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Does your cat have a death wish?

July 28th, 2014 · 112 comments

Danielle in Baltimore says copies of this notice were posted on electrical poles, fences, and doors all around her apartment complex.

FILED UNDER: Baltimore · cats · clip art catastrophe · neighbors

112 responses so far ↓

#1 mb35

Wow, that’s creepy. It’s almost as if the writer is trying to say, “Next time I see your cat lying in the road, I will run it over!”

Jul 28, 2014 at 5:34 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #1.1 mb35
  
  I should have rephrased that – it’s as if the writer is hinting that the next time s/he sees the cat lying in the road, it will be run over.
  
  Jul 28, 2014 at 5:44 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 sam
  
  Really? I didn’t read it that way at all, I’d also be concerned that some driver would just run the cat over if it refuses to move for cars.
  
  Jul 28, 2014 at 9:14 pm rating: 91
- #1.3 Wench
  
  @ sam, yep,that’s what I read into it as well.
  
  Jul 28, 2014 at 10:17 pm rating: 90
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#2 kermit

Come on now, Internet, we can definitely arrive at a resolution on the indoor/outdoor cat debate issue the third or fourth (or whatever it is now) time around.

Jul 28, 2014 at 6:22 pm rating: 90

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#3 Feather Blade

The cat is obviously so disgusted with its life that it is trying to commit suicide-by-vehicle… and all of these inconsiderate drivers aren’t obliging it.

Seriously, this is when you pick the cat up, dump it in your back seat, drive it to the local animal shelter, and tell them it’s suicidal and needs to be kept under watch.

Jul 28, 2014 at 7:04 pm rating: 90

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- #3.1 kermit
  
  Animal shelter? I thought suicidal cats are supposed to be dropped off at the aquarium.
  
  Jul 28, 2014 at 8:15 pm rating: 90
- #3.2 Lil'
  
  Maybe he’s attempting to die by simply walking outside. Apparently cats are known to spontaneously combust when they come into contact with fresh air and sunshine. It’s the only animal on the planet ill-suited for the outdoors.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 8:28 am rating: 90
- #3.3 Tesselara
  
  Lil! hilarious!
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 10:14 am rating: 90
- #3.4 SFurst
  
  I love your reponse to the “suicide kitty” I wish I had the catty wit so many of my fellow humans seem to have. Keep it up, I bow to your genius.
  
  Aug 31, 2014 at 5:12 pm rating: 90
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#4 Iwill FindU

I don’t know that this is passive aggressive really. The cat is laying in the street so getting hit by a car is a very real risk here. Really the note writer is informing the owner of their cats very dangerous habit. If they keep letting their cat outside unsupervised it’s going to happen sooner or later. If the note writer didn’t care about the well-being of this cat they wouldn’t have taken the time to try to inform the owners. (I’m not saying they shouldn’t let the cat outside ever but maybe put it on a leash, or build a cool outside catrun they’re like a dogrun but it’ll keep your kitty safe)

Jul 28, 2014 at 8:33 pm rating: 90

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- #4.1 Christina
  
  Agreed. I didn’t think this not was passive-aggressive at all. It was helpful. I have a cat, and if he was lying in the road or doing other dangerous things, I would really appreciate my neighbors giving me a heads up instead of plowing over him. Team note-writer. They seem a-okay to me, and obviously like cats.
  
  Jul 28, 2014 at 9:09 pm rating: 90
- #4.2 Chinchillazilla
  
  Yeah, I mean, how else are they supposed to let the unknown owner know about this problem? Tie a scroll to the cat and make it deliver it?
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 1:44 am rating: 91
- #4.3 Chinchillazilla
  
  Yeah, I mean, how else are they supposed to let the unknown owner know about this problem? Tie a scroll to the cat and make it deliver it?
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 1:47 am rating: 90
- #4.4 ShadeTail
  
  Well, sure, it’s an attempt to inform the owner about the danger to their cat. But it’s done with that behind-the-back smug “politeness” that is so common among P.A. notes. So I disagree, this is definitely passive aggressive.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 11:35 am rating: 90
- #4.5 Raichu
  
  I think the passive-aggressiveness came more from the way the note was written than from its content.
  
  Aug 10, 2014 at 11:54 am rating: 90
- #4.6 B
  
  Yeah, I agree. I don’t see any passive aggressiveness here. It’s just a concerned person who doesn’t want a cat run over. They did it in a somewhat odd way, but it conveys the point, I suppose!
  
