Yours Truly, The Skid Marker

February 3rd, 2015 · 150 comments

Our submitter says this note (and the accompanying response) was posted in the ladies restroom of a busy medical complex in Florida.

Yours Truly, The Skid Marker

related: POEP!

FILED UNDER: Florida · office · rebuttals · shit · toilet


150 responses so far ↓

  • #1   DNH

    This should really be the dictionary definition of “Too much information”.

    Feb 3, 2015 at 8:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Elf

      This one had me squicked at “high amounts of oils”. Omega 3 fatty acids are good for you, but you’re not supposed to mainline it.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 7:53 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Tesselara

      Also: “the state of my hands” OHHH MYYYY GODDDDD.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 10:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   The Beast Among Us

      I guarantee the 2nd note writer is not the original culprit.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 11:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Lone Commenter

      A BM TMI, if you will.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 1:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Ben

    Here’s an idea: if your body can’t handle your diet, maybe you should change your diet.

    Feb 3, 2015 at 8:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   kermit

      It’s a medical building, so people who use this bathroom may very well be sick people. It’s silly to complain about toilet skid marks in a place that is explicitly designed to deal with sick people.

      If you really want to complain toilet skid marks, maybe you should complain to the building management and/or building code people who likely mandated that low flow toilets be installed.

      Feb 3, 2015 at 8:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   JoDa

      Low-flow fixtures don’t have to suck. My old place had an *amazing* low-flow toilet that worked better than the ancient water hogs in my mom’s house, and I just installed a low-flow/high-pressure shower head that is a dream. They only suck if you buy the cheapest thing on the market.

      Plus, there’s always the option of flushing twice if once doesn’t do the trick…

      Feb 4, 2015 at 6:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   kermit

      They don’t have to suck, but in practice they do. I’m not ruling out the possibility that some low flow toilets do just as good a job as the “normal” kind.

      The problem is that in public places and/or office buildings, developers usually opt for the cheapest low quality of everything. So all the arguments about saving water go down the drain when people are forced to flush 2+ times, consuming more water, when they otherwise would just flush once.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 9:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Sabine

    Sorry – I call BS on the response. Looks photoshopped to me. Clever, but very even text on a page which is not a perfect rectangle. And far cleaner, less blurry text.

    Feb 3, 2015 at 8:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Beast Among Us

      It’s not ‘Shopped, just cut poorly However, I still think it’s fake, but fake as in the person that wrote the response isn’t the same person that made the mess.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 11:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Haterade

      I call BS for a different reason – I’m convinced the author is simply trolling their coworkers, finds everyone’s horror at the thought of someone actually playing with their poo droll, and honestly thinks they’re being clever.

      The last part is the only amusing aspect of this, but not the way they intended.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 10:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   labdude

      A close (ie. original resolution) examination reveals that the lines of text curve in a manner consistent with the curl of the paper.
      My question is why ‘Skid Marker’ had to cut the paper at all…
      I, too, believe that Skid was seriously trolling Judy, although the fact that her name was added later,(in ‘Marker’,) suggests that Skid didn’t know the identify of OP, and someone else decided to ‘out’ Judy, perhaps because this was not the first rant of its kind.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 11:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   labdude

      whoops, my bad – after a quick re-read, Judy is clearly referenced in the text.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 11:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Jami

    Feet flushing can break the toilet handle. Clean your hands with toilet paper before flushing. That problem solved.

    And more women should clean up after themselves. Especially the hoverers that leave the toilet covered in pee!

    Feb 3, 2015 at 8:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Jitty

      I’m sorry, wiping your poopy hands with TP is not “problem solved.” Just don’t stomp on the daggone handle when you foot-flush.

      Feb 3, 2015 at 8:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Jami

      Um, yes it is, clean the poop off your hands. Flush with hands. Wash hands. Everyone has to wash their hands after the bathroom anyway and if you wipe the poop off first it’s not going to get on the handle.

      Again, problem solved.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   JustPunkin

      I’m more concerned with the vast amount of “spray” that comes in contact with the handle than what is on my hands after I go.

