You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

April 14th, 2014 · 71 comments

Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over?

Missing: Three All Beef Hot Dogs

related: A bitter butter battle

→ 71 CommentsFILED UNDER: food · non-apology apology · office · St. Louis


The nicest possible way

April 8th, 2014 · 63 comments

Really? This is the nicest possible phrasing you could come up with?

I am going to say this in the nicest possible way: Who is the stupid idiot that keeps putting cans of soda and bottles of water in the freezer? Stop doing this. I am tired of cleaning up the messes you make!

I mean, this guy even said please.

Do NOT put cans of soda in the freezer!!!! They explode and get all over people's food! Please do not put them in the freezer!

(Thanks to Ben in Dallas and Allie in Orlando for submitting.)

 

related: Ice Box-ing

→ 63 CommentsFILED UNDER: beverages · Coke · exclamation-point happy!!!! · office fridge


No, not the stink eye!

April 3rd, 2014 · 25 comments

Writes our submitter in Leeds: “I enjoy the fact that a second piece of paper had to be added to express the full rage of this (presumably wet-footed) person.”

To the guy who pissed in the lift on Sunday Morning, You are DISGUSTING! I hope you woke up with a massive hangover and are now hanging your head in shame that the lovely people of A block were unknowingly walking your urine around, and undoubtedly into their flats! I may not have fully seen your face, but your navy shift and hair cut should hopefully allow me to recognize you, and give you a look of shame at your disgusting behavior! Use a toilet next time, it's not hard.

related: Lift or Loo?

→ 25 CommentsFILED UNDER: drizzunk · elevator · piss · public shaming · that's disgusting · U.K.


Pity the fool

April 2nd, 2014 · 38 comments

Writes our submitter in Santa Rosa, CA: “Our office is full of people who like to take the last of the coffee and not take the time to brew a new pot. And not just on April Fool’s Day.”

April Fool's Day was yesterday. If you finish a carafe of coffee, please make another one.

related: Coffee pot flowchart

→ 38 CommentsFILED UNDER: coffee · office


Sweetums? Hey, sweetums?

April 1st, 2014 · 28 comments

Ian in Ontario was browsing in a used bookshop when he found this copy of one of Roger Hargreaves classic “Mister” books — complete with a gift inscription to the book’s previous owner. Adds Ian: “I can’t imagine why ‘sweetums’ didn’t want it anymore.”

MR. LAZY

 

WARNING: HEH, HEH, Don't take this too seriously, sweetums. It's just a joke.

 

related: Another book inscription that didn’t go too well

→ 28 CommentsFILED UNDER: just kidding!