As Ed Hardy said, “Flushing kills slowly”

August 11th, 2014 · 68 comments

Our submitter says this note was posted in a Princeton University restroom by his coworker, who had become “completely obsessed with finding out who didn’t flush the urinal after using it.” After posting the note, he began to discreetly check the urinal every time he saw someone leave the restroom.

“Eventually he identified the culprit, and that individual was appropriately shunned,” says our submitter. “At least he kept his oath to God!”

As Ed Hardy said, "Flushing kills slowly"


related: Were you raised by wolves? (a flowchart)

FILED UNDER: college life · New Jersey · office · reverse psychology · toilet

68 responses so far ↓

  • #1   FeRD bang

    I feel like our submitter here must be using “discreetly” in a sense I’m not familiar with, as nothing about this post communicates discretion. Or sanity.

    The notewriter definitely doth protest too much, though, with his “creepy little pisslover” f̵a̶p̶p̶a̶g̶e̶ accusations.

    Aug 11, 2014 at 4:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   DaveS

      They didn’t say the sign was discreet. That would defeat the purpose of the sign. But he would discreetly check the urinals after various guys used the restroom to track down the culprit.

      He had to be discreet or people would have gotten the wrong idea – like that he was cruising the men’s room for something else.

      And I don’t think he protests too much. While I wouldn’t go to the lengths this guy did, there is no excuse for not flushing at work. Your co-workers don’t want you to share your piss with them! If you’re so enamored of the smell of your piss, then leave containers of it around your house, but flush at work!

      Aug 12, 2014 at 1:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Tesselara


      Aug 12, 2014 at 3:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Otakinator

    Gosh, that’s a lot of tape.

    Given the locale, though…actually, it’s fairly pragmatic. You wouldn’t want your PAN to suffer the indignity of stains from unflushed splash-age, would you?

    Aug 11, 2014 at 4:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   The Elf

      I sense a deeper trend. He used an excess of tape and obsessively stalked men in the bathroom. Dude needs to let. it. go.

      Of course, the non-flusher also needs to let it go down the freakin’ drain. Indoor plumbing is the veneer of civilization that separates us from the beasts.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Nocturnesthesia

      Agreed, this is a little obsessive. It’s really freaking difficult to be a bigger asshole than the person who consistently can’t or won’t flush the toilet, but this note writer just might have managed it.

      Aug 15, 2014 at 7:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   SparkyRell

    “Not flushing it not cool”

    Aug 11, 2014 at 5:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      I think he might have lost people in the double negatives.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   ummm

    Maybe the culprit was trying to save water?

    I mean, I understand getting mad about leaving a number 2 in the urinal, or not flushing the really gross stuff, but pee isn’t that that bad, all things considered.

    Aug 11, 2014 at 5:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Jami

      Except when you pee water splashes back up. I don’t want some stranger’s urine on me.

      Aug 11, 2014 at 6:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Iwill FindU

      Also left to mellow for to long and pee can really stink up a place.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 12:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   ummm

    Oh! My own comment reminded me of a funny story. Well, funny to me. It’s pretty disgusting.

    My friend was pregnant and suffering from some really terrible morning sickness while at work. She worked retail, so she tended to run to the closest bathroom in the store, which wasn’t always the employee bathroom. One day, she was preemptively heading to the restroom, because her MS hit like clockwork and she was about 2 minutes until go time. She got to the restroom and went into the handicapped stall (she had trouble turning around in the really narrow other ones) and there was this horrific masterpiece of feces and blood and vomit and the good Lord knows what else. Clearly, this exacerbated her morning sickness. She tried to run and hold in the backlash, but she couldn’t, and ended up spewing on the floor and wall. She then continued to try and leave, and puked through her nose. At that point she just gave up, sat down on the floor and started sobbing. Apparently she pressed her walkie button while doing so, because basically the entire staff came rushing to find her after hearing sobbing over their radios.