      I use my foot. Gently. But I use my foot. Every time.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 8:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   JustPunkin

      I’m more concerned with the vast amount of “spray” that comes in contact with the handle than what is on my hands after I go.

      I use my foot. Gently. But I use my foot. Every time.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 8:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   The Beast Among Us

      And then you track that stuff all over the floor, and spread the germs.

      Use your hand, and wash with soap. A good hand washing with soap will kill all of the germs.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 11:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.6   The Beast Among Us

      And if you can’t handle touching the flusher, grab a paper towel and use that as a barrier between your hand and the handle.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 11:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.7   Rebecca

      If people
      A) end up with poop on their hands after defecating and
      B) think that wiping it with toilet paper is “problem solved” and
      C) then flush the toilet with their hands

      Then I am never using my hands to flush a toilet again! Or at least not without a thick barrier of tp or paper towels or something preventing my hand from actually contacting that handle!

      Feb 7, 2015 at 11:25 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.8   Cerys

      Surely this would only be a problem if you plan to leave the bathroom without washing your hands.

      Feb 8, 2015 at 6:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.9   Raichu

      Yep, I use my foot. Sorry not sorry. I am gentle, though.

      Also, bathroom floors are already disgusting. You don’t know what kind of bodily functions have gotten on there from someone’s explosive diarrhea, lazy hovering, etc.

      (I also hover in certain places. But I wipe if I make a mess and I’m careful about it. It’s more psychological than anything, I will admit. Public bathrooms are gross.)

      (And yes, I wash my hands! Every time! People who don’t are fucking disgusting)

      Feb 15, 2015 at 1:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.10   JT

      Jami, that makes no sense. If wiping your hands with toilet paper takes care of the problem, why are you then washing them afterwards? According to you the problem was already resolved.

      Feb 15, 2015 at 4:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   RedDelicious

    It’s a bathroom, not the fucking Taj Mahal. If you want it pristine, clean it yourself. Otherwise, get over it.

    Feb 3, 2015 at 9:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Donna Jordan

    “Skid marker” said note wasn’t necessary, but I disagree. If paper is left in the toilet, if skid marks are left in the toilet or if dirt is left on handle that’s nasty. I agree that the airport or subway reference was unnecessary besides, it’s not okay to leave a toilet nasty there either.

    Feb 3, 2015 at 9:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Pooper

    If flushing doesn’t get the skidmarks off, the person who cleans the restrooms with the toilet brush cleans the marks… There isn’t another way, unless she’s suggesting one reaches in the toilet after pooing…WTF? And I will not hover over the toilet to flush with my hand when multiple flushes are required to get toilet paper down…I will ise my foot!

    Feb 3, 2015 at 9:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Chirpbird

    Sorry, but the inside of a toilet is where skid marks belong. This idea that we all shit white poop is ridiculous. As long as your skid marks are inside the toilet, then we’re good.

    Feb 3, 2015 at 9:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Poltergeist

      Exactly. I know it’s gross to have to see that when you walk into the stall, but get over it. Nobody is going to reach into the toilet to clean it, brushes and bowl cleaner are not available in the stalls, and flushing a million times doesn’t always work and defeats the purpose of those low-flow toilets.

      And fuck you I’ll flush with my foot if I want to. Some people are such control freaks.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Jami

      You flush once to get the majority down. Then you take toilet paper and – yes, reach into the toilet and clean it off that way. Then flush again. Honestly, you have to wash your hands afterwards anyway. A few extra germs until you get to the skin won’t kill you.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   kermit

      No, it won’t kill me. But cleaning the damn toilet bowl is why they hire janitors. To expect people to clean the inside of the toilet bowl of a public bathroom is just nuts.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 2:07 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   poopypants

      I don’t understand the need to clean it yourself at all. How low are peoples’ balls and lips hanging that they’re worried about dipping themselves in toilet bowl poop?

