Meanwhile, in America’s Dairyland

May 19th, 2015 · 51 comments

Writes Libby in Green Bay, Wisconsin: “In my office, about 100 people share one communal fridge. One person has been bringing a gallon of milk for months and completely ignoring how much room it takes up.  Apparently, someone had had enough of their inconsiderate nonsense.”

After all, the considerate Wisconsinite would just hitch his dairy

cow up in the breakroom like everyone else.

Why don't you just bring in a cow?!?!

UPDATE: The office dairy lover responds!

Meanwhile, in America's Dairyland

related: Spoiled Milk

FILED UNDER: milk · office fridge


51 responses so far ↓

  • #1   wright1

    Lactose intolerance taken to the next level.

    May 19, 2015 at 5:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Lita bang

    Perhaps because this notewriter already HAD a cow?

    May 19, 2015 at 8:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   The Elf

    Was it on the milk jug? I hope so.

    May 20, 2015 at 7:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   The Elf

    Was it on the milk jug? I hope so.

    May 20, 2015 at 7:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   The Elf

    I don’t normally approve of the PAN workplace note, but this one had me laughing. The way it was just dashed off on a post-it, the biting sarcasm, all points to weeks, maybe even months, of attempting to fit a lunch bag into the crowded fridge and staring hate at the gallon jug. Then one day, it all came to a head and Midwest nice flew out the window.

    Bring in a tupperware of milk like everyone else, buddy.

    May 20, 2015 at 7:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   Amy in Toronto

    In my office, we share a tiny communal bar-fridge in the kitchenette. I buy cream for my coffee and write my name on the cap and leave it on the door shelf. Invariably, the carton is always done by the week’s end and I don’t use but a couple tablespoons for each cup of coffee (and I max at 2/day). I don’t mind others using my creamer, but I’d really like it if they ask first and then offer to replace the carton every once in a while. It’s getting expensive. I’m thinking of pouring all the cream into my opaque water bottle and leaving THAT in the fridge, so the creamer thieves leave it alone.

    Or maybe instead of my name on the cap, I write something PA.. and appropriately shaming? :)

    May 20, 2015 at 9:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   The Beast Among Us

      How about, “Get your dirty paws off my jug, you filthy animal!”

      May 20, 2015 at 9:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Rachel

      Leave the cream in your waterbottle and the water in the carton for a week. That might do it.

      May 20, 2015 at 11:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   kermit

      Cream stealers are the worst.

      I don’t like the plastic-y taste that the milk can develop when you keep it in the plastic milk jug.

      My work solution is to keep it in a stainless steel thermos, so that it really does stay cold throughout the day, no matter what the menopausal work fridge does. At home it stays in an old timey ceramic milk pitcher my mom got from a garage sale.

      May 20, 2015 at 2:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   jackie

      How bout a sign on the carton that says “FYI, for medical reasons this creamer contains progesterone hormones.”

      May 22, 2015 at 12:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   bodynsoil

      Or, write breast milk on the container..

      May 26, 2015 at 11:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   The Beast Among Us

      I’d still drink that.

      May 26, 2015 at 11:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.7   The Beast Among Us

      Of course, I’d rather enjoy it from the source, but I don’t mind it cold.

      I’m a freak.

      May 26, 2015 at 11:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.8   Raichu

      You could always suggest at a meeting that you guys pitch in for creamer, since you know you can’t use it all in a week.

      Some of the people taking it probably assume it’s communal and don’t realize it’s yours.

      May 26, 2015 at 11:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Dane Zeller

    I attribute these notes to the dreary lives of office workers whose excitement in their lonely cubicles is limited to passing moments of righteous outrage.

    Think of the enormous pleasure they get during the winter when someone leaves an extra sweater on the coat tree, denying them of the their rightful space to hang their parka. I can hear the eyes roll now.

    May 20, 2015 at 11:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Belaani

      A well-placed pin hole in the bottom (of the jug) might liven things up.

      May 20, 2015 at 1:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Jami

    There’s four people in our house. Unless we’re doing a lot of baking we barely go through a half gallon of milk before the expiration.

    I realize everyone is different and maybe this person is making protein shakes for every meal, but who goes through a whole gallon of milk by themselves?!

    May 20, 2015 at 12:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Beast Among Us

      I can’t stand milk. My brother, however, drinks a gallon in three days. He loves the stuff.

      May 20, 2015 at 2:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   jeff

      Wisconsin, that’s who. I live in Wisco and drink plenty of milk and eat plenty of cheese. It’s a lifestyle choice…. Not overweight, feel like I need to add that. haha.

      May 20, 2015 at 4:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   L

      My mom can. She just likes milk a lot *shrugs*

      May 20, 2015 at 4:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Jami

      See, unless it’s chocolate milk, I can’t imagine drinking that much milk.

      May 21, 2015 at 12:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Alexander

      I’m not from Wisconsin, but I do drink a *lot* of milk and can easily go through a gallon of milk in 3-4 days by myself. But I don’t bring it to work by the gallon because that’s just silly.

      May 21, 2015 at 5:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   L

      Jami – she likes chocolate milk best, actually, but it’s just one of those people are weird things. With me, I get REALLY full on milk/dairy. It’s weird.

      BUT you know what I had last night? Banana milk. Sounds disgusting, but it tasted somewhere between banana popsicles which I used to love and can’t find where I live now, and banana penicillin which every child knows tastes delicious.