    This is where it gets better: Her manager helped her up, cleaned her off, bought her an entirely new outfit from the store (shoes and all), and sent her home early. When she came back to work the next day, the employees had a cake for her. It was really sweet.

    Also, apparently the people tasked with cleaning it up got sick too and it was a huge vomitornado.

    Aug 11, 2014 at 5:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   jugstopper

      I would have begged to be shot.

      Aug 11, 2014 at 11:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Poltergeist

      Yikes. I bet that incident scarred her so badly that her baby was born with PTSD.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 5:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   deprogrammed

      Please don’t tell the SciFi Channel – or the third installment will be Sharkvomitnado – this time they’re pregnant!

      Aug 12, 2014 at 1:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Tesselara

      A retail worker story that ends in happiness and not suckage! Wow. (Well, except for the blood, feces, and vomitage from the person who clearly decided that they are above cleaning up their horrifying mess, and left it to the lesser beings). Nonetheless–awesome manager! You never hear about that!

      Aug 12, 2014 at 3:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   underwatervulcan

    Arrgghh. There be a pisslover.

    Aug 11, 2014 at 10:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Poltergeist

    Not flushing your piss is lazy and kinda gross, but I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as “creepy.” No, what’s creepy is some weirdo waiting around monitoring who uses the restroom and sneaking in to inspect the urinals every time somebody leaves.

    Notewriter deserves a more severe shunning than the chronic non-flusher.

    Aug 12, 2014 at 6:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   kermit

      If you’ve ever been down on your luck enough to clean bathrooms for a living, you wouldn’t be saying that. I agree that it’s not “creepy” so much as inconsiderate and douchey. And since it’s Priceton, I’m inclined to think that the bathroom stalker is a former work-study person who had to clean bathrooms to make rent.

      Try cleaning a bathroom that reeks of urine because the last person who left the office several hours ago didn’t think he should bother to flush or throw his gum in the garbage.

      To be fair, I do give a fair amount of leeway on the flushing thing because plenty of places have those motion-detector urinals that don’t work and/or flushing buttons that aren’t immediately evident. This doesn’t seem to be the case here, though.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 7:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Poltergeist

      I agree that it’s gross and inconsiderate, and I do sympathize with and respect the people who clean the bathrooms, but it’s still not “creepy.” What the notewriter was doing was obsessive and creepy.

      And you have to admit, pee that actually made it into the toilet is far from the worst thing you could find in a bathroom. Use your foot to flush the toilet and presto! Problem solved.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 10:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Otakinator

      I can accept that he might have meant well, but yeah, notewriter be creepy, yo…and also kind of amusing.

      I’m picturing this…
      …but with a Minecraft creeper.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 10:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   Jami

      I spent a summer cleaning beach restrooms. I’ve had to shovel feces off the floor. I can understand why they staked out the restroom.

      Frankly, just like I think every single person, no matter what their income bracket, should spend one to two years working retail, so too should everyone have to spend some amount of time cleaning public restrooms. Maybe cleaning feces out of a urinal will teach them to be more considerate.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 11:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   DaveS

      Yes it IS creepy not to flush after using the urinal! Any time someone feels compelled to leave their bodily fluids around to be discovered by someone else, that is the definition of creepy! I don’t care what bodily fluid it is.

      And these creeps never do it just once. That could be just an honest mistake. But they constantly do this. At least when they’re alone in the men’s room and no one else can see them walking away from the urinal without flushing. It’s like it is a compulsion with these people.

      We’ve had someone doing this in the men’s room near my office for over a year – since there was a big re-organization that shifted offices all over the building. Almost every day there is piss left in one of the urinals. The rare days when I don’t see that are probably ones where the culprit wasn’t alone, or maybe someone else flushed it after him.

      But luckily it shouldn’t be happening anymore because they’ve been updating our bathrooms and just yesterday they installed those automatic flushing urinals.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 1:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   Tesselara

      I would like to clarify that the submitter claims that it was a coworker doing the creepy pissing peeping, and not the submitter. That said, this smacks of “my…uh… friend has a problem…”

      Aug 12, 2014 at 3:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   The Elf

      Could be worse. Could be a hoverer. At least the non-flusher got it in the urinal.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.8   The Elf

      Otakinator, love the Minecraft creeper reference!

