Happy New Year! Life is awful.

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January 6th, 2015 · 56 comments

This. Is. Amazing.

Apparently, they don't know what air conditioning is

Says our submitter: “I don’t think this lady will be invited back to her stepson’s house anytime soon.”

related: Day in the Life of a Crank

FILED UNDER: holiday spirit · old folks

56 responses so far ↓

#1 Rahvin

She does sound like my mother though. Sheesh…

Jan 6, 2015 at 7:46 pm rating: 90

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#2 eirinnkelly

I know it says “blessed Christmas” but this lady is obviously a fan of Festivus.

Jan 6, 2015 at 8:18 pm rating: 90

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#3 Roto13

Best part is “We did have a nice time.” Did you? Did you really?

Jan 6, 2015 at 8:28 pm rating: 90

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- #3.1 FeRD
  
  Sure she did! For one day.
  
  The real question is, did anyone else around her?
  
  Jan 6, 2015 at 8:47 pm rating: 90
- #3.2 The Elf
  
  I’m going with NO.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 7:35 am rating: 90
- #3.3 Tesselara
  
  She REALLY enjoyed writing the letter.
  
  Also, aren’t these letters supposed to be a “highlights of the year in review” is this LITERALLY the only thing that happened to her all year? And, apparently, it also sucked! I feel a deep and echoing pity for this woman.
  
  Separate rant: I hate these damn xmas letters. If I cared about you, then I would know this stuff already, so sending would be redundant (and weird). Since I don’t know this stuff, I don’t care about you, so sending it is a waste of postage. Yay narcissism! Basically, I would get letters from a bunch of people I didn’t care at all about. I’d open the envelope, see a giant manifesto, and immediately dump it in the recycling, and instantly feel awesome.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 1:58 pm rating: 90
- #3.4 rushgirl2112
  
  Coincidentally, today I just received my dad’s SIX-PAGE Christmas letter which included every trip they’ve made (even a paragraph for each museum visit), everyone whose house they’d been to or who had visited them, and even a summary of the big international news stories of the year (way to treat your friends and family like uninformed idiots, Dad).
  
  I’d be amused if it weren’t for the fact that all of these events involved his wife’s family. He’s been in town, 20 minutes away from me, since May. I’ve asked to get together with him on multiple occasions and have so far seen him for a grand total of an hour and a half. He even mailed me my birthday card. I told him how much all that hurt me. He said he’d been too busy. Apparently the Creation Museum and hanging out with people like his wife’s cousin were more important than seeing his own daughters.
  
  Wow, I’m sorry . . . I guess I just had to get that out.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 3:03 pm rating: 90
- #3.5 Tesselara
  
  Ugh. Some people are terrible at being parents (or even good people).
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 7:43 pm rating: 90
- #3.6 TKD
  
  The Massive Annual Christmas Letter. That is what people used to do before they started posting every minute detail of their lives on Facebook.
  
  Jan 9, 2015 at 9:57 am rating: 90
- #3.7 tch tch
  
  I really feel for you rushgirl. In 2014 my parents saw my children for a total of 5 minutes in the rain in their school car park.
  
  Jan 10, 2015 at 7:10 am rating: 90
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#4 FeRD

Wow. She doesn’t so much have a “comfort zone” as a “reinforced-steel comfort bunker with pirhana-filled moat and laser-targeted defensive turrets”. When was the last time she ventured outside of it, high school?!?

Jan 6, 2015 at 8:46 pm rating: 90

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#5 The Elf

I hate to break it to you, but no one enjoys flying, especially in coach. It’s just a means to an end.

I love visiting new places, but I don’t like traveling to new places. Whether loaded in a car all day (or multiple days) or crammed into an airline seat, I just want to get to where I’m going. So if it’s more than about 6 hours drive away, I’ll fly (if that’s a realistic option) just to get it over with.

Jan 7, 2015 at 7:38 am rating: 90

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- #5.1 rushgirl2112
  
  Actually, I love flying. And I’ve never been in anything other than coach.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 11:54 am rating: 90
- #5.2 The Elf
  
  Well, there’s always *one*.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 1:19 pm rating: 90
- #5.3 rushgirl2112
  
  That’s true, and it’s usually me.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 3:04 pm rating: 90
- #5.4 The Beast Among Us
  
  And me. I like to fly, too.
  
