Namaste, asshole.

November 17th, 2015 · 72 comments

Just in case you needed another reason to hate on LuluLemon

Dear whoever stole my LuluLemon pants...

related: Sentimental pants

FILED UNDER: laundry · stealing


72 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Ace of Space

    Why do I suddenly have a taste for lemonade?

    Nov 17, 2015 at 4:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Lita bang

      Extra sour, even.

      Nov 17, 2015 at 5:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Poltergeist

      Milk, Milk, Lemonade
      Around the corner fudge is made

      Nov 19, 2015 at 4:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   valarie

    Oh yuck, the thought of wearing someone else’s yoga pants gives me a weak stomach.

    Nov 17, 2015 at 4:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   FeRD bang

      I believe the accepted standard is to launder stolen garments before wearing them. At which point, it’s really no different than buying second-hand. Though I suppose second-hand yoga pants may be a stomach-weakening idea in its own right.

      (Obviously, this doesn’t apply to stolen underwear, since soiled is a “selling” point there. You’re welcome.)

      Nov 17, 2015 at 4:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Dave S

      I think yoga pants qualify as underwear. I mean you don’t wear anything under them, do you?

      Nov 19, 2015 at 1:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Rattus

      I’ve seen many a lady cycling in them in front of me, and given that they are so tight they become translucent while in pedalling mode, it would seem that the proper undergarment protocol for yoga pants is the thong.

      Nov 20, 2015 at 7:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Lita bang

    Just what everyone needs: a friendy neighbor.

    Nov 17, 2015 at 5:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   The Beast Among Us

      A very friendy and handy neighbor.

      Nov 17, 2015 at 6:56 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   The Elf

      Just a little tip from your friendly neighborhood Yogamom.

      Nov 18, 2015 at 11:04 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   The Beast Among Us

      I think the Friendly Neighborhood Yogadad is more able to give a little tip.

      Nov 18, 2015 at 11:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Lita bang

      Or a lot of tip.

      Nov 18, 2015 at 3:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   The Elf

      As long as it’s just a tip…..

      Nov 20, 2015 at 10:16 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Friendy Friend

    Why does Friendy claim to know that “whoever” has an unattractive donkey? Also, why is s/he prejudiced against less-traditionally beautiful beasts?

    What a farce of the arse!

    Nov 18, 2015 at 12:08 am   rating: 92  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Lil'

    Dear Friendly Neighbor,

    I think you mean “HAD an ugly ass.” Now that I have these awesome gym pants, I’m more motivated than ever to work out. I look great! I even met a new guy. He loves the pants. He says his ex-girlfriend had an identical pair but that I wear them better. I guess these pants are really popular. Gotta go. It’s time for my spin class.

    Signed,
    Fit and Fab

    Nov 18, 2015 at 7:39 am   rating: 92  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   The Elf

    I think they’ve confused having an ugly ass with being an ugly asshole who steals clothes.

    Nov 18, 2015 at 11:07 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   Jane

    Wouldn’t they have roughly the same-sized ass if the pants (presumably) fit both of them?

    Nov 18, 2015 at 11:21 am   rating: 92  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   assiveProgressive

    I can do without them. I signed up for Nude Yoga.

    Nov 18, 2015 at 11:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Lil'

      Without them I can do. Signed, Nude Yoda.

      Nov 18, 2015 at 12:36 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Lita bang

      Want that, I do not.

      Nov 18, 2015 at 3:13 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Haterade

      Or share them we can. Signed, Lewd Yoda.

      Nov 18, 2015 at 3:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   The Elf

      When 900 years old you be, look as good your ass will not.

      Nov 20, 2015 at 10:19 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   The Elf

      Story time! One time I did some yoga in my own house. Not wanting to bother to change into clothes just to change out of them again, I went without. Why not? I found out why not. While in plank, along comes my cat. Suddenly he darted under me and flopped over on his back. I had provided him with two new dangling toys to play with…..

      Cat has claws. Can’t hold plank with one arm while detaching cat with the other. Learned a valuable lesson that day. So did the cat.

      Nov 20, 2015 at 10:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   Lita bang

      I am really, terribly sorry, Elf, but I cracked up at that mental image.

      Nov 20, 2015 at 12:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   The Elf

      I laughed too. Later. Much later.

      And the moral of the story is…. don’t steal yoga pants. Steal sports bras.

