Have you and your kids had “The Talk?”

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January 23rd, 2015 · 72 comments

Something to consider the next time you consider staying at a Holiday Inn Express on your next family vacation…

When I first saw the above note on reddit, I experienced a bit of déjà vu. It took me a sec to figure out why…

FILED UNDER: hotels · sex sex sex · thanks (but not really) · Won't somebody think of the children?

72 responses so far ↓

#1 havingfitz

If I ever stay at one of these I’m playing a recording of zoo animals mixed with screams of “OH YES!” and “SPANK ME LIKE THE BAD LITTLE HOLY FATHER I’VE BEEN!” Explain THAT to your kid…

Jan 23, 2015 at 9:13 am rating: 90

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- #1.1 The Beast Among Us
  
  “that no one was coming through the wall…”
  
  I can just imagine the kid hearing, “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum!! I’M CUMMING!!!” and thinking in his mind, “They’re coming to take me away!!”
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 3:13 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 The Elf
  
  In all honestly, I do feel bad for the kid because that probably was scary. But such noises are to be expected and the correct response to unreasonable noise is to call the front desk, not to write a note after the fact.
  
  Jan 24, 2015 at 10:32 am rating: 90
- #1.3 The Beast Among Us
  
  I thought the correct response was to record the sounds and send a copy to their spouses.
  
  Jan 26, 2015 at 12:55 pm rating: 90
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#2 Jami

On one hand, after my experience in which a bunch of teenagers were switching rooms, having sex, and one girl spent a couple of hours switching between having sex with other boys to begging this other guy to have sex with her, to calling that guy gay slurs every time he refused, then went back to begging him for sex and even offering to have sex with that boy’s current girlfriend as well so long as he was there, I can sympathize a bit with these people.

On the other hand – you’ve got to expect sex in a hotel when other people are around. And Autism or no, kids should start learning about sex earlier than people think cause they’ve found kids who know about it young are less likely to have it as teens and are better prepared mentally to deal with it. So maybe instead of complaining the parents shouldn’t be such prudes and told them a long time ago – “Humans have sex, this is what sex is like, and sometimes it’s super duper noisy!”

Or maybe I’m just crabby this morning and not making sense cause of a poor night’s sleep. No. Not cause of people having sex. Cause of nightmares.

Jan 23, 2015 at 9:59 am rating: 90

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#3 kaetra

I don’t understand why “autism” needed to be in the note. At all.

Jan 23, 2015 at 10:24 am rating: 91

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- #3.1 katkat
  
  Because children with Autism do not understand social norms, have extreme anxiety, and have severe meltdowns. It is very hard on the child as well as the parent. You are ignorant for even posting this comment. Educate yourself.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 10:37 am rating: 90
- #3.2 Lyle
  
  Because their special snowflake deserves special treatment because autism.
  
  (I have four kids, two with autism- I didn’t raise them any differently from my other kids and they’re doing just fine.)
  
  ETA: yes, children with autism can have those issues, as katkat posted, but they still need to experience the real world, not be sheltered from it. It does all children a disservice to be sheltered from what the world is really like, because one day they will need to know how to manage on their own.
  
  And katkat- jumping down someone’s throat for being ignorant of something doesn’t help anyone.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 10:44 am rating: 91
- #3.3 FeRD
  
  Wait, what? “ETA”? You mean the edit function actually works for you?
  
  It’s been broken for over a year, I think, everytime I’ve tried to use it. :’(
  
  And, yeah… um, katkat? Some of us don’t give two shits about your (or anyone’s) children, autistic or otherwise. And reactions like yours make me even less inclined to care, personally.
  
  IMHO, the planet is far too overpopulated, and since obviously nobody can keep their legs closed / dick in their pants, I think a 90% random sterilization program should be instituted. The remaining 10% fertile people can perpetuate the species, without overrunning the planet like we’ve been doing.
  
