Some office fridge requests

February 12th, 2015 · 87 comments

(via reddit)

related: Do you pocket like it’s hot?

FILED UNDER: office fridge


87 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Tesselara

    When fridge thieves die, they join a circle of hell where, in the grandest Sisyphean style, they do a long day’s work , get hungry as hell, go to grab their food, and it’s gone! On some, especially hellish days, their food will be there, but someone will take it out of their hands right as they are about to take the first bite.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 9:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Lil'

      Sounds like someone’s had their lunch stolen a time or two, huh?

      Feb 12, 2015 at 10:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Tesselara

      Actually, never! But my rage if this were to happen would know no bounds! I find myself wondering if folks who take peoples’ lunches are just completely unaware of their transition from childhood (and free access to fridge contents) to adulthood (and the fact that you need to buy your own food).

      I especially find unrepentant food thieves to be incomprehensible. Nothing says, “I’m a childish d-bag” than a “yeah, I did it” note.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   The Beast Among Us

      I had my food stolen a few times. A couple of Ex-Lax brownies solved the problem.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 4:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   @The Beast

      The dumbest thing about poisoning your own food is that it’s illegal. Why? It’s my food. I should be able to do whatever I want with it. But apparently knowing that the food will be stolen means you are responsible for the safety of thieves. Ridiculous!

      Next time, I recommend making a cat turd sandwich. Then you’re legally safe and the thought of someone eating cat turds can brighten your day!

      Feb 12, 2015 at 5:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   Ed Decatur

      It is poor Tantalus whose food and water are always near, but just out of reach.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 5:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Tesselara

      I forgot about him! Sisyphus’ story was the one that stuck in my mind, because of the utter futility of his task. Tantalus is better for my example though, for sure.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 6:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   The Elf

      If Tantalus is anywhere near this fridge, NO ONE EAT THE STEW.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 7:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   havingfitz

      My supervisor years ago was a very big guy who brought a KFC 10-piece for his lunch. When he took it out of the refrigerator, someone had eaten all the chicken off the bones and put them back in the box. Another coworker felt sorry for him for losing his lunch and gave him an unopened box of cookies. When he got up to use the restroom, someone stole them off his desk. The office joke was that we needed to duct-tape our underwear on because if not, someone would try to nick it.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 9:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Poltergeist

      I’m willing to bet it was the same person who stole the KFC and the cookies. There are plenty of bad supervisors out there who are rightfully despised by other employees, but stealing their food is just such a shitty, childish thing to do.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 11:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   havingfitz

      Agreed, and this supervisor was really friendly and laid-back. One of those people it’s hard not to like. Not that someone who is nasty deserves to be stolen from, but this guy really didn’t. He would have given his lunch to someone who was hungry if they’d just asked.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 11:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Poltergeist

      That makes what they did to him even worse. Since you said he was a big guy, I’m thinking the culprit might have been some asshole who looks down on anybody who is overweight.

      “Look at that slob. I’ll do him a favor and steal his KFC…Oh great, now the fat ass got himself some cookies. Might as well swipe those too. I’m makng the world a better place, and I get free food in the process. Everybody wins!”

      Feb 13, 2015 at 5:31 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   FeRD bang

    A Trader Joe’s blended organic sludge actually growing its own legs and walking away is a perfectly reasonable hypothesis. But unless this is a biotech facility or university science department, consulting the other staff for explanations may not be particularly helpful.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 10:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   TRT

      I work in a biological research department in a university science department and believe me, there’s no need for the sludge to evolve any form of motive power as there’s sufficient resources within a typical shared fridge environment to keep it alive for billions of generations.
      We have weekly battles at the administration meeting trying to devise ways of getting people to clean out the food they’ve left in there. The record was a five year old pot of yoghurt that eventually exploded and took out the icebox.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 10:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   FeRD bang

      Well then, M. or Mmme. Smartypants, how do you explain the Trader Joe’s Green Juice escape reported by notewriter TN.

      Unless… ohhh, wait. Now I get it. That isn’t the notewriter’s initials, it’s the location! TN stands for Tennessee.

      …They don’t teach Evolution there. :roll:

      Feb 12, 2015 at 10:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   TRT

      I think they don’t teach it because it never happened there.

      Feb 16, 2015 at 5:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   JoDa

      @TRT, when we had a shared fridge, once a month, everything in it was tossed. Including the containers. It was always the last Friday of the month at 5 PM on the nose, and an email went out on the Monday and Thursday before, so everyone was warned. The duty to dump it all in the hall trash (which got emptied at night) rotated around the office. It didn’t stop all unusual growths, but it certainly improved the situation.

