Straight Outta Crestwood (Kentucky)

September 9th, 2015 · 43 comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “Pity the fools of the Crestwood, Kentucky ‘Crips.’ They can’t even scare old ladies.”

Dear Crips:  I am a nervous old lady with a .38 revolver.  Please do not write on my home. T Y :)

Dear Crips:  I am a nervous old lady with a .38 revolver.  Please do not write on my home. T Y :)

related: Oh, sure, blame it on the crackhead.

FILED UNDER: not-so-veiled threats · old folks


43 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Rivkatheaspie

    What a nice smiley face :)

    Sep 9, 2015 at 1:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Lita bang

    And she will (nervous) wreck you.

    Sep 9, 2015 at 2:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   TRT

    Crips… do they come in Ready Assaulted flavour?

    Sep 10, 2015 at 4:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Dane Zeller

    Great! A new social media tool: sides of houses. I can see the promotion now. GraffitiBoard.

    Sep 10, 2015 at 10:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   nobody

    Did the answer was written on the same wall or on something else that was affixed afterward? ‘Cause answering a graffiti by putting up your own seems a bit foolish lol

    Sep 10, 2015 at 11:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      I think it might be a spare bit of siding? The lines are vertical and oddly ridged, and if I mentally rotate it, then I see siding. That’s just a guess.

      Sep 10, 2015 at 11:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   MHD

      It’s a metal sided manufactured home . The old lady’s reply looks like two extra pieces of vinyl skirting.

      Sep 10, 2015 at 11:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   labdude

      I’m inclined to agree with The Elf – if you look closely at the tagged section, down below the lower trim, you can see a bit of material of a color and with a horizontal line that closely matches those of the replied-upon scrap.
      Although I would have called it a trailer vs. ‘manufactured home’.
      Of course, now the Crips know where to find a ‘clean’ .38 revolver…

      Sep 11, 2015 at 2:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   The Elf

    I don’t see “nervous”. I read that as “nevour”, which my brain automatically translated to “devour”. Crips, I’d watch out for this old lady. She’s got a gun and she’s a cannibal.

    Sep 10, 2015 at 11:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Lil'

    Random graffiti-induced memory…

    When I was in high school, an anonymous person spray-painted the side of a store by my house in my honor. “I LOVE YOU LIL” The owner asked me for names, but I had no idea who would do it (I mean, geez, who DIDN’T have a crush on me?? – like asking me to name the leaves of a very large tree on a spring day) It was there for about 10 years. When my husband and I started dating, I drove him by the old store so he could see that he better not ever take me for granted because he has competition. I credit that little drive for 10 years of wedded-bliss. Graffiti – changing lives every day.

    Sep 10, 2015 at 12:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   The Beast Among Us

      Little did you know, it was your now husband that originally wrote that on the store. As you drove him by it, he thought to himself, “Yes! That worked!”

      Sep 10, 2015 at 12:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Lil'

      That sneaky bastard!

      Sep 10, 2015 at 12:43 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   The Beast Among Us

    I would have just written “smokes meat poles” after “crips gang.”

    Sep 10, 2015 at 12:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   RJH

      Haha yeah, because they’re all male and being gay is bad! So good.

      Sep 10, 2015 at 2:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Rivkatheaspie

      Don’t assume they’re all male. This is 2015, and, hopefully, gangs have now caught up in terms of gender equality.

      Sep 10, 2015 at 6:07 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Missy

      Sigh. Let’s be painstakingly politically correct when tailoring an insult on a street gang’s level, by all means.

      And RJH was trying to be sarcastically scolding about the all male thing.

      Sep 12, 2015 at 4:21 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   Rivkatheaspie

      I wasn’t at all serious either, about political correctness.

      Sep 12, 2015 at 6:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   The Elf

      I don’t frankly have time for total political correctness. And to be honest, The Crips of Crestwood Kentucky doesn’t either. The Crips don’t win anymore. They lose to nervous old ladies with revolvers, they lose to the Home Depot that sells the spray paint. Oftentimes it’s fun, it’s kidding, we have a good time. What I say is what I say. And honestly, Nervous Old Lady, if you don’t like it, I’m sorry. I’ve been very nice to to you although I could probably not be based on the way you treated me, but I wouldn’t do that.

      Sep 14, 2015 at 8:37 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   The Beast Among Us

      When a male gang member sucks another male gang member’s dick, he doesn’t do it because he’s gay. He does it because he is the other guy’s bitch. It’s the same as prison sex. Men in prison rape other male prisoners to signify ownership and dominance. In other words, the owner will beat the bitch nigh to death if he doesn’t go along, or perhaps the owner will kill the bitch’s family if he doesn’t go along. So it’s not a gay thing, it’s a “you’re my bitch and I own you because I’m stronger than you” thing.

      And yeah, actually being gay in a gang will get you killed. They haven’t caught up to 2015 yet.