  So, yeah, do I know anything about “children with Autism”? No, I do not, because OH MY GOD I SO DON’T CARE.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 12:08 pm rating: 90
- #3.4 Lyle
  
  Ha ha… Well, I didn’t technically edit with the edit function. I have the flu so can’t remember basic things like signing in. I was able to add to the post before submitting it- but I was adding new information so wrote eta. I’m a little compulsive about being accurate.
  
  And the flu is kicking my ass. I’m mostly lying here shaking and crying and occasionally posting online.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 12:58 pm rating: 90
- #3.5 rushgirl2112
  
  Crap, the flu really sucks – I’ve had it three times in the last two years, so I’m extra sympathetic. Hope you get better soon!
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 1:22 pm rating: 90
- #3.6 rushgirl2112
  
  Um, katkat? Someone says they don’t understand something, and you say they’re ignorant for not having educated themselves? Have you educated yourself about all the things that affect everyone in the world? Heck, let’s even stick with just medical conditions. Have you done that?
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 1:28 pm rating: 91
- #3.7 Lita
  
  Yeah, I’m not seeing why it was necessary to mention autism either. Note still reads the same without it.
  
  (Full disclosure, I am high-functioning autistic. And I still don’t see how it’s relevant.)
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 2:30 pm rating: 90
- #3.8 havingfitz
  
  I have misophonia. It developed when I was 8 (I’m 39 now) and on the 1-10 scale for it I rate 9. There’s still a lot of debate on whether or not it’s a form of Autism. I do know that it makes my life hell sometimes when I become irrationally angry at people for whistling, cracking gum, shaking their legs, clipping their nails, eating too loud, and in short just being humans. (A coworker once told me that I was a freak and shouldn’t be around ‘normal’ people.) And even I expect if I stay in a hotel someone is going to be having sex in the next room. That’s why I wear earplugs.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 3:09 pm rating: 92
- #3.9 Skye S
  
  katkat: why so aggressive? It really isn’t necessary to call someone ignorant because they have an opinion that differs from yours.
  
  Personally I think she added the autism because she thought it would make them feel bad for the situation…a little manipulative on her part to use her child’s condition to convey her own irritation don’t you think?
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 3:34 pm rating: 90
- #3.10 Poltergeist
  
  Oh please katkat, the person who wrote this note clearly only mentioned that their kid has autism as a way to try to make the people in the next room feel super-duper guilty for “traumatizing” a disabled kid. The only thing this note proves is that even a parent of a disabled child is capable of manipulating others and exploiting their children for their own petty bullshit.
  
  Sincerely,
  Somebody with autistic family members.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 11:06 pm rating: 90
- #3.11 Dolly
  
  Not gonna lie, I would not make this into an issue because my kids sleep right through loud sex, see my post lower down. But yes, I can and will use my son’s autism to our advantage sometimes. I don’t feel too bad about it because hey raising a kid with autism can suck balls and I might as well occasionally get a pass for it.
  
  Disney World is a good example. I have never used it because we go in off season and its not crowded anyway, but if I ever go in peak season, hell yes I would take advantage of any perks they would give us like being able to not have to stand in line. They let you go sit on a bench or shop or eat and then return later when the time is up to get right on the ride. I would take advantage of that and not feel bad about it.
  
  Jan 24, 2015 at 7:33 am rating: 90
- #3.12 juniper
  
  You mean you don’t walk around modifying your behaviour for every special needs person in the whole world? How very dare you. I personally live my life as if there is a cornucopia of people with mental illness, mental and physical disabilities and severe allergies around me at all times.
  I’ve gotten rid of my Apple computer due to little Timmy’s fructose allergy and had to give up watching television as the nudity triggers Angela’s weaning trauma. But all a small price to pay for social cohesion.
  
  Jan 24, 2015 at 7:52 am rating: 90
- #3.13 Poltergeist
  
  Dolly, that’s a bit different since it’s a fairly well-known Disney World policy; however, if you were to try to do the same thing in, say, a department store or a grocery store, that would be shitty.
  
