Well, that’s legitimately creepy.

March 3rd, 2015 · 48 comments

I don’t typically like to post notes submitted by the person who left them, but I made an exception for this note by Geoff in New Zealand.

Writes Geoff:  ”Someone actually threw out my lunch (still in its container) within an hour of putting it in the fridge at work. It was a really nice lunch., too. I thought someone had stolen it, then, for some reason I looked in the garbage can…it was covered in coffee grounds and snotty looking tissues. I was mad. Next day I brought lunch again. I wanted to be sure no one would even think of doing it again so I wrote the note, photographed it so my picture would accompany the note, and wrapped it around my lunch with elastic bands. No one has ever thrown my lunch out again.”

This is my lunch for thursday December 17. If you throw it out, I will destroy you. That is all.

related: With some fava beans and a nice Chianti

FILED UNDER: kinda creepy · New Zealand · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · stealing


48 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Belaani

    Bring it, Geoff. Next time I’m stapling it to the F’ng ceiling.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 11:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   The Beast Among Us

      “If you throw it out, I will destroy you.”

      Apparently, he won’t do shit if you staple it to the ceiling.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 2:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   DaveS

      I still wouldn’t try it. Moby looks pissed!

      Mar 10, 2015 at 3:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Raichu

    Hm. Was it a break room cleaning day or something? I know in some places when they clean they throw out anything that’s not dated. Still, if it was during a regular lunch time, they should have known better.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 11:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Kate

      I once had half of an ice cream cake thrown out for that reason. Someone decided to clean out the freezer and just started tossing everything, even the cake leftover from my bridal shower that had only been in there a few hours.

      Mar 4, 2015 at 3:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   assiveProgressive

      Nah, I would bet the thief took the lunch out and decided it smelled funny or didnt have enough cookies or something and then just threw it away. Because thats what jerks do

      Mar 4, 2015 at 11:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   C

      Had someone come back into the main office and start yelling about this once, that someone had stolen his food, very mature, etc etc etc. Turns out he’d put it in the fridge shortly before the cleanout, at 3 oclock, which was announced with multiple BRIGHT PINK eye-level signs (that had been up for several days in advance) that EVERYTHING in the fridge that did not have a name and date was going out.
      And he was still mad! Like somehow the fridge-cleaner should have known that this one un-named un-dated sandwich was from him today.

      Mar 5, 2015 at 5:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   rushgirl2112

      I once had the thankless job of cleaning out the office refrigerator and had a similar situation. A week’s notice with email reminders and a sign on the fridge, with instructions to simply put your name on the item/s you didn’t want to be thrown out. It was done at the end of the workday.

      And we would STILL have upset people who had containers thrown away. Look, if it’s not important enough to you to go put your name on it, why should it be important enough to me to dump the food, wash out your container, and track you down to give it to you?

      Mar 7, 2015 at 3:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Terygent

      I am in charge of the fridge cleanouts in my office. We still have bits food matter stuck to the ceiling from when an enraged (and incapable of reading emails and signs) employee tore apart the garbage that was filled with a fridge worth of old food, Tupperware and past date yogurt looking for his sparkling soda.

      Mar 10, 2015 at 3:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Raichu

    Also, I had my first experience with food theft last week and thought of this site. Myself and four other co-workers got dinner from a local carry-out grill, they gave me their money for their food, and I picked it up. We can’t all break at the same time; myself and one co-worker ate and after we got back some of the others went. We made sure everyone’s food was in the bag. I didn’t put it in the fridge because it was fresh and hot at the time. 15 minutes after I left the break room another co-worker went to eat her dinner and her main course plus one of her sides was gone :(

    In hindsight I should have put it somewhere more secretive. But I was pissed. So was my co-worker.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 11:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Beast Among Us

      The fact that you feel you should have hidden your own food is sad. People need to leave other people’s belongings alone. Theft is theft, no matter the location from which it was taken.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 2:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   poopypants

      Does your place have the policy that counter space is free-for-all? I worked at a place like that. It wasn’t that we were all sneaky bastards (though many of us were), it was just that that’s where people would put food they wanted to share with everyone.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 6:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Poltergeist

      Poopypants – Maybe if they took one piece of cake or one doughnut from a box or a few chips from a bowl on the counter I could see that being a possibility (and even then you should always ask before helping yourself), but somebody’s dinner in a bag? No way. The asshole knew it wasn’t meant for them.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 7:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Lita bang

      I gotta agree with Beast, that’s sad. :| Your poor coworker.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 8:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   JustPunkin

      Where we work, counter food is free food. Sometimes, a big group will have lunch brought in, and if anything is left, it’s put on the counter and free to the a good home.

      Mar 4, 2015 at 8:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Raichu

      It was on a table and still warm. Sometimes people leave things that are clearly leftovers on the table but in this case, I thought it was clear that it was not public. I decided to stop doing that though and leave them in our department’s storage cubicle instead.

      Then a couple of days ago (between me writing that comment and this one) I had pizza stolen out of the cubicle. :( So there is definitely a thief, and I will have to start hiding my food more carefully than that.

      Mar 7, 2015 at 7:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Te Beast Among Us

      Spike something with ghost chile powder. Your food will never disappear again.