      Sep 14, 2015 at 1:02 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Rivkatheaspie

      anyway, I was trying to joke, but it ended up badly and I regret what I wrote. I’m no good at this joke thing

      Sep 15, 2015 at 6:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Rivkatheaspie

      anyway, I was trying to joke, but it ended up badly and I regret what I wrote. I’m no good at this joke thing

      Sep 15, 2015 at 6:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   pooham

      Rivkatheaspie, I took your comment as joking around. I thought RJ’s was the serious, politically correct one.

      Sep 18, 2015 at 10:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   assiveProgressive

    The Crips gang broke away from the AAARP and they have souped-up motorized wheelchairs and they’re not taking any crap from Nervous Nellie. They know she’s been talking to the po-po about their drug swap meets (trade you Vicodin for Ensure) and Pomeranian dog fights down at the old pool house

    Sep 11, 2015 at 8:41 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   phoenix

      I want to live in that world and live in that retirement home. You paint a beautiful picture.

      Sep 11, 2015 at 10:29 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   Lita bang

      But aP, I thought the trade was oxycontin for Viagra? Or have they gone on the cheap?

      Sep 12, 2015 at 4:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   assiveProgressive

      Search me…

      Sep 12, 2015 at 7:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   Lita bang

      Well, if you insist.

      Sep 13, 2015 at 4:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Little Troublemaker Password

    I really need to get a password for this site…theres a video i need to see so bad but cant find…best video ever but i cant find it for free…

    Little Troublemaker Password – http://main.littletroublemaker.com/59990/pr/rev

    Sep 11, 2015 at 1:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Jami

    Doggone it, I’ve twice now posted a reply to Beast’s reply with various endings to “Crips gang” and both times it did not go through. :-( And I even tried different computers, clearing the cache, etc.

    Sep 13, 2015 at 6:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   The Elf

      It’s the Illuminati. They’re on to you.

      Sep 14, 2015 at 8:39 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Haterade

    Am I the only one who thinks the “Crips gang” is just Bobby Joe from down the street who’s mad that she told his mom about finding him smoking under her trailer?

    Sep 14, 2015 at 3:26 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   WildaBeast

      My thoughts exactly. I suspect it’s some teenager trying to look “hard core” to his friends.

      I’m no expert on gang tags — do the real crips actually paint “crips gang” on things, or are their tags more… subtle?

      Sep 17, 2015 at 2:18 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Jami

    Let’s see, maybe if I do this as it’s own reply it’ll go through -

    Crips gang -

    have terrible penmanship.

    convinced Fox to cancel Firefly.

    watch Glee.

    love Justin Beiber.

    were on the grassy knoll in 1963.

    will spoil Game Of Thrones for you if you cross them.

    Sep 14, 2015 at 2:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Lita bang

      And also know on which page Snape kills Dumbledore.

      Sep 14, 2015 at 3:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   The Elf

      That’s it! Marking up someone’s house is one thing, but you DO NOT SPOIL GAME OF THRONES.

      Sep 14, 2015 at 8:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   The Beast Among Us

      I’m guessing that with the exception of the Justin Beiber one, those comments would go way over the head of any Crips member.

      Sep 16, 2015 at 7:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.4   Jami

      Don’t under estimate the popularity of Game Of Thrones.

      (Says the woman who’s only read the books and has no intention of watching the show….)

      Sep 17, 2015 at 11:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.5   The Elf

      Jami, I’m usually a strong defender of books over movie and TV adaptions of books.

      In this case, the show is better, especially as the seasons went on (and the show got better and the books got worse). Now HBO will likely finish the series absent the final book. I can only assume the eventual book will be an adaption of the show.

      Give it a whirl, unless you are one of those people who can’t handle depictions of violence or sex. No judgement if you can’t; some scenes are particularly hard to watch even for those who enjoy TV rated MA.

      Sep 18, 2015 at 10:24 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.6   Jami

      Sex is one thing – unless anal is involved, I can’t handle that. But I hear they have a graphic decapitation of a horse and other violent animal killings. I just can’t watch that.

      And the books have less rape from what I understand.

      Also George gave the writers notes about what all was going to happen in the future books in case he died before he completed writing them.

      Sep 18, 2015 at 11:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.7   The Elf

      Ah, so also avoid Caligula, the Malcolm McDowell version.

      There are a few scenes involving violence to animals, the one with the horse is particularly bad. So if that’s your hang-up then you’ll either need to watch it with a friend who can tell you when to come back into the room or skip it. I get it. The show isn’t for everyone. But it is better than the books, and I don’t say that lightly.

      Sep 18, 2015 at 2:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   TRT

    Sorry, forgive me for being terribly ignorant and British, but Crips is short for cripples, yes? I think that equal opportunities for the differently abled in gang warfare is an admirable goal.

    Sep 18, 2015 at 4:09 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      Those pimp canes make good weapons.

      Sep 18, 2015 at 10:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Gizmola

    The best part is that I live in Crestwood, Ky – I’m dying to see this house. And we do not have a gang problem. Gosh, most of us rarely lock our doors!

    Sep 18, 2015 at 11:43 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up