  Jan 24, 2015 at 12:03 pm rating: 90
- #3.14 Jami
  
  At the risk of katkat calling me names on the internet I’m going to share something from my personal experiences with this subject.
  
  99% of the time people I’ve personally known who scream “MY CHILD IS AUTISTIC” have never actually taken their child to the doctor and had them officially diagnosed. They just read the Wikipedia article and decided that was a great reason to not discipline their child and ask for special treatment.
  
  Only one time in my experience was the child actually taken to a doctor. And she was using it as an excuse to not teach him math and how to handle money. I found out he could understand money if you go really slowly with him and explain things carefully.
  
  My friends and acquaintances who either have Autism themselves or a child with Autism would never put it in a note like this – or even write a note like this. They’d take the time to talk to their kid and explain things instead of using it to guilt trip a couple having sex.
  
  But that’s just drawn on my personal experiences and in no way means everyone is like this. However, I’m still confused as to why it even needs to be brought up. Why couldn’t they have written “Hey, if you’re going to have sex would you mind trying to keep it down or have it someplace other than the bed so it doesn’t bang against the wall? Thanks!”
  
  Jan 25, 2015 at 5:52 pm rating: 90
- #3.15 L
  
  *hackcoughhackhack*Jenny McCarthy*coughhackcough*
  
  My allergies are flaring, sorry.
  
  Jan 25, 2015 at 6:19 pm rating: 90
- #3.16 bongripper
  
  @katkat
  you must be retarded
  
  Feb 2, 2015 at 4:40 pm rating: 90
- #3.17 Raichu
  
  I suspect it was included in the note to make the recipient feel guilty. How were they supposed to know the kid next door had autism? Or that he was seven years old? Or even that there WAS a kid??
  
  Feb 15, 2015 at 12:48 pm rating: 90
- #3.18 Dolly
  
  People can claim their kid has autism all day long but if they want actual accommodations from the public school system, the child has to be tested by the school system and qualify. So if they are in public school getting accommodations like an IEP then they do in fact have autism.
  
  My son has the above with a very in depth IEP. He also was diagnosed by a psychiatrist but that was actually just recently. He was getting tested and having services through early intervention and the school system since he was 2 years old.
  
  I know a lot of parents of kids with autism. Its a shitty club you get to be a member of when your kid gets diagnosed and none of them are “faking” it. Not a single one. I am sure fakers exist, but I don’t know any.
  
  So I would not assume when someone says their child has autism that its made up. That is a very dangerous and hurtful assumption to make.
  
  Feb 21, 2015 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
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#4 James

#onlyworksontwitter

Fucking idiots.

Jan 23, 2015 at 10:59 am rating: 90

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- #4.1 FeRD
  
  #HonestlyItWorksALotOfPlacesOnline #AnEverGrowingList #IncludingGooglePlus #AndByExtensionYouTube #DontForgetInstagram
  
  …However, in printed/written text it’s just obnoxious.
  
  #PSFearTheGiggleBrax #OhAce #WhatWillWeDoWithYou
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 12:01 pm rating: 90
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#5 Ace of Space

#WellitDoesWorkonFacebookToo

Jan 23, 2015 at 11:04 am rating: 90

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#6 The Elf

Where else am I going to have my orgy?! Seriously, people have no consideration.

Jan 23, 2015 at 12:05 pm rating: 90

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- #6.1 FeRD
  
  Maybe they were just upset at not being invited.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 12:10 pm rating: 90
- #6.2 The Elf
  
  Mom’s welcome, but the kid’s gonna be a bit of a buzzkill.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 3:48 pm rating: 90
- #6.3 Lil'
  
  Boy, you elves get wild in the off-season. Naughty, naughty…
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 3:50 pm rating: 90
- #6.4 Lita
  
  You don’t want to know what kinds of toys these elves are making, Lil’.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 4:29 pm rating: 90
- #6.5 The Elf
  
  You know how it is. Once Christmas is over, the Valentine’s rush begins. You *really* don’t want to be on Santa’s naughty list.
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 8:16 pm rating: 90
- #6.6 Tesselara
  
  The cornucopia of images that flew into my head from that, Elf…oh, man. Thank you for the laugh!
  