      Feb 4, 2015 at 2:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   TKD

      Who the fuck cleans the bowl in a public restroom? That has to be some sort of mental illness. The next person is going to come in and shit in it anyway. And if your sensitivities are so delicate that you can’t shit in a bowl that has some residue, then you should probably not leave home.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 7:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   The Elf

      Yeah. A few skid marks are no big deal. If you get squicked out by the thought of your butt several inches of water away from someone else’s tiny bit of poop remains, the problem is yours.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 7:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Rattus

      I thought that the original note was referring to skids ON the seat. It seems reasonable to ask people to clean that up. But in the bowl? That’s just crazy talk. I’m not putting on my arms in a public toilet unless it’s to retrieve my phone, my wallet, my keys, or my diamond ring. Anything else I’ll leave for anyone who wants. Possibly including the diamond ring.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 10:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   The Beast Among Us

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfkwafkLuOQ

      Feb 4, 2015 at 11:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   Lil'

      I will never wipe out the bowl of a public toilet to keep the next person from seeing my skid marks. Give me a break. I’ll flush twice, it that doesn’t deal with it, my apologies. If I walk in the stall and your skid marks are there, I will flush and not make a big deal about it. Why must we make an issue out of everything?

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   Raichu

      Seriously? Yeah, skid marks in the toilet are…it just happens. They’ll be flushed away or cleaned off.

      Anecdote: I worked in a restaurant and cleaned the bathrooms on a regular basis for about a year. Sure I hated cleaning the toilets, but it just took a couple seconds and I would never expect a customer to REACH IN THERE and do it, with no bleach or gloves or scrubber or…anything! Ew! (Also, if I saw them, flushing was usually sufficient to make them go away before I even had to reach for the scrubber…)

      Feb 15, 2015 at 1:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   BLegh

    Seriously? As someone with IBS – wtf do you want me to do if my crap leaves a skid mark in a public toilet? Carry around a (filthy) toilet brush? I usually don’t have the option of just ‘holding it’ until I get home. I definitely try to leave the stall in decent condition (no TP hanging around), but it’s not like I’m cleaning the bowl before I leave.

    Feb 3, 2015 at 11:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Wax

    Who flushes a toilet with their foot? Is this an American thing? When I first read the note I thought it meant someone was plunging their foot into the toilet bowl. Now I get it probably means to press the button with your foot, but who does that? Don’t you wash your hands after you leave the stall anyway?

    Feb 4, 2015 at 12:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Jami

      People will use their foot to press the handle. Even if they don’t stomp on it, over time it breaks the handle. That’s why you’re suppose to use your hands.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Poltergeist

      You seriously think there aren’t people in your own country who use their foot? Did you create a survey or something to find this out?

      Feb 4, 2015 at 11:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Kasaba

      I’m with Wax, I’ve never heard of this or seen this foot flushing thing ever. Nor has the thought ever crossed my mind to use my foot. Alot of public restrooms here have motion detecting flush mechanisms. Anyway, if you can’t touch the toilet handle, but you can touch the tap when you wash your hands, then you’rea silly billy, because people touch that with their “wiping hands” too. And while on the subject of “wiping hands”, how are you getting poop on your hands at all if TP is being used? Unless you do the butt washing over a bucket/with a small hose thing, which I have actually seen in super modern airports in the middle east. Nothing like stepping into a toilet cube which is literally a wetroom. Aaaanyhoo, if there is a toilet brush, I think is common curtesy to clean up after yourself. I touch the flushing handle, but close the tap at the sink after washing hands with a paper towel. The shit I pick up off door handles hasn’t killed me sofar, although I’ve been a bit careful about touching door handles whilst in hospital recently.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 3:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Mechanistika

      The reason you see those buckets/watering cans or handheld showers in Middle-Eastern Airports is because the predominantly Muslim culture of the area.

      Islam requires that Muslims wash themselves after going to the bathroom instead of wiping. To cater to the large number of Muslim employees in those airports as well as Muslim passengers, the airports have the washing bucket/watering can or the hose. One does not was OVER the bucket, but with the bucket and yes, that does get poop all over your hands.

