Dear Booger-Flicker

May 6th, 2015 · 49 comments

The epidemic continues!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STOP FLICKING YOUR BOOGERS ON THE WALL. Sincerely, Everyone that has to look at those nasty things

related: It’s called “performance art”

FILED UNDER: bathroom · Florida · nose-picking · that's disgusting


49 responses so far ↓

  • #1   e

    Capital FLICKING looks a bit rude at first glance, doesn’t it?

    I sympathise with poster-maker, but I do have to wonder about the use of the pronoun “we”. Has there been a group consultation about how everybody feels about the boogers? Perhaps some people like them. It enlivens an otherwise dull day in the office to take a toilet break and see these gelatinous marvels, quivering there on the wall.

    I’m drunk. FRIST!

    May 6, 2015 at 10:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Jami

      Something that disgusting gets talked about in the office.

      Which means the booger flicker already knows people hate it. Which is probably why they do it more.

      May 6, 2015 at 10:55 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Haterade

      It did… but for some reason, after the second glance I keep seeing it as LICKING. *shudder*

      May 7, 2015 at 4:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   fathima

      Hey its Amazing!!
      I found my school photo,,,,Now It’s your turn..
      http://worldschoolphotographs.net/

      May 7, 2015 at 11:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   FeRD bang

      Hey its opposite-of-Awesome!!
      We found your spam,,,,Now Fuck’s you off..
      aych-tee-tee-pee colon slash slash gosuckalemon dot eff ewe.

      May 13, 2015 at 10:05 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   AP

    Can’t they just flick them into the toilet?

    May 6, 2015 at 10:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Cerys

      Wouldn’t work. They’re marking territory.

      May 7, 2015 at 7:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   The Elf

      Boogers. It’s assholish for “Mine”.

      May 7, 2015 at 7:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Dana

    Just the thought of boogers makes my gag reflex engage.

    May 7, 2015 at 2:57 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      What? The finger goes in your NOSE not your THROAT!

      May 7, 2015 at 7:36 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Dana

      Ha. Others’ snot makes me ill just thinking about it. Always has. I had to wax this guy’s nose when I was in cosmetology school, and this huuuuuge booger came out and hit my arm when I yanked the wax out. I nearly threw up.

      May 11, 2015 at 4:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   The Elf

      Wax…. a nose?

      May 11, 2015 at 12:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   FeRD bang

      Your professor was fucking with you. I refuse to believe that nose[-hair?] waxing is a thing. #NOPE

      They probably even locked that guy in a room with a third-grade class for a week straight just to make SURE he caught a cold and his nose was nice and runny, before they sent him to you.

      May 13, 2015 at 10:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Haterade

      I guess you could market it as a New Age thing, kindofa cross between ear candling and neti pots.

      But can you imagine finding someone willing to listen to the screams of people getting their nose hair ripped out all day? Maybe you could get a former retail coworker who had to deal with one insane customer too many and wants revenge…

      May 13, 2015 at 10:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Dana

      Nose waxing is a legit thing. They’ll wax everything except testicles, and those only because the skin is too delicate and has been known to tear. I’ve waxed backs, legs, arms, toes, eyebrows, chins . . . Never did have to do a Brazilian, fortunately.

      May 19, 2015 at 2:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Belaani

    Hey, B.F. – If I catch you, I cut you!

    May 7, 2015 at 6:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   sara4767 bang

      “Also, I will shoot you in the fucking face”

      May 7, 2015 at 7:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Sara

    “Also, I will shoot you in the fucking face.”

    May 7, 2015 at 7:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      Double tap. Works for booger-flickers too.

      May 7, 2015 at 7:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   TRT

    Bob the Builder,
    Does he pick it?
    Bob the Builder,
    Yes he does!

    Scoops muck and digs it,
    Rolls it up, licks it and flicks it,
    Now it’s stuck.

    Bob and his crows, have so much fun.
    Wiping’s for sissies, just look at his bum.

    May 7, 2015 at 8:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   The Beast Among Us

    What makes the note writer believe the boogers are being flicked and not wiped?