      It’s apt – when he figured out who it was, he got close and exploded (in anger).

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.9   dd

      I like how around here we’re all about “Why didn’t the notewriter just, go up to the person and y’know, TALK to them?” without considering the stalkerish lengths a person would have to go through to figure out who exactly was doing the wrong in order to confront them personally.

      Well, this guy did exactly what you people wanted, and now you’re all up on him talking about his excessive behavior! You can’t have it both ways!

      Aug 14, 2014 at 4:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.10   Poltergeist

      Different actions are appropriate for different situations. So actually yes, we can have it both ways.

      Aug 14, 2014 at 4:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.11   kermit

      Fair enough, but then the only advice in this situation is to not say/do anything and just put up with the offensive behavior.

      Aug 15, 2014 at 7:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   TKD

    This note has me pissed off! ;-)

    As Jami pointed out, it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on! Just pull the handle, push the button or wave your arms around the sensor, whatever it takes to flush the damned urinal. Show a little courtesy.

    Aug 12, 2014 at 7:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   TKD

      And if you run a business that has installed one of the new “waterless” urinals, have some compassion and throw a bucket of ice in it once in a while. I’ve never stood in front of one of those things that did not smell like the downwind side of an outhouse.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 7:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   labdude

      I swear that someone invented those ‘zero flush’ urinals just for some good ol’ PA revenge against the militant greenies…
      “Oh, so you want to save water? Here you go, save all the water you want – in a week you’ll be *begging* me for some water to ‘waste’… FOOLS! I’ll show you! I’ll show you ALL! Muaahahahahhahahah…”

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   blueknight1st

    Dude, settle down it’s just a little pee it’s not like someone dropped a deuce in the urinal.

    Aug 12, 2014 at 9:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   knitchic

    This happened every morning at the grocery store where I work. Someone who helped stock in the morning kept leaving his pee in the bowl and walking away, since we have unisex bathrooms everyone got their share in finding it. One lady took such offense she stalked the restrooms until she found the offender and chewed him out for being a “disgusting caveman” and a chauvinist pig”. Turns out that the guy was just trying to conserve water as we were in the middle of a drought. Unless I have to wipe up “splashback” I really couldn’t care less if I have to flush someone else’s pee. And how does the note poster know that it was always this same person anyway? (Picturing full hasmat gear and a home DNA kit)

    Aug 12, 2014 at 10:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   DaveS

      So how much water was he saving if the next person had to flush the toilet before using it?

      Nobody is going to use a toilet filled with a stranger’s piss without flushing it first. It’s disgusting and no one will want to risk splash-back from it. And this guy should know that. It’s a BS excuse.

      If he really wants to save water, he can do it at home where he’s not grossing out his co-workers or the general public.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 2:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   pooham

      How much water does not flushing a urinal save?

      In the future the “Go Girl” devices will be how women pee in public restrooms to save water.

      By the way, my Dad created and patented a similar device back in the 80s that he called the UP2.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 3:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Jami

      Go Girl isn’t even all that original. In the camping magazines you could find Jonny On The Spot. It featured a small flexible tube so a woman could pee standing up without having to pull her pants down, just open up the fly like a man, slip the cup in, stick the tube out, and pee. It was way more discreet than Go Girl which requires you to pull your pants and panties down at least enough to uncover your entire butt if not further.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 5:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   pooham

      There are several female urinary devices (FUDs) out there. I had no idea until I just did a search.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 6:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   JoDa

      If you’re sufficiently in the woods, does it really make that much of a difference?

