, 2014 at 1:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Jami

      Remember that episode of Friends where the downstairs neighbor either died or moved and Chandler found that the footsteps up above sounded like a herd of elephants practicing their tap dancing routine? It could be like that for the neighbors. Carpet and slippers would help.

      The only reason I’m kinda on the NW’s side is because of my own experiences in my bedroom. People think I should “just let it go” when a neighborhood kid is shrieking at ear drum piercing levels for six hours straight while bouncing in a bouncy house (I swear, the neighbors rent a bouncy house one more time this year I’m buying a BB gun and practicing until I have Hawkeye-like aim so I can pop that damn thing) or drunks that sound like 12 year olds walk down the street at 2 am, but they can’t hear it the way I do from a 2nd story bedroom that faces the street. It’s enough to try the patience of Pope Francis!

      May 21, 2014 at 1:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   FeRD bang

      You have No. Idea. how some people can be about “noise”. One particularly short-lived apartment in Connecticut, many years (and several boyfriends) ago, we moved in to the renovated attic of a 4-story house and quickly found out that so much as walking quietly across the floor after 10pm was “disturbing” the downstairs neighbor, because the building was old, and wooden-frame, and the floorboards creaked.

      Worst part, the downstairs neighbor was the landlord, who’d neglected to specify in the rental listing that he was looking for tenants who observed a strict “mummified in bed by 10pm” curfew! (I mean, seriously. They’re your fucking floors, asshole! You don’t like the creaking? Fix ‘em!)

      May 21, 2014 at 2:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   The Beast Among Us

      Jami, the guy died in the episode.

      I was repeatedly reported by a downstairs neighbor for making too much noise. I often scratched my head about it, though, because he’d complain that I was walking around when I knew I had been sleeping. One night, my neighbor complained that I was stomping all over the place during all hours of the night. Must have been either a ghost or a thief, though, because I was out of town during the night about which the neighbor complained. I even had a hotel receipt to prove it.

      After I moved, the tenant that took my place called me and told me his downstairs neighbor was a psycho. I told him that I warned him about the neighbor, but he didn’t think it was that bad.

      May 21, 2014 at 2:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   nikki

      Even kid footsteps can be surprisingly loud depending on where you live… I live in a 100-year-old house subdivided into apartments (so obviously the insulation between apartments isn’t great). My upstairs neighbor has a two-year-old son who lives with him part time and it is insane how loud it sounds when he’s running around the apartment. If I didn’t know any better I would think it was a 200 lb man running sprints. Of course, I keep in mind that its just a kid and go about my day, since he’s usually in bed by eight. Mornings can be a little painful since he wakes up early, but we have a fan that we turn on to provide some white noise.

      May 21, 2014 at 4:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   kermit

      With the shitty (new) construction, it’s entirely possible that they are both right.

      I have seen/lived in buildings with hollow front doors (so you could hear everything going on in the hallway) and buildings where the insulation was practically non-existent. You could hear the pipes going every.single.time. somebody beside you, above/below you used the toilet, shower or turned on the tap.

      In other words, this is really a problem of shitty developers/landlords, not absurdly sensitive or noisy people.

      May 21, 2014 at 10:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   wolfshades bang

      I’m with Jami on this one. Some housing is so poorly made that you can hear every little thing downstairs. What may seem like cute little pitter-patter to the parents may come across like stomping elephants downstairs.

      I have the same problem with my upstairs neighbours, but understand the dynamics a little better than our letter-writer in this column, so haven’t bothered them about it. It *is* annoying, however.

      May 22, 2014 at 6:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   FeatherBlade

      “I have seen/lived in buildings with hollow front doors (so you could hear everything going on in the hallway) and buildings where the insulation was practically non-existent. You could hear the pipes going every.single.time. somebody beside you, above/below you used the toilet, shower or turned on the tap.”

      I’m… pretty sure that’s a violation of building code in most jurisdictions.

      For fireproofing purposes, if nothing else.

      May 22, 2014 at 3:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   JoDa

      Yes, often times normal walking/talking/etc. is louder than it would appear, particularly when hardwood floors are involved. If you’re not going to rent the top-floor unit, you just have to get over it unless it’s really egregious. When I live below people with hardwood floors, I ask them for two simple things: please no heels between Midnight and 7 AM, and please take large, hard bones away from dogs during the same hours. Other than that, walking in normal shoes or normal conversation/entertainment is just something you have to learn to live with. Because I’m very nice about my request (in person, with lots of “I’m sorry I have to ask for this, but”) and don’t throw hissies when they occasionally forget or have a few extra people over on a weekend, they’re usually happy to comply.

      May 22, 2014 at 5:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   FeRD bang

    Have a Holly, jolly NeighborWar!

    Unfortunately, these things are only ever resolved by one party or the other moving. If the floors/ceilings are that thin, then unless wall-to-wall carpeting is an option for Holly (even into the kitchen), nothing is going to change the downstairsers’ minds about what constitutes an acceptable level of Noise From Above™, and obviously nothing is going to make a toddler toddle more daintily. No fun at all.

    (I’m assuming that these complaints are coming regardless of the hour, and that Holly isn’t letting her toddler wander around on bare floors at 4am or anything. Because, that would be kind of rude. Kids are stompy.)

    May 21, 2014 at 1:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Jami

    Maybe you should consider encouraging your daughter to wear slippers to soften her footsteps. You have no idea what it sounds like in their apartment. It might sound like you’re all having a clog dancing party to them.

    Also really thick carpet might help.

    May 21, 2014 at 1:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   wolfshades bang


      May 22, 2014 at 6:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   juniper

      yeah – I’m suspicious of this one because they say ‘all night’ – which suggests this isn’t just about the toddler. To just assume that the people are making it up is just rude.

      May 23, 2014 at 6:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   L

      It’s actually best for growing feet to be barefoot as much as possible.

      May 25, 2014 at 3:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Rachel

    If the kid is so bloody annoying to them I am puzzled why the adults aren’t annoying also. They may not run inside, but they have many times more mass than some child who can’t more than 25 pounds or so.

    May 21, 2014 at 1:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   rushgirl2112

      Because most adults have learned to walk without stomping. Young children, especially toddlers, have not. They pound the heels of their feet on the floor. Most adults do not run through their apartments.

      May 22, 2014 at 7:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   juniper

      I bet they are. Notice is says nothing specific about toddlers or little steps in the note. I think the note provider is simply adding the toddler stuff in any effort to make them some more sympathetic.

      May 23, 2014 at 7:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   Iwill FindU

      Yeah but if they’ve been neighbors for any length of time, and this crazyness has just started, it makes sense to look back and ask yourself what’s different now then say 6 months ago? In this case the baby who 6 months ago was pretty much just a vocal bobble head has started walking. And with walking comes falling down, dropping toys, and stomping feet until they get to stage were they’re a little more graceful.
      Does it suck to live under? Sure it does, but this is just a stage that they will outgrow it and if it wasn’t a problem before it will get back to that point again. So I don’t think it warrants waging war with what was an ok neighbor.