  Jan 8, 2015 at 2:00 pm rating: 90
- #5.5 TKD
  
  I enjoy flying. But I don’t have to do it every other week for work either. I also enjoy the journey to where I am going. Unless it is my commute to or from work. Then just get out of the fast lane you slow mother f-ers!
  
  And stay off of my lawn!
  
  Jan 9, 2015 at 1:00 pm rating: 90
- #5.6 kermit
  
  Flight quality depends on how lucky you are and in which airline you pick.
  
  The smaller ones that cater to short distances and/or business people are usually the best and the nicest to their customers. Porter is the best I have tried so far if you need to travel between Canada/US to business cities.
  
  The major airlines are terrible. One time when my arm was in a cast, the stewardess up calling the air marshal on me and insinuating that they would kick me off the plane for being “difficult”.
  
  My egregious offense? Refusing to check my backpack (with a laptop in it)after they decided to change my seat from a regular one to one that was at the border of the business class/regular class line, and thus didn’t have an overhead compartment bin or another seat in front of it under which I could place my backpack. No way in hell was I going to check that backpack and have the risk of them losing it and/or damaging my laptop. I ended up pulling the passive aggressive super calm lady bit until the air marshal decided that whoopsie, after all there is room for my backpack in the first class closet where all the business people’s suits were hanging. Imagine that.
  
  Jan 10, 2015 at 8:42 am rating: 90
- #5.7 Raichu
  
  Chiming in. I love flying (also only been in coach)
  
  Feb 15, 2015 at 12:38 pm rating: 90
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#6 The Elf

Part of me really hopes that stepson received the annual Christmas missive. He should know what everyone else on the Christmas card list knows.

Jan 7, 2015 at 7:46 am rating: 90

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- #6.1 Tesselara
  
  ME TOO! Honestly, though, not for the honorable motive of truth-sharing, but really just for the picture created in my mind of the ensuing drama.
  
  Mmm… drama that isn’t happening to me. (the best kind, you know)
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 2:01 pm rating: 90
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#7 kambc

Not everyone can take the heat, and must been first airplane trip. If you are used to climate control, you are going to complain when it’s miserable. She needed a battery operated personal fan. Some areas are boring! And some people entertain by turning on the TV. But it was weird she wrote about it.

Jan 7, 2015 at 8:04 am rating: 90

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#8 kaetra

Lets validate the theory that the older you get, the more you complain. Are we all destined to become Cranks? And if so, what can we do to help prevent it?

I finally saved up enough to go on my “Dream Vacation” to the Caribbean. It wasn’t until I got there that I realized I don’t like sand, extreme heat/humidity and the sticky feel the seawater left on me. If that makes me a Crank I guess I am one.

Jan 7, 2015 at 8:21 am rating: 90

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- #8.1 Feather Blade
  
  Are we all destined to become Cranks?
  
  Yes.
  
  Complaining about “the youth of today” or “how unpleasant modern life is and it was better when…” is one of the few pleasures one has left in one’s old age.
  
  Why do you want to take that away from old people?!111 one!!!
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 11:00 am rating: 90
- #8.2 Snicklefritz
  
  I think I can safely say that the reason most people complain more as they get older is because our filters get more and more eroded as we age. Then finally we just don’t give a crap and spew the thoughts that roll around in our head.
  I’m not saying that’s what’s happening to me, or anyone else in my age bracket, but, yeah, I don’t give a crap anymore. If anyone doesn’t want to hear my obscenity laced thoughts… well then feel free to leave.
  Dagnabbit!! Now get off my lawn!
  
  Jan 8, 2015 at 9:29 am rating: 90
- #8.3 Jami
  
  I’m already a crank. No one listens to me anyway so I figure why the fuck not.
  
  Jan 8, 2015 at 8:00 pm rating: 90
- #8.4 Jazzgirl205
  
  I don’t complain unless it accomplishes something, and then, only to the person who can fix it. Anyone who travels with me knows that I don’t allow recreational complaining.
  
  Jan 10, 2015 at 5:35 pm rating: 90
- #8.5 Kasaba
  
  I’ve spent the past two days in hospital, sharing a room with 5 older ladies. One lady, who’s probably in her early 70s, is the most bitter, painfully rude, obstinate, borderline racist person I’ve come across in a while. Yesterday we had to listen to her tear into one of the health care assistants (really nice and efficient and lovely) for no reason. Nothing this woman did, was right in the older lady’s eyes. And she spoke to her like she was dirt. She kept saying to other staff that she wanted to making an official complain and was “not avving it”. The rest of us sat there with gaping mouths, and I had to bite my tongue every time she says something.
  