    May 7, 2015 at 9:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Rattus

      Anyone with even the most rudimentary knowledge of splatter patterns garnered from watching police procedurals can tell whether something in liquid, semi-liquid or gel form has been dropped, wiped or flung.

      May 7, 2015 at 2:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   FeRD bang

      Yeah, I dunno. If they have to be scraaaped off the wall with a(n ineffectual!) paint scraper, I have to concur with Beast that they’re most likely being lovingly finger-painted onto the wall.

      (…Either that, or this company’s bathroom walls are, like, corrugated iron or something. Based on the wall we can see behind the photo, that may not be far from the truth! Tile, people — look into it! Nice, smooth, easily-cleaned ceramic tile.)

      May 14, 2015 at 12:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   pooham

    This, as well as not flushing, purposely missing the toilet and the extreme act of smearing feces, signifies a mental disorder. To me at least. I don’t understand behavior like this in the least.

    May 7, 2015 at 11:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Haterade

      I’m not sure how the acts are related (other than being gross)… but I really hope they’re not doing both at the same time.

      May 7, 2015 at 2:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Rattus

      I’m not sure why, but I’m a little disoriented by someone with the word “pooh” in their name being discomfited by faeces.

      May 7, 2015 at 2:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   The Elf

      I’d bet they are, Haterade. After all, if you’re smearing feces, you have definitely missed the toilet.

      May 8, 2015 at 12:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Haterade

      I was actually more worried about nose-picking while CENSORED FOR THE PROTECTION of SMALL CHILDREN, SENSITIVE ADULTS, AND FURRY BARNYARD ANIMALS BY THE NSA.

      YOU’RE WELCOME. AND STOP DOING THAT, WE SEE YOU.

      SIGNAL LOST

      May 8, 2015 at 1:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Kasaba

    Once, while waiting for my parents in the car outside a supermarket, my brother smeared one of his boogers on my cheek. This made me want to retch, so I got out of the car, making the car alarm go off. My dad ended up chastising ME, because a booger on the cheek is apparently no reason to want to puke. My brother laughed.

    And that, my friends, is being the eldest child in a nutshell.

    May 7, 2015 at 11:48 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Iwill FindU

      I would hope that my response as a parent would be something more along the lines “if they ever do it again make sure you vomit on them, and if you cause your sibling to vomit in my car you’re going to be the one cleaning it up because it wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you had just not done (insert stupid kid thing)” natural consequences are always the best ones.

      May 7, 2015 at 12:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Iwill FindU

      I would hope that my response as a parent would be something more along the lines “if they ever do it again make sure you vomit on them, and if you cause your sibling to vomit in my car you’re going to be the one cleaning it up because it wouldn’t have happened in the first place if you had just not done (insert stupid kid thing)” natural consequences are always the best ones.

      May 7, 2015 at 12:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   pooham

      Things that used to not gross me out as a kid or a parent with young kids (like having floaties in your drink from sharing it with your toddler) now make me queasy. Even just hearing talk about some things (like this subject) make me feel ill.

      May 7, 2015 at 12:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Kasaba

      Floaties

      May 7, 2015 at 1:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.5   Raichu

      The problem with that, IWFU, is that then it wouldn’t be the oldest’s fault.

      May 19, 2015 at 4:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Pants Go Brown

    The writer sure knows a lot about how dry the boogers become and what process is attempted to remove them — paint scraper. Makes me think the author is also the scraper. If they are so hard to remove, I suggest some chemical analysis take place to make sure these are in fact garden variety boogers and not something more nefarious.

    May 7, 2015 at 1:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Haterade

      Next up on BSI…

      May 7, 2015 at 2:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Never known as The Kid

    Some people consider boogers ‘fucking delicious.’

    Just sayin’.

    May 7, 2015 at 1:08 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   juniper

      I didn’t know my face could contort into the grimace it did before I read that.