      However, in the case of Muslim culture, there is a DESIGNATED hand used to wipe/wash oneself (the left hand) and everything else is done with the right hand so sanitary issues are generally a minimal concern.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 5:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   JoDa

      In the US, most public toilets have a “stick” flusher – a long handle that sits, usually, at about knee level – rather than a button on top of the tank or small “thumb” handle on the front of the tank (in fact, most public toilets are “tankless”). Besides its location seeming to indicate that a foot should be used (low to the ground, behind the toilet), Americans also have some serious germophobia and won’t touch things they determine to be “icky,” even if they’re washing their hands immediately afterwards (despite the insanity of a few about not “needing” vaccines). We actually have a bunch of PA notes around my building asking people not to drop paper towels on the ground by the restroom door because people use them to open the door and then drop them on the ground if the trash can is a couple feet away (because holding the door open with their foot and leaning over to toss the used towel or carrying said used towel to the hallway trash can or back to their office would just be a massive inconvenience).

      Feb 4, 2015 at 6:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Kasaba

      Cheers Mechanistika, I am aware of the use and custom as you described. Just giving an example of where I could reasonably be see you getting poo on hands. You wash your hands anyway.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 6:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   kermit

      This sounds un-necessarily complicated. Just install a bidet for heaven’s sake and call it a day.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 1:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   Mechanistika

      Kasaba
      Ah, sorry if I sounded pedantic then. I’m a Muslim so it’s something I’ve grown used to explaining.

      Kermit
      Many airports have, but the buckets and hand-showers are common in India.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 3:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.9   ladykatey

      Foot flusher and proud.

      You know public toilets that don’t have a tank and have a long handle sticking at a right angle out of a pipe on the side of the toilet bowl?

      They’re basically DESIGNED to be flushed by foot. I’m not bending down to flush that with my hand. I’ve always assumed that there are more ‘foot flushers’ than otherwise when this type of toilet considered.

      (In the case of a ‘public’ toilet that is the same style as a home toilet- with a tank and a small lever that is parallel tot he front of the tank- I use my hand.)

      Feb 12, 2015 at 6:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Bob

    Am I missing something?

    Who gets poo on their hands when wiping? Were you not taught properly? You roll the paper and wipe with THAT, not your hands! o_O

    If they mean minuscule faecal matter just in the air then don’t worry, the whole toilet would be covered in it.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 12:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      I think it’s called sarcasm.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 8:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   sunshynegrll

    All I want to know is – what’s a Cadillac restroom?

    Feb 4, 2015 at 1:14 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   buni

      To me, the phrase calls to mind the restrooms in fancy restaurants or casinos – lots of bling – high-end finishes, fancy fixtures, etc.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 10:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Arhi

    Team Judy.

    1. If you can’t contain your pooping inside the bowl and is not disabled then don’t use the public toilet. In fact, I should wonder you’re gainfully employed. Sorry. Not.

    2. If your office toilet has a brush, that’s an invitation to use it.

    3. If you use your foot, then you’re a monkey and don’t belong in a civilised workplace anyway.

    4. If you use your foot because you can’t manage to wipe your behind without getting both your hands dirty and are not disabled, then see 3 above.

    And on a side note: I would love to see a flushing foot pedal. Why are they not used?

    Feb 4, 2015 at 7:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Arhi

      “…and ARe not disabled…” The editing function didn’t work for some reason.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 7:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   mutzali

      Way back in grammar school, our bathrooms had floor buttons one stepped on to flush the toilet. They were about 2″ across, set into the tile. I’m not sure why we abandoned that set-up.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 2:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   The Beast Among Us

      I like the idea of a foot pedal flusher, but I can see two reasons why they aren’t used more often: overusing the flush button and difficult repair.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 5:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Poltergeist

      I don’t know where you work but public toilets rarely have brushes available for use.

      And I don’t get why I’m a monkey for using my foot to flush sometimes. First of all, it shouldn’t matter to you anyway since you’re obviously okay with touching the handle regardless of what’s on it. Second of all, if my back is acting up, it is easier for me to lift my foot up than to reach with my arm and bend down.