      Nov 20, 2015 at 3:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   Haterade

      Unless you’re a guy – in that case, steal yoga pants for protection of danglies. (Preferably with shorts, for eye protection…)

      Nov 22, 2015 at 5:16 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   Dub-Gee

      Why does someone insist on mentioning their cat in every thread on here? It doesn’t matter if the note relates to angry racists, someone doing a turd in a baby’s face, a dead body found in an abandoned fridge or random crap like that – someone will ALWAYS mention their cat. It ain’t called for, man.

      Nov 26, 2015 at 7:05 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   Lita bang

      Catwin’s Law.

      It’s like Godwin’s Law, but much cuter and more furry. Also more socially acceptable.

      Now shush your mouth and worship our feline overlords.

      Nov 27, 2015 at 1:31 pm   rating: 92  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   The Beast Among Us

      Well, that all depends on whether it’s an indoor cat or an outdoor cat.

      Nov 30, 2015 at 2:55 pm   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.12   assiveProgressive

      Because cats, with their knowing looks and loud hisses, taught me everything I know about being passive-aggressive.

      Dec 1, 2015 at 12:46 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.13   The Elf

      It’s the internet? What would the internet be without cats?

      Dec 1, 2015 at 8:59 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.14   The Beast Among Us

      Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is the internet. Why do you ask?

      Dec 3, 2015 at 11:42 am   rating: 91  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Jami

    “Dear Pantless,

    Actually, I stole your cheap pants because they made your ugly ass more unbearable to look at than Justin Beiber is to listen to. I’m doing everyone a favor before your heinous heiny causes us all to go blind.

    Also, would you please wash it more than once a month? We’re all about to die from the smell.

    Signed,
    Lovely Ass”

    Nov 19, 2015 at 12:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   assiveProgressive

      I stole them because I couldn’t bear to look at your camel toe anymore

      Nov 19, 2015 at 1:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   Poltergeist

    Have you seen how tight some of those yoga pants are? Notewriter should check the crack of her ass for her missing garment.

    Nov 19, 2015 at 4:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   assiveProgressive

      Oh, so that’s where missing socks go. You crack me up.

      Nov 19, 2015 at 9:51 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   Lita bang

      Butt if you’re sitting on your socks, I think you may have a problem.

      Nov 19, 2015 at 5:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   assiveProgressive

      I was trying to keep my camel toe warm and something went wrong.

      Nov 20, 2015 at 12:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Lita bang

      I know what went wrong. It wasn’t hump day.

      Nov 20, 2015 at 12:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Lauren Corina

    I miss Lulu Lemon, we can’t get it here in the UK!

    Psst. If you like brutally honest and humorous posts, take a look at mine… http://www.hampicklesandoreos.com

    Let me know what you think!

    Dec 1, 2015 at 4:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Juniper

    This place is going the way of ‘Winning At Everything’

    Dec 5, 2015 at 12:19 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   The Beast Among Us

      Rest In Peace, PAN.

      Dec 7, 2015 at 12:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Lita bang

      Alas, poor Yorick…er, PAN…er, no, you know what… *exits stage right*

      Dec 7, 2015 at 1:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Haterade

      I officially forbid PAN to go gentle into that good night. There are too many nifty people here, and too many more cracks yet to be made about passive-aggressive notes and the people who love them. (;_;)

      Rage, rage, against the dying of the site.

      Dec 7, 2015 at 4:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   assiveProgressive

      I hate the Facebook version.

      Dec 8, 2015 at 1:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Haterade

      Didn’t even know there was a Facebook version, to be honest.

      I know several reasons I find FB’s behavior troubling (not to mention finding their experiments on people outright disturbing), but I haven’t been able to figure out yet why their setup repels me on a visceral level. I used to mistakenly think I hated it, but I was wrong… I just don’t want anything to do with it.  ƪ(-_-)ʃ

      Dec 8, 2015 at 10:30 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   park rose

      Oh, gigglebrax. http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2015/11/17/namaste-asshole/#comment-810561
      I’ll link to the Unholy ghost. PAN did a great job and brought a lot of us together at the nascent or next stages of internet humour.
      BTW, Lita, I have pre-empted your gigglebraxing now.

      Dec 12, 2015 at 11:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.7   Lita bang

      I can deal with that.

      Dec 13, 2015 at 6:40 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Lita bang

    I think I vaguely recall there being an FB version, but I haven’t ever prodded at it. I like it here.