      Now that I have my own fridge…it has some kind of funky smell that developed in the last couple of months, and I can’t figure out what it is for the life of me. I’ve never let anything rot in there, and cleaned it out with glass cleaner. Still won’t go away. Maybe I need to send your lab a swab. :)

      Feb 18, 2015 at 6:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   JoDa

      @TRT, when we had a shared fridge, once a month, everything in it was tossed. Including the containers. It was always the last Friday of the month at 5 PM on the nose, and an email went out on the Monday and Thursday before, so everyone was warned. The duty to dump it all in the hall trash (which got emptied at night) rotated around the office. It didn’t stop all unusual growths, but it certainly improved the situation.

      Now that I have my own fridge…it has some kind of funky smell that developed in the last couple of months, and I can’t figure out what it is for the life of me. I’ve never let anything rot in there, and cleaned it out with glass cleaner. Still won’t go away. Maybe I need to send your lab a swab. :)

      Feb 18, 2015 at 6:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   kermit

      To make/prevent weird smell fridges, get some baking soda. Leave an open box in the fridge all the time, or if you can spare a plastic shallow open container, dump the baking soda in there and stick that in the fridge.

      Glass cleaner won’t make smells go away. The cheapest/best fridge cleaner is baking soda and vinegar paste. Smear that on the walls inside the fridge, leave overnight and wipe it off the next day. This also works great as an oven cleaner as well.

      Feb 18, 2015 at 7:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   FeRD bang

    In my experience, the solution to faggy yogurt theft is butcher yogurt. Try Dannon. Definitely not Yoplait, because… French? C’mon.

    Also, who refrigerates hot dogs? At WORK? I can’t even. There is zero chance someone else is eating them, though. Most likely, doing the poster a favor by throwing them out.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 10:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Lita bang

      Well, we know it isn’t Joan, she only throws out hot dogs left on the counter…

      Feb 12, 2015 at 12:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Jami

      Um, why wouldn’t they? Hot dogs need to be refrigerated. That’s why they’re in the refrigerated section at the store. As for why at work – why not? Some people like to keep stuff they can cook quickly at work.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 8:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   The Elf

      Eh, not really. They do need to be refrigerated for multiple day storage. But ‘dogs are so processed (even the good ones) that they go a half day or so without refrigeration. Especially if you go for the insulated bag and icepack.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 7:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Jami

      Again, some people like to keep things at work they can cook quickly. I’ve had coworkers who kept multiple frozen meals so they didn’t have to bring a lunch every day. So those hot dogs might’ve been that person’s lunch for the week.

      Feb 14, 2015 at 9:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   kermit

      If you’re eating hot dogs for a week, the lunch thief did you a favor by taking them. Sheesh, there’s better and cheaper food out there than hot dogs. A can of salmon is like $3. A can of smoked oysters is even cheaper than that.

      Feb 14, 2015 at 11:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Poltergeist

      It really doesn’t matter what you think of hot dogs kermit. There are plenty of people who like hot dogs. If they want to eat it for lunch, that’s their choice, and they don’t need to be scrutinized for that choice. Having your food stolen, no matter what the food, is not doing you a “favor.”

      Feb 14, 2015 at 11:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Jami

      What Poltergiest said.

      Not to mention there are three day “diets” that have hot dogs on the menu. (Look up The Military Diet.) And people who have issues where they have to eat the same food at the same time every day.

      And maybe that person is allergic to salmon.

      Feb 14, 2015 at 5:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   L

      I’m fond of the “keep your eyes on your own plate” rule. You’re the boss of what goes into your own body, not anyone else’s

      Feb 18, 2015 at 5:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   JoDa

      I need to print this out on stickers and put it on my lunch. There’s one *particularly* pleasant person in our lunch group who likes to comment on what I’m eating every day, apparently because I’m larger (at a whopping size 8-10) than said person thinks I should be. So while they sit there and eat off the “Chinese” buffet (yes, fried low-quality meat slathered in sugary and/or fatty sauce, with fried rice), I get, regarding my daily salad and piece of fruit: “you know, avocados have a lot of fat in them!” or “did you measure this salad dressing? It sure has a lot of calories!” or (my favorite, when I brought leftovers (roasted pork loin with veggies) instead of my usual salad) “wow…that looks good! Probably heavier than your usual, but tasty, right!”

