Don’t let the fat cat fool you

April 10th, 2015 · 35 comments

Spotted by Tom in Newcastle, UK. I had to look closely at the markings to make sure it wasn’t the same fat cat Sam spotted in London a few years back.

Don't let the fat cat fool you

related: It takes a village to (not) feed a cat!

FILED UNDER: cats · hey fatty · U.K.

35 responses so far ↓

  • #1   havingfitz

    Something is fishy here, and it’s not the cat’s breath. It keeps showing up at my house asking to be fed, and I live in Ohio…

    Apr 10, 2015 at 8:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   e


    Apr 10, 2015 at 8:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   sairentohiru


      Apr 10, 2015 at 2:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Roto13

      Like cats can feel shame.

      Apr 10, 2015 at 5:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   TRT

    Apr 10, 2015 at 9:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   Lil'

    Doesn’t the “manipulative” line take the tone of this note from “stop feeding my cat, you morons!” to “my cat is such a bitch!” Then I look down at her face laying there in the window and I kind of see it.

    Apr 10, 2015 at 12:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   The Beast Among Us

    I’m just trying to fatten her up before I eat her.

    Apr 10, 2015 at 12:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   Poltergeist

    Looks like the owner is projecting and this note is really meant to remind themselves not to give their cat ice cream. I don’t know a single person whose first response when seeing an outdoor cat would be to try to give it ice cream. Cat food, tuna fish, chicken, some other kind of meat maybe, but ice cream? No, the reason your fat cat likes ice cream is because of you.

    Apr 10, 2015 at 3:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Cerys

      Or because there’s a specific neighbour who decides the cat must be sooooo hot in the summer and need cooling down with icecream.

      Apr 11, 2015 at 2:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Kasaba

    I wish it was written in the first person, as it should be.

    Please do not feed me!
    I am obese!
    I am manipulative!
    I am on a diet!
    Ice cream is bad for me!
    I am projecting my own problems onto my cat!

    Apr 10, 2015 at 3:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   FeRD bang

      I am projecting my literary aspirations onto this note!

      (Sorry. Had to bring it #FullCircle.)

      Apr 11, 2015 at 6:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Haterade

      FeRD, my apologies if you’ve already explained before… but I started wondering today, is your nom de guerre actually an abbreviation (maybe something like The Federation of Random Destruction, or Feminist Redheads against Dumbassery?

      Apr 11, 2015 at 9:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   FeRD bang

      @Haterade: Only just spotted this. (One day I’ll turn on email notification for replies. One day, Gadget… one day! #ButNotToday)

      I’m afraid the truth is incredibly embarrassing, on several levels.

      See, my initials are “FRD”, which as a word is basically unpronouncable, so the ‘e’ is just thrown in there as a pronunciation aid. (It also adds a certain symmetry with names like NeXT and BeOS, so there’s a nothing-to-be-proud-of geeky appeal to that.)

      The ‘name’ originated as an online-chat handle at college (lo these almost-20 years ago). It’s migrated somewhat to the real world — there are some who, even in person, know me primarily/only as “FeRD” — but nevertheless remains among those lamest of appellations: A self-chosen nickname. :oops:

      Oh, finally, I should note that since I have a clear prior claim to the name (having adopted it long before he even hit puberty), I have declared an eternal vendetta against my Nemesis, NASA “Mohawk Guy” Bobak Ferdowsi, for not recognizing that I am THE ONE TRUE FeRD!!

      … … …In retrospect I probably just should’ve picked one of your theories, which are far better than the actual truth.

      May 14, 2015 at 1:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   jess

    My cat’s special power is making everyone think he is starving to death.

    Apr 11, 2015 at 1:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Lita bang

      I think that’s a power most cats have. Mine have it too.

      Apr 11, 2015 at 6:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   FeRD bang

      It’s not entirely their fault, though. You know how dog years work? It’s the same for cats, but with meals.

      For every hour your cat’s gone without eating, he or she’s been starving for at LEAST five days. And will surely expire, if not fed IMMEDIATELY. That’s just cat science.

      (This comment written by a cat. Dictated but not read.)

      Apr 11, 2015 at 8:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   Chinchillazilla

      Yup. Mine’s a fourteen-pound lardball, but I have a hell of a time making her lose weight because she can ALWAYS get my mom to feed her.

      Apr 12, 2015 at 11:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   Dany

      My boyfriend has cats. They won’t shut up until you put food in both food bowls they have. Two of then have attempted to steal people food from me.

