Don’t leave a kitchen sucker punch

← You dirty rat, you killed my childhood This used to be a pretty doormat. →

September 24th, 2014 · 29 comments

Suzanne’s office in Chicago is filled with lots of so-called “creatives” — you know, the types who are too busy working on BIG IDEAS to deal with the banalities of, say, dirty dishes. Finally, someone decided it would take a real heavyweight to draw some attention to the problem.

Hi! I'm George Foreman.

related: Right/wrong justified

FILED UNDER: Chicago · kitchen · office

29 responses so far ↓

#1 Lyle

I lived with two stupid people who would use two Foreman grills, then leave them stinking on the kitchen counter for weeks until someone else (me) gave up and cleaned them.

At which point they would then use them again.

I ended the issue by throwing both of the grills away.

Sep 24, 2014 at 10:50 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #1.1 TKD
  
  You threw a knockout kitchen uppercut!
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 7:34 am rating: 90
- #1.2 deprogrammed
  
  That really knocked out the fat!
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 2:11 pm rating: 90
- #1.3 Poltergeist
  
  Georgie Forgie, burgers and pie
  Burned-on shit will make you cry
  When Lyle came home one day
  Georgie Forgie got thrown away!
  
  Sep 26, 2014 at 12:33 am rating: 90
- #1.4 TKD
  
  Brilliant Poltergeist, brilliant!
  
  Sep 26, 2014 at 7:16 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#2 DNH

So good. This should be in a “How to” for writing passive aggressive notes.

Sep 24, 2014 at 10:53 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #2.1 Arathael
  
  I wish they all had quirky-yet-font-like-printing, and illustrations.
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 12:00 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#3 Underwatervulcan

I want this note to succeed, but the truth is George’s tone in the note does not reflect the aged boxer with head trauma who went on tv to sell these 2-sided miracle machines to us. I will however steal the idea to draw a picture of myself on notes I leave for others. Not only is it hilarious but I think I will gain the advantage of psyching the addressees out by passively reminding them I am watching and I am judging. This one is good enough to be considered for the book.

Sep 25, 2014 at 12:00 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #3.1 FeRD
  
  Perhaps it’s written by his son George. Or his son George. Or his son George. Or his son George.
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 4:58 am rating: 90
- #3.2 Jami
  
  Or his daughters Freeda George or Georgetta.
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 10:37 am rating: 90
- #3.3 labdude
  
  or his ad copy writer…
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 11:56 am rating: 90
- #3.4 FeRD
  
  Craziest part? I missed a George. That nutball has five sons named George, out of his unfathomable brood of twelve children!
  
  (My grandmother was one of twelve, sure; she was also born in like 1917, and IIRC only seven or so survived to adulthood.)
  
  Sep 29, 2014 at 1:15 pm rating: 90
- #3.5 Bette Foster McVicar
  
  I’m nobody’s judge, jury or executioner so please don’t be mine.
  
  Oct 27, 2014 at 2:44 am rating: 90
- #3.6 The Elf
  
  But what if you were? I mean, there are people whose job it is to be a judge or executioner, and jury duty is something every American has the potential to be called for. If you are a judge or executioner, or serving on a jury, could you then bitch about the condition of the George Foreman griller?
  
  Oct 27, 2014 at 7:57 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#4 The Elf

I suggest that notewriter use my cleaning solution. After cooking on your nifty George Foreman grill, leave it open and walk away. The next morning, it will be clean. The cat will also be licking bbq sauce off his chin, but the grill is ready on be used again with no effort on my part.

Sep 25, 2014 at 8:36 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #4.1 labdude
  
  While clever, and def creative, I suspect that solution is doomed to fail, unless Suzanne’s office has a cat.
  The note, however, is an epic win. I hereby award the internet (for the day) to George Foreman.
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 11:54 am rating: 90
- #4.2 The Elf
  
  Office cats make the workday go by faster…..
  
  Yeah, that argument didn’t work with my boss either.
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 2:25 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#5 sharon

I think this one’s awesome. Clever, well-phrased and illustrated. Effectively communicates the need to respect community property without singling out any one person or group.

Sep 25, 2014 at 9:41 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#6 assiveProgressive

I have finally found a use for the George Foreman grill that has been sitting in the cupboard for ten years. I am going to take it to work and see what happens. Fun!

Sep 25, 2014 at 10:42 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#7 Dave

This PAN is One of “…The Greatest Of Allll Time!”

Sep 25, 2014 at 11:12 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#8 labdude

<3 the signature!

Sep 25, 2014 at 11:58 am rating: 90

reply to this comment
#9 The Beast Among Us

That thing is a damned hazard!

Those aren’t allowed in my office. Anything other than a microwave and a typical bread toaster are considered safety hazards. It sucks.

Sep 25, 2014 at 2:24 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #9.1 The Elf
  
  You just wait until someone starts a microwave or toaster fire. Just a matter of time. This is why we can’t have anything nice.
  
  Sep 25, 2014 at 2:27 pm rating: 90
- #9.2 magicdomino
  
  My office isn’t allowed to have toaster ovens because a different company on a different floor had one catch on fire. I don’t think we are even supposed to have the toaster, but no one has ratted us out yet.
  
  Oct 7, 2014 at 10:42 am rating: 90
add to this thread
#10 RedDelicious

If they’re not gonna clean it at home, they’re not gonna clean it at work. Typical of the same assholes that microwave fish at work and stink up the entire office. You’ve just given them another apparatus with which to annoy you.

Sep 25, 2014 at 3:45 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment
- #10.1 Charlotte
  
  I love the folks I worked with who burnt their microwave popcorn because they like it that way! Stinky!
  
  Oct 7, 2014 at 12:26 pm rating: 90
- #10.2 Charlotte
  
  I love the folks I worked with who burnt their microwave popcorn because they like it that way! Stinky!
  
  Oct 7, 2014 at 12:27 pm rating: 90
- #10.3 FeRD
  
  I have to admit, I like my micropopcorn just a little on the burnt side. But I’d only ever do it in the privacy of my own apartment.
  
  Oct 7, 2014 at 3:07 pm rating: 90
add to this thread
#11 Lita

Ha! I like this one.

Someone needs to rescue that poor grill. (Hug it, squeeze it, and call it…George…)

Sep 25, 2014 at 6:28 pm rating: 90

reply to this comment