      Maybe I can even order custom tupperware printed with “eyes on your own damn plate, bitch!”

      Feb 18, 2015 at 7:05 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   kermit

      Meh, as a person that’s done the bureaucrat tenure (except not for the US government), where conditions were much the same, and also worked in a nicely decked out private sector office, I’d rather just bring in my own stuff.

      My take-away is that if they give you free drinks/food, they’re not doing it to be nice; they’re doing it to be humane because you’re not getting out of there in a reasonable time frame to be able to get your own drinks and food.

      Feb 19, 2015 at 2:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   JoDa

      That’s certainly true in some offices. I don’t even want a buffet like some of my law-office friends have (because, you’re right, they provide oatmeal and granola bars and fruit and such because their staff is going to be there for-ever every day). But coffee/tea (or at least the pot/kettle) and a water cooler? And a provided microwave and mini-fridge? Those seem to be basic things that most offices, even those not so grueling, provide. During my time in the private sector, we did a straight 8-hours and had a water cooler, (cheap) coffee, and (basic Lipton) tea. They also stocked the fridge with sodas, but we had to pay for them (If I’m remembering correctly, it was $.30 (that was a while ago, so maybe $.50 today)? Just covering the cost). That seems like the “happy medium” to me.

      Feb 20, 2015 at 7:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   pooham

    I hate people who steal. They’re right up there with people who don’t have car insurance in my book.

    And they are everywhere. The snack bar money where I used to work had to be moved to a lock box that was chained to the counter due to repeated thefts. And pretty much everyone there had to have a security clearance.

    People without insurance are everywhere too. Around the same time as the snack bar thefts one of my co-workers was in an accident with someone on base who didn’t have insurance. Not only is insurance required in my state, but it is also required to drive your vehicle on the base.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 10:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   FeRD bang

      It blows my mind that there are still places without no-fault insurance rules. “Your insurance covers what happens to you”, no relying on the other person’s coverage. What’s not sensible about that?

      Feb 12, 2015 at 11:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   labdude

      Well, I live and work in that *one* state nobody wants to cover. Besieged by ads for cheap insurance, I have developed a quick eye fro disclaimers that include “not available in MA” – which is almost all of them. My favorite? Being dropped by Allstate because they no longer wanted to do business in Massachusetts. There’s irony.
      As if that were not enough, one of the other perks of living here is being neighbors with New Hampshire – where car insurance is optional. My last car was recently totaled by a kid in a pick-up truck who left the scene. A witness identified the truck and saw NH plates, but couldn’t get the number. I suspect he had no insurance.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 11:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Raichu

      Wow. That really sucks. :( :(

      Feb 15, 2015 at 12:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.4   pooham

      The thing that is so bad about people not having insurance is that when they cause an accident it costs the victim of their negligence thousands of dollars and a lot of aggravation when they did nothing wrong. (And already paid thousands in insurance premiums.)

      Feb 17, 2015 at 11:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.5   Raichu

      The whole car insurance system is fucked up. Peoples’ insurance should cover their cars, regardless of the reason they got messed up.

      Feb 21, 2015 at 3:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Lita bang

    What’s so bad about this fridge that all the food is running away, hmm?

    Feb 12, 2015 at 12:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   sherphil67

    I dare someone to steal my lunch twice. They aren’t going to be happy with the results.
    Why can’t they invent a lunch box with a lock?

    Feb 12, 2015 at 12:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Jami

      Look up “Fridge Locker.”

      Feb 12, 2015 at 8:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   LiquidCourage

    That juice was fucking delicious.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 12:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Elf

      Mmmmhmmmm. I love to have green sludge juice with my hot dogs and side of fat free greek yogurt. But it’s getting old. So, how about….

      TN? Switch it up a little,hon. Green sludge juice gets old. Bring in some lemonade next time. I’m hankering for some good lemonade!

      And Daniel? 0% is kind of blah. 2% or full fat is so much better, and would it kill you to put a little honey on that?

      Red? Hot dogs? Really, hot dogs? Let’s step it up to some yummy brats, okay?

      I need some variety for my One-Elf personal lunch buffet.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 1:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   kermit

      Elf, you’re always welcome to have my head cheese sandwich.
      Disclaimer: contains no head and no cheese

      Feb 12, 2015 at 7:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   SilentPsycho

    If anyone from work ever steals my lunch, it wouldb be easy to find out who. I’d just need to look for the person with flames coming out of their mouths after one bite.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 12:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Beast Among Us

      Amen to spicy food.