      May 27, 2014 at 1:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Stell

    She gets bonus obnoxious points for misusing whom.

    May 21, 2014 at 1:55 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   pooham

      But she thinks it makes her sound smart.

      May 22, 2014 at 12:16 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #7   Jessica

    Sorry Holly, but I’m on team neighbor. I have an upstairs neighbor who is generally pretty quiet. I can hear here walking if I’m paying attention but I never am so I never do. One weekend she had a guest brought along her kid daughter. It sounded like a heard of buffalo thundering back and forth all weekend. It was just a few days so no big deal but if I had to live like that all the time, I’d be up there yelling too.

    May 21, 2014 at 1:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Poltergeist

      Other than causing tension with your neighbors and scaring the shit out of a baby, what exactly would your yelling accomplish? We’re talking about a one year old here. Short of never allowing her to walk, what do you want the parents to do? Even the police sided with the parents.

      This reminds me of the time I saw a very elderly man walking across the street. He started crossing when he had the right-of-way, but he was so slow that the light changed before he could make it across. And what did the drivers do? They honked like mad at him. What the hell did they expect him to do – kick off his high heels and sprint? Yes, it was an unfortunate and dangerous situation, but honking at him was completely pointless.

      Making noise at an annoyance doesn’t always accomplish anything…except mabe make you look like a lunatic.

      May 21, 2014 at 5:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Jessica

      What would you have the neighbors do? They just have to move now because their neighbors became noisy?

      May 21, 2014 at 7:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   poopypants

      I’m sure there are little slippers with padding and grips she could by the one year old. That would soften the sound at least somewhat.

      May 21, 2014 at 7:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   The Beast Among Us

      Talking about it to the neighbor and coming up with a solution is one thing. Overreacting by banging on the ceiling, calling the cops, and throwing yourself against the door is completely different, and doesn’t solve the problem.

      In the case of the old man, perhaps helping him across the street would be the best thing to do.

      May 21, 2014 at 7:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   Jessica

      It seems they did leave a note . . .

      May 21, 2014 at 8:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   kermit

      Yeah, Jessica but then they also threw themselves against the effing door.

      Sorry, but that’s crazy town territory.

      If I was on the receiving end of a neighbor slamming themselves against my door, I would make it a point to walk around in high heels purely out of spite.

      May 22, 2014 at 2:24 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   Jessica

      Sleep deprivation makes people crazy.

      May 22, 2014 at 4:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.8   mercy

      Sigh. A baby can’t help his footsteps. And yes, little things sounds terribly loud for downstairs neighbors but short of never moving around, what can be done? If you’r that annoyed, buy headphones. Turn on some soothing music. Or the TV. Take steps to ensure your quality of life is better but don’t expect other people to change their quallity of life for YOUR benefit when things can’t be helped.

      May 22, 2014 at 10:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.9   Jessica

      I absolutely expect my neighbors to change their life for MY benefit, in exactly the same way I change mine for theirs.

      When you have children you might have to (gasp!) make sacrifices and alter your lifestyle. That or they can resign themselves to being a nuisance to all around them and stop whining about it when people let them know as much.

      May 22, 2014 at 10:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.10   mercy

      You forgot to read the part where I said when things can’t be helped. I fail to see what sacrifices the neighbors (or you) are suggesting for mutual benefit. It has been established that baby steps always sound like a herd of buffalo where there is poor insulation. Carpet, slippers are good suggestions for the upstairs neighbor. Headphones, white noise etc for the downstairs neighbor.
      Calling the cops? Banging on the ceiling and/or door.
      Not helpful and a tad bit entitled.

      May 22, 2014 at 11:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.11   Jessica

      I can’t defend calling the cops or banging on the ceiling as a rational reaction but, when subjected to a herd of marauding buffalo overhead, I can understand loosing your cool.

      May 22, 2014 at 1:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.12   The Beast Among Us

      I can’t. It’s never cool to lose your cool.

      May 22, 2014 at 2:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.13   pooham

      My daughter called me very upset. Finals week and the upstairs neighbors were making a ton of noise, sounded like hammering. I told her to go talk to them or go somewhere (my house, library) to study. She decided to go somewhere else, but on her way out she noticed that it was just new carpet being installed. :)

      May 22, 2014 at 2:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.14   poopypants

      To be fair to the note-writer, we don’t know the full story. I’ve had issues with noise in the past so I’m more inclined to be more sympathetic. It’s possible that the cops and note were the last resort.

      The recipient admits that they’ve tried to explain it several times, but never said they do anything to solve the issue. If you were pounding on my ceiling at all hours (depending on when the child wakes, how often it’s running around, my work hours) and never did anything to mitigate it in spite of several conversations it’s entirely possible I would call the police.

      You chose to have your baby, I did not. I’m willing to make SOME accommodations, but the primary onus is on the parents, not their neighbors.

      May 22, 2014 at 7:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Ben

    This note is not t all passive-aggressive. It’s just plain aggressive.

    As the parent of a child who was once a one-year-old, and as someone who was once a downstairs neighbor #7 is off her rocker. It’s a one-year-old. They don’t listen. Reasonable downstairs neighbors know it’s a child of the age of approximately 12 months. This is not a being you can reason with, and neither are the parents. You could try to argue that the parents should carry the child around all day but I can tell you that would also result in just a ton of screaming and crying – both on the part of the child and on the part of the parent.

    May 21, 2014 at 2:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   JoneyJava

      Why not just put play mats down and not let the kid in the kitchen if it’s particularly loud in there? And get the kid on a better schedule so it’s not running around “all night”.

      Neighbour disputes get out of control because everyone thinks in black and white (I can make as much noise as I like Vs you should be totally silent).

      May 22, 2014 at 3:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   SnarkyMalarky

      “Get the kid on a better schedule” bahaha! Oh if things were just as easy as that with children. My child took 6 years to sleep through the night, and sometimes he still wants to get up and party at 3 am.

      May 23, 2014 at 6:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   JoneyJava

      Oh believe me I know it’s not easy my two year old still wakes up 4 times some nights. But there’s no way in hell I let him run around the apartment when he wakes up. Because a) if he can get up and play just because he feels like it at 3am then of course he’s not going to go back to sleep and b) it’s antisocial and I have neighbours.

      May 24, 2014 at 12:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   Dolly

      I am with Joney. Sure my twins woke up all the freaking time when they were little, but at no point does that mean I let them get up and start running around the house in the middle of the night. Now they might cry and neighbors might hear that. But no way are they going to be allowed to run around. I will try to shoosh them and make them go back to sleep but I never let them out of the crib unless it was to give them a bottle or rock them. We never had middle of the night dance parties.

      Aug 7, 2014 at 10:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Rachel

    Get some thick carpet and rugs. You might not be able to silence your kid but you will be able to significantly lessen the sound of their footfall.

    I have lived with this and you clearly have NO IDEA what it’s like. Have some respect for your neighbours.

    May 21, 2014 at 2:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Anonymous


      You’re absolutely right.