  At the same time, she purrs like a kitten over her favourite male nurses, and acts sweet as pie towards them. I don’t like excluding people, but nothing about the way she is acting makes me want to talk to her, and she has clearly isolated herself from the other ladies in the room too, who have been there much longer than me.
  
  I am going back in tonight and wonder if there is anything to be done to change her attitude. I not so subtly made a comment last night about not saying anything if you have nothing good to say.
  
  Jan 11, 2015 at 8:08 am rating: 90
- #8.6 Rumtopf
  
  My Mum’s been a carer for 20+ years now. Whenever she had difficult or just plain nasty clients in the past(she used to work in care homes but now only for one lady) she’d end up just sarcastically agreeing with their insults and then telling them she loved them xD No idea if that’s unprofessional or what, but she said it worked for a lot of them when they realised they weren’t upsetting her at all like they tried to.
  
  If I was a fellow patient having to listen to someone being horrible to the staff I’d call the staff member over and tell them that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what they’re doing and to keep up the great work. I think calling the horrible patient an idiot, or whatever, would just make life harder for you too, and nobody needs that when they’re in hospital. Some people just aren’t satisfied until everyone else is as miserable as they are and it isn’t the responsibility of others to change them.
  
  Jan 18, 2015 at 6:55 am rating: 90
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#9 sunshynegrll

tl;dr version – “I will never be satisfied with anything, and will make sure everyone knows it.”

Jan 7, 2015 at 8:24 am rating: 90

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#10 Robin

I bet she’s a lot of fun at parties.

Jan 7, 2015 at 8:37 am rating: 90

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#11 danezeller

Hmmm. How did you all come to the conclusion that she was a “she”? Maybe the submitter didn’t know who the letter writer was, and made the same assumption you did. Maybe “she” was the brother of the man whose son and family lived in Arizona. Oh wait, the last sentence: “We did have a nice time…” Contradictory, she was.

Jan 7, 2015 at 10:31 am rating: 90

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- #11.1 rushgirl2112
  
  If the submitter had a copy of the letter, one would assume that he/she was familiar with the person who had sent it. Unless it was sent to totally random people.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 11:58 am rating: 90
- #11.2 Djagir
  
  I think it has something to do with the note after the picture:
  Says our submitter: “I don’t think this lady will be invited back to her stepson’s house anytime soon.”
  
  Jan 8, 2015 at 7:32 pm rating: 90
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#12 rushgirl2112

Dear people who use handwriting fonts,

You aren’t fooling anyone, and it only makes you look like a dolt.

Jan 7, 2015 at 12:02 pm rating: 90

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- #12.1 FeRD
  
  Cursive-script fonts should never be a body-text choice, absolutely — but, honestly, nobody imagines they’re “fooling” anyone with them.
  
  Heck, the people who want to fool others with their handwriting font are the ones choosing something more believable, like Burst My Bubble. Better known as The Oatmeal’s font of choice for the written text in his comics. (Plenty of people are fooled by that, and think he hand letters them.)
  
  Jan 16, 2015 at 9:40 pm rating: 90
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#13 havingfitz

Let’s be honest: we’re ALL related to this woman.

Jan 7, 2015 at 1:19 pm rating: 90

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- #13.1 DaveS
  
  And if you’re not related to her, then you probably ARE her!
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 1:55 pm rating: 90
- #13.2 The Elf
  
  And sometimes this woman is a man. Still a crank.
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 8:46 pm rating: 90
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#14 Lita

Haaaaaaaahahaha. Haha. Ha.

This reminds me very much of something my aunt would do. I love her dearly, really, but…

(Off-topic note here: currently having very strange eye issue that’s either a leaking blood vessel or some fluid pushing my retina away from where it ought to be. Hopefully, I’ll be able to find out what it is on the 14th and maybe even get it fixed. Good thoughts, please?)

Jan 7, 2015 at 4:50 pm rating: 90

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- #14.1 Wench
  
  sending Lita good thoughts; here’s hoping it’s something easily fixed
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 7:15 pm rating: 90
- #14.2 KarateLady
  
  GO NOW!! My uncle had a retina detach & he nearly went blind. Woke up 1st day with a “shadow” blocking his vision out of the corner of his eye, very small. No big deal, he thought, I’ll call the doc soon. Woke up next day to that “shadow” (actually blindness) covering a THIRD of his eye (or more, don’t remember exactly). Went to eye doc IMMEDIATELY (someone drove him, obviously) 1st thing & had EMERGENCY surgery ASAP. Saved his vision; they told him that had he waited any longer it would have been too late! So, GO NOW!!!
  
