It’s opposite day in Cincinnati!

May 26th, 2015 · 85 comments

Chris in Cincinnati says this came in the mail with no return address.

The butterfly sticker is a nice touch, no?

Isn't it nice the Garbage men come and take you'r [sic] garbage away, then leave you with the EMPTY cans so that you may put them away.

related: Welcome to the neighborhood. You’re totally screwing it up.

 

FILED UNDER: Cincinnati · garbage · neighbors · unnecessary "quotation marks"


85 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jami

    My idiot next door neighbors – the ones who deliver not so stubble death threats – like to leave their trash cans on the curb 24/7. They’re suppose to be back behind the gate within 24 hours of trash pick up. But they’re too lazy to do that.

    So of course I reported them to code enforcement.

    Totally on letter writer’s side. Put your razzen-frazzen cans away!

    May 26, 2015 at 9:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Michelle

      Wow who cares?

      May 26, 2015 at 10:04 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Stacey

      You do realize that calling code enforcement is a passive-aggressive move, right? Plus, it really pisses off code enforcement officers when they have to come out to a neighborhood to tell someone to put their trash cans behind their fences when you are too cowardly to have a polite conversation with your neighbors. People like you make living in certain neighborhoods nerve-wracking. I suggest you take up a useful, time-consuming hobby, such as knitting, instead of working yourself into a tizzy about what is sitting out on the curb of your neighbor’s house.

      May 26, 2015 at 10:18 pm   rating: 92  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.3   Raichu

      Damn, way to be over-the-top, Stacey. :/

      Though talking to them first would have been nice, it is NOT out of line to report a code violation.

      May 26, 2015 at 11:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.4   Poltergeist ruins the comment section

      *subtle
      *supposed

      I’m very surprised to see the correct “too” used.

      May 27, 2015 at 2:03 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.5   LittleBirdy

      You know, if my neighbors had a history of sending death threats, I wouldn’t be too eager to talk to them about moving their trash cans either.

      May 27, 2015 at 7:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.6   Christine

      My legs sent me some stubble death threats this past winter when I was not into the whole leg-shaving thing. Yeah. It was bad.

      May 27, 2015 at 8:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.7   The Elf

      I’m no fan of either the PAN or the PA code violation calling, but did you miss the part of Jami’s post about DEATH THREATS.

      Yeah, give your neighbors a chance to do right and all that, but when they’ve proven themselves to be psycho, then your choices drop down to either live with it or call the authorities.

      May 27, 2015 at 10:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.8   kermit

      Fair enough, but the city code enforcement people aren’t responsible for dealing with death threats.

      Priorities, people. If your neighbor is sending you death threats, that might just be a tad more important to report to police than what he/she does with their empty trash cans.

      May 27, 2015 at 11:10 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.9   Jami

      Stacy, these people have made it clear that they “can kill someone and no one seeing it coming because the army trained them how.” Why the hell would I talk to them first?

      And our CE are tiny little dictators who enjoy telling others what to do. Why not use their evil on the side of good?

      May 27, 2015 at 12:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.10   Dave S

      “Plus, it really pisses off code enforcement officers when they have to come out to a neighborhood to tell someone to put their trash cans behind their fences…”

      Well we wouldn’t want to piss them off by asking them to do the job they are being paid to do!

      Jami, what were you thinking? Next you’ll expect the police to enforce laws, and the fire department to put out fires. They’ve got better things to do!

      May 27, 2015 at 1:42 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.11   Poltergeist

      Normally I wouldn’t support being a nosy busybody over freaking trash cans, but to be fair, Jami’s neighbors sound like complete nutcases with the way she has described their behavior in the past. I’d probably be too scared that they’d blow my brains out, but I’m going to applaud Jami for having the guts to sic code enforcement on them. Some people really are crazy and they really do deserve it.

      @Poltergeist ruins the comment section,

      …what the hell?

      May 27, 2015 at 8:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.12   Arhi Mith

      Stacy, in my world empty garbage cans do everything BUT sit “out on the curb of your neighbor’s house”

      It takes just a little bit of wind and voila, they’re all over the road.