      We got stuck in a traffic jam in China one time on a work trip, and as we inched forward, I kept an eye on the side of the road for some cover. After a few hours, we happened upon a stand of bushes, and I darted out of the car. When I came back, my male companions were all “impressive.” I looked at them and said “you realize this WHOLE COUNTRY has squatties, and this is my *6th* time here? All I need is some cover.” They honestly had no idea I had been squatting to pee not only for the last week of that trip, but for all the previous excursions to said country. I actually don’t mind them, particularly in busy restrooms…since you’re not touching anything, it’s MUCH cleaner!

      But, yeah, I still flush the squatty, even when the only way to do so is to scoop some rainwater out of a trough (that was a gas station in Vietnam…and, yes, they had built a shallow trough and left a scoop in the stall to flush).

      Aug 12, 2014 at 6:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.6   Mitzi

      JoDa, as someone who has lived and worked in the bush up in the Northwest Territories, the devices are necessary. The blackflies and mosquitoes are everywhere and will bite anything that is exposed. When you are wearing full body protection and still getting huge chunks taken out of your hide you definitely don’t want to expose the sensitive bits…

      Aug 12, 2014 at 7:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.7   kermit

      Wow, I had no idea such devices even existed.

      I assumed that truckers had makeshift pee-bottles, astronauts have whatever it is that they have and sick people with bladder issues have that colostomy bag – but I didn’t think that any company officially made specialty devices for the sale to the generally healthy public.

      Either way, if you don’t flush, then it’s only fair that you also don’t get a clean bowl, so no flushing the previous person’s waste.

      Aug 12, 2014 at 9:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.8   TRT

      How much water is a non-flusher saving? 6-litres a time in the EU, 9 if it’s an older cistern and >>9 if it’s an ancient design.
      Even the former Mayor of London, Ken Livinstone, has advised “If it’s pee, let it be; if it’s brown, flush it down”.
      So if everyone who works in just the City of London (not Greater London – I couldn’t find figures for that) left out one flush a day, that’s enough water saved to fill an Olympic sized swimming pool, 2.4 million litres.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 4:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.9   Tesselara

      Also–the go-girl doesn’t work that great. I got rid of mine. And I agree–pulling down your panties, etc, is purpose-defeating.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.10   pooham

      TRT, to clarify my question, I thought that urinals might use significantly less water than a toilet.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 12:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.11   Kasaba

      We have signs at work asking people to make sure the loo is properly flushed and clean before leaving, but the plumbing is so terrible in this country, you often find yourself cursing and begging the loo to flush.

      Worst thing at work is people who vomit in the sink and then don’t clean it. Seriously? You can’t turn on the tap and at least make an attempt to clean it? I cringe when I think about the fact that we often host clients from major pharmaceutical companies in our offices, and they use the same restrooms as everyone else.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 12:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.12   DaveS

      TRT, my point was that you’re not saving any water if the next person always flushes before he uses the toilet/urinal. It’s still one flush per use, regardless of whether it’s being flushed before or after it is used. But when it’s left for the next person to flush, it’s stinking up the place in the meantime.

      That’s fine if you want to do it in your own house. But at work or at public toilets, who wants to use a toilet or urinal with someone else’s waste (even if it’s just pee) already in there? Splash-back is bad enough when it’s just your own. There’s no way I’d risk getting someone else’s on me.

      And that’s leaving out how sociopathic it is to think that it’s the job of the rest of society to take care of your waste.

      Urinals do use significantly less water than toilets.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 2:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.13   TRT

      Almost all urinals in the UK are self-flushing and don’t hold the waste in the open but in the trap underneath. Unless the outlet is blocked with sweet wrappers and Rizlas etc. in which case you don’t want to be near them when the auto-flush goes off or you’ll need to wash your feet before leaving.

      Aug 15, 2014 at 4:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.14   TRT

      Ok, and the EU regulated maximum amount per urinal per flush cycle is a mere 1l. We’re now seeing a lot more of the waterless systems being installed. They use just what the cleaner puts into them. And they don’t stink. Seriously, they don’t. It’s a minor miracle.

      Aug 15, 2014 at 4:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Janey

    So…before this note, I never realized a person had to flush a urinal. I just assumed it went straight down the drain.