      May 21, 2015 at 7:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   The Beast Among Us

      I’ve had banana milk before. It’s nasty. Bananas are delicious, but banana flavoring is terrible. To me, it has a chalky taste.

      May 22, 2015 at 11:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Jami

      People think this is weird but I love soy milk. I think it’s cause I had to be fed soy formula as a baby instead of being breastfed.

      I also love tofu.

      I could never be a vegitarian, mind you, but unless it has something in it I’m allergic to like bell peppers, it’s hard for me to turn down a tofu dish.

      May 22, 2015 at 12:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   L

      Banana flavouring comes from a banana breed that isn’t around anymore, basically.

      It may vary by brand, but man. I liked the banana milk XD

      May 22, 2015 at 4:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   Juniper

      I can sometimes find the thought of drinking milk quite repulsive now. I used to drink it and have it in cereal regularly. I have no idea why it changed.

      May 23, 2015 at 7:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   L

      You know what changed for me? Lactose intolerance.

      TELL ME I CAN’T HAVE DAIRY, WILL YOU? WELL NOW I HATE YOU AND ALSO I WANT ALL THE DAIRY.

      May 26, 2015 at 3:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   Raichu

      I eat cereal almost daily and I still have to buy half-gallons because I can’t go through a gallon without spoilage.

      How someone goes through a gallon *at work* on their own is a mystery.

      May 26, 2015 at 11:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.13   Charlotte

      I live by myself and buy a 4-pint bottle of milk (in the UK, so about 0.6 of a US gallon apparently? I never realised our pints are slightly bigger than yours) and that lasts me about 3-4 days.

      In my case it’s because I had to have 3 out of 4 of the parathyroid glands that are involved in calcium uptake removed because of cancer.

      Although I take Vitamin D to help my calcium uptake, I still find I need to have either cereal or a milky coffee at breakfast, and then a cup of milk before bedtime in order to prevent becoming overly sensitive to pins-and-needles or, in really bad cases, my hands from starting to twitch.

      I could calcium tablets instead (and have some in case I can’t get a glass of milk easily) but calcium tablets are horrible. I also don’t like Cheese or yogurt so those are out as well.

      Jul 9, 2015 at 5:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Nony

    Drinking warm (and unpasteurized) milk while trying to do productive work is a fantastic idea!

    May 20, 2015 at 1:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Brian H

    As a boss I’d just get rid of the fridge and board up the kitchen area. Any business that has those things is asking for the inevitable drama that comes with it.

    May 20, 2015 at 2:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Jami

      And again, you’d get sued for creating a hostile work environment.

      May 20, 2015 at 8:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Belaani

      Shared kitchens and shared bathrooms = inevitable conflict.

      May 21, 2015 at 6:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   The Elf

      Especially when lactose intolerance is involved, Belaani.

      May 21, 2015 at 10:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Lita bang

      It’s a pretty shitty conflict.

      May 21, 2015 at 5:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   The Beast Among Us

      That was a cheesy pun.

      May 22, 2015 at 11:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.6   Lita bang

      It Swiss what it Swiss, Beast, any way you slice it.

      May 24, 2015 at 9:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.7   Belaani

      That’s it. I’m throne in the towel.

      May 25, 2015 at 10:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.8   Nahhh bang

      I’m lactose intolerant, but there’s this tiny, chalky tablet called “Lactaid,” also available in a generic store-brand usually called “Dairy Digestive Aid.” Now that you know, enjoy your ice cream and pizza and chocolate milk, and suck directly from cows’ udders if you like that, too.

      May 27, 2015 at 4:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Krithika

    Hey its Amazing!!
    I found my school photo,,,,Now It’s your turn..
    http://tinyurl.com/mskvrtp

    May 21, 2015 at 11:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   SilentPsycho

    The more I read about other workplaces, the more thankful I am that my workplaces are relatively sane. I don’t drink tea or coffee, but in one workplace everyone places some change in a jar whenever they use supplies like tea or milk, and new stuff is bought from that, and in the other management supplies fresh tea/coffee/milk whenever supplies run out. Cuts down on stuff like this a bit.

    May 22, 2015 at 10:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   juniper

      I’ve seen that before – it causes it’s own problems as there are always those that never contribute. I’m afraid there really isn’t much to do to entirely avoid the assholes of the world in the workplace.

      May 24, 2015 at 10:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   The Beast Among Us

      Yes there is! It’s called self-employment.

      May 26, 2015 at 11:56 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   JesusLostToCthulhu

    That milk was f%@*&ing delicious!

    May 26, 2015 at 11:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Raichu

      Not after sitting in the fridge for two weeks it wasn’t!

      May 26, 2015 at 11:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   The Elf

      That homemade yogurt was fucking nasty!

      May 27, 2015 at 10:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Cami

    This goes along with dieters, reformed smokers, sugar free, wheat free, vegans…Look just because you can’t, won’t or just don’t want to partake in dairy products, eat junk, smoke, drink etc this is America…we can all do, eat ,drink whatever we want.

    Jun 11, 2015 at 5:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   assiveProgressive

    ha ha love the cow!

    Jun 13, 2015 at 11:06 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   PixieWitch

    a better response would have been: “I would, but your mother is busy”

    Jun 17, 2015 at 10:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   bigoldgeek

    No one is going to mention the big jug of Caesar Dressing, arguably much less useful per unit of volume than milk?

    Jan 5, 2016 at 1:22 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up