    Dec 8, 2015 at 1:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Lita bang

      Oh balls, I appear to have gigglebraxed.

      *crawls into the unitard*

      Dec 9, 2015 at 1:49 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   park rose

      Love you, sistah!

      Dec 12, 2015 at 11:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   Lita bang

      I am loved! <3

      Dec 12, 2015 at 4:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Belaani

    The site’s dying. Like Regretsy, which I miss!

    Dec 9, 2015 at 10:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Grim Reaper

    Did the admin of PAN die or something?

    Dec 11, 2015 at 1:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Lita bang

      I find it funny someone called “Grim Reaper” is asking that question.

      (I rather hope Kerry is not dead or ill or something.)

      Dec 11, 2015 at 12:53 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   kermit

      It’s called exam season, people. If Kerry is still in the grad program, then it’s understandable.

      Even if they’re not, it’s still understandable because December is a crazy busy month for everyone except young children. So go out and get some fresh air and watch tonight’s meteor shower.

      Dec 13, 2015 at 6:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.3   Lita bang

      I would love to do exactly that, but there’s so much cloud cover I’m not even sure we have a sky.

      Dec 13, 2015 at 9:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.4   Haterade

      I really need to get my eyes checked. Or possibly my brain, or most likely both.

      “Did the admin die of PAN or something?”

      I can just see it now… as we speak, someone is reading their third “Who stole my sandwich” note this week in the break room of some cubicle farm. Suddenly, the accumulated hostility and frustration becomes its own supernatural phenomenon, and all 2,783 notes that have been posted since the founding of the company begin flying wildly around in a manner evocative of The Birds. Their victim collapses, leaving coworkers baffled when they find the body.

      The next day corporate issues a directive mandating that all passive-aggressive communication be limited to email, and so begins the evolution of Skynet.

      Dec 14, 2015 at 4:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.5   Lita bang

      To be fair, I read it as that myself at first. I didn’t have anywhere near as vivid a mental image though, but I love yours. :D

      Dec 15, 2015 at 2:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.6   Grim Reaper

      Gee kermit, thanks for the rebuke and the implication that I/we never go outside based on the fact that we observed that the site hasn’t been updated in over a month. It only takes a few clicks to check up on it and I doubt it takes an agonizing amount of work to throw up an update either. I understand there’s a hand up your ass kermit but that’s no reason to be such a grouch.

      Dec 23, 2015 at 2:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.7   Lita bang

      Uh…you’re the one being the grouch, Grim. Kermit made no such implication, just a little lighthearted teasing.

      Dec 23, 2015 at 12:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.8   The Beast Among Us

      Namaste, people!

      Dec 28, 2015 at 12:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   assiveProgressive

    Oh, and what happened to the “Stirring up trouble” box? Now there’s an ad in that spot. Good god, I had to join a bunch of loons on Facebook to get my giggles and chortles. Hmm. If some graduate program is to blame for the state of PAN, then I say down with edumacation! Down with yoga pants!

    Dec 14, 2015 at 12:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Lita bang

      Ah, so I’m not the only one who noticed that, then.

      Dec 14, 2015 at 1:24 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Haterade

      Down with yoga pants!

      Heh heh, agree with this I do.

      Lewd Yoda

      Feb 12, 2016 at 6:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   Facebook sucks

    If only one good thing comes out of the death of PAN, it’s that I’ll no longer have to see comments from that asshat Poltergeist.

    Dec 30, 2015 at 3:02 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Rachel

    Funny, I never have this problem with my $11 Wal-Mart gym pants… O.o

    Jan 7, 2016 at 9:13 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Nicole

    Yoga, I can barely touch my own toes, maybe I should try it without the pants, surely that’s what’s holding me back!

    Apr 26, 2016 at 2:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   Gabby C Kent UK

    That’s just so funny who would wear Lemon type lycra anyway but I do love the put down “your ugly arse”.

    That’s so funny but what if they had a great arse or was the person who said your ugly arse also referring to his own miaow !

    Sep 1, 2016 at 4:56 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Robbe Willems

    Dude that’s really funny! He must’ve been really shocked that you wrote that note! LMFAO

    Sep 23, 2016 at 3:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Mathieu VW

    *Triggered*

    Sep 23, 2016 at 3:54 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Mathieu VW

    Well I guess that the thief is a bad ass lol

    Sep 23, 2016 at 3:57 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up