  Aug 11, 2014 at 5:41 pm rating: 90
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#5 OMG

Stand by with a paper sack and shovel, when said dead cat appears in the roadway scoop it up and return it to the Owner with Signs posted on sack and Saying … I TOLD YOU SO ! If the owner can”t be Located then Stick a sign in its paw in the middle of the street … I TOLD YOU SO .. signed dead b/w cat

Jul 28, 2014 at 9:06 pm rating: 90

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#6 Jami

I’m with U. Forget the note. Take the cat to a shelter. The owners don’t really love him anyway if they’re allowing him to lay in the street.

If he has owners. He could be a stray.

Jul 28, 2014 at 9:17 pm rating: 90

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- #6.1 Kasaba
  
  Listen, cat, I’m going to allow you to go and lie in the road now. It’s at your own risk, okay.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 2:09 am rating: 90
- #6.2 Iwill FindU
  
  My sister claims she loves her cat yet she lets her cats go outside knowing full well her one cat has the bad habit of running towards cars ( don’t know why, but the lucky furball has been geting away with it for 10 yrs now) One freaking day I pulled up to her house got out of the car and there’s her cat under the freaking fount bumper. I have no clue were the cat came from because I thought the road was clear. But I don’t need to guilt of running over her cat. So I kinda wish someone would whisk her cat off to a shelter, because she knows full well her cat does this. But keeps letting it out alone anyway.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
- #6.3 dd
  
  10 years outside without a problem?
  Sounds like the cat is doing perfectly fine.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 4:23 pm rating: 90
- #6.4 Iwill FindU
  
  No problem except dumb luck was the only thing that kept me from killing her cat. Really 6 inches to the left and her cat would have been a goner, and she’s almost run her own cat over a few times, but has slammed on the breaks at the last moment. Really shouldn’t count on luck to keep an animal alive it tends to run out at some point.
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 12:48 am rating: 90
- #6.5 dd
  
  I’m just saying, everything has to die sometime. Is it really such a tragedy if the owner lets the cat make it’s own choices and those choices result in death? Do we cry every time a deer stands around for one second too long and gets killed by a cougar?
  
  We allow humans to make bad choices all the time – they can smoke, binge drink, and overeat themselves to death whenever they want.
  
  Aug 4, 2014 at 2:24 pm rating: 90
- #6.6 Poltergeist
  
  The problem with that mindset is that by having a pet, you are taking on the responsibility for that pet’s wellbeing. If a dog that likes to chase after cars, would you think it was okay for the owner to just let the leash go and let the dog make its own decisions? No, of course not, so why is it any different with a cat?
  
  Yes, accidents happen, and yes, animals do die, but that doesn’t give you the right to be uncaring and negligent. You agreed to do your best to keep the animal safe, and if you don’t want to do that for whatever reason, you do NOT get a pet.
  
  Aug 4, 2014 at 3:00 pm rating: 90
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#7 Lisnya

I actually found my black and white long-haired cat in a similar situation. She was 8 weeks old and tiny as can be and she was sitting in front of a car’s wheel. The driver was begging her to get up and let him move but she didn’t care. I didn’t want to find her dead when I’d get back home, so I grabbed her.

Jul 28, 2014 at 10:03 pm rating: 90

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#8 Wench

Kitty may also be showing early signs of dementia. That’s what my cat used to do when she started to become unwell (she was about 14 years old at this point), she would just lay in the road. Luckily we lived in a quiet no-thru road and had great neighbors who would drive around her (!) so she never came to any harm, but once we realized she was losing her sense of self preservation/road safety we kept her indoors.

Jul 28, 2014 at 10:22 pm rating: 90

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- #8.1 The Elf
  
  I was thinking the same thing. That’s either a really dumb cat or an old one getting dementia. In either case, owner needs to know if owner wants to keep kitty around a little longer.
  
  And notewriter has no way of informing said demented cat’s owner.
  
  So, while I normally oppose the neighborhood PAN, I have to give thumbs up for this one. Plus I love the way it is written. “Love and Fishes”.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:49 am rating: 90
- #8.2 Lita
  
  I’d go with really dumb, myself. My old neighbor before I moved had a severely brain-damaged cat (no, seriously. This cat was not all there. At ALL.) who would often lay in the middle of the road. (She’d just stand there calling him in a sweet-as-pie voice instead of actually going to GET HIM OUT OF THE ROAD. Never worked.) He would also run out in front of cars when they drove by and try to jump on the hood, because neighbor lady always let him jump on HER car hood when she was pulling into the driveway. Apparently he liked it because it was very warm and he couldn’t wait five minutes for her to park.
  
