Writes our submitter in Iowa: “This anonymous note from our “disappointed neighbors” was taped to an iron bench in front of our house – on Earth Day, no less!”
related: Take that, Homeowners Association!
FILED UNDER: neighbors · there goes the neighborhood
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190 responses so far ↓
#1
crymeariver
What a jerk, jeez can’t you help with the drought already and keep your lawn green?!
Apr 29, 2015 at 7:39 am rating: 90
#2
FeRD
#thereifixedit
Apr 29, 2015 at 7:56 am rating: 90
#3
Jami
Step One: Kill off entire lawn.
Step Two: Dig it up and fertilize, preferably with something that’ll stink for a few days.
Step Three: Replace all the grass with native drought resistant wildflowers.
Step Four: Wait for neighbors to freak out that you have a lawn made of “weeds.”
It’s something I’d like to do someday. No lawn. Just one giant wild flower garden.
Apr 29, 2015 at 8:21 am rating: 92
#4
Eohippus
I actually prefer a few dandelions on a lawn. It shows me the owner isn’t a control freak. If they’re that nuts about their lawn then chances are they’ll freak out over other little things as a neighbor.
Apr 29, 2015 at 8:58 am rating: 90
#5
however
Perhaps it’s not a lawn. Perhaps the homeowner has a dandelion field and is quite happy with it.
What is a weed to some may be a flower to others.
Apr 29, 2015 at 9:18 am rating: 90
#6
Lil'
Dandelions?? Oh please… my old next door neighbor kept his backyard grass so high, you literally couldn’t see his Labrador walking around out back. You would just hear the grass rustling and his breathy sounds – he was an old dog on his last leg…poor thing couldn’t even bark or see well anymore. It was like Jurassic Park or something. His grass grew to the top of his chain link fence before he sold the house and moved away. After that, the next owners abandoned it a couple of years in and the bank let it overgrow again for a year and a half. Dandelions…
Apr 29, 2015 at 9:29 am rating: 90
#7
CF
After seeing just the title, I am so disappointed that this was not a note about someone’s hair being everywhere.
Apr 29, 2015 at 9:32 am rating: 90
#8
Belaani
Biodiversity is normal and healthy. Spotless, weedless, velvety lawns are achieved with pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, and it sounds like this may come to homicide. I would make some giant, whimsical, dandelion lawn ornaments to keep the little real guys company. Yellow is such a cheerful color!
Apr 29, 2015 at 10:35 am rating: 92
#9
dwasifar
Okay, I’m going to be the jerk here, and express a little bit of sympathy for the note writer. Letting your lawn go completely to dandelions is like sending your kid to school unvaccinated. That kind of lawn is a dandelion contagion center, spreading them all over the neighborhood with every gust of wind.
Leaving a semi-anonymous note like that is bad form, but being irritated at a neighbor’s dandelion farm is at least somewhat justified.
Apr 29, 2015 at 10:39 am rating: 90
#10
Barb
The grass is always greener ……..
Apr 29, 2015 at 10:47 am rating: 90
#11
Kwyjor
If this came with a nice gift certificate for the local lawn care providers, or even an offer for free weeding, then it might be forgivable. But otherwise, there are a number of things that might conceivably come ahead of “lawn care priorities”. Holy crap.
Now I want to know what’s written in red marker on the rest of the note. (I thought about going for a tasteless joke about blood here, but it seems inappropriate.)
Apr 29, 2015 at 11:16 am rating: 91
#12
nelaina
And this is precisely why I went rural
Apr 29, 2015 at 11:35 am rating: 91
#13
Heather
We got a bearded dragon recently and he loves dandelions! He loves them so much, we have run out! Can I come over?
Apr 29, 2015 at 11:38 am rating: 90
#14
markbark
Dear deeply disturbed neighbors,
You are free to lick the accumulated sweat from my left testicle at any time of your choosing. My lawn is currently providing vast amounts of food for our rapidly dwindling supply of honeybees
Signed,
The Dandelion Guy
Apr 29, 2015 at 12:17 pm rating: 91
#15
angrykat
Dear Neighbours:
I apologise deeply for my lack of lawn maintenance. Sometimes I let things like
a full time job ,an hour commute and other commitments that get in the way of weeding. On my weekends. I like to relax and chill. Be happy I mow the lawn. But just for you and your property values, I will plant some pretty pretty flowers. I will use the broken toilette I removed from the basement washroom as a centre piece lawn planter. Nothing says I care about property values like a toilette on the front lawn.
love, your neighbour.
Ps: I guess no dandelion soup for you.
Apr 29, 2015 at 12:39 pm rating: 90
#16
S Carter
Where I am from a lawn like that would get you a ticket from the city. I would have written the same, with different words.
