Is this a tanning booth or a barnyard stall?

November 20th, 2014 · 50 comments

Writes Joanna in Pennsylvania: “Following (apparently) more than one incident in which a customer relieved themselves in the stand-up tanning booths in my town, this signage was posted in every tanning booth. Because, ya know, people need to be reminded to not just randomly crap themselves every time they get naked.”

A $250 booth cleaning and repair fee will be charged to your account if you have an "accident" while tanning. Please use restroom prior to beginning your tanning session

Adds Joanna: ” Yes, I asked an employee and the incidents in question involved #2!” If it makes you feel any better, Joanna, it turns out your problem is far from unique to south central PA.


related: On preparing a hide for tanning

FILED UNDER: Pennsylvania · shit · that's unsanitary

50 responses so far ↓

  • #1   poopypants

    What, the spray tan doesn’t double as a bidet?!

    Nov 20, 2014 at 6:40 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

  • #2   Roto13

    I’m pretty sure tanning booths fry people’s brains.

    Nov 20, 2014 at 7:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   chip

      Cause and effect or common cause? Maybe you need an already pre-fried brain to go to a tanning saloon in the first place.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 5:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   kermit

      I don’t understand why you wouldn’t just go to those spray tanning places where they hose you down. Since you’re not lying down in anything, it’s way more sanitary and faster than wasting a hour or however long tanning bed appointments take.

      A spray tan looks a tad more natural than the rotisserie chicken look you get from going to the tanning bed places.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 5:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Raichu

      I just don’t understand why people feel the need to put on a fake tan.

      Nov 22, 2014 at 3:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   The Elf

      Neither do I, Raichu. Love the skin that you’re in!

      I’m one of those particularly pale-complexion white people. I’ve had people say that I “need” to get a tan. I always ask if there is something wrong with the color of my skin. Funny how that shuts them up.

      Nov 22, 2014 at 4:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Jami

      I’m pale like Elf. I don’t tan, I burn, but people tell me I need to tan to “look healthier.” Even my own mom has bought me those lotions with self tanners telling me I look “sickly.”

      Course, she’s stopped doing that since I was diagnosed as severely anemic.

      Nov 22, 2014 at 4:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   kermit

      Looking like Lilith Sternin is always an advantage. If they can’t tell if you’re dead, you have a leg up on the rest of them.

      Nov 22, 2014 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   Iwill FindU

      I’ve known a few people that will use tanning beds in the winter to help ward off seasonal depression, and a few different skin problems can be helped with a tanning bed as well. So there are some legit reasons to tan. But I would guess that makes up maybe 10% of people using them.

      Nov 23, 2014 at 4:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   The Elf

      At best 10%. But, still, legit reason.

      Kermit, I’m stealing that line for the next time I get the “too pale” comments.

      Nov 24, 2014 at 7:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.9   kermit

      As a fellow Lilith Sternin person, I know you need that kind of artillery ready steal away. It’s only fair payment for the Vice President’s fountain pen.

      Nov 24, 2014 at 9:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.10   Raichu

      There are sun lamps to help with seasonal depression.

      Nov 24, 2014 at 3:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.11   C.J. City

      Being white is soooo tough, ain’t it?

      Nov 24, 2014 at 9:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.12   The Elf

      *snort* The tough part is not being able to make an offhand comment about stupid people saying stupid things without getting a “check your privilege” response. Dude, it’s just an annoyance, not a larger social commentary on racial problems in America.

      Nov 25, 2014 at 8:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.13   Beth

      When I was in high school (15 years ago), everyone went tanning, and I avoided it, because I had a feeling it was terrible for you. One girl in my French class got some type of horrible infection from a tanning bed that caused her to have a green pussy thing on her shoulder. She was more angry that she couldn’t go tanning than she was that she had an infection. I also have a friend who’s 32 and looks like he’s 50 after 15 years of tanning beds. 32 year olds usually aren’t dealing with horrible crows feet.

      Dec 11, 2014 at 5:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.14   Pixy

      I really hope you meant to type “green PUFFY thing.” Cause if not…

      Dec 31, 2014 at 2:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Louis

    I can confirm as a former gym employee, yes, people do both #1 and #2 in the tanning rooms and beds way more than they should.

    Nov 21, 2014 at 1:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   kermit

      How do they not get electrocuted if they pee in the tanning bed?

      Nov 21, 2014 at 6:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Louis

      It pooled on the acrylic. They usually would just use the trash cans though. Sad part was, the restrooms were literally 20 steps from the beds. People are lazy and disgusting.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 11:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Dakota

    Once had a lady pee on upwards of $300 worth of clothing in a store changing room. Not to mention dirty diapers, sanitary products, etc. People are pigs.

    Nov 21, 2014 at 1:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Haterade

      Hey… what do you have against pigs, huh? ;-) They’re often far better “people” than humans… and when they’re not penned in a sty, generally more fastidious about hygiene.

