Have you called your mom lately?

June 29th, 2014 · 52 comments

Jaime and her husband live in a different state from her in-laws, but she’s not giving him a free pass. “To be honest, he really doesn’t call them as often as he should,” she says.

I love you, my son, no matter [if you don't call us very often!]

related: Better late than never?

FILED UNDER: guilt trip · Moms & Dads


52 responses so far ↓

  • #1   FeRD bang

    In hubby’s defense, it’s really hard to use the phone when you have no face.

    Jun 29, 2014 at 9:47 pm   rating: 66  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Otakinator

      FeRD makes an extremely salient point.

      After all, what good is a phone call…if you are unable to speak?

      Jul 1, 2014 at 1:45 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   DaveS

      They also can’t walk to the phone because some horrible accident twisted their ankles 90 degrees in opposite directions.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 3:43 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Janellionaire

    This card is so unnecessarily creepy. No faces, barefoot (why?), and WHERE IS THAT HAND GOING?

    Jun 29, 2014 at 10:26 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   kermit

      It’s trying to hide the fact that the hobo dress is made of two different fabrics.

      Maybe they chose the card of hobos to say that unless Jaime and her husband reach the dire straights of the shoeless hobos pictured card, they can afford to call more frequently.

      Jun 29, 2014 at 10:30 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   assiveProgressive

      What are those plants? They steal faces and shoes!!

      Jun 29, 2014 at 11:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   TRT

      They have the evil eyes.

      Jun 30, 2014 at 4:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Jami

      I have to say faceless things are even creepier than if you crossed a Weeping Angel with The Silence. Those Willow Tree figures from Hallmark give me nightmares. I keep forgetting the name of the movie, but there was this one about a woman who carved wood and she had been working for a long time on this statue of Jesus and he had no face cause “she couldn’t see it yet.” Far scarier to me than Freddy Krueger.

      If my mom sent me this card I’d be so scared I’d move and not tell her.

      Jun 30, 2014 at 12:37 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   kermit

      “Dire straights”? What crooked things was I thinking when I wrote that. Dire straits, indeed.

      Jun 30, 2014 at 8:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   DaveS

      Maybe the hobos were so desperate they sold their faces to science?

      Jul 1, 2014 at 3:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   The Elf

      We know you just wanted your MTV, Kermit.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 7:16 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   kermit

      ‘Tis true, Elf. I’m all about Median Terminal Value.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 4:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Jami

    I didn’t know Slenderman knew how to use a telephone.

    Jun 29, 2014 at 11:02 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   TKD

      Slendy uses telepathy.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 2:22 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Jami

      Really? I would think with all those tentacles he’d have other ways to reach out and touch someone.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 2:29 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   pooham

      Slendy. <3 :) <3

      Jul 1, 2014 at 3:54 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   TKD

    Shoe or face puns today? Oh, the inhumanity, it is crushing my sole.

    Jun 30, 2014 at 6:42 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Lita bang

      No one quite nose what today will bring…but it’s sure to be some highbrow humor!

      Jun 30, 2014 at 4:47 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Belaani

      Go with the shoes, TDK – they’ll give you a lift.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 5:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Jan

      Who nose what today will bring, Lita, but it will probably stink like old cheese.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 12:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   The Elf

      Jan for the win for combining the two!

      Jul 2, 2014 at 2:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Lita bang

      Agreed, Elf! Jan for the win. :D

      Jul 2, 2014 at 4:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Kasaba

    JT, NSYNC, Jane Fonda, Monster in Law

    I have that brown jacket.

    Jun 30, 2014 at 7:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   kaetra

    MIL has one of those phones that can only *receive* calls, I guess. I wonder if the PA card prompted a call?

    Jun 30, 2014 at 9:51 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   assiveProgressive

      My mother also has one of those phones.

      Jun 30, 2014 at 4:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Dane Zeller

    This is classic chicken/egg problem. Perhaps her willingness to chide him into calling her reveals a reason why he doesn’t call her much. Maybe when he calls her, she loads him up with a new batch of advice and discusses what he did with the last list of her recommendations. That’s just my opinion; I could be wrong. Not likely, though.

    Jun 30, 2014 at 10:47 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   pooham

      My Dad is like that. He always wants to run all of our lives. It used to be we should all move out to his place in the middle of the dismal desert and start a nut farm. My brother would go to school at the branch campus there. My nephews would go to school to learn to be linemen.

      Recently it’s that we should all invest in a food truck and sell liver and onions. But the nephews should still be linemen.

      These plans not only come by phone but also by mail. And they always include the role my Mom would be playing even though they’ve been divorced for nearly 30 yrs.

      Jun 30, 2014 at 11:19 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   ramentastic

      My parents always use the excuse that I am “so busy” they don’t want to disturb me, so they’ll just wait for me to call them. Thankfully we’ve all taken up texting, everyone is happier.

      Jun 30, 2014 at 2:34 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   kermit

      Pooham, you’re taking them the wrong way.

      Just look at Woody Allen, Neil Simon, Judd Apatow etc. The majority (if not all) of their writings is just them writing down all the stuff their parents/family tell them and then turning around to sell it for millions of dollars.

      Jun 30, 2014 at 3:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   pooham

      My Dad also

      re-arranged my pantry without asking me.
      bought me sourdough bread when I asked for wheat b/c he thinks it’s better.
      keeps bringing me boxes of oranges and grapefruits even though I’ve asked him every time to stop.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 12:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   assiveProgressive

      My mother keeps buying me clothes for holidays and birthdays, even though I’ve asked her to stop. I am debating whether to exchange the most recent purchase or just take it to Goodwill. It doesn’t help that she buys everything from the same old lady catalogs and all the other merchandise is just as ugly and ill-fitting. Even if I were 70, I don’t think I’d be wearing stuff from this company.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 4:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   K

      My mom keeps buying me XXL clothes to passive-aggressively send a message that I’m overweight. (I wear a medium or a large in most brands.) Joke’s on her, though. I know how to sew, and I can alter the clothes AND have a heckuva lot of fabric left over.