  Jan 26, 2015 at 6:33 pm rating: 90
- #6.7 TKD
  
  OK, forget that Christmas naughty list, I want a copy of that Valentine’s naughty list!
  
  Jan 27, 2015 at 7:19 am rating: 90
- #6.8 The Elf
  
  It’s on a need to know basis. (Pssssht. Meet me at parking space 32D. Bring money and kittens.)
  
  Jan 27, 2015 at 7:55 am rating: 90
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#7 kermit

Here’s a tradeoff that everyone can live with:

you get to have all the loud and/or weird sex you want, but your fellow hotel guests get to be equally noisy in laughing at you, mocking you and grading your bedroom performance. And they get to eat your breakfast and/or room service stuff you order.

Jan 23, 2015 at 2:54 pm rating: 90

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- #7.1 The Elf
  
  I love that. “You had 3 orgasms! 3! I counted! You had your treat already. I get to have your waffles, damn it all.”
  
  Jan 23, 2015 at 3:51 pm rating: 90
- #7.2 Tesselara
  
  But…I also want waffles….
  
  Jan 26, 2015 at 6:34 pm rating: 90
- #7.3 JoDa
  
  Double if you order the room service while fully prepared for the, um, “coming attraction.” I once worked in a hotel restaurant. While the hotel offered room service out of the restaurant, the only people who ever ordered it were those about to get busy. We used to fight HARD to avoid going on room service runs. I used to accept to get out of most of my side work, but joined the “no, I will do a week’s side work, bus 10 tables, and take your least wanted shift” offers after a memorable incident where the man was buck-naked and “at attention,” and the woman still had me come in and set up their meal after answering the door barely covered, herself…
  
  Jan 27, 2015 at 7:36 pm rating: 90
- #7.4 The Elf
  
  I hope they at least tipped well! In money.
  
  Jan 29, 2015 at 8:21 am rating: 90
- #7.5 Raichu
  
  Shit. I’d have straight-up refused.
  
  Would that have gotten you in trouble? Refusing to go in, I mean? Because that’s just all kinds of inappropriate. I mean he at LEAST could have put a towel around his waist – it’s not hard and hotels provide plenty!
  
  Feb 15, 2015 at 12:53 pm rating: 90
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#8 RedDelicious

It’s the fucking holiday inn. What were you expecting? Seriously? If you want a family friendly don’t scare my autistic child with loud sex hotel, you probably shouldn’t pick the cheapest one on the list when you go hotels.com searching. You get what you fucking pay for. Idiots will never understand this.

Jan 23, 2015 at 4:21 pm rating: 90

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- #8.1 JoDa
  
  No, please, families, please keep picking the cheapest hotel on the list. I LIKE my peace and quiet in the high(er)-end hotels I stay in…I don’t want to be awoken by your screaming brats at $300-400/night…
  
  Jan 27, 2015 at 7:38 pm rating: 91
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#9 Wendy Jane

Hashtags on a handwritten note? Really?

Jan 23, 2015 at 10:10 pm rating: 90

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#10 Dolly

Mommy fail I guess. I have a son with autism that shares a wall EVERY night with us and that does not stop Mommy and Daddy from having loud wild sex most nights. We try to wait till they go to sleep but I am sure he has heard it. Maybe if that prude did tha at home more often, her son would not even have to ask questions about it. He would be used to it like my sons are.

Jan 24, 2015 at 7:24 am rating: 90

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#11 Liz

I think the lady who mentioned autism in her note was probably just a snarky/passive agressive bitch who wanted to make those people feel bad lol this is passiveaggressivenotes.com after all

Jan 24, 2015 at 11:19 pm rating: 90

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#12 phoenix

This is the only revenge us childless people can have against being woken up at 5 am by screaming kids and loud cartoons everytime we stay in cheap hotels. Seriously, I’d take listening to loud sex over spongebob any day. People having sex is part of life, letting your kids crank the volume at 5 am means you’re a jerkface.