Apr 29, 2015 at 12:46 pm rating: 90
#17
RedDelicious
This is the reason HOAs exist. Rules that everyone has to follow benefit everyone, and the neighborhood doesn’t devolve into shitty looking homes that no one takes care of. If you don’t give a shit about property value, go live in a trailer. Otherwise, be a big boy and take care of your property like all the other adults do. If you can’t get into maintaining your lawn, hire someone or move into a community that does it for you. Problem solved. Stop being whiny children.
Apr 29, 2015 at 3:09 pm rating: 90
#18
Pants Go Brown
Those dandelions are fucking delicious.
Apr 29, 2015 at 3:11 pm rating: 90
#19
corviddreams
I have a yard full of dandelions. I feed them to my chickens and tortoise. They are not weeds, they are a crop. I purposely planted them.
Apr 29, 2015 at 3:17 pm rating: 91
#20
Kjeri
They should remove the dandelions right away and replace them with creeping charlie and catnip.
Apr 29, 2015 at 3:49 pm rating: 90
#21
Sir Puke
Dandelion haters, get a grip.
If your property values fall because of a few danelions, well your place is crap to begin with.
It’s their property, they will live as they see fit. If there isn’t a legal problem here, go eff yourself.
Apr 29, 2015 at 4:29 pm rating: 91
#22
El Vee
Dear Neighborhood,
I like dandelions. Get bent.
Apr 29, 2015 at 4:32 pm rating: 90
#23
megsbert
The city i live in only cares if the grass is 6 inches Or taller. Its city ordinance. My little patch of front yard (10×10) Is always covered in the yellow flowers…I mow they come back. Due to the birds squirrels and rabbits that live under my porch and trees….I leave them and do not use anything. People dont like it they are more than welcomed to come dig up the weeds.
Apr 29, 2015 at 8:08 pm rating: 90
#24
L
This guy should have seen the tree in my flower garden!
(It may actually have been a tree branch that transplanted itself… or just a really BIG weed. Like two inch thick trunk/stem big.)
Apr 29, 2015 at 9:42 pm rating: 90
#25
AP
They should wait until the dandelions go to fluff, and then make lots of wishes on the neighbor’s lawns.
Make them spread all through the neighborhood.
Apr 30, 2015 at 12:05 am rating: 90
#26
Roxy Random
I’m still reeling over “obscene” in the same sentence with “dandelions.” What, are they planted in the shape of a dick?
Apr 30, 2015 at 6:50 am rating: 90
#27
Barbara Parker
This from the website mydandelionisaflower.org:
DID YOU KNOW?
Here are some interesting facts about the dandelion flower:
The dandelion is the only flower that represents the 3 celestial bodies of the sun, moon and stars. The yellow flower resembles the sun, the puff ball resembles the moon and the dispersing seeds resemble the stars.
The dandelion flower opens to greet the morning and closes in the evening to go to sleep.
Every part of the dandelion is useful: root, leaves, flower. It can be used for food, medicine and dye for coloring.
Up until the 1800s people would pull grass out of their lawns to make room for dandelions and other useful “weeds” like chickweed, malva, and chamomile.
The average American recognizes thousands of logos for commercial products, yet recognizes fewer than five plants that grow in his/her area. Dandelions are most likely one of those familiar plants.
The name dandelion is taken from the French word “dent de lion” meaning lion’s tooth, referring to the coarsely-toothed leaves.
Dandelions have one of the longest flowering seasons of any plant.
Seeds are often carried as many as 5 miles from their origin!
A not so fun fact: Every year Americans spend millions on lawn pesticides to have uniform lawns of non-native grasses, and we use 30% of the country’s water supply to keep them green.
For a more informative and detailed look please see the dandelion wikipedia article.
Apr 30, 2015 at 8:14 am rating: 91
#28
Sassy
I think I would carefully trim paths through the dandelions, turning into a kind of short yellow hedge maze. Maybe stick a bird bath in the middle. No one could claim I wasn’t tending my yard then….
Apr 30, 2015 at 9:25 am rating: 90
#29
Never known as The Kid
Just get out the 2 – 4 – D. Problem solved.
Apr 30, 2015 at 3:17 pm rating: 90
#30
Lita
Sigh.
Now I’m almost ashamed to live in Iowa.
Apr 30, 2015 at 4:27 pm rating: 90
#31
j-as
Dear deeply disappointed neighbors –
Hi! Welcome to reality! Where flowers aren’t a problem!
Also, dandilions provide food for bees. You know, those fellas who are dying off in droves because of our pesticides and development and threatening our very potential to be able to grow food outside of a laboratory? Those guys, bzz bzz bzz??