      Feb 12, 2015 at 5:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   magicdomino

      And it is perfectly legal. You can get arrested for using contaminated food as bait for food thieves (apparently booby traps are considered assault in some areas). But if you enjoy liverwurst and jelly sandwiches, or habernero poppers, the food thief has no room for complaint. Although he/she probably will anyway.

      Feb 19, 2015 at 10:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Pants Go Brown

    I think the hot dogs might have been stolen by ‘The Skidmark Lady’ in the previous post.

    With a bit of effort, would be pretty easy to prove.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 1:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Chunk-Style

    Daniel, is it the eighth time or is it like the eighth time?

    Feb 12, 2015 at 1:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Belaani

    An insulated bag can be kept under your desk, where you can guard it like cerberus!

    Feb 12, 2015 at 4:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Beast Among Us

      Woof!
      Woof!
      Woof!

      Feb 12, 2015 at 5:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   The Elf

      I’ m a big beliver in the insulated bag. I have brought in a full breakfast, lunch, and two snacks that way. I’ll even pour a little bit of milk into a small thermos.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 7:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   labdude

      I have worked places where just about anything except for ladies’ purses had to be left out of the immediate work area. This included lunch bags, backpacks, briefcases, etc. Lunch bags were also *explicitly* excluded, as no food or drink was allowed in the lab.
      The result: you left your lunch in the fridge, or in our group’s communal cubicle. Fortunately, out of the 8 of us who worked in that lab, 5 of us were military veterans who understood implicitly that personal food was not to be messed with – the other 3 were too scared of us to be a problem. :-)

      Feb 17, 2015 at 12:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   da neil

    hi– long time lurker first time poster. i work in a call center– no locker room– not allowed to keep our coat (coat room) or lunch at our desk. so i bought a lunch bag with 2 zippers—- and pad lock the zippers together. (after having all or part of my lunch go missing at least once a week). ive also made ex lax brownies– and figured out who “got sick” . we also have 50 people rotating out of teh lunch room every 30 minutes with only 2 microwaves, 1 toaster , no other means of heating lunch, so i eat a lot of cold lunches. one girl at work had her lunch go missing every day– every single day– so she brought in rotting fish wrapped up as a spring roll. next day she brought in urine in a mt dew bottle. they stopped stealing her lunch.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 10:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Madrias

    I’m the guy who goes for things that are nuclear hot. You know, the slice of pizza with a heavy coating of spicy red pepper dust (a personal blend of cayenne, habanero, and ghost pepper, for flavor and heat).

    Had people steal my lunch, and word spreads fast about the guy who nearly drains the water cooler because the one bite he took was way too hot.

    Feb 12, 2015 at 11:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Lita bang

      That sounds delicious, Madrias.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 12:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Madrias

      Usually it is. I’ve overdone it a couple times and suffered for it, but I’ve just about got the blend right. As for lunch thieves, it’s got a 100% success rate at deterring further thefts. Only took one person to spread the news.

      Feb 18, 2015 at 5:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   havingfitz

    Been working in call centers since 1998 and I have to say the strangest thing I’ve ever had stolen (and I’ve had a lot of lunches taken over the years) was a bag of potatoes I bought that morning on the way to work. Still not quite sure I understand that one…who decides to steal a lunch, opens up the fridge, and goes “Oohhhh, raw potatoes!”?

    Feb 13, 2015 at 9:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Christinc

      Why do you refrigerate potatoes?

      Feb 13, 2015 at 10:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   havingfitz

      It was a big industrial-size refrigerator and we weren’t allowed to have food of any kind at our desk. I passed a grocery store on the way to work and it was easier to pop in, grab a few things, and then keep them in the refrigerator until the end of my shift. It never occurred to me that someone would run off with my potatoes…

      Feb 13, 2015 at 11:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   pooham

      No potatoes at your desk!

      Feb 17, 2015 at 4:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Scotty

    A mousetrap inside a brown paper bag should solve the problem!

    Feb 13, 2015 at 10:42 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Lita bang

      Oh snap.

      Feb 13, 2015 at 12:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   Raichu

    The last note was funny, but hopefully put up by someone facetious who isn’t the actual thief. Because being a lunch thief is such a huge dick move.