Jan 25, 2015 at 5:45 am rating: 91

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- #12.1 The Beast Among Us
  
  What about the sound of Spongebob having loud sex?
  
  Jan 26, 2015 at 12:59 pm rating: 90
- #12.2 Jami
  
  Sponges are asexual and genderless. The closest Spongebob could get to having sex is if someone soaked him in spermicide and shoved him/her up against their cervix.
  
  Patrick, on the other hand – well, not only do starfish have genders but they can actually change between being male and being female. So Patrick could possibly have loud sex with him/herself.
  
  What? I get bored. I research weird things.
  
  Jan 26, 2015 at 3:39 pm rating: 92
- #12.3 The Elf
  
  Jami, that is a shockingly coherent analysis of sex on Spongebob. And I not only understood it, but agreed on a logical level that given the assumption of Spongebob sex, that it would work out like that. And now I am frightened for the state of my soul.
  
  Jan 27, 2015 at 9:02 am rating: 90
- #12.4 Jami
  
  What about the state of my soul? I’m the one who researched and came up with the theory.
  
  I also was looking into the whole “Bert and Ernie are gay” claims since everyone always jokes about it to the point it gets pretty blasted annoying and found these official statements.
  
  Bert and Ernie, who’ve been on Sesame Street for 25 years, do not portray a gay couple, and there are no plans for them to do so in the future. They are puppets, not humans. Like all the Muppets created for Sesame Street, they were designed to help educate preschoolers. Bert and Ernie are characters who help demonstrate to children that despite their differences, they can be good friends. ”
  - Sesame Workshop’s consumer response prepared statement, 1993.
  
  “ ‘They are not gay, they are not straight, they are puppets,’ says Sesame Workshop President and CEO Gary Knell. ‘They don’t exist below the waist.’ ”
  - Sesame Street: A Celebration – 40 Years of Life on the Street, p. 47.
  
  “ Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics… they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation. ”
  - Sesame Workshop statement, August 11, 2011 (issued in response to a Change.org petition to have Bert and Ernie marry which circulated shortly after gay marriage was legalized in the state of New York)
  
  Jan 27, 2015 at 1:01 pm rating: 90
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#13 beryy

until I saw the check that said $5410 , I did not believe that…my… friend woz like actualey bringing home money part time from there labtop. . there neighbor started doing this for under 16 months and just paid the dept on their place and bought a brand new Audi Quattro . try this out
…………………….. clck.ru/9QnhT

Jan 25, 2015 at 1:11 pm rating: 90

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#14 Lita

By the way, totally unrelated to PANs but I know a few of you will probably be quite pleased–

Had my eye checked out in a plethora of ways on the 14th. It was impossible to tell for ~sure~ but diagnosis was about 99% sure to be a macular hemmorhage, so they went ahead and gave me an injection in the eye. Long story short, it worked – I can see through the blind spot again and it’s really got much smaller, and should reabsorb totally within a month or so.

Thanks to all who wished me luck, and let’s hope this doesn’t happen again. Though knowing me…

Jan 26, 2015 at 1:20 am rating: 90

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- #14.1 LittleBirdy
  
  That’s a relief! Best wishes for your recovery!
  
  Jan 26, 2015 at 5:21 pm rating: 90
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#15 Tesselara

Hey, so I’m all over the “fake diagnoses.” As a person with a disability, who has worked FOR people with disabilities–there’s this gorgeous phenomenon that happens to people with “invisible disabilities” that I call “learned helplessness.” Basically, you can get people to do all kinds of things for you if you can reasonably (and sometimes unreasonably) claim it to be a thing you can’t do because of your disability. That said…I also teach. Autism can be mild or severe, and the kids with severe autism…well…I’d hate to have to explain to that child a new and scary (to them) thing. For some parents, this disability is a constant struggle. Can we dial back on the judgy-ness?

