Citation: Copier Abuse

December 15th, 2014 · 26 comments

Alice in Fresno says that since this sign went up, she’s made a point of greeting the copier every time she passes it. The coworker who wrote it was apparently tired of hearing people cursing out the (stupid!) machine when it screws up (all the damn time!).


related: The printer doesn’t appreciate your tone.

FILED UNDER: anthropomorphism · Fresno · office · the printer

26 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Poltergeist

    Look lady, I can either curse out the copy machine, or I can stand by your desk and have a one-sided conversation with you about my cat. Your choice.

    Dec 15, 2014 at 9:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   LittleBirdy

      Their decision might depend on whether it’s an indoor cat or an outdoor cat.

      Dec 16, 2014 at 1:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   The Elf

      Cat’s indoors. Copier? Not so much.

      Dec 16, 2014 at 7:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   kermit

      Oh, that’s not going to be a one-sided conversation, and you know it Poltergeist.

      Now tell us more about your cat…

      Dec 16, 2014 at 8:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   zenvelo

      Kermit, are you saying they copied on duplex mode?

      Dec 17, 2014 at 3:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Lita bang

    Well, that’s a bit (copy)catty.

    Dec 15, 2014 at 10:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   sunshynegrll

    Sure it’s annoying to have faulty office equipment, but sending it to coventry seems a bit harsh.

    Dec 16, 2014 at 6:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      The copier has broken the law of the office! It must be shunned.

      Dec 16, 2014 at 7:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Ace of Space

    It depends on what you say to the copier. If you sweet talk it and give it flowers, it will give you full color copies. If you abuse it and call it a piece of crap, it will jam on you. Everyone knows that.

    Dec 16, 2014 at 11:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   kermit

      Flowers? I thought I was supposed to bribe it with expensive brands of toner and lubricant.

      Dec 16, 2014 at 1:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   The Elf

      Only after the third date.

      Dec 16, 2014 at 2:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   The Beast Among Us

      I sit on it after the third date.

      Dec 19, 2014 at 1:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   sam-c

    Ha ha. As someone who sits (unfortunately) right next to the copier, I can relate. Whenever it jams, people expect me to tell them how to un-jam it, or un-jam it myself. I am not the copier caretaker.

    Dec 16, 2014 at 12:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   labdude

      At my workplace, we have large signs placed at the copier/printers explicitly prohibiting the engineers from attempting to fix/unjam the copiers, and exhorting them to call our in-house copier guy for service.
      Apparently our service folks got tired of having to deal with copiers and printers that the engineers ‘fixed’.

      Dec 17, 2014 at 8:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Jami

      We moved the copier at the library nearer the reference desk in hopes people will ask the librarians for help, not us clerks. Especially now that since my supervisor retired there’s often only one clerk at the desk and we can’t leave it unattended because of the cash register. The copy machine is out of side of the desk.

      It didn’t work. They STILL come to us, even when we have a long line and the librarian isn’t helping anyone. Then get upset when we tell them they need to ask the librarian and refuse to drop everything to run and help them.

      Dec 17, 2014 at 12:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Michelle

    Its Fresno – I live here…trust me, this is the sanest thing I have seen all month come out of this town. Fresno is Cray Cray!

    Dec 16, 2014 at 1:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Dana

      Speaking of crazy Fresno, someone cut the bike chain and stole my parents’ tandem bike . . . from in front of the police station. Someone also tried to break into my parents’ Jeep . . . which was also parked in front of the police station (they were at a conference, which was at the library next door).

      Dec 21, 2014 at 5:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Haterade

    I work in a print production facility, and I’m sorely tempted to post this sign on one of the printers just to see the reactions it’ll get.

    Dec 16, 2014 at 3:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Roxy Random

    Don’t talk ABOUT the copier? So when it jams, are they just supposed to let it sit, rather than telling someone about the problem?

    I can just see an office full of nervous people, eyeing the forbidden machine out of the corners of their eyes, furtively whispering when they think it’s not looking.

    Dec 17, 2014 at 6:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Jami

      Maybe the copier can send you to the corn field.

      *cues Twilight Zone theme*

      Dec 17, 2014 at 12:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Kasaba

    The reason why I am talking to the copier in a begging (albeit hushed) tone, is because it just jammed while I was copying a personal document. My pathetically bleak bank statements for three months say, for a visa application say. I know I should not be copying personal documents at work, but it’s just a few pages and so convenient, as the copier is only a few steps away from my desk. In fact, I’d be willing to pay to copy it in the office, instead of walk a mile down the road to do it. Why, why, why do you jam on page 2 of 9 of my bank statements, yet, you could happily copy a 200-page stack of blank pages without a jam? Why, copier, whyyyy?

    Dec 17, 2014 at 12:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Kimberly

    It looks like a Sharp copier and they deserve ALL of the nasty things you can say about them.

    Dec 18, 2014 at 2:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   JoDa

    I just have to say, I often question the budget priorities in my office. They cut needed things and spend on things that no one needs, fairly often. BUT, we recently got new all-in-one printer/scanner/copiers in every office, and I’m over the moon. At first I was skeptical because they reduced the number of printers (our old ones broke so often it was nice to be hooked up to 3 or 4 close-by so that you’d have at least one that worked within walking distance), but these things are the BOMB. I don’t print/copy much (hello, it’s 2014, learn to PDF!), but when I need to, these things are like driving a Benz.

    And then they yanked out all of our “big” copiers and sold them and told us to use Kinkos. Except we can’t justify the expense for small jobs, so I can no longer automatically staple documents or add cover/back pages in a different color/stock from tray 2. I thought I won, and then… :( Please excuse me while I swear at my stapler while trying to pierce 20 pages…

    Dec 19, 2014 at 10:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   thatwindsmeup bang

    At least it’s polite not to talk about the copier, right in front of it, whilst refusing to talk to it. That’s just rude.

    I heard that the real controversy in “The Interview” is that they’re talking about Kim’s photocopier.

    Dec 25, 2014 at 2:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Michael Bolton

    PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that even mean?

    Apr 24, 2015 at 3:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Samir Naga-naga-nagannaworkhereanymore

      I was waiting for someone to say that!

      May 4, 2015 at 12:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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