  (A friendly concerned fellow PAN commenter)
  
  Jan 7, 2015 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
- #14.3 Althea
  
  Whoa. Did you just ask for an appointment with the eye doctor or did you tell the office of symptoms that might be a detaching retina? My eye doctors would not wait for a week on a possible retina detachment.
  
  Jan 8, 2015 at 1:24 pm rating: 90
- #14.4 Lita
  
  Haha, sorry – I just realized I left out the part where the specialty clinic here squeezed me in about 18 hours after I first started noticing the symptoms. First visit they said it might be a macular hemmorhage, second visit two days later they went “no wait, it’s probably just fluid, it’s not acting like blood, we don’t have the test here that can confirm whether it is or not so we’ll get you in with someone else.” So, no worries!
  
  I’m frankly just annoyed with the blurry spot.
  
  Jan 8, 2015 at 4:17 pm rating: 90
- #14.5 TKD
  
  Good to know it’s not an emergency situation. But I hope they can get you fixed up and back on the pun train soon. Best thoughts your way, Lita!
  
  Jan 9, 2015 at 9:52 am rating: 90
- #14.6 Lita
  
  Thanks much!
  
  (I was never off the pun train in the first place. I just thought it’d be bad even for me if I said I’m keeping an eye on things! :D)
  
  Jan 9, 2015 at 2:47 pm rating: 90
- #14.7 assiveProgressive
  
  Assuming she lives in the North, I wonder if she’s been whining about all this cold weather we’ve been having lately. I hope she’s happy, finally got that cold air she’d been pining for.
  
  Jan 10, 2015 at 9:25 am rating: 90
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#15 Roxy Random

I’m related to several people like this, but fortunately only by marriage. Let’s face it, if they didn’t have anything to complain about, they’d complain about not having anything to complain about.

Jan 8, 2015 at 12:28 pm rating: 90

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- #15.1 Lita
  
  There’s at least one in every family, I swear, and every one of them a fine specimen of Whine-us Dramaticus.
  
  Jan 9, 2015 at 2:48 pm rating: 90
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#16 Kittymama

Y’all have made me remember the letter my brother-in-law’s ex-wife wrote, referring to him as their children’s “biological” father. (He’s been in their lives all along.)

Jan 8, 2015 at 9:39 pm rating: 90

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#17 Myrric

That lady was just DUMB. Arizona requires AC in all hotels and apartments, so if she was outside of those two kinds of places, then her real problem was that the stepson was able live there without the AC blasting on 50 degrees.

As far as the Christmas letters go, I don’t mind the single page one my mom sends out every year. She’s great at keeping me up to date on my sibs’ grades and such, but she’s rather bad about telling me the big things, so the Christmas letter is the only way I learn that my sister was in the national soccer finals (for example).

Jan 10, 2015 at 6:53 pm rating: 90

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#18 Morgraine

A few years ago, while going through some things, I found a Christmas letter my (now) ex-mother in law had sent before I had met my now ex-husband. It described, in detail, the cyst his older brother had on his butt that ruptured. This older brother was NOT a child, but in his mid-twenties. I would have been so livid. I do not know what makes people want to tell such things in their Christmas letters. I wish I had kept it and doctored it so I could send it in, it was pretty epic, though I felt soo sooo soo bad for my ex-brother-in-law. And understood why he married and moved far far away.

Jan 12, 2015 at 12:56 pm rating: 90

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#19 Rafaello

Never Give Up

Jan 13, 2015 at 5:21 am rating: 90

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- #19.1 The Elf
  
  Never Surrender!
  
  The air conditioning.
  
  Jan 13, 2015 at 8:06 am rating: 90
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#20 juniper

I want to see all the letter!
I suppose that’s one good thing about Facebook – it has made these round robin type letters pretty redundant. I hardly get any now…

Jan 16, 2015 at 7:38 pm rating: 90

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#21 Beth

lol she must have been near Tucson. Tempe is wayyy better, however by the sound of it, she will never know. #UofASucks. #Forkemdevils

Apr 4, 2015 at 2:38 pm rating: 90

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