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To the person who had corn for dinner last night

June 24th, 2014 · 47 comments

Although John in Oklahoma City is used to the office bathroom being papered with commentary from his coworkers, he found the imagery of this note to be…especially vivid.

To the person who had corn for dinner last night; I only know you did because you left a big steaming bowl of it here for all to see. Next time, if you would be so kind, please flush the toilet. I know it is sad that I have to ask a grown man to do so, but apparently, I do,  You have been a breath of fresh air (no pun intended). Unfortunately you must have a lot of free time on your hands. The message is not getting to the right dumpers. They come from other floors to escape their own life! Or it is you and you have an alter ego!

related: A diarrhea only toilet?

FILED UNDER: office · Oklahoma · shit · toilet

47 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Maitri Bath & Body

    Um, did someone grab someone else’s undigested corn poo out of the toilet and stick it on a sign? Did that really happen?

    Jun 24, 2014 at 4:32 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Zichao

      Presuming they went and fetched some specially
      “Yo. Anyone have some corn and a roll of tape? I have to go to the bathroom.”

      Jun 24, 2014 at 4:37 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Lita bang

      I was wondering the same thing…ew.

      Jun 24, 2014 at 7:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #2   Havingfitz

    That corn was fu…no, sorry. I can’t. I just can’t.

    Jun 24, 2014 at 5:01 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

  • #3   TGIF

    I like the steam marks coming off the corn. Nice touch.

    Jun 24, 2014 at 5:05 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Stupid Flanders

      I enjoyed the steam marks as well. I admire the dedication to the artistic aspect of the this note.

      Jun 24, 2014 at 6:27 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #4   Megdwalker

    As my encore, I’d load up on asparagus and leave a #1 in there!

    Jun 24, 2014 at 7:02 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   The Elf

      Imagine what he’d tape to that note for demonstration.

      Jun 25, 2014 at 12:59 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #5   Lita bang

    At least it was only corn. It could have been beans. While they digest into something much less recognizable, ain’t no one gonna stick around long enough to see with that smell.

    Jun 24, 2014 at 7:18 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #6   kermit

    If I leave a note requesting that people flush the toilet, they will ignore it.

    But if I attach some excrement-laden pieces of corn to it, they’ll definitely pay attention and obey the note and not think me insane at all!

    Jun 24, 2014 at 7:29 pm   rating: 45  small thumbs up

  • #7   assiveProgressive

    This is what happens when Clarence Birdseye challenges the Jolly Green Giant in cornhole.

    Jun 24, 2014 at 11:17 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #8   Scotty

    Yep, corn does not really digest. Get over it!

    Jun 25, 2014 at 12:36 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      Yep, toilet does not really flush unless you pull the lever. Get over it and flush my mess for me!

      Jun 25, 2014 at 1:00 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Seanette

      Chewing one’s food helps digestion tremendously. If you’re simply gulping it whole, then yeah, a lot’s going to pass through.

      Jun 25, 2014 at 2:42 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #9   Scotty

    Yep, corn does not digest, really. Get over it!

    Jun 25, 2014 at 12:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #10   TRT

    Jeez. Someone’s got a cob up their arse.

    Jun 25, 2014 at 4:00 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #11   Kasaba

    Reading this in my lunch break. Hmmmm.

    Jun 25, 2014 at 6:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #12   Lil'

    Since you can’t count on him to flush it down, does that make him a corn flake?

    Jun 25, 2014 at 8:52 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      That comment was corny.

      Jun 25, 2014 at 1:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Lil'

      Aww shucks!

      Jun 25, 2014 at 2:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #13   underwatervulcan

    Don’t worry – that wasn’t from LAST night…

    Jun 25, 2014 at 10:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #14   Poopy Pants

    “for all to see”…..huh? How many people go poop with note writer?

    Jun 25, 2014 at 11:01 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   assiveProgressive

      Who the hell really STARES at that which has not been flushed. Sheesh. Flush it and STFU.

      Jun 25, 2014 at 5:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   The Elf

      It’s like a trainwreck. You can’t help but look.

      Jun 27, 2014 at 7:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   kermit

      The most impressive/disturbing toilet remnant I’ve seen was a turd the size of a huge loaf of bread – which obviously was not flush-able.

      The woman who produced that must have been some Amazonian-sized marvel because otherwise somebody’s bumhole must have literally been torn asunder. (And yes, Jami you guessed it, this was at a library bathroom).