      I do call her, though.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 10:28 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   assiveProgressive

      I think my mother’s PA message is that the clothes I buy are horrible and her choices are superior. I see her several times a week, but that’s still not enough. Calling her is a real ordeal because she is soooo old she can’t pick up the phone in time or hear me saying hello. If I liked her I would invite her to move in with me, but I prefer to avoid becoming suicidal, so here we are.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 11:14 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   Kasaba

      I kinda want to meet pooham’s dad. he sounds interesting.

      when I used to live about 5km from my parents, I saw them maybe once every two weeks and when we talked we often had disagreements. since I’ve been living in a different country though, we talk to each other at least 30 mins to an hour each week, and the conversation is much more positive. sometimes I feel miserable and want to go home, but then I think my relationship with them would be worse again. like they’d be on my case all the time again, and when I am away, they are more concerned about my general well being and safety.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 4:04 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   The Elf

      Hit the nail on the head right there, Dane. If you have to chide, it’s not going to help.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 7:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   The Elf

      “Interesting”, Kasaba. Interesting to us, probably a lot less so to Pooham!

      Jul 2, 2014 at 7:11 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.11   Tesselara

      Isn’t there a curse that goes: “May your life be interesting?” (Thanks, Terry Pratchett!)

      Jul 2, 2014 at 8:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.12   Kelly

      My mom’s favorite form of passive aggressiveness is to have me try on clothes she doesn’t wear anymore (since my family is no longer in politics and I still have to dress week for work, but she just wears jeans and a tee every day.) Each time I find something I like, it’s met with, “Oh, good. I’ve lost too much weight to wear that any more,” or, “I didn’t realize how big that was when I bought it, I’m glad you like it!”
      I’ve mostly stopped letting myself raid her discard closet. It’s not worth the headache afterward. I want to meet pooham’s dad. He sounds entertaining at least.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 2:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.13   Jami

      I’ll trade your moms who buy you clothing too large for my mom who buys me clothing that’s too small insisting that I’ll lose weight to fit it or quoting Clinton & Stacy from What Not To Wear.

      I like my tops baggy and shapeless and she needs to accept that.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 3:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.14   Lita bang

      There’s also “May you live in interesting times”, Tesselara – supposedly an ancient Chinese curse. ;)

      Jul 2, 2014 at 4:12 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.15   pooham

      Kasaba, Kelly and all,

      My Dad has:
      built his front stairs from ancient gray government metal desks.
      used to have the top of a flight control tower on his land that he used as a sort of greenhouse/spa. There was an old bathtub inside it that he used to haul water to and then soak inside there.
      always has a grave pre-dug for a dog in case one dies. (He only has one left.)
      eats any questionably safe food. I have to make sure anything that may have turned is thrown out before he visits.
      had to be trained to not wipe his hands on the arms of my chair.
      still licks his ice cream bowl.
      makes the best popcorn (with bacon grease and white kernels).

      Jul 3, 2014 at 12:38 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.16   Kasaba

      Yup, you’ve just made him (I wrote “me” just then…awkward) sound even more awesome. Except for the wiping hands thing maybe. Everyone knows you wipe your hands on the curtains, c’mon.

      Jul 3, 2014 at 3:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.17   kermit

      My favorite part is the liver and onions food truck scenario. That’s comedy gold right there.

      It sounds like a storyline that would have been appropriate for “Arrested Development” (or some other Larry David comedy) similar to that episode where they open up a frozen banana stand.

      Jul 3, 2014 at 8:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Quite Contrary

    To quote every sorority girl I know, “I can’t. I just can’t.”

    Jun 30, 2014 at 11:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   TGIF

    Look! It’s Waldo’s shirt!!!

    Jun 30, 2014 at 8:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   LittleBirdy

    Why do all moms have the same handwriting?

    Jun 30, 2014 at 8:47 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Jami

      Cause they all graduated from The Stepford College For Moms.

      Jul 1, 2014 at 2:31 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   buni

      Handwriting was the big power struggle between my mom and me. For some reason, I was physically unable to hold the pen the way she thought I should. Her penmanship was beyond perfect but I inherited my dad’s scrawl. I once found a note pad that looked like it was covered in my handwriting, but when I read it, I didn’t recognize it at all. Then I realized it was my dad’s. I wish I had thought of that when I was in high school. I would have had him write all my excuses and sign my permission slips.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 7:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   assiveProgressive

      Sometimes my handwriting looks like my mother’s — gigantic letters — and as I get older it is starting to look shaky. But please, oh please, dear Creator, do not let my conversational style start to resemble hers.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 9:17 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Jami

      It’s actually a proven fact that the smarter you are, the messier your handwriting. It’s cause you’re trying to get your thoughts out as quickly as you think them so you scrawl instead of write neatly.

      Smarter people tend to be night owls as well.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 3:27 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Lita bang

      Everyone loves my handwriting. I’m not entirely sure why, it looks to me like a drunk spider stepped in an inkwell and staggered across the page. It is, however, readable, which is a miracle when one has almost no fine motor control.

      Jul 2, 2014 at 4:13 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Raichu

    Maybe she’s right that he doesn’t call his mother often enough, but it’s still inappropriate to complain about it in a card (especially by altering the text).

    Aug 10, 2014 at 12:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up