      May 29, 2015 at 6:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.13   Meep

      Can I report you to the spelling and grammar enforcement?

      May 31, 2015 at 12:29 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   stan smith

    Sounds like Chris in Cincinnati is a sociopath douchebag and has no problem admitting it on the internet.

    May 26, 2015 at 10:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Haterade

      …that escalated quickly.

      May 26, 2015 at 10:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   The Elf

      Found the note writer.

      May 27, 2015 at 10:47 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Steve

      “Have a nice Day.”

      Love,
      stan

      May 27, 2015 at 11:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Haterade

    Hope I’m wrong, but I get the feeling this one is going to put Indoorcatmageddon to shame.

    For the record, put me down for “If they leave their cans in the sidewalk or in the street, that is kinda douchey. Otherwise, I have a hard time caring.”

    May 26, 2015 at 10:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Elf

      Yes, of all the neighbor problems, this one’s pretty low on the list. It’s kind of douchey, but meh. They’re more like a douche bag and not a douche canoe.

      I once had a neighbor yell at me for not putting the cans away. It was a workday. The trash was picked up after I left. I had an after work appointment. I was gone from the house for 15 hours. I put the cans away as soon as I got home, before I went into the house for the first time since leaving it at 5am. Exactly how was I supposed to put them away when I wasn’t there?

      May 27, 2015 at 10:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   kermit

      I dunno, Haterade.

      We haven’t gotten to the possibility that those empty trashcans have indoor/outdoor cats in them.

      May 27, 2015 at 11:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   The Elf

      If your outdoor cat lives in a trashcan, is it really an outdoor cat?

      May 27, 2015 at 1:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   kermit

      Only if your trashcan is an outdoor trashcan.

      If your indoor trashcan houses a outdoor cat, well things get more complicated and we need to draw a diagram to sort it all out. Or call Heisenberg instead.

      May 27, 2015 at 1:58 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Haterade

      Would an indoor trash can that houses multiple cats be a candominium?

      May 27, 2015 at 3:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Lita bang

      No, Haterade, it’d be a cantastrophe.

      May 27, 2015 at 4:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   The Elf

      Heisenberg? No, this is definitely more of a Schrodinger situation. But since he’s dead, I guess we’ll have to settle for Oscar The Grouch. Can anyone tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

      May 27, 2015 at 8:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   kermit

      You can never get to Sesame Street, Elf. By the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, the distance can’t ever be calculated accurately. And if by some stroke of genius, you do get there, by Schrodinger, Sesame Street and Oscar may or may not even exist.

      May 27, 2015 at 10:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   The Elf

      Oh, it’s there. Mr. Snuffleupagus told me so.

      May 28, 2015 at 6:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.10   Dajagr

      Yes, but Zeno doesn’t think you can ever get halfway there. Or halfway to halfway there. Or…

      May 31, 2015 at 8:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Hellen Without The H

    Please demonstrate respect for these under-appreciated workers who deal with the worst we leave at the curb each week and don’t call them garbage men. They pick up the garbage, but they aren’t garbage men.
    “Have a nice day.” That’s telling them.

    May 26, 2015 at 10:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   JT

    Well there’s a new one. Did they really spell it “you’r”?

    May 26, 2015 at 10:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Raichu

      I think the mark is a stray ink mark, not an apostrophe. (At least, I really hope that’s the case…)

      May 26, 2015 at 11:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   FeRD bang

      I might think that, but a smaller stray mark also appears over the second one in “Your neighbors”. I think someone was struggling with their own impulses to write “you’re” instead of “your”, even longhand. Which is impressive in its weirdness.

      May 27, 2015 at 5:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Lita bang

      I was hoping someone else had noticed that.

      May 27, 2015 at 12:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   The Beast Among Us

      Either they put an apostrophe, or they dotted the “u.”

      May 28, 2015 at 9:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   Lita bang

      I think yoü may be right, Beast.