  Sweet cat, though. Just very weird in the head.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 12:22 pm rating: 90
- #8.3 Betty Lou
  
  That happened to one of my cats when she got old. She took to napping in our driveway. One summer day when I was 17, the sun and shadows were such that I didn’t see her. I ran her over. It was awful. Team notewriter.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 7:12 am rating: 90
- #8.4 The Elf
  
  <> Betty Lou. I’m sorry.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 1:15 pm rating: 90
- #8.5 Dolly
  
  Your cat would still be alive if you kept it indoors.
  
  Aug 2, 2014 at 2:49 pm rating: 90
- #8.6 Rattus
  
  Dolly, you are a world-class twat.
  
  Aug 2, 2014 at 5:19 pm rating: 90
- #8.7 Dolly
  
  For what? Speaking the truth? There are many dangers to having an outdoors cat and that is one of them.
  
  Aug 2, 2014 at 11:51 pm rating: 90
- #8.8 assiveProgressive
  
  ”Your cat would still be alive” … So, she could maybe have a 37-year-old cat? Awesome.
  
  Aug 3, 2014 at 12:22 am rating: 90
- #8.9 Dolly
  
  How would any of us know her age? She could be 21 and then easily still have that cat being alive. Or she could be 60 and obviously the cat would not still be alive. The point is that the cat would have lived longer if it was kept indoors most likely and she would have been spared the heartbreak of running over her own cat.
  
  Aug 3, 2014 at 12:29 am rating: 90
- #8.10 Justme
  
  No, Dolly, not for speaking the truth but for being incredibly insensitive. Betty Lou shared a painful story about the death of her cat. You basically responded with , “You deserved it because you’re a terrible cat owner.” Your so-called truth will not bring the cat back and was clearly intended to be hurtful. Try developing a little empathy.
  
  Aug 3, 2014 at 8:28 am rating: 90
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#9 Urvogel

This is what happened to my partner’s old cat. He used to live in a quiet cul-de-sac and the cat would sunbathe on the warm asphalt. There was very little traffic so he was in no danger.

Then he moved next to a busy road and the cat still kept sunbathing on the warm asphalt. He didn’t have a cat for very long…

Jul 29, 2014 at 12:44 am rating: 90

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- #9.1 assiveProgressive
  
  Poor kitty!
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 1:03 am rating: 90
- #9.2 buni
  
  I occasionally dog-sit for a friend who lives on a dead-end road with very little traffic. So his dog is like your friend’s cat and has no road-fear. I live on a busy road and must keep the dog leashed at all times when we’re outside. The one time I didn’t, he took off to visit the lady across the street and ran right out into traffic. I nearly had a heart attack.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 7:49 am rating: 90
- #9.3 Tesselara
  
  I feel your near heart-attack pain. We sell firewood from our yard, and we have a clearly marked can. Unfortunately, we also live near the Quebec border, and the can is awfully confusing to those folks. SO, they’ll come to our door, offering to pay. One time, the dogs escaped. I was wearing a not-for-the public shirt, and I was cursing a blue streak as I ran after my “heading for the middle of the road like it was a dog magnet” dogs. I’m certain that guy never came back. I was still shaking for a half-hour afterwards.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 10:19 am rating: 90
- #9.4 The Elf
  
  ….. I’m dying to know what a “not for the public shirt” is and why it so scared the man that he never came back when it should have been really obvious why you were chasing dogs and cursing a blue streak. Was it a Cannibal Corpse concert T or something?
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 11:02 am rating: 90
- #9.5 Lita
  
  Now I want to know too…
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 12:23 pm rating: 90
- #9.6 Tesselara
  
  My boyfriend called it a “negligee.” It was actually a lacy tank top. But, he had a fair point, as I was wearing it for the same purpose as a negligee. (insert eyebrow waggling here).
  