    Feb 15, 2015 at 12:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Christine

    My grandma worked in the office at a large community college. She and the other office girls bought/brewed their own coffee, each paying .25/cup every time they had some. One of the professors (easily paid 4x what the office ladies made) would sneak in and help himself without paying plinking in a few cents only if someone was watching (grandma suspected this and finally proved it by emptying the money jar when she saw him approaching the staff break room, waiting until he noisily dropped coins in and immediately opening the jar and confronting him with the two pennies it now held).

    He was also permanently banned from the student cafeteria for frequently pocketing hard-boiled eggs.

    Fun fact, he never taught winter quarter because he was also our district’s state senator.

    Feb 15, 2015 at 10:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Poltergeist

      25 fucking cents was too expensive for him? What an absolute loser.

      Feb 17, 2015 at 12:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Tesselara

      That last fun fact was extra-fun. Oh, I do love our country’s politicians. They’re the outdoor cat owners of the world.

      Feb 18, 2015 at 6:35 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   JoDa

      Confession time (not in the way you think it is), I’m a federal employee. Bureaucrat, if you fancy that term. If we want a water cooler in our office, we have to pool our money together to get it. If we want a coffee pot, we have to bring our own. If we want a microwave or fridge in our office, we have to share the cost or buy our own.

      Am I offended by those circumstances? Only a little. What I am offended by is the elected officials who have, over and over again, claimed that I am pampered, overpaid, and underworked, would find these circumstances APPALLING in their own work environment. If a Congressman was told to buy his own coffee maker, contribute to the office pool, or go to Starbucks on his own dime, he’d, most likely, throw a fit. He’d probably have a double conniption if he was told the office “water club” was full, but the neighboring office’s had some open slots, $8/ month, payable to the secretary who places the orders and makes sure only *authorized users* use the water cooler. But that’s what we do up here in the Executive Branch offices. I’d really enjoy having one of them try to do my work, for my pay, in my office environment, for even a week…

      Feb 18, 2015 at 8:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   The Elf

      Another fed here. And yeah, cheeses me right off. I understand the laws in place preventing appropriated dollars from being spent on food and drink, except under very specific circumstances. Those laws have gotten a lot stricter since certain people decided that taxpayer-provided entertainment clowns were a valid conference expense. (Thanks GSA for making training harder for the rest of us!)

      But I can live with that because everything is being paid for by taxpayer dollars and we need to be guardians of those dollars. But then I see Congressmen – who have taxpayer provided salaries and offices and staff – get every perk in the book and then have the gall to complain about us.

      I can at least chalk it up to ignorance when I hear the average joe run off at the mouth about some imagined perk, but Congressmen don’t have that excuse.

      Feb 19, 2015 at 7:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   DaveS

      As a state employee I can completely sympathize. I have no problem with the fact that we have to pool our own money for our office refrigerator, coffee maker, microwave, etc. I agree that state money shouldn’t be spent for things like that.

      I also agree that no state workers should accept gifts from anyone. But sometimes I think they take things a bit too far.

      Like the training at IBM that I went to last year. We were told by the facilitators there that normally they put out refreshments in the room, like coffee and danishes, or things like that. And would even supply us with sandwiches at lunch. But they are explicitly told that they are not allowed to supply state workers with anything at all, or they risk losing their state contract.

      Of course New York state did not save a penny on the cost of the training by not allowing us any refreshments on IBM’s dime. But I suppose they prevented us from being “bribed” with coffee and pastries.

      While every year we have more and more legislators who make these rules indicted on corruption charges!

      Feb 19, 2015 at 4:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   JoDa

      No joke on the restrictions, Elf. We put in a request to provide sodas, water, and cookies for an in-house group we founded, and were hunted down by people at high levels to tell us “YOU CAN’T DO THAT!” in the most forceful of terms. So we (the officers of the group) just take turns baking/buying something to snack on and tell people to bring a beverage. We were just trying to get people involved in something that would be beneficial to their career/performance! It’s cool, we don’t mind doing it, but the *attitude* that we were trying to “steal” something by offering $20 worth of snacks and drinks was off-putting.

      Feb 20, 2015 at 7:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   JoDa

      I’m surprised you couldn’t take the goodies, Dave. When I attend professional training and conferences, I am allowed to take the snacks/swag bags/lunches/dinners/etc. because they are “included in the fee.” I guess, in that case, we’re paying full market rate and not the only ones at the conference/in the training, and none of us actually select our vendors, but that’s always been a line item on our travel/purchase orders (“provided meals/supplies”). Of course, if we’re traveling, that provided meal *also* reduces are per diem (fine by me…I usually get a better meal than I’d be able to afford on the $7 the government allows me for lunch), but we’ve always been allowed to take anything “offered to all participants/attendees who paid the training/conference fee.”