    Aug 12, 2014 at 10:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Transplant

    I doubt these idiots are washing their hands too.. lazy fuckers.
    And people wonder how they get sick. Slimeball who doesn’t flush the urinal/toilet is also going to walk on by the sinks, unless they’re checking their hair or teeth maybe. But wash those nasty hands? No.. that takes too much effort.

    Aug 12, 2014 at 6:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Chinchillazilla

    Somebody at my mom’s office likes to poop and not flush it. I encountered it more than once while working there. I… kind of hope that person dies soon?

    Aug 12, 2014 at 8:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   pooham

      I never understood that. Do some people get excited about other people seeing their waste? Are they afraid to flush? (I was when I was little. I would do a flush and run! And if not able to run I would cover my ears.)

      Aug 13, 2014 at 12:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   zenvelo

    In California, the note writer would be the one shunned for wasting water. We’re in a drought, no one in this state is flushing for pee, only for turds.

    Aug 12, 2014 at 11:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   kermit

      In that case, you should be peeing outside instead of wasting any water at all on something completely un-necessary.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 2:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Poltergeist

      It must be nice to walk out of the bathroom feeling like you “did your part,” but you’re not saving as much water as you think. You may not have flushed, but 9 times out of 10 the person who goes in after you will flush your pee before doing their business.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 6:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   deepstick

      Fuck California.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 8:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.4   The Elf

      And urinals do not use as much water as toilets, even the low-flush type. Look, I understand the “let it mellow” philosophy. We sometimes do that at home if we need to watch the draw on the well or avoid too much water hitting the septic all at once. Be very concerned about water usage at home. But in a place of business? Flush! The company can install the waterless or low-water-usage urinals.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 11:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   deepstick

    My personal preference is to pee in the sink. Somebody is eventually going to come along and wash their hands, which will serve as a very “green” flush. I don’t wash my hands for a #1. My all beef frank is fairly clean, so it’s a waste of water.

    Sink pissing works on a number of levels. It’s good for the trap, as the urea helps to prevent the growth of mold. It also breaks down calcium and lime buildup inthe drain pipe.

    The best part is that the splashing is minimal. urinals are horrible with regard to spashing. Commodes are inconvenient because they’re too low. Plus, I tend to pee on the seat.

    As for the inevitable duece, I opt not to flsuh that unless I’m leaving for the day. The way I see it, an unflushed toilet is a claimed toilet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into a crowded restroom after lunch only to find the stall I soiled in the morning there for my pooping pleasure.

    Aug 13, 2014 at 8:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      I see a bathroom stalker and a passive-aggressive note in your future.

      Aug 13, 2014 at 1:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Nocturnesthesia

      Lost it at the second paragraph.

      Aug 15, 2014 at 7:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   pooham

    I really like some of the monikers on this page. Chinchillazilla and assiveProgressive are a couple of my favorites.

    Aug 13, 2014 at 12:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   assiveProgressive

      Oh, I blush.

      Aug 14, 2014 at 10:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   FeRD bang

      But do you flush?

      Aug 14, 2014 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   assiveProgressive

      I have been known to flush.

      Aug 15, 2014 at 12:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Jane

    Brown or yellow,
    Flush it down, good fellow.

    Aug 18, 2014 at 4:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Very Funny Pictures

    It’s amazing what a good note can change. I love them douchebag’s :)

    Aug 21, 2014 at 1:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   pedro

    I had to clean bathrooms as part of my coffee shop job years ago. I was the only worker during my shift, so I had to take care of everything. Every shift I had some douche pee on the floor in the men’s bathroom by the toilet. I use to try to figure out who it was so that I could ban him! But I was always kept so busy I never could figure it out. I wish all people respected public bathrooms!!

    Aug 22, 2014 at 7:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   ejordan

    …I didn’t know you flushed urinals…I thought it just, y’know, flowed down the pipe…is that not how it works??

    Dec 22, 2014 at 6:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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