  Honestly, I think it was really the cursing and the dogs that scared him off. (One of whom I wouldn’t let him touch, because she doesn’t like strangers grabbing her collar–a trait that I try to discourage in her, but secretly understand, because if I had a collar, I also would not approve of strangers grabbing ahold of it). Poor guy. He was just trying to pay for some wood, and instead of a straightforward money/wood transaction, he ended up with a half-naked woman, a lot of cussing, and “savage” dogs.
  And some wood.
  But mostly nakedness, cussing, and dogs.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 2:14 pm rating: 90
- #9.7 Tesselara
  
  And before anyone asks–I also wondered why I answered the door if I were wearing that item. (In my defense, the tank was very modest–the lace was just trim, and adequately covered the essentials, but I’m unfortunately endowed in that region, so really anything that isn’t up to my neck looks provocative).
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 2:17 pm rating: 90
- #9.8 Lil'
  
  I hear ya, Tesselara. I’m well-endowed myself and every tank top makes me look like I’m in the mood for love. Quick story – my husband had an elderly church buddy who would always show up unannounced. I hated it. He was so conservative (for lack of a better word) that he would sit outside in his car if he had to wait for my husband to get home rather than come inside. He stopped doing that after my then two-year-old son jerked the blinds open when he rang the door bell and I was standing there in a spaghetti-strap top and boy shorts. He turned his face away and hurried down the driveway. He never showed up again. I don’t quite know how to take that…
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 3:08 pm rating: 90
- #9.9 Tesselara
  
  That’s hilarious! I was going to add in my previous post–that contrary to “conventional wisdom,” the vast majority of guys are actually kind of freaked out by half-naked women that they are not expecting. They might kind of like it, but they also find it incredibly awkward and sort of horrifying.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:04 pm rating: 90
- #9.10 Poltergeist
  
  “He was just trying to pay for some wood, and instead of a straightforward money/wood transaction, he ended up with a half-naked woman, a lot of cussing, and “savage” dogs.
  And some wood.”
  
  I’ve got a cameraman and a fluffer on speedial if you want to make this happen.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:49 pm rating: 90
- #9.11 Tesselara
  
  This guy wasn’t photogenic enough, sadly.
  
  ….do you know what a bear is?
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 7:02 pm rating: 90
- #9.12 Poltergeist
  
  I, as a gay guy, have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. O:-)
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 7:19 pm rating: 90
- #9.13 The Elf
  
  Why didn’t your boyfriend answer the door? Oh, yeah, the negligee. The visitor wasn’t the first man to have gotten wood at your place that day. It also explains why the dogs were so eager to escape. The story is falling together now…..
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 6:45 am rating: 90
- #9.14 Tesselara
  
  He was outside in the garden picking veggies, or he would have gotten the door (the top was a surprise that the firewood client saw before my boyfriend). Sadly, the only wood in this scenario is the fire kind.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 11:32 am rating: 90
- #9.15 JoDa
  
  Can I just comment on how “Canada” your post is? Please? I really mean it as a compliment!
  
  You set firewood out in your yard for sale, with a “can” for people to pay for it. And you’re *offended* that people come to your door to pay for it! I’m not snarking on your offense of them coming to the door, but rather remarking on the fact that you use the honor system, and your problem with it is that people don’t notice the receptacle for the money and come to your door to PAY FOR THE FIREWOOD LAYING OUT IN YOUR YARD!
  
  Several years ago I had a fireplace, but no direct access to our back yard for the delivery folks. I figured “I live in a good neighborhood, I can just stack it in my not-visible-from-the-street entry nook and no one will notice…who steals firewood, anyway?” I had to haul what was left through the house to the back yard when almost a quarter of it came up missing after 2 days.
  
  In this regard, Canada beats America, hands down (also, moving 3/4 of a half-cord by hand, including going up 6 steps into the back yard, SUCKS!)
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 9:54 pm rating: 90
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#10 rushgirl2112

I just want to know what the cat was laying in the street. An egg? Bricks? Some sod? A bit of poo?

Jul 29, 2014 at 1:02 am rating: 90

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- #10.1 assiveProgressive
  
  Maybe it was trying to get laid
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 1:04 am rating: 90
- #10.2 juniper
  
  Wow- I don’t often come across the lie/lay pedant. I thought they were a myth at this point. The internet must drive you mad if you’re still fighting the lie/lay fight.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:23 am rating: 90
- #10.3 EssKay
  
  I’m with rushgirl2112, fighting the lay/lie fight to the bitter end!
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 11:36 am rating: 90
- #10.4 The Elf
  
  I’ll lie down my life for the lay/lie fight.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 2:55 pm rating: 90
- #10.5 rushgirl2112
  
  Uh, jupiter? It was a joke, dude. Calm down.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 2:57 am rating: 90
- #10.6 rushgirl2112
  
  *juniper
  
  Sorry, I’m obviously a little spacy at the moment.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 2:59 am rating: 90
- #10.7 assiveProgressive
  
  I like Jupiter better
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 12:17 pm rating: 90
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#11 juniper

I have an uncle that aims for animals in the road.