Jan 26, 2015 at 6:38 pm rating: 90

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- #15.1 Poltergeist
  
  We’re not judging the child for being startled by odd noises coming from the room next door. And we’re not judging the parent for having a kid with autism and the struggles that go along with it (assuming they are even telling the truth.)
  
  We’re judging the parent for using their kid’s disability in a PA note to guilt trip the people next door who were doing what most people already assume goes on in motels anyway. It’s not like they knew there was an autistic kid next door and purposely tried to scare the kid by having loud sex.
  
  Jan 26, 2015 at 9:00 pm rating: 90
- #15.2 Tesselara
  
  I would suggest that maybe the child’s autism was a big factor in the 3 am talk, and was, therefore, relevant to the mom.
  
  Maybe she was being manipulative, or maybe she was just honestly recounting her experience.
  
  That said, sex is going to be had in hotels. Bummer that it was an ordeal for the mom.
  
  Jan 27, 2015 at 5:54 pm rating: 90
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#16 Nigel Greeps

Autists have absolutely no business being in hotels in the first place. Keep them out of sight.

Feb 7, 2015 at 4:53 am rating: 90

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- #16.1 Poltergeist
  
  You’re joking, right?
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 10:43 am rating: 90
- #16.2 Lita
  
  You have absolutely no business being here in the first place. Now gtfo.
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 11:43 am rating: 90
- #16.3 Nigel Greeps
  
  I was using sarcasm about the note writer. Only now can I see why it backfired. High-functioning aspie here too.
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 12:17 pm rating: 91
- #16.4 Haterade
  
  I’ve heard that lonely little trolls prefer outrage to silence. What do you think, Nigel?
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 12:17 pm rating: 90
- #16.5 Haterade
  
  I’ll take you at your word, and my apologies for my own sarcasm. Unfortunately there are too many people who would say suchlike with a straight face, so I didn’t recognize that you weren’t serious.
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 12:31 pm rating: 90
- #16.6 Lita
  
  In that case, apologies. Them brain quirks are fun, huh.
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 12:38 pm rating: 90
- #16.7 The Elf
  
  *whew* Glad to hear that was sarcasm. Yeah, sometimes humor doesn’t translate well to text. Said sarcastically, pretty funny! So thumbed for that!
  
  (BTW, I’m *ahem* old enough to be your mother and I’m still getting used to dealing with people, too. The difference is that I’ve stopped trying.)
  
  Feb 8, 2015 at 12:41 pm rating: 90
- #16.8 Nigel Greeps
  
  Thanks. I can laugh now I’ve stopped panicking about upsetting you all!
  
  I’ve lurked here for ages, but it was this PAN which spurred me into signing up and writing – and what an entrance! I was speaking the words as I typed them in what I’ve decided is the haughty voice of the addressee.
  
  Feb 8, 2015 at 3:37 pm rating: 90
- #16.9 Lita
  
  I can see it. Hear it. Whatev. It is indeed pretty funny now I know you were kidding around!
  
  Feb 8, 2015 at 4:28 pm rating: 90
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#17 Nigel Greeps

Sorry, perhaps I should have put it in quotes or with a “huh” at the end or something. It’s the problem with communicating in text. You can’t always make yourself clear. I was trying to be too clever for my own good.

Lita, yes. Strange being wired up funny. I’m quite young too (19) and feel I’m still getting used to dealing with people.

I’ll try to make my humor more obvious next time.

Feb 7, 2015 at 1:07 pm rating: 90

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- #17.1 Poltergeist
  
  No worries. I had a feeling it was said in jest anyway.
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 5:56 pm rating: 90
- #17.2 Lita
  
  Hey, I’m 27 and I still don’t quite know how to deal with people. So no worries!
  
  Feb 7, 2015 at 8:18 pm rating: 90
- #17.3 buni
  
  I’m over 40 and I don’t think I’ll ever know how to deal with people. I’m not autistic, just suffer from horrible social anxiety.
  
  Feb 9, 2015 at 8:35 am rating: 90
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