      May 28, 2015 at 1:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   Haterade

      I’d been wondering what finally became of Mötley Crüe.

      May 28, 2015 at 4:57 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   Haterade

      Huh. Their webpage says they’re on toür, but now we know where they really are… at the kitchen table, writing irate PANs in Cincinnati. With bütterfly stickers on them.

      Jun 1, 2015 at 1:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Raichu

    This is a very good example of something you should say to your neighbors rather than write them in an obnoxious note full of emphasis quotes an other bullshit. (And that’s assuming you gave them more than 24 hours to move the garbage can first.)

    May 26, 2015 at 11:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   The Beast Among Us

      You know what should be done if you’re persnickety about trash cans that have been left out? Put them away for the neighbor. It’s possible they just haven’t been able to get to them in time to satisfy your OCD impulse.

      May 28, 2015 at 9:48 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   TRT

    That’s really nice hand writing. No signs of any sociopathic tendencies there. Very, very, very dangerous.

    May 27, 2015 at 4:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   squib

      The two entirely different capital Gs are a bright red flag . . .

      May 27, 2015 at 8:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Haterade

      Oh my.

      I didn’t notice it until you brought them up, but something about the first G genuinely scares the holy crap out of me.

      Run, Chris, run!

      May 27, 2015 at 10:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   TRT

      That’s one capital G and one initial lowercase g.

      May 27, 2015 at 11:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Nahhh bang

      It looks just like my handwriting, but I’m not the notewriter. Not that I remember, anyway.

      May 27, 2015 at 3:55 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   Lita bang

      We warned you about that sleepwriting of yours…

      May 27, 2015 at 4:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   assiveProgressive

      the second capital G is how my elementary school teachers wrote. I could never get the hang of it and was therefore scolded by the old nasty corporal punishment wretches

      May 28, 2015 at 1:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   TL

      The handwriting screams old lady to me

      Jun 4, 2015 at 2:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Kasaba

    Oh, to have a proper yard. Where I live, most people’s plastic wheelie garbage and recycling bins stay in front of their properties. If you live in an attached house, there is no way to get a bin from the back yard to the front and vice versa, unless you’re dragging it through your house. And if you live upstairs in a split level house…well, you’re not keeping a massive bin upstairs are you. Garbage collection day means dragging the bins maybe 2 or 3 meters nearer the curb, and then back onto your little patch of front yard space later. Passing a house where the bins aren’t lined back up against the wall after collection, usually means it’s a shared house, and everyone’s waiting for someone else to move the bins back.

    May 27, 2015 at 5:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   JoDa

      I lived in a house like that for a while, in the basement apartment. My landlord did expect me to haul the cans through the house, 6x/week (we had 2 trash pick-ups a week, and one recycling, x2 for each pick-up to get them out and back). Fortunately they rented the upstairs, too, and when I met the neighbors they were equally “aw HELL no, we’re not doing that…they stay in the front!”

      May 27, 2015 at 7:37 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Blackadar

    This one is easy to fix. Laminate the latter and then tape it to the front of the cans.

    May 27, 2015 at 6:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Will

      Or do not laminate it and put it inside the bin.

      May 27, 2015 at 9:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   havingfitz

    That garbage was fucking del…actually no, no it was not. It tasted terrible.

    May 27, 2015 at 9:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Juniper

    The apostrophe on the correctly spelled ‘your’ just throws me completely. And Garbage always capitalized? What the hell is up with that? The quotes are an interesting touch as well. They could just signify a ‘common phrase’ kind of thing, or they could be throwing major PA shade.
    I think this is actually the most PA note ever. It’s wondrous ambiguity is a thing to behold.

    May 27, 2015 at 10:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   havingfitz

    Need to play Devil’s Advocate here as I live just outside of Cincinnati and we use the same waste disposal company. They have recently passed a law that you can no longer use your own trash cans: you have to use a 90-gallon can provided by the trash company. Anything not in this can will not be collected. The cans are huge and unwieldy even if they are on wheels: I am 5’2 and the can is almost the same size as I am. When I came home from the hospital I had to have my brother come over and take it to the curb/return it to behind my house because there was no freaking way I could move it myself. I can just imagine little old ladies trying to move it about when it snows this winter. Did I mention I hate the can? I would blow the can up if I could. I really, really hate that can. Anyway, I try and be “good” and return it as quickly as I can but if it is pouring rain and I am having a painful day (incisions acting up) then it can damn well sit on the curb until I am able to wrangle it in.