      Absolute hell living in a basement.

      May 5, 2015 at 9:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   buni

    If the floors are that thin, with no insulation between, it doesn’t matter if the kid weighs “only” 25 lbs. My 4 lb rabbit sounds like a herd of wildebeests when I’m down in my basement & he’s running around my uncarpeted living room.

    May 21, 2014 at 2:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Ash

      Yeah, weight isn’t as big a factor as you’d expect. My 10 lb cat sounds like a horse when he runs upstairs, and my floors are carpeted.

      May 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   assiveProgressive

      yeah, I’m surprised at how noisy my cats can sound (I have three) when they start chasing each other. And there is a lovely ball that is kind of like a rock. I have to put it away if they get it out at 1 a.m., lest it wake up co-mommy. In my apartment days, I found that sound also travels upward in an old building or a cheaply built one. I used to throw off my shoes when I sat on the bed, and my neighbor upstairs told me she could hear it. So I did stop the behavior. I feel for the person who has to hear all the noise, but really, it’s a baby, not a bunch of crack heads having sex …

      May 22, 2014 at 12:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Maitri Bath & Body

    Yes, by all means, I shall henceforth and forthwith prevent my growing child from walking at all, and shall carry her until she is 13 years old. Thank you, noble neighbors, for showing me the error of my ways in encouraging her to be an actual person and not a burden on society! I stand corrected!

    May 21, 2014 at 2:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Jessica

      You do that or you could just move to a first floor apartment. If it’s that loud this will be a problem no matter who your neighbor is.

      May 21, 2014 at 5:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   mercy

      Exactly this will be a problem no matter who lives there so maybe the person who can’t stand noise should MOVE to the top floor and endure the harrassment from downstairs neighbors in a poorly insulated building when their steps become loud.

      May 22, 2014 at 10:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Jessica

      Hopefully they will and we will get the pleasure of reading the note left by downstairs neighbor #2.

      May 22, 2014 at 10:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   The Beast Among Us

    I had upstairs neighbors that used to dance, stomp, fight, run, have sex, etc. They were extremely noisy. But I never banged on the ceiling, wrote notes, called the cops, or threw myself against the door. Why? Because unless I was asleep, I didn’t care. I learned to tune it out.

    Except the sex. I enjoyed listening to that sound.

    May 21, 2014 at 2:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Ladykatey

      Right on. You need to have realistic expectations about neighbors. Its usually pretty obvious when you rent a place that there are people living over, under, to the right of, across from, etc, you.
      If you don’t like hearing people over you, live in a space with no one over you. Or try a building that is only efficiancy apartments- one tenant units make for a quieter building. Or rent a trailer. Or build a cabin in the fucking woods.

      May 21, 2014 at 10:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   buni

      That “cabin in the woods” is my dream. I want enough acerage that I don’t have to hear or see people unless I want to. I live in a single-family home in a semi-suburban/rural area and I still have to deal with occasional unwanted neighbor-noise. Summer weekends are the worst. I wish everyone would mow their lawns all at the same time and get it over with so we can enjoy peace & quiet the rest of the time.

      May 22, 2014 at 8:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   hbc

      The cabin in the woods isn’t as quiet as one might dream. I’ve got a pond near me that is deafening from small frogs peeping for about 2 months in the spring, I have turkeys that come up and tap against the window during the winter, and there’s always the fun of trying to fall asleep while wondering if the skittering sound you hear is inside or outside.

      May 22, 2014 at 9:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   buni

      The last three houses I’ve lived in have backed up to woods, so I’m familiar with critter noises. Even with coyotes howling and foxes screaming, I’d still take animal noise over people noise – except barking dogs. My neighbor’s pond has spring peepers. I enjoy the sound but granted, it’s several hundred yards away so it’s not that loud.

      May 22, 2014 at 10:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   The Beast Among Us

      Buni is a future UnaBomber. The BuniBomber.

      May 22, 2014 at 2:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.6   buni

      I’m just extremely introverted, with a touch of social anxiety. I find too much human contact to be stressful and I feel most relaxed when I’m alone, spending time with my pets, or hiking in the woods.

      May 22, 2014 at 3:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.7   JoDa

      Lady, I just bought a new place, and one of the attractions of it is the hallway is in the middle and the rooms were set up so that I share very few “living space” walls with other people. My living room abuts my neighbor’s living room, but my bedroom abuts my own internal hallway and my own bathroom. If the neighbor is being noisy in their living room when I’m trying to sleep, a closed door will fix the problem forthwith. Plus top floor. :)

      May 22, 2014 at 5:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Dave

    Buy a large rug. Make a TON of noise one night until the neighbor comes upstairs frothing at the mouth. Roll the neighbor’s body up in the rug.

    May 21, 2014 at 2:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Nope.

      Not where I expected that to go. I was thinking trap the neighbor under the large rug until the cops come, but your plan works too.

      May 22, 2014 at 1:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   warns

    I would probably document the banging on the ceiling/door/walls this lady is responsible for, and let her call the cops. I’d love to see the look on the police officer’s face when this lady tries to justify calling the authorities on a toddler. LOVE.

    May 21, 2014 at 4:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Lita bang

    Carpet. Definitely.

    Although I’d rather live under a one-year-old just learning to walk instead of the two hellion children I USED to live under. One was three or four, one was six, and I honestly don’t know when they ever slept because 24/7 they were banging and stomping and screaming around. I know I sure as hell never slept when they were pulling that stunt.

    (I rather suspect they did it on purpose – the younger one was shrieking in the hall one day, Mom and I were going out to do something later and caught the father on the stairs with kid in tow. He asked if she’d been bothering us earlier, Mom said that yes she had, and apparently that was the Wrong Answer. I actually caught the dickmunch encouraging his kids to slam the building’s front door – they broke it at least four times – to bang on the stair railing until it loosened and almost fell on people’s heads, to stand outside our apartment door and scream, and he himself – being such a paragon of Politeness and Caring – took to smoking in front of our door. In a no-smoking building. Our apartment absolutely stank of smoke by the time we moved out.)

    Now I live in an “apartment” above the parents’ house and have four cats. And I’m still not noisy enough to bother anyone. :|

    May 21, 2014 at 5:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   assiveProgressive

      I had an apartment where there were kids like that. They would do “hilarious” things like ring my doorbell all the damned time, so I had to disconnect it.

      May 22, 2014 at 11:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Lita bang

      Oh geez, aP. You just made me imagine what it’d have been like if we’d had a doorbell. *shudders*

      May 22, 2014 at 5:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   phil

    everybody seems to think rugs and pads are a great idea. maybe the downstairs neighbor should buy some and staple them to the ceiling. that’s about as reasonable as asking a 12 month old or their parents to be quiet all the time. Better yet maybe just move into a house where they wouldn’t have to deal with all those inconsiderate people.

    May 21, 2014 at 7:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   FreddyFly

      Am I missing something? Is there no middle ground between being totally silent and being an inconsiderate jerk. If you have a loud toddler put play mats or carpets down in part of the apartment and keep them in that part of the apartment and make sure they’re in bed at a sensible time.