      Feb 7, 2015 at 12:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Christine

    I’m a foot flusher, and I don’t see myself ever changing that. To flush with your hand you have to get your face a foot away from the bowl…and do you know how far those germs get sprayed when you flush? Even if it’s only an extra 3 foot distance, I want my face far away from that bowl when it’s flushing.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 7:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Also Christinc

      Yes, but your shoes have walked in the piss that the hoverers have sprayed all over the floor, therby transferring it to the handle where they rest of us have to deal with your leftovers. Push the handle and stand up/turn around. You don’t have to stay down there and watch the show.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 8:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Also Christinc

      *thereby

      Feb 4, 2015 at 8:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Amy in Toronto

      wow, for all the people who are ranting about the “spray” that comes out from a forceful flusher in an office-based toilet, you may wish to consider using the LID. There’s usually one with every toilet and it thoroughly prevents anything from coming back up to your face after you’ve done your business, so you can flush toilets with your hands rather than your feet.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.4   Kate

      Most public toilets don’t have lids, just rings. This one may be different, though.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 1:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.5   The Beast Among Us

      How short are your arms that you have to have your face so close to the toilet bowl to flush?

      A tyrannosaurus rex should really be pooping in the woods anyway.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 5:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.6   Belaani

      Sorry, the woods are taken. Sincerely, the Bears

      Feb 5, 2015 at 2:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.7   The Beast Among Us

      Smokey vs. Rex. Who would win? My money is on Rex.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 1:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.8   Raichu

      Do most public bathrooms in Canada have lids? (Serious question.) Most in America do not. I wish they did, though. Would make life much easier. (And they really can’t be that expensive!)

      Feb 15, 2015 at 1:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   The Elf

    In defense of low-flow toilets…..

    So much depends on the toilet in question. Cheap or old low-flow toilets don’t work as well. When we rennovated our bathroom, we installed a nice low-flow toilet. I wanted to reduce the strain on our well and septic systems. Ours works fine, even when someone is having one of THOSE days. (And I don’t care how awesome your digestive system is and how much “oil” you eat, everyone occassionally has a skid mark kind of day.) I’ve never had to flush more than twice, and once usually does the job.

    There are also dual-flush toilets that have two buttons, depending on how much water you need to flush. I understand they are popular in Australia, where water conservation is a very serious thing. We couldn’t find one that we liked for the a good price, so we didn’t install one.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 8:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Lita bang

      I’m going to join you in this defense, Elf. I’ve got a low-flow in my bathroom and there has only ever been one time I’ve had to flush twice. (Medication side effects – nuff said.) It works better than the two older full-flow toilets in the rest of the house…

      Feb 4, 2015 at 1:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   JustPunkin

    I’m OK with skid marks; I usually flush a time or two to try to get rid of them, but I can handle that.

    What I CANNOT stand is when there is big ol’ mess of shit, toilet paper and other sundries in the toilet because you don’t flush, or don’t ensure the flush works.

    Gross.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 8:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   pooham

      Attention Ladies:
      Please refrain from putting sundries in the toilet.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 11:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Lita bang

      Sounds like a job for Thx Sandra.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 1:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   The Elf

      If you need to clean the skid marks out of the toilet, please see Casey in Human Resources.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 12:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   sharon

    I’m so confused– how is the response letter even remotely close to being an adequate explanation? I’m just… and why does it have to be Florida?

    Oh i just figured it out. She’s a [email protected] whale.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 9:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Amy in Toronto

      I don’t understand this comment. Is it meant to be fat-bashing or whale-bashing? Neither of which are cool.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   TKD

      It is clearly Muslim Rapper-Cat bashing. Must I explain everything here? [email protected] is a direct reference to Eminem. While whale is clearly a veiled reference to to the Beluga Whale, thus introducing the racial element. But since a whale is never a whale in a convoluted metaphor (did you not read your Melville?) it must be about some other animal. Since this is PAN, the only animal worth noting is the cat. The only uncool tragedy here is that the poor cat is stuck inside in a filthy, disgusting, skid-marked bathroom. The cat is white so it must be a Persian. And Persians are…

      The remainder of the problem is intuitively obvious and left for the student to solve.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 1:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Arhi

      TKD, stop, please, I am begging ya…. can’t…. stop…. laughing….