      Nov 28, 2014 at 10:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   GWC

      All animals are equal. Some animals are just more equal than others.

      Nov 29, 2014 at 1:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   Beth

      I had a friend who worked in retail and told me that one time, a kid around 3 dropped his pants and pooped on the floor in the middle of the store, and the mother just picked him up like nothing happened, paid and left. She didn’t tell anyone about it, apologize or anything! I just don’t get people. As the mother of a toddler, I’d be mortified and would track an employee down, ask for paper towels and offer to clean it up myself. Other kids’ poop is gross, while your own kid’s poop isn’t bad at all. Is it really so difficult to clean it up yourself? The fact that adults poop in public like that is probably the most disturbing thing ever. Toddlers, okay, but adults? No.

      Dec 11, 2014 at 5:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   Kerry

    I do not know why this is a thing, but it is. I managed a tanning salon for a short period of time, and this happened ALL THE TIME. I had never tanned before taking the job (was desperate!), and I still never have. There was an entire chapter in our employee handbook devoted to this. I laughed, but other employees told me, “Just wait! You’ll see!” I would deal with pee about once per shift, and I would deal with poop about once per week. We had two very big, very nice bathrooms. We checked the bathrooms every half hour. We stressed to clients that we would re-start the tanning beds should they need to use the facilities in the middle of a session (though I don’t know why they couldn’t hold it for 15 minutes, our max session time). When the bathrooms WERE used, they were trashed. I had to clean poop off the wall a couple of times.

    Once, a man was peeing and his sunglasses fell in the toilet. Instead of fishing them out, he peed on them and tried to flush them. They jammed the toilet. People kept peeing and pooping on top of them and trying to flush, despite the high water levels and eventual flooding. NOBODY CAME TO TELL ME. It all happened in the span of half an hour because, like I said, we checked and signed off on the bathroom every half hour. I found it during my regular check and had to shut it down (at that point I did not know WHAT was going on, and I tried to plunge it but that only made it worse). Our maintenance worker came and told me he would have to take the toilet apart. Hours later, THE MAN CALLED ASKING FOR HIS SUNGLASSES. That’s how I found out what happened. He wanted them back because they were, according to him, VERY expensive. I told him that he probably didn’t want them back because people had continued to use the bathroom on top of them, but he insisted and threatened to say I stole them (?!) if I didn’t get them back. I asked him why he didn’t get them out in the first place, and he said he didn’t want to touch his own pee. Okay, then. I told our maintenance guy, and he eventually got them out for the guy. It was a huge thing because they were caught in the pipe at that point. They sat in our safe for months despite our numerous phone calls to let him know we had his expensive, shit-caked sunglasses.

    Tanning beds are the worst.

    Nov 21, 2014 at 2:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Arathael


      Nov 21, 2014 at 3:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   TKD

      It is a very fine line between human and animal. Fortunately for the world, the animals have some sense of proper behavior.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 6:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   The Elf

      Okay, I’m convinced THAT goes beyond normal piggishness. If you do shit like that, you’re doing it for some perverse pleasure you’re getting out of leaving a mess for others to clean up.

      People aren’t pigs; pigs aren’t smart enough to think of disgusting ways to tormet other pigs that haven’t done anything to them.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 7:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   kermit

      Yeah, that’s nuts. The only remotely rational explanation for that kind of behavior is that the person was an ex-employee or contractor who didn’t get paid for their work and so wants to extract revenge.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 5:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   Jami

      Having heard these stories before, the answer is actually the person doesn’t want to interrupt their tan and “lose money” because they firmly believe despite what they’re told that their session won’t be restarted and they won’t get their full 15 minutes of frying.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 6:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   Poltergeist

      There’s a special place in hell for the asshole who started the whole thing. Disgusting, cowardly little shitstain. I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself from stepping on the “expensive” sunglasses and then dropping them into a bag that every employee had spit into.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 8:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.7   Raichu


      Nov 22, 2014 at 4:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.8   Sarah

      Having run a tanning salon for five years, I, too, can attest to people’s nastiness. In that span, I personally got stuck cleaning both, er, “waste matters” on seven or eight separate occasions. The worst was either someone’s corn-littered diarrhea inside the spray tan booth (which had a very narrow drain tube, so simply spraying bleach water until the evidence had disappeared wasn’t an option) or the time when someone crapped in a towel, tossed it into the towel drop, leaving me to discover it only AFTER I had thrown the load of towels into the washer & it ran its cycle (I just dumped the basket upside down into the washer by the handles, because even someone else’s sweaty towels are pretty gross to touch). We always knew who the culprit was, since the computers that set the beds kept track of who was in what room & they were cleaned in between each customer; most of the time, people’s pride got the better of them & they never returned. I was always amazed by the few that did come back, obviously with a guilty conscience they were trying to mask. On the other hand, I never had a customer that repeatedly left in the bed the soiled towel used to clean himself up after apparently being unable to go 10 minutes without jerking off like a few other coworkers at other sites did, so I guess I have that going for me…