      May 22, 2014 at 6:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   buni

      Yes Freddy, see here: http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2014/05/19/have-a-great-day/#comment-577321

      May 22, 2014 at 11:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   RedDelicious

    As someone who had to live below a family whose kid was “special needs” and wouldn’t sit down, ever, but constantly ran from one side of the apartment to the other… There’s a point you hit where you honestly cannot take it anymore. I’m not a heartless bitch, and I get they were dealing with a challenging situation, but when it’s four in the morning and you have a college final at 8, there’s only so much shit you can take.
    People just honestly are selfish, and don’t take the lives of their neighbors into consideration. The truth is, the family above me never should have been given an upstairs apartment. Management admitted that. Still, I had to move to get away from it.
    If people thought of the bigger picture instead of just themselves and their needs first, situations like that would be less of a thing. Common consideration and courtesy would solve a lot of problems. If you have kids that run around like cattle, don’t fucking move into an upstairs apartment.
    Team note writer.

    May 21, 2014 at 7:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Poltergeist

      And couldn’t you just as easily say that if you don’t want to have the possibility of a family with children living above you, don’t fucking move into a downstairs apartment?

      Did you even consider that maybe, just maybe, they didn’t have many other options? Maybe they needed to live near family, or they needed to live near their jobs, or they needed the services that could be provided to their child only if they lived in that area, but there was no other place to live that was affordable or available? Obviously the situation was not good for you, but that does not mean the parents were necessarily being selfish. They have to live somewhere.

      May 22, 2014 at 12:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   kermit

      Poltergeist, the same reasoning goes for students. And in most(?) towns, the affordable housing near the university is notoriously ghetto, likely uninsured and in violation of a whole lot of building laws. The slumlords bribe the building inspectors to look the other way, so nothing is done to get the buildings up to code.

      May 22, 2014 at 2:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   FreddyFly

      Poltergeist I think the point is that the onus is on the person that’s either exceptionally loud or exceptionally sensitive to noise to live in an appropriate apartment. If you can’t stand the noise of normal adults using their apartment make sure you live on the top floor. If you have a very very loud kid that will clearly disturb people then either live on the ground floor or put a lot of mats/ carpets down.

      May 22, 2014 at 7:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.4   hbc

      If people were good about identifying when they were “exceptionally” anything, most of the world’s problems wouldn’t exist.

      Though in apartment living, I think many people’s definition of “very very loud kid” is either “kid who is not both mute and paralyzed” or “louder than my kids were [according to my selective memory].”

      May 22, 2014 at 10:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.5   Captain Hampton

      I also have tangential anecdotes that warp my perception of the events in the lives of other people that lead to me to take sides without realizing that their situation may actually be unique in fundamental ways. Welcome to the club!

      May 22, 2014 at 10:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.6   Tesselara

      Captain–I think I tried to like your comment twice!

      May 24, 2014 at 8:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.7   dd

      I think my rating of loud kid is perfectly reasonable. Playing jump-rope on an uncarpeted hardwood floor: loud. RIDING THEIR BICYCLE ON AN UNCARPETED HARDWOOD FLOOR: REALLY FUCKING LOUD

      Any kids that refrain from these two key points which I am currently experiencing, as well as refraining from running indoors and shrieking for more than half a minute, are darling starlets in my book.

      Jun 6, 2014 at 1:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.8   Dolly

      I told my husband we needed a house before we had kids. I had a feeling I would have screaming banshees for children and I was right. So I knew we needed a house so that we did not disturb others and no one disturbed us. Seems the smart thing to do.

      Aug 7, 2014 at 10:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   V

    This is weird, but I have to say it: I just love that handwriting.

    May 21, 2014 at 7:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   pooham

      I had trouble reading it. At least it wasn’t the bubble/circular handwriting. That’s nearly impossible for me to read.

      May 22, 2014 at 12:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   BSR

    Back in the day, when my wife was trying to study for her degree on weekends (the only time she had) our upstairs neighbors got their first grandchild, who became their every-weekend visitor.

    We heard occasional crying and then muffled thumps as she began crawling….no big deal. But when she got up and started walking, then RUNNING it was hell!

    This was an old turn of the century brick building with hardwood floors. When she discovered she could run it really got crazy, as her favorite activity seemed to be to run from one end of the apartment to the other. I don’t know what kind of shoes she had, but I was convinced at the time they were cement. They were probably the standard hard-leather-sole baby shoes, but that kid never went barefoot!

    No amount of pleading with the neighbors helped — we kept getting the “She only weighs 20 lbs, what’s your problem?” line. Try dropping a 20lb bowling ball on the floor overhead — it’s LOUD!

    In the end, we gave up and it forced us into our first house — before we were ready. I can certainly sympathize with the downstairs neighbors.

    Don’t get me started on the upstairs cat, who would frequently forget what floor she was on and wait outside our door. When I would open it she would run inside and then freeze, because everything was wrong. Trying to pick her up got hissing and scratching.

    Glad we left…

    May 21, 2014 at 9:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   pooham

      I love the part about dementia cat.

      May 22, 2014 at 12:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   The Beast Among Us

      That cat didn’t really live upstairs. Or even in that building.

      May 22, 2014 at 5:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Lita bang

    And now that I look at this again:


    *huff* *pant* *gasp*

    May 21, 2014 at 11:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Tesselara

      Lita, they were clearly in a ragged rage!

      May 24, 2014 at 8:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Lita bang

      Hah! Clearly!

      May 24, 2014 at 9:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   assiveProgressive

    Yes. And what is this request: “please be curtains”

    May 22, 2014 at 12:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Kathlynn

      It is clearly “ious” not “ins” at the end.

      May 22, 2014 at 10:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   pooham

      Or it could be just “ous.”

      May 23, 2014 at 10:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   pooham

      ….but it should be “eous” in any case.

      May 23, 2014 at 10:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Kristi

    I have horrible upstairs neighbors. I don’t know what the heck is going on up there and because I know how kids are and understand because I have two of my own, I never complain. I’ve got about 2 hours of sleep a night for the last 2 weeks and I still don’t complain. There is literally super loud crashing all freaking night and day. I will get jolted awake to something that sounds like someone is banging around in my kitchen all night. It’s been going on for months and the only times I complained were when water started pouring out of my ceiling in 3 different rooms(they wouldn’t open the door for maintenance even though you could hear them crashing around upstairs) and when my house was shaking so bad that my freaking ceiling fan came out of the wall.. Now I open my door everyday to rotten onions in front of my door.

    May 22, 2014 at 12:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   The Beast Among Us

      No one actually lives there. That apartment is haunted. You need to move because the ghost is trying to kick you out.

      May 22, 2014 at 5:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   pooham

      I was thinking haunted too Beast!

      May 22, 2014 at 6:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.3   Mith

      And you don’t sue them and don’t move and don’t complain…. why?