      Apr 13, 2015 at 4:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   assiveProgressive

    What is it? A walk–up window where you drop off food for the cat? I would be worried about people pushing up my windows, rather than what the cat is doing. I kind of like the idea for myself. A window where people can drop off pizzas and pies and I dont even have to get out of my chair.

    Apr 11, 2015 at 11:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   cecileinparis

    How did the male cat from the first post become a female?

    Apr 11, 2015 at 2:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   The Elf

      Well…. cats. Even the male ones are the drag queens of the animal kingdom. (Thank you, Robin Williams).

      Apr 13, 2015 at 6:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Dave S

      Aren’t all drag queens male by definition? I think you mean “even the female ones.”

      Apr 13, 2015 at 1:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   The Elf

      No, it was in response to how the male cat became a female in the comments. Female cats are females. Male cats are drag queens. So the “she” pronoun works for both.

      Apr 14, 2015 at 7:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Juniper

    People in the UK are pains in the ass about their cats. I live there but I grew up in the USA. And I was entirely used to most cats being indoor cats as it certainly was the norm where I come from. So I moved to the UK and a cat started showing up to the house all the time. Of course I thought it was a stray and it seemed incredibly hungry so we fed it. Long story short – it turns out that most people here let their cats out all the time. And they get really pissy about what happens to their cat while it’s out wandering. ‘Don’t feed my cat! Don’t think my cat is a stray!’ I belong to a FB community group and every day there are several posts about people looking for their their bloody cats – and complaining that maybe someone has taken the cat in mistakenly. And I just want to say, ‘If you’re that freakin’ concerned about your cat – then keep it indoors. And quit acting like your cat has some kind of carte blanche to go anywhere and do anything. ‘

    Apr 14, 2015 at 9:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   assiveProgressive

      It is so different in the USA. I was remarking to a neighbor that I do not see as many feral cats as before, which I thought was because a couple of folks who would feed and shelter them moved away. And the neighbor said the reason is that some guy is shooting them. I did not ask who. There are still farmlands around here, and they do have a right to shoot nuisance animals. But otherwise, it would be illegal. A lot of this cat overpopulation starts with people who come into our area and literally dump their unwanted cats, dogs and even chickens.

      Apr 14, 2015 at 10:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Jami

      That explains why most cats stealing peoples’ underwear stories seem to all take place in the UK.

      Apr 17, 2015 at 8:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   applebed

      Houses in the UK are mich smaller than in the US. It is much more difficult to keep a cat indoors and allow it freedom to behave naturally in a small house.

      Apr 26, 2015 at 4:34 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Kasaba

    Juniper, I’ve never come across people here who are “pains in the ass about their cats”. That said, I’ve crossed paths with more urban foxes than cats in the last 8 years. Most recently last week, when I walked home from the station after a gig, with one just two steps in front of me. Just me and a local fox, walkin’ home, jumping garden fences as you do. Maybe the foxes eat the cats where I live? Or The Beast is a fox? I haven’t seen a cat on this street for months now come to think of it.

    Anyway, my friends have a cat from their neighbourhood that comes round their place all the time. They allow it to come in and laze around, but they don’t feed it. You can see it is well fed and they don’t give in to its cheeky pleas for food. If it’s hungry, it’ll go home or elsewhere.

    Apr 14, 2015 at 1:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Mags

      Yes, foxes eat cats.

      Apr 15, 2015 at 11:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Juniper

      Hmmm… my area obviously needs more foxes.

      Apr 16, 2015 at 5:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   The Beast Among Us

      I’ve been told I’m foxy, and although I am a canid, I’m not of any genus that is ever considered a fox. I’m just too damned big.

      I gladly eat foxes. Take that how you want.

      Apr 16, 2015 at 11:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   pooham

      Beast, perhaps the list of things you don’t eat would be shorter?

      Apr 16, 2015 at 12:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.5   The Beast Among Us


      Apr 20, 2015 at 1:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   labdude

    My brother’s cat and dog had good thing going years ago. My brother, who never let his animals miss a meal, would leave them outside for the day, and the two pets would canvass the neighborhood together, sitting outside the various doors until the neighbors, overwhelmed by the sheer cuteness of them begging together would feed them. It was like a scene from some damn Disney movie where the animals would be voiced by Dudley Moore and Julie Andrews.
    (Both animals led good long lives and are long deceased – the cat reaching 18 years before succumbing to feline diabetes, the dog going 15 years).

    Apr 15, 2015 at 3:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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