      Jun 27, 2014 at 12:44 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #14.4   assiveProgressive

      um, geez, I don’t want to know what maintenance person was responsible for slicing it up and getting it through the city sewer system

      Jun 27, 2014 at 2:23 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.5   Belaani

      Maybe he’s into groop poops.

      Jun 29, 2014 at 3:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.6   kermit

      You mean goops? I thought only Gwyneth Paltrow was into that.

      Jun 29, 2014 at 6:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   kaetra

    If he’s posting the note in the bathroom that is getting corned, how is his note “not getting to the right dumpers”? Assuming the dumpers do come from another floor in the building, wouldn’t they see the note when the come to soil said toilet with their piles of corn shame?

    Jun 25, 2014 at 11:37 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      Oh I think we can reasonably assume that the corn dumpers have no shame.

      Jun 25, 2014 at 1:01 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Godiva

      The dumpers probably prefer not to stink up the restroom on their own floor. Also, it makes them “anonymous” because there’s never a chance of a co-worker entering the restroom after them, they assume.

      I wish that all bathrooms were stocked with toilet perfume. It makes crap not stink as badly, just spray it in the bowl before dropping a bomb. This wouldn’t solve the problem of people who lack the ability to flush a toilet, however.

      Jul 8, 2014 at 2:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   Lita bang

    I can’t believe this only JUST came to me – but clearly we’re dealing with children of the corn.

    Jun 25, 2014 at 6:08 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   kermit

      Don’t beat yourself up over it, Lita. It’s hard to pop kernels of wisdom on such a germane matter.

      Jun 25, 2014 at 8:32 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   assiveProgressive

      But don’t worry, we’re all ears, because you amaize us.

      Jun 25, 2014 at 11:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   TKD

      I should stop rating up Lita’s pun threads. She might accuse me of stalking.

      Jun 26, 2014 at 7:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   buni

      First cows, now corn. What else does Old MacDonald have on his farm?

      Jun 26, 2014 at 8:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   Lita bang

      Aw, TKD. Don’t leaf me alone! I like your uprates. ;)

      (really – it’s good to know this useless pun talent of mine is appreciated!)

      Jun 26, 2014 at 8:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.6   kermit

      It’s not useless at all, if you are enterprising enough.

      There is at least one pun competition in the US. If you want a job as a greeting card writer, ad copy writer or headline editor for publications, I bet those kinds of competitions are crawling with recruiters.

      Jun 26, 2014 at 6:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.7   assiveProgressive

      Don’t let anyone pooh-pooh your efforts. You are really making a splash.

      Jun 26, 2014 at 8:58 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.8   Lita bang

      Well, I was going to refrain from more puns, but I guess I’ll take the plunge…we’re all circling the drain anyway!

      I’d love to, Kermit, but as punny as I can be…I’m positive I’m not that good. I’m so positive that I’m an ion. :P

      Jun 26, 2014 at 10:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.9   TKD

      Not to get all negative on you Lita, but if you were positive, you would be a cation, not an ion :-)

      Keep them coming because you are like the guy who cut off his left hand.

      Jun 27, 2014 at 11:02 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.10   kermit

      Above all, she’s a free radical!

      I’m sorry, I’ll get my coat.

      Jun 27, 2014 at 12:39 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.11   TKD

      Be careful Kermit, it’s amino world out there :-)

      Cows to corn and now chemistry. It seems we are working our way backwards through the pun alphabet.

      Jun 27, 2014 at 1:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.12   Lita bang

      Aiee! You’re right, TKD, I don’t know why I was thinking ion. Well, in any case, thank you for the kind reaction. :D

      Boo, Kermit. Boo. I should tell you to be less liberal with the puns. :P

      Jun 27, 2014 at 2:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #17   The Elf

    Today’s advertisement is cracking me up: “Gotugo, nature calls. Let us service your special day.”

    Corn costs extra.

    Jun 26, 2014 at 9:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   Good Habits (@GoodHabits5)

    Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is wha­ I do……

    ➜➜➜➜ W­­W­­W.­­W­­O­­R­­­­K­­J­­U­­G.­­C­­O­­M­­

    Jun 28, 2014 at 9:27 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   DougiePassiveAggressive

    I wonder if people who write long notes that begin with “You must have a lot of free time on your hands…” ever stop half way through and realize what they’ve just done?

    Irony can be so ironic sometimes.

    Oct 8, 2014 at 5:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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