      May 23, 2014 at 3:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.4   Lita bang

      Mith, that isn’t always possible. Especially if they have the landlord on their side (like my previous annoying upstairs neighbors) and the cops yell at you and the rest of the sane neighbors for calling them because a child was emitting shrieks of such a length and tone that the ENTIRE BUILDING thought someone was abusing said child. How dare we call them out because a child was screaming. How DARE we not just plug our ears and ignore it, because children don’t scream if they’re being abused.

      (Yes. They actually said that. Kids don’t scream if someone’s abusing them, apparently.)

      We did move after two years of this shit, but not everyone has that luxury.

      May 23, 2014 at 9:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.5   kermit

      I never understand people who suggest litigation in such cases.

      First of all, do you have any idea how much lawyers who handle this kind of crap cost? Moreover, it’s only the crap ones who even take cases like this because there are much more lucrative areas of practice than the “feuding neighbors” racket.

      Costs aside, do you have any idea how LONG it takes to take somebody to court over this? By the time all is said and done, it is much faster to find another place to live and sell your current place.

      And thirdly, even if you wait it out, do you have any idea how ineffective judgments like this are? A judgment against a noisy/crazy neighbor isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. Instead of waving around the paper with the judgment in your favor, are better off investing in a tranquilizer gun and some tranquilizer darts.

      May 24, 2014 at 11:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #23   grmrdan

    Earplugs people seriously! If you are going to live in apartment, dorm or with roomates get some friggin earplugs to sleep with! Some people have no idea how loud they are, some don’t care and some can’t help it. But if you KNOW you are moving into a situation where people are living in close proximity, than it is not everyone elses job to stop living just because you want silence to sleep. Trust me, the super soft foam plugs make apartment life and sleeping in a bit, MUCH more pleasant.

    May 22, 2014 at 1:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Rattus

      Earplugs are all fine and dandy, but what if you need to hear the alarm clock in the morning? Do you somehow manage to train yourself to remove the earplugs without waking up at some point in the middle of the night?

      May 22, 2014 at 8:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   buni

      My ex-husband wore earplugs and never heard his alarm. It would wake me up & I’d have to shake him awake. I bought him a vibrating alarm clock, designed for deaf people. Scared the crap out of me the first time it went off.

      May 22, 2014 at 9:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.3   Seanette

      This of course assumes that you can hear your alarm clock through said earplugs or don’t much care about risking losing your job for repeated lateness caused by failure to hear the alarm.

      May 22, 2014 at 6:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.4   Kathlynn

      Use music or some other background noise when you need to hear other things. (I live in a 40 yr old trailer, and I can hear way too much outside noise. I cannot live without music playing 24/7)

      May 22, 2014 at 10:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.5   Raichu

      Agreed – I have a hard enough time hearing my alarm as it is, I’m such a heavy sleeper. Earplugs would not be an option for me. Plus I haaaate having things stuck in my ears, it’s just really uncomfortable.

      May 23, 2014 at 12:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.6   The Beast Among Us

      This alarm is guaranteed to wake you up:


      May 23, 2014 at 1:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.7   Tesselara

      I’m hearing impaired . And people wonder why I don’t mind it at all. This. You poor hearing people and the terrible noises that you have to deal with. I turn my hearing aids off, and those hellacious noises just….disappear. Alarm clocks? I just creepily wake up whenever I’m supposed to.

      May 24, 2014 at 8:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.8   sam

      Just tell yourself what time you want to wake up, and you’ll wake up at that time. That’s what I do.

      May 26, 2014 at 5:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.9   L




      *wipes eyes* Oh, that’s a good one!

      May 28, 2014 at 2:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #24   Kasaba

    Sounds like there’s a lot of kids that could do with a trip to the park to run around and play for a bit, instead of being stuck in an upstairs apartment. I know not everyone can afford to live somewhere with a garden/maybe don’t have time to take the kids out every day, but it does pain me to see kids growing up in high rise apartments in London, when I was lucky enough to grow up in the country and had the freedom to run around outside as much as I wanted to (or even when I didn’t want to, I was encouraged to!). I’d hate to be stuck IN an apartment with kids running around all day, never mind under one.

    May 22, 2014 at 2:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   L

      I hated the outdoors as a child!! XD I was good with a book, lol.

      May 25, 2014 at 4:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #25   JoneyJava

    Sounds like they’re both being unreasonable. As someone who has a toddler and lives below a toddler you can’t and shouldn’t stop them running about but you can and should help reduce the noise. Because of the way toddlers stomp about they are MUCH MUCH louder than adults.

    Put the kid in slippers, put a big foam mat down where the kid plays. If the noise is worst in the kitchen then put up a baby gate and don’t let the kid in the kitchen. Take the kid to a park, playgroup or children’s library during the day to let off steam. This is good for the child anyway. Get your kid on a sociable schedule. The note said “all night” which suggest the OP is letting her kid make a racket while they’re trying to sleep.

    Reasonable people will compromise it’s not like the two options are never let your kid run in the house or make absolutely no effort to reduce the noise.

    May 22, 2014 at 3:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #26   rushgirl2112

    Note writer went overboard for sure, but I can’t help but sympathize with the underlying complaint.

    Back when I lived in an apartment, a family with a couple of kids moved in upstairs. The kids’ running and stomping around made an ungodly noise. It was literally enough to rattle the dishes in my cabinets when they were in their kitchen. No joke.

    We didn’t complain because we’re nonconfrontational people. And I doubt that they knew quite how much noise it made. Curse of the second-floor apartment, I guess . . . not only did we have to deal with the noise coming from upstairs but we also committed ourselves to walking carefully so as not to bother the ones downstairs.

    I was so happy when we got out of there.

    May 22, 2014 at 7:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #27   Mith

    I am not sure I am team Holly here. Actually, I am sure I am not. The letter specifically states “all night”, and last I checked toddlers are supposed to sleep at night, not “toddle”.

    Secondly, toddlers do not stomp heavier than adults walk. What they can do, however, is jump from a couch, make a chair fall down and drag it around, bang two pans, throw a hard toy hard against a hard floor, pick it up and repeat endlessly, scream for half an hour etc.

    So, I am betting on a description of the toddler’s activities having been seriously toned down. And if you tone down that much your side of the story, then I bet you flame up the poor neighbor’s reaction just as much.

    May 22, 2014 at 8:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   rushgirl2112

      First, you don’t know what Note Writer’s definition of “all night” is. I guarantee you it’s not overnight. It’s in the evening.

      Second, yes, toddlers and other young children DO as a general rule make more noise walking than adults. I have two children of my own and have spent lots of time around other children that age, and they do not plant their feet the same way that most adults do. They haven’t learned how to spread their weight across their foot and instead focus most of it on their heels.

      An adult doing the same thing would make more noise, of course, but most adults don’t walk like that. And like I said up there somewhere, most adults don’t go running around their apartments. Running = much heavier, sharper footfalls.

      I suspect that you’re right about the child’s overall noise levels not being presented accurately, though.