Jul 29, 2014 at 6:28 am rating: 90

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- #11.1 The Elf
  
  Alas, I have a relative that does so too. He especially hates cats. He also poisoned the neighbor’s dog who kept getting into his yard.
  
  He’s a real winner, that one.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:50 am rating: 90
- #11.2 Rattus
  
  Someone thumbed the animal-killing uncle? My eyes they are a-rollin’.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 7:52 am rating: 90
- #11.3 Rattus
  
  Someone thumbed the animal killing uncle? My eyes, they are a-rollin’.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 8:24 am rating: 90
- #11.4 Tesselara
  
  Wow. I bet he’s awfully charming to humans, too.
  
  In VT, there are quite a few (older generation, especially) folks who aim at animals on the road. Then there’s the bragging. I really don’t understand.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 10:21 am rating: 90
- #11.5 The Elf
  
  One of the thumbs was mine – out of sympathy for dealing with such a relative, not out of support for aiming for animals.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 11:04 am rating: 90
- #11.6 Lita
  
  Before I moved out here, I lived next door to a guy who’d purposely swerve all over the road to hit a cat if it even dared put one paw half an inch off the sidewalk. Friggin douchetractor.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
- #11.7 Rattus
  
  Fair enough, Elf. Too much time spent on the internet, ya know – the tendency is to believe the worst.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 1:21 pm rating: 90
- #11.8 EffingReally
  
  Maybe someone will do him the favor and aim for him next time he’s crossing the street.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:23 pm rating: 90
- #11.9 EffingReally
  
  Maybe someone will do him the favor and aim for him next time he’s crossing the street.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:23 pm rating: 90
- #11.10 Iwill FindU
  
  Unlikely the repair bill for hitting a human is way more then hitting an animal. Speaking from experience (hit a deer once it ran into the drivers side of my car well I was watching his buddies on the passengers side of the road) hitting an animal cost me nothing really didn’t even cost me the deductible, but I did have to prove it was a deer which was easy with all the hair on my car. I don’t think the insurance would cover hitting a person, plus the cops would be involved.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 8:58 pm rating: 90
- #11.11 Zehirah
  
  You’re lucky – here it’s not uncommon for a car that’s hit a roo to be written off due to the extent of the damage.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 9:58 pm rating: 90
- #11.12 buni
  
  You’re lucky you didn’t hit the deer head on. I’ve seen cars nearly totaled after hitting a deer at highway speed.
  My Dad hit one at about 35-40 mph and had to replace the whole front of his car – bumper, grill, headlight, etc.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 8:11 am rating: 90
- #11.13 Lita
  
  Oh geez, deer. Was on a road trip with the family once – a deer ran out in front of us. We were in a minivan. Neither deer nor van survived, although van came off much better fthan deer did.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 12:27 pm rating: 90
- #11.14 Iwill FindU
  
  Yeah the only damage was a huge dint in the divers side door from were it had ran into the side of the car, and we lost the rear turn signal which was all easy enough to fix. We had already slowed down because we had noticed the 3 deer ahead of time in the ditch on the passenger side, we just weren’t expecting one to come at us from the other side of the road so we were maybe doing 60klm ph which is slower then the posted 100lkm.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 12:33 pm rating: 90
- #11.15 Lita
  
  Pretty much the entire front half of the minivan was…very close to being completely sheared off. The battery ended up in four pieces (and only didn’t end up in my mother’s lap because the firewall between engine compartment and cabin BARELY held), the hood was mangled beyond belief and wouldn’t close again…thankfully the deer JUST missed the windshield or I doubt any of us would be alive today. BIG deer.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 1:42 pm rating: 90
- #11.16 labdude
  
  I hit a flippin’ pony a few years back. Damn thing ran out from a blind driveway right in front of me. It did about 3K worth of damage to the front of my Taurus (hood, grill, fender, door). I thought for sure I had killed/mangled the thing. When I finally recovered from the shock, I saw the damn thing standing in the yard eating grass like nothing had happened. He had a small cut on one shoulder but was otherwise fine. The owner insisted on *not* getting the insurance co. involved and paid for the repairs himself.
  Animals, even relatively small ones, can be *tough*
  