      Feb 4, 2015 at 3:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   kermit

      Well, that’s what you get when you have an indoor-only cat.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 5:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Lita bang

      Scuse me, my indoor-only cats have better toilet manners than this.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 10:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   TKD

      Those cats should really be doing their toilet business outside. I mean really, does the Pope poop in the woods? It’s only logic.

      Feb 5, 2015 at 7:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   Kittymama

      “whale is clearly a veiled reference to to the Beluga Whale . . .” Veiled takes you to Muslim in several fewer steps.

      Feb 9, 2015 at 6:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   TKD

      Let’s not be hasty Kittymama. A slow build up is much more satisfying than simply going right in for a big finish.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 7:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   pooham

    Where did the Skid Marker get the name Judy? Am I missing something? Some new colloquialism?

    Feb 4, 2015 at 9:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   The Elf

      Skid Marker is the name of a supervillian in the Tick universe. Her secret identity is Judy. Shhhhh….. don’t tell anyone.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Ed Decatur

    Some people will flush with their hands, and some with their feet. Notes aren’t going to change that. A reminder to check that the bowl has flushed properly and the seat is clean may be of some value.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 10:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   buni

      I tried that in my office. The note I posted quickly disappeared and I didn’t dare post another. The toilet has since been replaced, so poor flushing performance no longer an issue, thank goodness.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 10:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   britbike

    the foot flushing thing. I have never understood that. I take one sheet of tp and hold it between my hand and the handle, flush, drop it in and turn away before the spray happens. Then I wash my hands, because besides the “You wash your hands!”, everyone opens the stall door when they leave. Unless you can stand on one leg and manipulate the door lock with your toes, you are touching something equally nasty.
    And the 80 year old lady who comes behind you will appreciate not having to wonder about the black shoe gunk left on the handle she needs to us.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 10:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   lo-fi pi

    Foot-flushing mystery solved by an Aussie who explains the American loo to her compatriots: Anerican loos don’t have the flushing button(s) on top of the cistern like us. Theirs is usually a lever-style handle on the front of the cistern ‘wall’ over to the side (ie, not obscured by open toilet lid). It is also lower than the top of the cistern thereby requiring less gymnastic skill than you might have imagined. I think I used to use my foot too, but I’m a bit of a germophobe, so I just would.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 11:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   buni

      Residential-style toilets have a small lever on the side of the tank near the top. Institutional-style toilets don’t have exposed tanks (they also don’t have lids), so the flush-lever is usually located on the side of the bowl. Sometimes it’s on a post to put it more at waist level when standing.
      If I have to bend over to reach the lever, I’ll use my foot instead.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 12:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Raichu

      That’s pretty much right, except most American public toilets don’t have lids :/

      Feb 15, 2015 at 1:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   lo-fi pi

    Do other Aussies always use the ‘full’ flush button like I do? Often the shorter-flush button doesn’t do much. If I was in the outback or the toilet was on a septic system I’d go the halfie. Also, the water level in an American loo is like halfway (higher?) up the toilet bowl. It is so wasteful! Plus big dogs drink out of their toilets. Well, for light relief in bad movies they do!

    Feb 4, 2015 at 11:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   morgannagaia

      I can safely say I do not live in a movie and my gigantic black lab does in fact drink out of the toilet if I forget to close the lid. I don’t mind him drinking the water, its the ruckus he makes while doing it that drives me insane.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 6:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   The Elf

      One of my cats prefers toilet water. This cat also figured out how to flush so he gets fresh water. We eventually bought him a water fountain to save the electric bill.

      But it was the funniest sight to see this cat stand on the seat, work the little handle, watch the water go down, and then put half his body in the hole to lick the new water coming down. I tried to explain to him what the toilet was actually used for, but he didn’t listen. Damn cat.