      May 22, 2014 at 2:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #28   Havingfitz

    I’ll live under the parents. Seriously. After sharing a wall with someone who played the song “Sweet Dreams” full blast 24 hours a day for months at a time, I feel like I can handle just about anything now. Except that song. And pretty much any reference to the Eurythmics. Just hearing the first notes start up on the radio is enough to make me curl into a fetal position and sob.

    May 22, 2014 at 9:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   The Beast Among Us

      And who am I to disagree?

      May 22, 2014 at 5:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #28.2   The Elf

      I think some of them want to abuse you.

      May 28, 2014 at 7:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #29   janet

    I used to live below a deaf stomper … he stomped so loud in his shit-kicker boots that the pictures on my wall would vibrate.
    It wasn’t until he flooded my bathroom (turned on tub and forgot so .. taking down my entire bathroom and hall ceilings that I finally got rid of him)

    May 22, 2014 at 9:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #30   kaetra

    If you cannot tolerate noise from upstairs neighbors why do you live in an apartment that has upstairs neighbors? The world does not revolve around you. People are living their lives. If you can’t handle it, it’s your problem.

    May 22, 2014 at 9:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   JoneyJava

      No. If you live in an apartment you compromise. You accept hearing some noise from your neighbours but you also try to limit the amount of noise you make. By your logic I should be able to blast my music all night and it’s my neighbours fault if they can’t deal with it.

      May 23, 2014 at 8:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #31   Stir it up!

    I say, buy the kid a set of drums.

    May 22, 2014 at 9:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #32   macphile

    All that really bothers me about this is the use of “whom” instead of “who.”

    May 22, 2014 at 10:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #33   Little J

    As someone who has lived below children several times in her life (including when I was, myself, a tween), I understand both sides of this.

    I think a general Rule #1 at stacked living is that if you have children, you should be on the ground floor (for so many, many, many reasons that have nothing to do with feet patter; removing the fall down the stairs risk, larger “back yard” when on the ground level so more play area, etc.).

    I think that child toddling is done at the exact right footfall frequency that even with carpet in place, it really does amplify and sound really loud compared to comparable adult footsteps.

    At one point, there was a toddler who lived above me (I’m in the middle of my stack and have never before or after heard footfall noise) and hated his nightly bath and would sprint – such as a toddler can do – from the bathroom to the living room, down the hall, while screaming out his rage over the bath suggestion. Parent followed.

    Kid I could hear, and loudly enough to wake me from sleep. Parent’s follow footsteps? Nope.

    I brought this up to the parents as an amusing anecdote because bath time for a three week phase was the only time I even heard any footfalls at all, and the parent said what I suspected which is that in their apartment the kiddo footfalls were silent but the parent footfalls were loud.

    Added to this, I had a boyfriend once who had a brother who liked to listen (via earphones) to death metal and would tap his feet on the carpeted floor along with the super-fast drum beats.

    Downstairs neighbor made frequent noise complaints and then contacted the police. Those of us in the apartment heard NOTHING. From the downstair’s neighbor’s place it sounded like a jack hammer.

    I really, really suspect that light taps with very close time-proximity to one another amplify much more than any other type of nose.

    Thought I am sure she could have worded it better, I am on Team Note Writer. Unless psycho, I highly doubt the Note Writer started off at crazy, but slowly and surely built up to it as the underlying complaint wasn’t addressed.

    Mom could have come down to actually experience what Junior’s toddling sounds like – which is what happened with the boyfriend’s brother death metal tapping thing – to get a better idea of how to mitigate. They make these 2+” foam mats that come looking like puzzle pieces that can be put down in the most problematic of places. Individual rooms can be made off limits. A reasonable discussion about what hours are unacceptable can be had and agreed upon.

    And lastly, and in this I speak as someone with a lot of toddler raising experience, after dinner but before bed is a great time to go on a walk to get the wiggles out. Bring home a zonked toddler and they’ll go to bed and stay asleep all night long.

    May 22, 2014 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #34   Helen Without The H

    My dad could hear an ant poop…but ask him for a a quarter for the ice cream man (I’m kinda old) and he suddenly was hard of hearing.

    May 22, 2014 at 1:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #35   Rachel

    I lived above a woman who constantly complained about my roommate and I making too much noise. Turns out, she was trying to get us kicked out of the complex because she thought I was sleeping with her husband. I wasn’t, but it was a funny situation because the woman had two children during her marriage and neither one belonged to her husband!

    May 22, 2014 at 1:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #36   Moe

    I might’ve been Team Note Writer. But I’m not, and here’s why: “[T]he woman who lives below us will immediately run up our stairs and throw herself against our door, screaming and threatening us.”

    When you have a noisy neighbor, you try to figure out solutions, you try to deal with it as best you can, you leave passive aggressive notes, you complain to the landlord, you seethe in silent resentment, you cry because you’re so, so tired but you cannot sleep, and you look into moving if you can. It’s unfair, and it sucks out loud, but that’s how a reasonable person in command of his or her faculties handles such a situation.

    You do not scream. You do not throw yourself against other people’s doors. You certainly do not threaten, which tends to lead to unpleasant things like police being called, criminal complaints being filed, and appearances before a judge where you have to say out loud, and have it recorded for posterity by a stenographer, “I had to threaten my neighbors Your Honor, their toddler was making too much noise.” And then if you’re lucky, you get a fine or probation, and you get evicted. If you’re unlucky, you go to jail for a little while, where I’m sure the noise level is much, much worse.

    May 22, 2014 at 1:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   The Beast Among Us

      That’s the same part that got me, too. “Bang loudly on the door” could be taken as an exaggeration, but for some reason, “throw herself against our door, screaming and threatening” is such a ridiculous statement that I cannot be exaggerated. That’s a scary person right there.

      May 22, 2014 at 5:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.2   The Beast Among Us

      *it cannot be exaggerated.


      May 22, 2014 at 5:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.3   sam

      Nah, the submitter seems clueless and minimises the noise her child makes to the extent that I dont believe her account of the neighbour’s behaviour at all. Sounds like hyperbole to gain sympathy. Note there’s no mention at all of her taking any steps to reduce her kids noise?

      May 26, 2014 at 5:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #36.4   juniper

      I think note writer exaggerates. If neighbour was making noise at their door, I imagine it was a ‘do you enjoy this sound’ sort of thing. I do not believe they were ‘throwing themselves at the door’.

      May 27, 2014 at 8:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #37   Zetal

    When I learned to walk, I walked on the outside of my feet instead of the bottoms. To correct this, I spent several weeks in corrective casts. Imagine a toddler in casts living above you. Who MUST be allowed to walk as much as possible in them. And yes, we lived in a second-floor apartment at the time, with no carpet.

    Somehow the neighbors managed to not be harassing jerks about it.

    May 22, 2014 at 3:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #38   Sarah

    Even if the sounds of the kid are loud due to cruddy construction, the kid has a right to be able to walk around. That’s not excessive behavior by any means. If the note writers really need it to be quiet for some reason, they should calmly come over and ask if the kid can not walk around for an hour or so. This is just stupid.