    May 27, 2015 at 11:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   buni

      The city my Dad lives in did that too; but, after they distributed the super-large cans, people who wanted smaller cans were able to request them and get them swapped out.

      May 27, 2015 at 2:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Belaani

      Somebody who has been “trained by the army” to be a big badass can probably wrangle their F’ng trash can in… and if you were my neighbor, I’d do it for you so you could heal. Neighbors should take care of each other.

      May 27, 2015 at 5:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Kimberly

      I let my neighbor use my trash since I rarely come close to filling it, he gets out of work earlier than I do so a lot of times it is back by my house before I get home.

      May 29, 2015 at 3:36 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   magicdomino

      I’ve got a similar set-up like the one Kimberly describes. My neighbor lets me throw my trash in his Supercan. Even with both of us, it is rarely more than half-filled.

      Jun 9, 2015 at 4:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   L

    We left ours slightly to the side of our driveway for most of one winter because frankly? Trying to drag a wheeled can that’s only slightly shorter than me (I am also just over 5’2″) through 5 feet of snow is NOT SO EASY.

    May 27, 2015 at 12:15 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   buni

      I made the mistake of buying a round can on wheels. The stupid thing tips over at the slightest provocation. Forget trying to wheel it when it’s full. In winter, I lay it down on a sled and drag it down the driveway.

      May 27, 2015 at 2:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   L

      Ours are square, and they’re given to us by the town along with the wheeled recycling bin. In the winter, though, that thing often is not going back around the house. (Because we don’t have a car, we don’t shovel the driveway. Occasionally the guys who plow the street will blow it, but man. I’m not shoveling the driveway for the garbage can.)

      May 27, 2015 at 7:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   buni

      I live out in the boonies, so I had to hire a private company to pick up my trash. I’d be cheaper to drive it to the dump myself, but I like the convenience of just leaving it at the curb.

      May 28, 2015 at 8:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   L

      I don’t blame you there!

      May 30, 2015 at 2:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   Dana

      We have to have the provided giant wheelie bins, too. I have a brother to do the dragging, so I don’t worry about that. What’s annoying is that we have to haul them to the opposite side of the street because we live on a dead end and the garbage truck will only come up the street once and then back out. If we put it on our side, it doesn’t get picked up.

      May 31, 2015 at 7:20 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Belaani

    Simple. 2:00 a.m. Through pillow in can. Add gasoline. Light. Make anonymous call to police. Sit back and watch the show.
    If your neighbors are going to be slovenly, you might as well have fun with it. They’ll probably try out their “trained by the army” shit on the police, who will deal with it the way they usually do when some assjack makes thinly veiled threats to them.

    May 27, 2015 at 5:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Poltergeist

    I think every PA note should come with a little girly sticker for maximum effect. Plus it’s nice to have something pretty to look at while you are reading the rantings of a crazy person.

    “Hey motherfucker, why are you not bending to my every whim? FUCK YOU, you gaping asshole!”
    [Pinkie Pie sticker]

    May 27, 2015 at 6:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   LadyIslay

    Which is worse: leaving your can out for a day or two, or putting it out early just to mess with everyone and make them think that tomorrow is garbage day? I’m so glad I live rurally.

    May 28, 2015 at 2:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   pooham

      That’s a tough one, but I think I’d go with leaving them out. Not only are they an eyesore, but they take up parking space. (I live on a cul-de-sac so curb area is at a minimum.) But we (especially my next door neighbor) put the bins away for each other if they’ve been out for too long.