      Mar 9, 2015 at 11:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Walter, NH

      Or leave a few bars of chocolate ex-lax behind.

      Mar 10, 2015 at 2:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   SnarkyPark

      Five simple steps:
      1. Order a pizza.
      2. Add your own creative topping (such as urine, which one of my college roommates did).
      3. Leave the pizza out in an area obviously not meant for public sharing (don’t leave it on the counter, silly).
      4. Once the pizza disappears, announce to all and sundry what has transpired.
      5. Sit back and enjoy the show.

      Mar 11, 2015 at 3:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   Bob

      6. Get fired because colleague(s) got food poisoning.

      Mar 12, 2015 at 7:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.11   SnarkyPark

      In that case, just leave out some rat poison and get fired for them eating that stuff, too.

      Mar 12, 2015 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.12   Ginger

      Pucker Butt Pepper Company sells hot sauce, salsa, and puree made from Carolina Reapers. just sayin…

      Apr 7, 2015 at 10:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Lil'

    You should have probably written the year, too. Just to be safe.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 12:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   TRT

    The number of hours I’ve had to waste sitting in the administration meeting listening to the complaints about the state of the fridge…
    We’ve introduced a blanket policy now. Monday morning, 9am, EVERYTHING from the fridge is chucked.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 1:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Dunc

      Monday am makes ZERO sense. Everyone’s Monday lunch will be thrown out.

      EOD Friday is the EVERYTHING gets chucked deadline.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 4:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   poopypants

      No, Monday morning is the perfect time. It’s a trick by management to harness their workers’ rage into productivity. The burning yearning for murder will only fuel you as you type harder, faster, getting everything done in half the time!

      Or you may resort to cannibalism. I’m not saying which one is true of me, but nobody go looking for Chad in accounting.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 6:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Hyacinth

      Friday afternoon only works if someone takes the smelly trash out of the building at the end of the day. Otherwise, Monday morning will be a different set of issues. (Our trash is emptied in the morning.)

      Mar 4, 2015 at 2:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Jami

      It being an office setting I would think they’d have a janitorial service and they’d be there Friday night after everyone else is gone. So unless the janitors are super lazy like some of the ones we’ve had in the past the garbage would be emptied that night.

      Mar 7, 2015 at 2:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   mendel

    Complete with smiley. I see Geoff pays attention to detail.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 1:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   magicdomino

      It would be better in Comic Sans, though.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 2:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   The Elf

      And pink glitter. On Geoff, not the note. Geoff would be far more disturbing decked out in glitter.

      Mar 4, 2015 at 7:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   Lita bang

      Might keep anyone from throwing out his lunch again if he was.

      Mar 4, 2015 at 4:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Pants Go Brown

    Geoff’s lunch was fucking delicious.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 1:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Kasaba

      So, you took Geoff’s lunch out of the garbage and ate it?

      Mar 4, 2015 at 1:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Roxy Random

    Maybe whoever threw it out saw a bug on it. That’s the only legitimate excuse for doing something like that. If it’s been in the same spot for over a week, it’s a pretty safe assumption that it’s been abandoned, and can be safely tossed.
    This, however, does not apply to fabric lunch bags, which can be reused day in and day out.

    Just don’t touch any food that you know isn’t yours. That’s all there is to it. I think Geoff might have been a little over-dramatic about it, but he had the right idea. Let them know this lunch has an owner who does not appreciate its being stolen. Threats are probably not necessary, but if it worked, hey, more power to him.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 5:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Lita bang

    Props to Geoff. I wouldn’t mess with a guy who looked like that. His face says “Just try it, and I’ll have YOU for lunch.”

    I like him.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 8:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   The Elf

      Yeah, he’s got that whole “Temple of Doom” look on his face. Kali ma!

      Mar 4, 2015 at 7:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   The Beast Among Us

      He looks like he’s trying to be scary. The thing is, you’re either scary, or you’re not. Geoff looks a bit sinister, but certainly not scary.

      Mar 4, 2015 at 12:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Poltergeist

    If Geoff’s ears were pointier, he’d be a dead ringer for Nosferatu.

    Mar 3, 2015 at 11:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Poltergeist

      No no wait, he looks like Voldemort with a regenerated nose.

      Mar 3, 2015 at 11:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Jami

      Wouldn’t that make Moldy-Voldy’s nose a Time Lord?

      Mar 4, 2015 at 10:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   cookie bang

    some ones very protective over their foood

    Mar 4, 2015 at 5:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      Sounds like some one has reason to be.

      Mar 4, 2015 at 7:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Raichu

      …are you not protective of your food, Cookie?

      Mar 7, 2015 at 7:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   SparkyRell

    Seeing that photo with that note would make me want to do something… like a sharpie moustache.

    Mar 5, 2015 at 6:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Elf

      He needs a Snidely Whiplash.

      Mar 6, 2015 at 11:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Juniper

    Was it a turkey sandwich with a moist maker in the middle?

    Mar 6, 2015 at 11:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   sam

      Since he says it was still in his lunchbox, I reckon whoever chucked it knew it was his and had a beef with him. Quite a kiwi thing to do, we can be a very passive aggressive nation sometimes, lol

      Mar 11, 2015 at 12:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     

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