It’s very disappointing that you don’t care about food supply more than you care about temporary aesthetics. I suggest you become introduced to reality, and go from there.
Sincerely,
Your much smarter, more disappointed neighbor
Apr 30, 2015 at 4:43 pm rating: 91
#32
Jami
All of this dandelion talk reminds of a fairy tale I read in a doctor’s office once, but can’t remember the title of.
In the story there’s these fairies who are particular to dandelions and they’re always having trouble because cows keep wanting to eat their homes. And if they try to move into human gardens, the humans pull up the dandelions.
There’s also a little princess who’s very, very sick and one day a dandelion fairy floats in through her window and asks why she’s in bed on such a beautiful day. When the princess replies she’s too sick to go out of her room the fairy basically says that’s the stupidest thing she’s ever heard of. After a long talk about illness, the power of being outside in the sunshine and fresh air, and the problems the dandelion fairies are having, the princess starts going outside for a little bit every day.
She gets stronger and healthier and finally can start running around like healthy children and the king, grateful that his daughter is going to live, not die, insists that from then on the gardeners allow dandelions to grow in the royal gardens unmolested so the fairies don’t have to worry about cows anymore.
Apr 30, 2015 at 4:50 pm rating: 90
#33
GB
I wouldn’t be happy if my neighbors had a dandelion field in their yard either (I wouldn’t care enough to say anything, but it would be annoying). Actually, we do have one a few houses down, and the neighbors on either side of them have to work harder to keep their yards at least somewhat clear. We have a service that comes 4-6 times a year to treat the lawn (not an expensive service, just a regular low end one). We sometimes go a couple years without the service, and then when we notice some weeds popping up, we start it again for a couple years. Other than that, we do nothing. My son mows once a week. I suppose if I am out at the mailbox and notice that there is a weed that has come from the neighbors, I will pull it while I’m there (the mailbox is at the property line ). But we don’t obsess in the slightest. And our yard is beautiful. So just because someone has a nice lawn, doesn’t mean that they no lives, or are control freaks, or all the other things being said here. And it isn’t just so that _we_ can have a nice lawn, it is so that our neighbors don’t have to deal with looking at a crappy one.
May 1, 2015 at 10:30 am rating: 90
#34
IDM Latest
Your community is going to thanks for this act! You have to do some more things like that for the betterment of community!
May 1, 2015 at 2:38 pm rating: 90
#35
Paula K
I would be tempted to cut out a plywood hand flipping a giant bird & affix it to the top of my roof.
May 1, 2015 at 8:05 pm rating: 90
#36
The Elf
They wouldn’t have to worry about their lawns if only they kept their cats outdoors.
May 2, 2015 at 3:52 pm rating: 90
#37
Poltergeist
Explain to me again why it is that dandelions are considered bad considering they are, at worst, harmless to most people and, at best, useful due to their edibility? Oh, that’s right, somebody decided that yellow and green clashed, and now every douchebag with a lawnmower has decided to jump on the bandwagon so that they could hold their perfectly maintained lawns over their inferior neighbors’ heads.
FYI suburban lawn Nazis, a whole field of nothing but fucking dandelions would be less harmful to the health of people and the environment than your patch of pristine, chemically treated grass leeching toxins into the water table.
And by the way everybody, I have just decided that I hate all flowering plants. You must remove them from your property because I consider them to be weeds.
May 2, 2015 at 6:04 pm rating: 91
#38
SparkyRell
Geez, some people are a bit nuts about their lawns hahaha. The only weeds that I would protest against would be bindiis and paddy melons, because they suck, they don’t have any real point or purpose, they’re assholes of the plant world really, anything else is golden. Some people need to pull the stick out of their arse and relax a bit, it’s only a lawn
May 2, 2015 at 6:29 pm rating: 90
#39
WandaCrampton
Asking questions are in fact pleasant thing if you are not understanding something totally, but this post presents nice understanding yet.
May 3, 2015 at 2:40 am rating: 90
#40
catethulhu
My lawn looks like shit, and I don’t care. I have more important things to care about than what my neighbors think. Also, we’re in California. It’s totally ridiculous that anyone is watering their grass right now. My neighbors are bad neighbors for wasting my family’s drinking and bathing water on their stupid grass, imo.
If you’re going to grow anything, grow plants you can eat. At least that water won’t be wasted. This also has the added bonus of the rest of us not killing and eating your water-wasting ass when we’re fighting over resources a la Mad Max.
Note: that last remark should be regarded as facetiousness for you literal minded peoples.
May 3, 2015 at 6:23 pm rating: 90
#41
rushgirl2112
Without seeing a picture of said yard, I can’t take sides here.