    May 22, 2014 at 4:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #39   mutzali

    When we lived in a one-story triplex with a cement-slab foundation, and our neighbors had three kids, 3 to 6 years old. On our side of the common wall, we had two bedrooms and a bathroom. They had a long hallway. Their kids had hot wheels and roller skates, which they rode up and down the hallway for hours every night, crashing and screaming. (Things were actually knocked off the walls on our side.) We had been planning to have kids, but we decided to wait until we could afford to buy or rent a free-standing house, because I didn’t want anyone hating my kids as much as I hated those three.

    May 22, 2014 at 4:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   The Beast Among Us

      You should have just thrown yourself against their door, screamed, and threatened them. That would have solved the problem immediately.

      /sarcasm off

      May 22, 2014 at 5:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #40   Belle

    When my son was in third grade we had a neighbor who called up management and complained that my son was jumping up & down on the couch (something that wouldn’t be allowed in the first place) and banging on our living room wall. Management calls me and I obviously ask them when this supposedly happened. They said about 10 minutes ago & I told them that the neighbor is either hearing things or making up stuff to try & get me in trouble because me son is at school (probably the latter because she didn’t like kids, not even her own).

    May 22, 2014 at 5:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #41   Jaid

    I lived over a lady that was eventually kicked out, because she had her daughter living with her without informing management. They were caught because in the evenings, there would moments of something being dropped on their floor. It would be loud enough to make the walls shake upstairs. I can only imagine how it was for the gentleman living beneath them.

    May 22, 2014 at 6:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #41.1   The Beast Among Us

      Let the bodies hit the floor!
      Let the bodies hit the floor!
      Let the bodies hit the floor!
      Let the bodies hit the floooooor!

      May 22, 2014 at 7:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #42   Grammer Police

    Grammar police here – it should be who live below you, not the hypercorrected whom live below you. Come on, if you’re going to write passive-corrective notes, at least have the decency to use proper grammar. How’s that for sending the police on you!

    May 23, 2014 at 10:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #43   Grammar Police

    The best part is that the grammar police need to be sent out on the note-writer: whom live below you is just atrocious hypercorrection in an attempt to sound intelligent. It should be who live below you since who is the subject, not the object. Get it right people! How’s that for sending the police out on them – the grammar police! (Although I do empathize with the situation. Kid noise above me would drive me crazy as well!)

    May 23, 2014 at 10:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #44   NotLikely

    “As soon as my one-year-old walks into the kitchen, the woman who lives below us will immediately run up our stairs and throw herself against our door, screaming and threatening us.”

    I straight up do not believe this has happened even one time, let alone multiple times.

    May 23, 2014 at 12:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   Haterade

      I believe she’s knocked loudly when they refuse to answer the door, and “threatened” calling the police loudly enough to be heard through the door, but I’m still mostly team notewriter.

      The years have pretty firmly cemented my theory of how some people end up rationalizing atrocious behavior. Imagine two people, “A” and “B”. A decides to break the rules (of civil interaction, of their workplace, of the law, etc) just a little bit. Let’s call the degree to which they break the rules “x”. B observes this and thinks “If they can get away with 3x, surely it’s okay if I do 2x (which is actually 2-3x, because misbehavior always seems worse when other people do it to us, and not as bad when we do it).” A sees this and is outraged that B is so callous as to misbehave by 6x. They rationalize what they consider to be 4x, which is actually 4-6x. B figures that if A can get away with 10x, then… and so forth.

      Or as others who’ve gone before have said more succinctly, “One bad apple spoils the barrel.”

      May 24, 2014 at 7:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #45   Raichu

    Team both and neither. Learn to compromise. Don’t scream like a banshee at your upstairs neighbor and understand the noise doesn’t sound the same to them. There will be some noise; don’t expect silence. Likewise, if you have a toddler, put on socks/slippers, don’t let them wear shoes in the house, use carpet, and set reasonable hours.

    May 23, 2014 at 12:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #46   Jamoche

    I have a friend whose downstairs neighbor would start pounding on the ceiling when he though her *cat* was walking too loud. The cat was 20 years old and 7 pounds max, the floor was carpeted. Whatever he was hearing, it wasn’t the cat.

    May 24, 2014 at 1:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #47   Nat

    While I can understand where the note-writer is coming from, throwing yourself against someone’s door is never okay. We live in a downstairs apartment, and our neighbors upstairs can be really noisy. They have a vibrating alarm clock that can clearly be heard through the floor that wakes my husband up quite often (I’m up already), and their footsteps are loud. In fact, as I’m typing this they just went stomping across their living room. But our landlord also warned us repeatedly when we were in the process of signing the lease that it was a downstairs apartment and we would hear people walking around etc. upstairs. In fact, people who live on the first floor in our building actually pay less rent for the very reason that people walking upstairs is very audible in our older building. But then again, we also have a good landlord. She asked me a few months after we moved in if they were being too noisy upstairs, and I did mention the alarm clock and she was more than willing to approach them for us. We decided not to, because hubby’s gotten used to it and it doesn’t wake him up anymore, but we have the option if it gets too bad.

    May 24, 2014 at 3:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #48   Kasaba

    Can someone with complaints from downstairs neighbours about noise from upstairs, please put a copy of Poltergeist in their mail, with a note attached to say you weren’t at home at the time of complaint.

    May 25, 2014 at 7:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   Poltergeist

      They can’t put a copy of me in the mail. I am the one and only ;-)

      May 25, 2014 at 5:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #49   Lita bang

    You know, I’ve been picking out flooring for my bathroom remodel (hardwood laminate), and in selecting the underlayment, all I could think of was this post.

    I am now the proud owner of a moisture barrier/sound-muffling underlayment, and it’s all because I couldn’t help but think of this post. I’m not sure if I hate or love you all. :P

    May 25, 2014 at 5:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   Tesselara

      Lita–the answer is always: love us! :)

      May 26, 2014 at 5:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.2   Lita bang

      But what if I love you too much? :P

      May 26, 2014 at 9:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.3   The Beast Among Us

      There is no such thing, especially with a freaky group like this.

      May 27, 2014 at 1:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.4   Tesselara

      Lita–it’s okay–We have protection. You can’t love us too much.

      May 27, 2014 at 5:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.5   Lita bang

      Well, in that case, I love you all!

      May 27, 2014 at 9:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.6   assiveProgressive

      You make me feel like dancing, Lita. Though I am not lite on my feet.

      May 27, 2014 at 11:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #49.7   Lita bang

      You can dance if you want to! (You can leave your friends behind…oh no, what have I done.)

      *safety dance*

      May 28, 2014 at 8:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #50   The Elf

    It’s amazing how much noise can transmit through ceilings – my little 1 lb ferret girls sounded like elephants when they really got going with the weasel wardancing.

    But this is totally the wrong way to handle a noise complaint, and noise is a part of apartment life. Note writer should just consider moving to someplace where other people aren’t.