      May 7, 2015 at 2:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Haterade

      This is Rob Robertson, reporting live from SeaWorld where tragedy struck today during the 1,918th recorded attempt to jump over the “fucking delicious” shark. The jumper managed to execute a beautiful Yurchenko with a double-twist… but didn’t maintain forward velocity, and ended up sailing straight into the waiting shark’s mouth.

      On the bright side, though, it did earn a 9.5 from the Romanian judge. Back to you, Kate.

      May 7, 2015 at 3:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Lita bang

    Firebomb the place. It’s the only way to be certain.

    Of course, then you’ll probably come back and find boogers flicked all over the wreckage…

    May 7, 2015 at 2:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   Dane Zeller

    University of Rutgers Chiropractic Research Journal, 1989, “Time and Motion Study of Disposal of Nasal Substances in Natural Receptacle” Doctor Heimlick and Doctor Flick.

    Abstract: A comparison of the time it takes to deposit a nasal substance on the wall of a bathroom versus retrieving a block of toilet tissue from the roll, wiping the substance on the tissue, and throwing the tissue into the toilet: Wall: one second (without rolling). Tissue: three seconds (moderate rolling).

    I rest my case.

    May 7, 2015 at 4:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Poltergeist

    You people are obviously not visionaries. This individual is clearly trying to create a community art piece a la the bubblegum alley in California. Please contribute.

    May 7, 2015 at 8:21 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Emmy

    I worked at a hotel some years ago and saw many nasty nasty things whilst cleaning the rooms… but the one that still makes my stomach clench is the one an old man had stayed in. Now, you may be expecting poo or other bodily fluids, which I have encountered numerous times – this one took the cake. He’d COVERED the lampshade in boogers. Like, sat in his bed for three nights and excavated, depositing them on the lampshade for my sorry ass to find after he’d left.

    You’d think – oh, just throw it out, replace it! My company was so cheap I had to shampoo a bed after a trucker peed in it repeatedly. So no, I got to take that shade off, and scrub the boogers off with a toothbrush in the sink. Just typing it makes me queasy!

    May 8, 2015 at 11:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   pooham

      Eeeeeeewwwwww!
      I may have to stop checking the comments on this note.

      May 8, 2015 at 12:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   rushgirl2112

    A few months ago, I started noticing these pink globs here and there on the walls at home. Finally I figured out what it was – denture cream. My husband had lost his teeth due to grinding from a prescription med. Whenever he had a stray glob of denture cream in his mouth, he would flick it.

    He hasn’t stopped, saying that they just pop right off (which admittedly is true). A couple of days ago, I discovered a blob on the windshield in my car. I’m not as upset about it as you might think. I’m kind of amused most of the time, to be honest.

    I don’t think I’d feel the same way about boogers, though.

    May 10, 2015 at 5:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Kelly

    We have people who do this at my work. The company spent a good deal of money cleaning and repainting the bathrooms as a result. Few months later and it’s booger city up in there all over again.

    One, I don’t understand the behavior. I can’t say I’ve never picked my nose. Hell, this is anonymous so I’ll even admit I’ve picked it tons of times. But always always always put them in a tissue.

    Two, (despite what I just wrote above) I’m pretty sensitive to gross shit. Have nearly lost much lunch many times walking into the bathroom and unexpectedly finding a new glob of snot on the wall. If I could hold it all day, I’d never use the bathroom at work ever again.

    If it weren’t illegal and weird to videotape people in the restroom, I’d setup hidden cameras to catch the booger offender(s) in the act, then set their car(s) on fire and do other terrible things. I’d even go so far as to say these sick idiots deserve to have their nostrils stapled shut.

    May 13, 2015 at 1:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Raichu

    1. Fucking disgusting. If you are not over the age of 4 you shouldn’t be working in an office (or anywhere).

    2. It annoys me that the biggest problem they had with the cleaning people having to clean it was their ineffectiveness, not the fact that you just made a probably very poorly paid person scrape boogers off the wall.

    3. I don’t know whether it’s more amusing or sad that PAN has a tag for nose-picking.

    May 19, 2015 at 4:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up