      Feb 10, 2015 at 7:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Lita bang

      I’d better not let my youngest cat read this. She already opens doors and unplugs things…

      Feb 10, 2015 at 1:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   pooham

      I’ve caught a couple of my cats drinking from the toilet. It grosses me out. What’s weird is that it wouldn’t bother me at all if it were a dog doing it.

      Feb 11, 2015 at 11:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   pooham

      I’ve caught two of my cats drinking from the toilet. That grosses me out. But for some reason I’m not bothered by the idea of a dog drinking from the toilet.

      Feb 11, 2015 at 6:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Lita bang

    Well, shit.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 1:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Lil'

      Such a potty mouth.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 2:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #23.2   Lita bang

      Toilet humor. :D

      Feb 4, 2015 at 3:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   kaetra

    Use some clean toilet paper to flush, then drop the paper in the toilet as it’s flushing.

    You wipe your poopy butt with toilet paper, surely you wouldn’t mind touching the handle with toilet paper?

    You’re welcome.

    Feb 4, 2015 at 2:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   phoenix

      Doesn’t work for folks stuck at places where the handle is literally an inch above the bowl. Bending over and sticking your face so close to a flushing toilet is off-putting to those folks, and no amount of toilet paper will help that.

      Feb 4, 2015 at 4:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   kaetra

      I have never seen such bowls. I cannot imagine what that would even look like. Sounds pretty sh*tty.

      Feb 9, 2015 at 11:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   WHAAt

    WHO is getting poop on their hands?!!??
    In the 27 years of wiping my own ass, I’ve never gotten shit on my hands. Are they wiping without toilet paper? WTF?

    Feb 5, 2015 at 7:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Ahava

    I put up this sign at work and people got all “annoyed”. Whatever.

    If you sprinkle
    when you tinkle
    please be neat
    and clean up after your nasty self ya animal!

    Feb 5, 2015 at 9:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   jono

    We all have fingernails to help get the skidmarks out. Otherwise the bowl might not get clean enough. As long as you don’t chew your fingernails this works well.

    Feb 5, 2015 at 10:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   sunshynegrll

    Just gonna leave this here – http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/in-the-loop/wp/2015/02/03/the-next-public-health-debate-hand-washing/

    Feb 6, 2015 at 3:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   TMISally

    Oh gosh… This is probably wayyyyyy too TMI and serious for this website, but this was posted in a medical building and all so…
    I have a condition called chronic pancreatitis, and anyone who has cystic fibrosis with exocrine dysfunction will probably sympathize with me, but we have to take pancreatic enzymes to digest our food, because we can’t digest our own food. That means we can’t digest the oils in our food (or like, part of our food, so we’re always a bit malnourished), which means our stools are oily and gross, and low-flow toilets are essentially the bane of our existence because you get these GIANT oil-based partially-undigested cow plops essentially on the ceramic of the toilet bowl and it can take INFINITY flushes to get them down. Heck, low water pressure or a bad U-bend is enough to cause a problem. I’ve had toilets where 6 flushes got the worst of it down, but there was still paper in the bottom and the bowl looked horrible, but like… what was I going to do? I can’t just keep flushing all day. At some point you just say “eh… I’ll try to schedule my bathroom breaks before the janitor scheduled cleans”.
    So yeah. Um… *ahem*. Uh. Enjoy your lunch?

    Feb 6, 2015 at 8:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   The Elf

      You made my day.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 12:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   kermit

      Stuff like this doesn’t only happen for crappy diseases.

      People who have had lap band surgery to make their stomach smaller (a la Al Roker) in an effort to combat their obesity also have this issue of oily poops.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 1:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.3   Lita bang

      Also people who are taking certain diet pills, apparently. I’ve heard alli makes you do nothing but shit pure orange oil that looks like pizza grease.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 2:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.4   Belaani

      Holy shit!

      Feb 6, 2015 at 2:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.5   The Elf

      Pretty sure that shit is Unholy and needs to be exorcised.