    And note-receiver: consider thicker carpet pads or area rugs over carpeting. It might help.

    May 27, 2014 at 10:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #51   Sapphire116

    Oh boy do I have a story to tell!

    When I was dating now-husband, he lived on the second floor of a 2 story apartment building. He had lived there for 5 years and for 4 years was pretty friendly with the couple who lived beneath him. They moved and a CRAZY neighbor took their place. Shortly after crazy neighbor moved it, he started complaining that husband was stomping around at all hours and doing jumping jacks. Husband told me this guy was going crazy and was escalating his aggressiveness, but I sort of thought he was exaggerating.

    Until one night I stayed over. We had just finished a watching a movie at 10 pm and were getting ready for bed. While in the bathroom, I accidentally knocked the toilet seat lid down. It was loud, but nothing crazy, and we had been super quiet all night. The guy downstairs STORMED upstairs and started screaming through the door. He started to then throw his body against the door, screaming that he’d kill my boyfriend. We ended up calling the cops. That was the first of many incidents where we had to call the police on him. One time we had just woken up and taken 4 steps out of bed onto the carpeted floor when he came upstairs, ready to kill. The guy would wait for my husband to leave the apartment and then he’d leave his, and walk 2 feet behind my husband all the way to his car, glaring at him the whole time.

    Husband complained to the apartment management multiple times and they refused to get involved. Finally he just broke his lease and moved out. It was ridiculous.

    May 28, 2014 at 10:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #51.1   The Beast Among Us

      Nah. People don’t throw themselves at the door like that. I think you’re exaggerating.

      /sarcasm off

      May 29, 2014 at 5:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #52   Tedi_Bee

    Oh if she was making a threat against my family and my baby I’d call the police and tell them. Then I’d get her recorded threatening me and my family to get a restraining order against her. It’ll look great for future rentals that want to know her rental history when she’s thrown out for threats. Actually where in glendale do you live, I live there too. I’d love to go over and jump up and down on your floors and then wait outside the door with the phone telling her step up here and I’ll have you arrested for disturbing MY peace and threatening me.

    Jun 2, 2014 at 3:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #53   Paige

    Does anyone know a certain area in a city or town where there are lots of noise complaints from neighbors? Maybe someone that has posted on this website about problems they have had in the past or currently?

    Jun 4, 2014 at 9:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #54   Paige

    Does anyone know a certain area in a city or town where there are lots of noise complaints from neighbors? Maybe someone that has posted on this website about problems they have had in the past or currently.

    Jun 4, 2014 at 9:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #54.1   Paige

      I am with a Production Company for NatGeo and we are looking for areas that have “Noisy Neighbor” problems, so we can try and fix the problem. It would be awesome if anyone could give me some leads! Thank you!

      Jun 4, 2014 at 9:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #54.2   The Elf

      Well, well, well. Our spam has reached more intellectual levels.

      Jun 4, 2014 at 10:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #54.3   kermit

      Nah, that one is probably real. Unpaid interns whose research skills don’t go much beyond your typical Gawker “blogger” really do ask these types of questions of random people.

      Clearly going to a police station to inquire about noise complaint reports is much too obvious and straight-forward way of going about the job.

      Jun 4, 2014 at 2:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #55   Marissa

    Common-sense rule of thumb: if you can’t afford a house, don’t freaking have a kid. Condoms, people. They work wonders. Subjecting your poor apartment neighbors to the ear-shattering noises kids make (from screaming to stomping and everything in between) is the height of stupidity, irresponsibility, and just plain breathtaking self-centeredness. Team Notewriter all the way. (Aside from the “running upstairs and throwing herself against the door” part, because that’s a little excessive. But only a little.)

    Also, the most important part to point out: parents, especially of small children, are virtually NEVER rational when it comes to their kids. To them, child behavior that normal, sane people would consider obnoxious, disruptive, and unacceptable is nothing more than “awww, look at how pweshus Junior is!” And you can easily tell that Holly is in this camp. Anyone who refers to her kid as “my little girl” rather than “my kid” or “my daughter” is obviously guzzling the “My Precious Angel Dumpling can do no wrong” kool-aid.

    Aug 7, 2014 at 5:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #55.1   Haterade

      So much this.

      Apr 7, 2015 at 5:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #56   delislice

    So here’s my story: Following a combination of circumstances, we found ourselves living in a rented apartment for several years while our 2 kids were in middle and high school. We were on the second floor of three.

    The neighbors directly over us, in an apartment with an identical layout, had EIGHT people: Man, wife, his mother, and their five children. For starters, that’s very very crowded (heck, we were crowded).

    We tried to cut them slack. Truly. But:
    (1) Their children’s favorite entertainments were playing tag in the apartment, accompanied by much shrieking, and all five of them jumping on the bed, usually between 10 and 11 p.m. I knew it was all five because Dad would invariably call each of them by name to “get off our bed,” but not until they’d enjoyed their nightly trampoline session.

    (2) Then Dad took up the drums.

    Nov 2, 2014 at 2:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #57   Anon

    People with kids shouldn’t have an upstairs apt period.I remember when my old neighbors who had a kid that used to run around and roller skate on the concrete above me and run up and down the stairs with him and his friends and they used to sit on the stairs throwing their snack trash on my balcony below even though he was about 11 or 12 and should know better moved I thought I would get peace and a couple with a toddler moved in it the baby constantly jumped up and down in his crib,ran all over the apt all day and night until bedtime then no relief at bedtime because mom would take a bath before dad got home then they watched loud pornos and had sex every night or one day in between.Dad blared rap music all day and thought he was some bad ass when you had enough and banged on the ceiling running down and threatening people for shit he and his family are doing.They also had many guest over running around with kids too and the kids would also run up and down the stairs.The only peace was when they went away for a few days to get married then I heard them stomping up the stairs bringing all their gifts up and knew I couldn’t take it anymore it was so nice with them gone.The only solution was to move I don’t live in an apt now I never could again unless it was a single unit with nobody above or below.That’s the problem though so many families having kids they can’t afford and just keep stuffing them into 2 bedroom apts making everyone’s life miserable.Kids need a house I had to move because of the kids above me yes but also all around me they were knoking on doors,putting things in peepholes,drawing on concrete,sitting on your balcony and eating and throwing trash,teenagers and little kids playing balls outside your door kicking footballs into the siding glass door and windows and doors and telling you to fuck off when you say something apts are no place for kids and I didn’t hate kids before that experience but now I do.I empathize with the person who wrote the note just because people have kids they think others who don’t should just put up with all the crap and they say they are only kids unfortunately I think the best bet is wait until that lease is up and move for the note writer only way they are going to get their sanity back.

    Apr 7, 2015 at 4:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #57.1   Geekgoddess

      … …… .. … . … . . .
      Here. I think you lost these, and it looks like you are running low.

      Apr 7, 2015 at 4:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #58   Geekgoddess

    … …… .. … . … . . .
    Here. I think you lost these, and it looks like you are running low.

    Apr 7, 2015 at 4:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up