  Aug 1, 2014 at 12:00 pm rating: 90
- #11.17 JoDa
  
  You’d be surprised about the aiming for humans thing. I’ve had a few drivers do just that, and made it pretty obvious (changed lanes without reason, stared me down as they throttled the gas, etc.). I don’t understand it, but then a columnist insinuated that the $500 fine for negligently hitting a cyclist might be worth it, and I realized that, yes, Virginia, there are people that self-centered that they would risk another’s life, serious damage to their vehicle, and hundreds of dollars in fines to save the 5 seconds they’d have to slow down while someone outside of a car passed.
  
  Aug 2, 2014 at 8:25 pm rating: 90
- #11.18 Dana
  
  I hit a deer going 50mph one time. My old car that I had at the time was kind of a tank (’94 Mercury Topaz), and admittedly it was a doe on the smaller side, but I hit it dead-on. Had to repair a headlight and get part of the hood bent back into place. Cost me $176.
  
  My mother hit one while driving a ’96 Ford Taurus a couple years before that. Now that’s the car you wanna drive if you’re in deer country. Whole herd of deer ran out in front of our car and we hit one of them. Not a scratch on the car.
  
  Aug 3, 2014 at 1:53 am rating: 90
- #11.19 JoDa
  
  HA! My comment ended up being timely. Stepped out on a walk today, car zipping around the corner slammed on the brakes. I took another step, and they simultaneously laid on the horn and the gas.
  
  Too bad for them I had a bag of lunch dishes from work…at the bottom a steel water bottle. I *just* clipped the side of their rear panel, and judging from the bang, they’re going to be in need of a body shop.
  
  Aug 4, 2014 at 5:49 pm rating: 90
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#12 MotherOfTheYear

You know in the time it took to make this flier, print out a bunch of copies, and plaster them all over the neighborhood, this lady probably could’ve knocked on a handful of doors and figured out who the cat belonged to, instead of writing this sort of helpful but somehow still creepy note.

Nahhh that’d be too much like being an adult. Fun signs everyone!

Jul 29, 2014 at 11:49 am rating: 90

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- #12.1 EffingReally
  
  You have no idea how big that apartment complex is. It could be really really big, and honestly do you want to knock on several doors going “Do you own a black and white cat? No, ok.” Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Or write something real quick, print a few copies and put them up. The second actually seems easier than the first. And maybe she did ask some people, but seriously who knows how many apartment buildings with how many floors make up that complex.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 6:26 pm rating: 90
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#13 Lita

Okay, I gotta admit, this note was kinda cute. And I do side with the note writer, thanks to previously living across the street from a lady who would let her cats do exactly the same thing. She really shouldn’t have owned cats – I suppose she thought she was taking very good care of them (she’d forego buying her own groceries or the medicine she badly needed so she could buy them whole rotisserie chickens and burgers from Burger King (they didn’t like McDonald’s. I am NOT even kidding.), she wouldn’t let them in the house – she’d actually pick them up and put them back outside if they dared sneak in because “oh I don’t want my kitties to be all cooped up!”…things like that.) but uh, well, she was delusional in more than one way.

(Disclaimer: she had Very Good Reasons to be so delusional. She pretty much snapped when her husband died of a heart attack while jogging. I really did feel very sorry for her, but…oh, those poor cats.)

Jul 29, 2014 at 12:32 pm rating: 90

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- #13.1 Feather Blade
  
  they didn’t like McDonald’s
  
  They were discerning cats, with well developed palates.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 1:01 pm rating: 90
- #13.2 Lita
  
  Hah, I suppose. I’d just never met cats that ate fast food often enough to have a preference. Or at all, in fact! She never fed them actual kibble, it was almost entirely people food and the rest was horrendously expensive canned food that the cats hated, but the neighborhood raccoons loved…
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 1:07 pm rating: 90
- #13.3 Jen McCall
  
  Maybe the kitty is sick, at worse has beginning stages of rabies.
  