The note writer seems to indicate that this is more than a few dandelions, which he/she would be fine with. That statement right there leads me to believe that this isn’t a screaming lawn fanatic, none of whom would be tolerant of any number of dandelions.
On the other hand, what is more than “a few”? We don’t know. I have seen lawns that are literally filled with dandelions, which are exceedingly ugly after they go to seed. And yes, that is considered an eyesore that could affect a neighbor’s home sale, because curb appeal is a big deal.
I don’t fuss over a few dandelions and never use chemicals of any kind on my yard (I never even water it except in the case of a really bad drought). There is clover, crab grass, and dandelions in it. But even I would not dream of buying a house next to a dandelion field.
So I don’t know. Without a picture, we can’t know whether the note writer is seriously overreacting or might have a point.
May 3, 2015 at 7:49 pm rating: 90
#42
JustPunkin
A weed is simply a misplaced flower.
I spent most of this weekend digging dandelions out of my rocks (i have no idea how they got through the landscaping screen) and in my flower beds. The ones in my yard, well, I mowed them down. They’ll be back today.
I also have clover. And some blue flower that spreads like crazy.
I like weeds. They suppress the grass, and I don’t have to mow as often.
May 4, 2015 at 7:43 am rating: 90
#43
Gareth
Dandelion and burdock fizzy cooldrink. That is all.
May 4, 2015 at 2:46 pm rating: 90
#44
TRT
Round our way that’s called a flower garden. Seriously. The council has one at the edge of the village. Just dandelions.
May 5, 2015 at 4:03 am rating: 90
#45
The Elf
How did a lawn care PAN generate nearly as many comments as an indoor/outdoor cat PAN?
May 5, 2015 at 8:15 am rating: 90
#46
Kjeri
Sorry about the duplication. I wanted to edit the first but the site wouldn’t let me so I told it to delete it and it wouldn’t. >: E
May 5, 2015 at 1:25 pm rating: 90
#47
Rumtopf
I like my lawn. Lots of different grasses, dandelions!!1, clover, tons of moss(seriously walking barefoot on the mossy parts is awesome), daisies, wild pansies, violets, buttercups, cowslip, wild plantain, cornflowers, forget-me-nots, tiny and a bunch of other stuff. It’s nice to sit out there with some coffee and watch the insects and birds enjoying themselves. We also get hedgehogs and foxes visiting at night, as well as bats(also fun to watch in the summer just as it’s getting dark), so yeah I’m down with having a wildlife friendly garden.
May 5, 2015 at 2:31 pm rating: 90
#48
Fritz-the-Cat
The solution to the spreading of dandelions (which they do, no two ways about it) is easy:
Just mow the lawn before they start to seed.
That way, you get pretty flowers and your neighbour doesn’t have to bother with pretty flowers if he/she doesn’t want them.
But I suspect that this is one of those strange, weird American suburb-things (just suspicion, no facts for that) and it’s NOT about the spreading but more about how ‘horrible’ it looks. Like that weird-ass horror American suburbians encounter when they see clothes airdrying on a washing-line.
Sometimes, I’m really effing glad I live in Europe where the land you own is YOURS. You’re not allowed to shoot trespassers, but on the other hand nobody is allowed to tell you how to keep your garden.
May 6, 2015 at 9:53 am rating: 90
#49
Matt Nelson
Suddenly I’m so glad I live in an apartment and don’t have to bother with lawn care. I hate plants. Pave it all.
May 6, 2015 at 11:28 am rating: 90
#50
JoDa
I don’t really enjoy the look of dandelions, but I like being able to use my lawn regularly (i.e., it’s not a hazard zone from chemicals for one week a month), and I don’t want to spend thousands of dollars on maintenance, so I do what most sane people I think do: I pluck the heads off of them when I take the dog out. No seeds that way. It won’t totally eliminate the problem because there are some truly overgrown properties nearby, but it limits the issue a bit. As easy as bending over, and I leave the flower head there in case any local wildlife wants to use it as a snack.
May 8, 2015 at 12:55 pm rating: 90
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May 10, 2015 at 5:35 pm rating: 90
#52
Singe
Dandelions are pretty.
May 11, 2015 at 8:00 pm rating: 90
#53
nature is best!
Dandelions are edible! Stop polluting our lawns, and our water systems! We use to feed our guinea pig pesticide free dandelion leaves from the yard. Dandelion jelly is very tasty too! We need to get back to nature, our roots, and stop being so materialistic and damaging.
May 14, 2015 at 9:09 am rating: 90
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May 26, 2015 at 8:52 am rating: 90
#55
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Jun 12, 2015 at 1:13 am rating: 90
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