      Feb 6, 2015 at 2:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.6   Poltergeist

      I’m not sure if this discussion should be encouraged or not, but you people deserve a medal anyway.

      Feb 7, 2015 at 12:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.7   L

      Alli also causes “anal seepage”.

      I mean, phen-fen was like, literally killing people. Better to be dead than fat though.

      Feb 8, 2015 at 3:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.8   FeRD bang

      Live fast, die young, and leave a corpse that fits in a standard-sized casket!

      Feb 9, 2015 at 1:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   nightfalltwen

    It’s obvious the response is photoshopped on top of the actual response. I don’t buy it.

    Feb 7, 2015 at 3:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #31   Rebecca

    I find the first note to be the funniest. How can someone think they can actually command people not to make “skid marks”?

    Feb 7, 2015 at 11:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   Aidan Waite

    Funny like this, just this Video!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0t189pklUU

    Feb 9, 2015 at 3:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   The Beast Among Us

      You are a very disturbed man, Aidan. Very disturbed.

      Feb 17, 2015 at 3:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #33   Kasaba

    Once in a microbiology practical, the cotton plug in my pipette came loose and I sucked up a mouthful of E.coli broth. Didn’t get even mildly sick.

    Feb 9, 2015 at 12:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   Belaani

      Instant hurl.

      Feb 9, 2015 at 1:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.2   Poltergeist

      How far into a relationship should one be before it’s safe to tell this story without risking your significant other refusing to ever kiss you again and leaving you in disgust? I’m thinking 5 years.

      Feb 9, 2015 at 2:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.3   Lita bang

      Yum, bacteria.

      Feb 9, 2015 at 4:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #33.4   Kasaba

      My friends and I thought I was on an express train to bowl shattering diarrhoea, but(t) that train never arrived. No, woot, woot. Mildly disappointing. For them anyway. They must have been making bets on ETA from Mouth to Shartville.

      Feb 10, 2015 at 5:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #34   assiveProgressive

    I believe the subway reference means Subway restaurants, where Jared poops. There is a Subway every 500 feet in America, and it is where anyone can go to take a dump.
    Last year I Encountered a toilet that was designed to thwart foot flushers. The lever was about at eye level. Just to be an ahole, I kicked my foot up and flushed it. Ha. Judy cannot keep me down.

    Feb 10, 2015 at 12:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   Poltergeist

      The mental image of somebody doing a standing split in order to flush a toilet is making me giddy.

      Feb 10, 2015 at 2:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.2   The Elf

      I’m going to need a Van Damme video demonstrating the epic split required to flush a toilet with lever 5-6ft above the floor.

      Feb 10, 2015 at 7:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #34.3   assiveProgressive

      I am very proud of myself, considering my age and whatnot

      Feb 11, 2015 at 1:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #35   Trixie.in.Dixie bang

    I was taught as a child specifically to use my foot to activate flushing lever on a public toilet, so I have always used my feet on that kind where the lever stick thing is behind the toilet seat, just at or below the level of the seat. No way am I leaning my face over the toilet or putting my hands on that lever. Having only ever used my foot to flush that type of toilet, I have always assumed that everyone else would do the same – so why in hell would I put my hand on it, even if I’m going to wash them anyway? Gross. Nowadays most places have auto flushers, but if you’re traveling and have to stop at a fast food place or a gas station, chances are they will have the old manual flush thing and who knows what nastiness has been through there??

    Feb 10, 2015 at 3:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   pooham

    When travelling I prefer to stop at Luv’s. Their bathrooms are always very clean.

    Feb 11, 2015 at 11:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #37   joshb

    No subway? Where do they eat? I can’t imagine living in a place without $5 footlongs. I don’t care how nasty the bathrooms are.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 9:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #37.1   The Elf

      I’m sure Skidmarker could make you some footlongs. It would cost a lot less and taste the same.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 1:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
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    Feb 15, 2015 at 1:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   The Elf

      You eat that much spam, you’re gonna leave some skid marks. Perhaps that is what notewriter meant with “high amounts of oils”.

      Feb 18, 2015 at 7:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
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