  Jul 29, 2014 at 4:52 pm rating: 90
- #13.4 assiveProgressive
  
  At least Lita’s neighbor wasn’t feeding them Taco Bell. Cats cannot resist a roasted chicken, I know that for a fact.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 2:08 am rating: 90
- #13.5 The Elf
  
  That is true. Cats cannot restist a roasted chicken. One day I was picking the chicken after dinner and one of my cats – the crazy one – stole the chicken. He just jumped up on the counter and in one bold swift move, grabbed it by the backbone and was off and running. I chased him throughout the house screaming “GIVE ME BACK MY CHICKEN YOU FUCKING BASTARD”. He kept growling at me as he drug the greasy thing all over the carpet. Finally I caught him and had to pry it out of his mouth. He’s kind of a small cat – the chicken was almost the same size as him.
  
  Of course I threw the carcass out and cleaned the carpeting. The next morning I was packing lunch (not the chicken salad sandwich I was looking forward to eating) and I felt the cabinet door bump into my knee. I looked down just in time to see a growling furry streak leave the room. Damn cat stole the carcass out of the trash. I chased him all over the house. Only this time, since my husband was asleep, I was whispering *give me back my chicken you fucking bastard*. It did not have the same effect. He ran up the stairs towards the bedroom, but because his face was full of chicken he couldn’t see the door was locked and ran straight into it at full kitty gallop. He was momentarily stunned enough to drop the prize. I tripped on the stairs and fell on top of him and the chicken. I grabbed it, he grabbed it, and we both pulled. The chicken gave. I ended up flat on my back, covered in chicken that had been in the trash, and he made out with a chunk of skin and meat. This made enough noise to wake my husband who threw open the door and bellowed “What is going on out here?” Then he looked at me, in my nice work clothes, sprawled on the floor and covered in chicken, and laughed. I am grateful that he lacked the presence of mind to grab a camera.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 7:00 am rating: 90
- #13.6 Lita
  
  Elf, I think I love your cat.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 12:29 pm rating: 90
- #13.7 buni
  
  I once saw a tiny kitten run away with a slice from a party pizza.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 12:46 pm rating: 90
- #13.8 kermit
  
  Elf, I hope you learned something from this, and in the future will just give in the demands of your furry overlord.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 12:47 pm rating: 90
- #13.9 The Elf
  
  Yeah, I really need to learn my place in the house that I pay for.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 1:12 pm rating: 90
- #13.10 kermit
  
  Pro tip: Never throw carcasses in the garbage bin. Tale them apart and use them to make your own chicken stock (or beef stock of whatever). If you have the yard space, just directly compost what’s left. That way, if your cat/dog/Martian will just dig up your garden instead of soiling the carpets and your work clothes.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 1:53 pm rating: 90
- #13.11 Tesselara
  
  Okay, Elf, that story was so funny that I snot-laughed.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 6:44 pm rating: 90
- #13.12 Ponytail
  
  I wrap the carcass up in tin foil, as it stops the foxes getting into it too. Animals seem to hate the metallic feel/taste.
  
  Aug 1, 2014 at 9:04 am rating: 90
- #13.13 assiveProgressive
  
  I thought you weren’t supposed to put meat, grease, etc. In compost piles.
  
  Aug 3, 2014 at 12:28 am rating: 90
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#14 Ana

Okay apparently I’m the only one who thinks that the cat owner might have written this note as a warning to people around. If it was the cat owner damn they are a horrible pet owner making their cat’s problem everyone’s instead of keeping it indoors or giving the cat away to someone who lives in the country. But maybe everyone else is right, and I’m wrong. but it is another possible circumstance that could have led to the note.

Jul 29, 2014 at 8:27 pm rating: 90

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- #14.1 Kiskia
  
  The last paragraph makes me think it’s not the cat owner that made the sign. If the cat owner was that cognizant of the fact their cat could be run over at any moment and not everyone would make it move or go around, then someone really needs to get that cat to a new forever home quick.
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 6:05 am rating: 90
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#15 Lidna

I had a cat that began to do this when he was 18 years old. The asphalt is a nice warm place to sleep come the fall, and he was totally deaf. Cars would honk, and he wouldn’t move. When I saw this, I brought him inside for six months until summer, when hopefully it would be too hot to keep doing. HE WAS NOT HAPPY those six months, and I feel for anyone trying to keep an outdoor cat IN for any length of time. When I did let him out, he ran away, age 19. I saw him on a neighbor’s porch a few weeks later, and then never again.

Jul 30, 2014 at 12:23 am rating: 90

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- #15.1 The Elf
  
  It works better when the cat has been mostly or entirely indoors since kittenhood.
  
