Previously, our submitter says, bowls of candy sat in an area of the office most commonly populated by waiting customer and potential hires.
“Now, instead of candy, most of them get to see this note. It provides them with things to think about as they wait, such as: How many Jolly Ranchers, Starlight Mints, and other candies which are neither chocolate nor caramel may one take from each bowl?”
recently: More office candy bowl drama
40 responses so far ↓
#1
Lisa
… because that is definitely the first impression we want to give customers and potential hires!
Oct 21, 2014 at 2:50 pm rating: 90
#2
MizOtis
This sign is obnoxious, even though I’m a little bit Team Candy Restriction; I used to always have a popular candy bowl in my office because I put out the best chocolate! I definitely wanted the candy to be eaten and made sure to take out any which weren’t “selling”…it’s just that some people would literally take so much in a handful right in front of my very surprised eyes that they could barely get it into their greedy coat pockets without spilling it. Stop by and have a chocolate or two, I’d love you to! Want handfuls of them? Buy your own damn bag, mongrels! Sheesh!
Oct 21, 2014 at 2:58 pm rating: 90
#3
The Beast Among Us
But…
Who are you?!
WHO ARE YOU!?!?
Oct 21, 2014 at 5:35 pm rating: 90
#4
Ava Jhon
It is surely a best piece of writing while reading your listed information. You make me much more satisfied to publish this post.
Superman Smallville Jacket
Oct 21, 2014 at 6:00 pm rating: 90
#5
Lita
I’d grab an entire handful just to piss them off. And I’m not even a big candy eater.
Oct 21, 2014 at 7:07 pm rating: 90
#6
The Elf
This sign is useless without a checklist of names and signed receipts. In triplicate.
Oct 22, 2014 at 6:27 am rating: 90
#7
Poltergeist
“One Piece Only Please”
That’s all the sign needed to say. Instead, we get this masterpiece from the self-appointed office comedian. Hmm, I’m suddenly in the mood for 3 pieces of candy.
Oct 22, 2014 at 6:45 am rating: 90
#8
kaetra
Solution: Use a Candy Dispenser that accepts tokens. Issue one token per person when they sign in.
Oct 22, 2014 at 12:03 pm rating: 90
#9
Upstater
“Only take one piece…if necessary!”
What does that mean? Does the business cater to hypoglycemics? I love candy as much as anyone, but I don’t consider it a necessity.
Oct 22, 2014 at 12:34 pm rating: 90
#10
Upstater
I guess we need the Candy Czar to rule on what is necessary candy intake.
Oct 22, 2014 at 12:37 pm rating: 90
#11
Kasaba
Laxative. Laced. Candy.
1 piece = you’re now regular, thank me later.
2 pieces = you’ll be galloping to the loo all day.
3 pieces = say “hello, liquid” to your insides.
Oct 22, 2014 at 1:37 pm rating: 90
#12
buni
The majority of “free candy” available in my office is old & stale. If I want the good stuff, I bring my own and hide it.
Oct 22, 2014 at 2:02 pm rating: 90
#13
Belle
CANDYMAN!
CANDYMAN!
CANDYMAN!
Oct 22, 2014 at 2:54 pm rating: 90
#14
spike
This idiocy is brought to you by Americans’ sick and pathetic addiction to sugar and obsession with food.
–your public service announcer
Oct 25, 2014 at 4:50 am rating: 90
#15
Roxy Random
Happy fucking Halloween, bitch. Hope your house gets egged, TPed, and all your pumpkins smashed.
Oct 26, 2014 at 1:00 pm rating: 90
#16
Maea
This is the kind of thing that would turn me off.
I once had two job offers (much to my surprise) that were very similar. They were both in a city several hours away. Both phoned to make the offer. One office called collect. I chose the other one because I thought it was pretty stingy to call the unemployed student collect. Turns out it was probably the wrong choice, but that’s how I decided.
Oct 31, 2014 at 7:53 am rating: 90
#17
Kathy
FCA = Federal Candy Authority?
Nov 26, 2014 at 10:06 am rating: 90
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