      There have been a few times when someone (me once or twice) puts their trash out on the wrong day (usually a week with a holiday) and usually we all end up putting our trash out. My thinking is even if the pick-up isn’t really until the day after I’d rather be safe than sorry. I hate having a full trash bin with no more room. Luckily my neighbors and I don’t mind if someone puts their overflow into our bins (on trash day).

      May 28, 2015 at 12:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   L

      We got new recycling bins last week and apparently people don’t understand this “every other week” thing. Wednesday was funny walking about judging all the people who thought it was June 4th already. And then everyone else sees it and thinks it’s the day to do it.

      Read the paper they came with, people.

      May 28, 2015 at 6:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   sunshynegrll

    Leaving an anonymous note for a neighbor is not only a shitty, un-neighborly thing to do, no matter how “polite” the wording or “cute” the sticker.

    May 28, 2015 at 4:15 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Belaani

      You’re right. Pick the next-to-biggest asshat in the neighborhood and sign their name to it.

      May 28, 2015 at 7:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   JustPunkin

    My awesome neighbors will bring my cans up and place them next to my garage while we are at work, especially when it’s particularly windy.
    If they do not, we get them when we get home from work. Everyone should have neighbors as awesome as mine.

    At least as awesome as the ones on THAT side of the house. The other ones, well, yin and yang, right?

    May 28, 2015 at 7:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   JoDa

      I was thinking that a windstorm was the only reason to complain about people leaving their cans out. And, yes, the solution is to put them up close to their house for them. I mean, if the trash is picked up at 10 AM, after I’ve left for work, and a storm blows in at 5 PM, before I get home, there’s not much I can do about the cans.

      When the derecho blew through DC a couple years ago, we came home to find our outdoor table umbrella on the porch, pinned down by our planters. After some noodling, we finally realized a kind neighbor had probably heard the storm was coming and secured the umbrella for us, so that it wasn’t broken/didn’t damage our house or someone else’s. We never found out who did it, but it was very nice of them, as we had gone to happy hour and didn’t even know the storm was coming until it hit. I mean, I suspect I know who did it (he’s just that kind of guy), but he never said anything…

      May 28, 2015 at 7:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   Kimberly

      I feel like I could have written this comment, one great neighbor that will do things like that BUT, the other side? Ugh.

      May 29, 2015 at 3:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.3   L

      We have one neighbour who thinks our yard is her business (she once mowed the dirt under our tree) and… well.

      The other side is a church. They’re fine.

      May 30, 2015 at 2:47 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.4   buni

      My neighbor to the south is a corn field. My neighbor to the north is a busybody old lady who is upset by the fact that the neighbor to her north mows my lawn for me. Like it’s any of her business what anyone else decides to do with their time. Maybe if she was nicer to others, people would be motivated to do nice things for her. But that thought probably never occurred to her. We share a driveway because our houses are so close together and she is totally PA about “her side” and “my side” of the driveway.

      Jun 1, 2015 at 8:32 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.5   JoDa

      Take heart, buni, this could be your neighbor:

      http://wtop.com/montgomery-county/2015/04/neighbors-driveway-dispute-drags-on-in-chevy-chase/slide/1/

      Jun 2, 2015 at 7:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.6   buni

      My situation’s nowhere near that bad, but I often feel that she’s punishing me for sins committed by my home’s previous owners.

      Jun 3, 2015 at 2:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   The Beast Among Us

    “Aww… lookit here… Looks like somebody threw away a perfectly good white boy.”

    - Walt’s brother Louis.

    May 28, 2015 at 9:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Kimberly

      Favorite movie quote ever.

      May 29, 2015 at 3:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   girl_with_all_the_yarn

    If I didn’t know better, I’d say that looks exactly like my grandmother’s handwriting.

    May 28, 2015 at 1:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Superabound

    The “welcome” lady

    May 28, 2015 at 2:14 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   DeniDee

    I want to know what’s with the apostrophes in the word “your”…both times?!

    Jun 1, 2015 at 6:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   YourMom

    This was such a passive-aggressive note I had no idea what about the trash cans was bothering the note writer.

    Jun 7, 2015 at 11:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up