  Jul 30, 2014 at 7:03 am rating: 90
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#16 Roxy Random

Our next-door neighbor yells at the cat when she crosses onto his lawn. How does he expect her to know where the dividing line between properties is? (Fun fact, which we’ve never told him: we had the land surveyed about twenty years ago, before this dipwad moved in, and the actual property line is about two feet over on his side So technically, we own two feet of his lawn. I’ll be sure and tell the cat.)

Jul 30, 2014 at 6:57 pm rating: 90

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- #16.1 Iwill FindU
  
  You want PA my dad’s been having problems with his neighbor as of late, because the guy has decided that the shed that’s been there 30 yrs is suddenly encroaching on his driveway. So my dad got a survey done. Turns out the property line is down the middle of the guys driveway, and the shed is in no way encrouching. And in true PA fashion my dad is waiting for the guy to go out of town so he can put up a fence right down the middle of his driveway.
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 12:59 am rating: 90
- #16.2 buni
  
  Don’t even get me started on neighbor-property line-disputes. I share a driveway with my next-door neighbor. She has a garage, but only uses it in the winter. All other times her vehicle is parked right on the property line which makes it difficult for me or any of my guests to turn around in my half of the driveway. I also once overheard the women across the street arguing over whether one intentionally blew grass clippings onto the other’s property. No notes have been exchanged however.
  
  Jul 31, 2014 at 9:22 am rating: 90
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#17 Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

This doesn’t make any sense. If the cat thought it shouldn’t be outside, why did it write a note to itself and then post it all over the neighbourhood?

Aug 1, 2014 at 6:46 am rating: 90

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#18 Belaani

That’s what water uzis are for… how many times do you think the cat would get blasted before it would stop laying in the street? And in the meantime ( I repeat, MEANtime! ) – entertainment!

Aug 2, 2014 at 1:09 pm rating: 90

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- #18.1 assiveProgressive
  
  That’s actually not a bad idea; do it enough times and maybe kitty will start lounging in a safe place (indoors, I hope)
  
  Aug 3, 2014 at 12:35 am rating: 90
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#19 Dolly

The note writer is trying to be nice because this cat is not long for this world. If it is a large apartment complex that cat will eventually meet someone who does not care to run him over or won’t see him in time to stop. So I guess they wanna let the owner know that either keep your cat inside or prepare for a kitty funeral.

I would not move a random cat out of my way. I am too afraid of it scratching or biting me or it carrying something nasty like ringworm (which I did get from a friend’s cat once). So for me, I would just slowly roll forward and either it moves or gets run over.

Aug 2, 2014 at 3:01 pm rating: 90

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- #19.1 The Elf
  
  Those are the only two options? You would rather run it over than, say, honk the horn? Stop the car and shoo it at a safe distance or with an object? Go around it? Reverse the car and try a different route? Ask for help from passerbys to move the cat? It’s just “move or I will slowly crush you”? Wow.
  
  I’m a fan of indoor cats too, especially in apartment complexes where the car is the primary predator and the liklihood of psycho neighbors is high. But dang, that’s *harsh* Dolly.
  
  Aug 4, 2014 at 6:46 am rating: 90
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#20 Click Here

The last paragraph sounds so sad. This really points out not just indoor cats but also stray cats. These adorable pets should really be taken care properly to avoid this to happen.

Aug 6, 2014 at 6:42 am rating: 90

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#21 kaetra

If your cat is a nuisance to your neighbors then *you* are a nuisance to your neighbors. Your pet, your responsibility. After 5 long years of a neighbor’s outdoor, non-neutered male cats spraying my doors and crawlspace vents they finally moved away. Thank goodness. I hated those cats! Nothing we tried kept them away, including expensive motion detecting water sprayers. Little bastards. Cat crap everywhere too. The number of unwanted kittens those non-spayed/neutered cats produced was simply cruel and shameful.
You have a fixed outdoor cat that doesn’t bother anyone it’s not a huge deal to me. But sometimes that’s just not the case.

Aug 6, 2014 at 4:34 pm rating: 90

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#22 DougiePassiveAggressive

All this talk about outdoor cats makes me feel nostalgic for San Diego. No problems with outdoor cats in San Diego, we had coyotes! There were lots of signs, though… “Have you seen fluffy?”

Oct 8, 2014 at 4:45 pm rating: 90

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