      Feb 20, 2015 at 7:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.8   JoDa

      Although, as a final thought, I will say we had some problems with this with international travel in my last position. If we went to a US company to review their practices (we were in compliance), they’d bring in a sandwich and veggie trays and chips and sodas for lunch, and that was always fine because it was “low value.” When we went to the foreign companies, they always wanted to buy us these extravagant lunches, and we had to get their lawyers to explain that we couldn’t accept anything more than a very basic meal. More than once, we got *to* the restaurant before we realized how expensive it was and had to insist that we pay our own portion of the bill or go somewhere cheaper. After years in that job, I got in the habit of asking our interpreters to find out where they were planning to take us to lunch and find out how expensive it was in the morning, so we could head off the problem with less embarrassment. They can buy me a sandwich or some ramen. They cannot buy me lunch in the nicest restaurant in town. That’s how I always explained it to our interpreters.

      Feb 20, 2015 at 7:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Nigel Greeps

    My cousin swears this is true. He was working in Holland a few years ago when he kept getting his lunch stolen. Nobody admitted to it.

    So he put an unlabelled pot brownie (legal there) in the fridge. The culprit was easy to identify – it was the person who was stoned off their face that afternoon.

    Feb 16, 2015 at 11:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Jami

    This post now has me craving spicy food.

    Feb 17, 2015 at 9:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   assiveProgressive

      Or pot brownies

      Feb 19, 2015 at 10:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   Jami

      I’d rather eat ten ghost peppers with no milk near by then a single pot brownie.

      Feb 19, 2015 at 3:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   Madrias

      Agreed, Jami. Would rather deal with a mouth that feels like I’ve swallowed a blowtorch. It’s something I’m rather used to.

      Feb 21, 2015 at 2:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.4   buni

      On the radio this morning, I heard a story of a man whose wife’s lunch was getting stolen nearly every day. So he made he a batch of chicken wings for her to take to work, using ghost peppers and some ultra-hot sauce. He even tested them himself to make sure they were “safe” to eat. The wife reported hearing screaming coming from the office kitchen shortly before lunch-time. Her lunch hasn’t gotten stolen since.

      Feb 26, 2015 at 11:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   kaetra

    We caught a lunchroom thief red-handed once, sitting at the table with another person’s lunch bag laying open right in front of him, eating their sandwich. He literally had no shame. None. “Oh, this is yours? You want it back?”

    Apparently this is a global problem. I just don’t get it. At all. There must be a lot more sociopaths in the world than we think.

    Feb 18, 2015 at 2:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   assiveProgressive

    Well, that’s a first. Nobody else seems to be able to catch their lunch thieves. Why is that? Are they furtively eating their stolen foodstuffs in the bathroom stall, with Judy’s skidmarks for atmosphere?

    Feb 19, 2015 at 10:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Jami

      Scattered lunch times, sneaking the food, and wolfing it down all contribute.

      Feb 19, 2015 at 3:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Raichu

      I’d say scattered lunch times would be the biggest culprit. I mean, I don’t know, do most offices all break for lunch at the same time? At my workplace (which does have a few communal fridges) everyone’s shifts and lunches are staggered because of the nature of the job. Fortunately, I have yet to have anyone steal my lunch. Dunno what I’d do if that became a problem because we don’t have individual workspaces. (There are lockers, but they’re small and out of the way. Also I don’t have one yet…)

      Feb 21, 2015 at 3:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
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    Feb 26, 2015 at 2:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Madrias

      Sorry, I always thought dealing with loan sharks was bad for your health. Try scamming somewhere else, shithead.

      Feb 26, 2015 at 4:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   The Elf

      Advertising in blog comments really makes me question his business model.

      Feb 26, 2015 at 10:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Lynsey

    I eat other people’s lunches. And return the packaging to the refrigerator.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 10:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   MustacheHam

    This gives me an idea on how to deter office fridge thieves – like a trap. For instance make a trick soda like Sprite (because it’s clear) and replace it with white vinegar.

    hmm…I have more ideas, I may make a video on YT for it. ;)

    Mar 7, 2015 at 10:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     

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