      Nov 27, 2014 at 1:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.9   Kerry

      Sarah, we always knew who it was as well! I was also shocked by the people who would come back after relieving themselves all over the place. When they came in and we pulled up the account, a note would pop up about their…activities. We would say they were chosen for a random room check and walk back there with them to tell them exactly what our cleaning process was, stressing that we checked the garbage cans (a lot of people relieved themselves there) after every customer, wiped down the beds, walls, etc. and give them stern looks when we got to whichever part they pissed or shat on. For most people, that was enough. For others, it wasn’t and then they were banned.

      We also had a problem with dudes jerking off. In those cases, we would ask them to try not to spit on the walls of the booths or beds and say that it looked like they had spit a loogie or something on the walls while giving them the same stern look.

      People are gross.

      Nov 27, 2014 at 11:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.10   Beth

      This proves – people who tan are disgusting. However, having heard stories from friends who work in retail, people who go to stores are disgusting, too.

      Dec 11, 2014 at 5:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   kaetra

    #2 more reasons for fake-baking to become a foolish thing of the past.

    Nov 21, 2014 at 9:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   pooham

    Is it worth it to some people to pay someone $250 to clean up their urine and/or feces?

    I wouldn’t pay more than $20/wk for someone to pooper scoop my small yard. (I am adamant about cleaning up after my dog when we walk, but that’s on either dirt or rocks. But for some reason I constantly gag – and sometimes worse – when picking it up from the grass.)

    Nov 21, 2014 at 3:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Dany

      The reasoning is that they have to clean the equipment and bodily wastes are bio hazards.

      Nov 21, 2014 at 7:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   kermit

      Well yeah, but the fee is also supposed to be high enough to act as a deterrent.

      But as we have seen, some people who are into tanning beds are not normal people that respond to common sense decency or incentives.

      I am still trying to understand how tanning beds are even a thing, though. They’ve been widely documented to cause skin cancer. If you really want to look tan, there are alternatives that are safe, sanitary and fast, like those spray tan places or the self-tanners you can buy over the counter.

      Nov 22, 2014 at 2:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Jami

      Smoking is proven to cause cancer and other health problems in several different ways, Kermit, doesn’t stop people from smoking. A lot of people have an “Well, you don’t get out of life alive” attitude.

      Nov 25, 2014 at 11:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Zero Our Hero

    Well, since Lita won’t say it, I will.
    The maintenance guy opened the tanning booth and went: Oh crap!
    Da Da Booooom!!!!

    Nov 23, 2014 at 4:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Lita bang

      Lita didn’t say it because Lita’s been busy and not checking PAN. :P But yes, that is pretty much what I thought!

      Nov 23, 2014 at 3:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   juniper

    I have no words… just mouth agape at the moment.

    Nov 24, 2014 at 10:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Lita bang

      Just don’t stand in a tanning booth with your mouth agape…

      Nov 24, 2014 at 2:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   ChrisBaker

    The solution would be to go into the room with the customer when they arrive, verify, with them, that everything is clean, including the trash can. My guess is that they pay ahead of time, so there’s no chance to check out the room between when they are done and when they leave?

    Nov 25, 2014 at 3:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   The Elf

      The problem with that is the percentage of people who DON’T pee in the tanning beds – the majority, I hope – would feel like they’re being treated like a criminal and would eventually switch businesses.

      Nov 26, 2014 at 7:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Jami

      Maybe put up some signs saying that the rooms are video monitored and anyone caught using them as a toilet will have their videos posted to YouTube so they can face public ridicule and live with the knowledge there are certain types of fetishists who’d get off on said videos. Then install some very realistic looking fake cameras.

      Nov 29, 2014 at 4:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Lita bang

      That assumes they aren’t exhibitionists, among having other, far more disturbing fetishes…

      Nov 29, 2014 at 9:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Jetboy

    Cameras? Don’t people get naked in tanning booths?

    Dec 3, 2014 at 2:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   twistedg

    This is preposterous. I’m paying good money to destroy my boys; I’ll leave whatever remains I wish.

    Dec 5, 2014 at 1:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   The Absent Minded Housewife

    I once had a job at a beauty supply. I was in charge of cleaning the tanning bed before and after use. One lady snuck her husband into the booth and proceeded to leave the evidence of their love on the bed.

    I called them and told them not to come back. They tried to argue with me about the mess until I said, “It cooked on the bed. COOKED!” She had nothing to say to that. I paid myself a nice cleaning fee out of the remainder of her contract.

    Dec 16, 2014 at 5:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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