Karen in Council Bluffs, Iowa spotted this unsigned note taped to the vending machine in the office breakroom. It sounds like somebody certainly got their 75 cents worth, no?
related: Raging against the (vending) machine
Karen in Council Bluffs, Iowa spotted this unsigned note taped to the vending machine in the office breakroom. It sounds like somebody certainly got their 75 cents worth, no?
related: Raging against the (vending) machine
FILED UNDER: candy · Iowa · office · vending machine drama
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32 responses so far ↓
#1
Madrias
Am I the only one who is curious as to how this person knows what a mouthful of fiberglass feels like?
As for year old Twizzlers, yeah, never a fun experience.
Nov 16, 2014 at 5:25 pm rating: 90
#2
Roto13
This is more fun than the original draft that just said “I mean, I ate them anyway, but come on, they’re pretty gross.”
Nov 16, 2014 at 5:28 pm rating: 90
#3
kermit
Aren’t Twizzlers made of the same mystery gunk as Twinkies and/or a Twinkie-producing factory? Why in heavens name would you voluntarily want to eat that stuff?
I can understand if you’re stranded at a gas station in the middle of nowhere and your meal choices are expired Twizzlers, antifreeze and sandwiches that have been there since the Eisenhower administration. But at an office building where you can order food? Come on.
Nov 16, 2014 at 6:12 pm rating: 90
#4
sunshynegrll
Sounds like they stocked this vending machine with the shitty, expired, and apparently LSD-laced candy for the trucked-in liberal kids.
Nov 17, 2014 at 2:29 am rating: 90
#5
Amstrad
Bad licorice you say?
http://youtu.be/Copn6PiwUP8?t=8s
Nov 17, 2014 at 4:50 am rating: 90
#6
The Elf
Who knew that Odin also gave mankind the Twizzlers of poetry?
Nov 17, 2014 at 6:45 am rating: 90
#7
Jami
How close to starvation do you have to be to eat expired Twizzlers? I wouldn’t even eat them during a zombie apocalypse. Use them to destroy zombies with, sure, eat them, no.
Nov 17, 2014 at 12:51 pm rating: 90
#8
The Beast Among Us
At that point, they are no longer described as “chewy,” but rather, “crunchy.”
Nov 17, 2014 at 1:05 pm rating: 90
#9
Lita
Some people may call them niblets. I prefer the more evocative term “niblet’snot”.
Nov 17, 2014 at 1:32 pm rating: 90
#10
assiveProgressive
At my place of meaningful employment, the vending lords rub the expiration dates off of the packages. The Raisinets of unknown vintage have a chalky color to their chocolate. Nasty. I am making a serious effort to stop buying things there.
Nov 18, 2014 at 12:09 am rating: 90
#11
humoradda
I guess the fungus on the chocolate was too damn potent
Nov 18, 2014 at 10:39 am rating: 90
#12
Ahava
Meh – “expired” is such a vague term. I used a jar of gravy a couple days ago that “expired” about the same time as these twizzler niblets.
I didn’t get any kind of nifty high – just some yummy meatballs in gravy.
Nov 18, 2014 at 12:19 pm rating: 90
#13
assiveProgressive
A jar of gravy has roughly the same ingredients as Twizzler Twigs. Oil, sugar and Bondo. So, yeah, why worry about expiration dates.
Nov 19, 2014 at 12:38 am rating: 90
#14
Wendy
If they were so bad, why did he eat the whole bag?
Nov 20, 2014 at 2:21 am rating: 91
#15
Zero Our Hero
You guys asking why he ate the whole bag must have missed the part where he wrote about “a euphoric high, with brilliant swirling colors”.
Now can someone tell me where I can find this machine?
Nov 23, 2014 at 4:44 am rating: 90
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