Entries Tagged as 'a little patronizing'
Our submitter, Glenn, says this all-staff e-mail “just kinda sucked the life out of us” around his office. “It was like a Mom saying ‘Guess what, kids?” in a really excited voice, and then saying ‘You’re going to the dentist!!!‘”
But the best part of this note — besides the pitch-perfect forced jollity — is the fact that at the time this message was sent, only one person in the office (Glenn) happened to have long sideburns and a “fun” faux hawk. So, gosh darn it, life is still good!
related: the classic all-staff e-mail
Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · now that's management · office · rhetorical question · Texas
Our anonymous submitter in Seattle, an artist, used to pass the downtime at his day job by doodling on boxes. “They know it was me,” our submitter says, but instead of, you know, confronting him, management decided — in true passive-aggressive style — to hang this critique up for all to see.
related: Just a friendly reminder [you hussy you!]
Tags: a little patronizing · art · now that's management · retail hell · Seattle · smiley
Christoph found this polite and friendly note on the door of his apartment in San Francisco. a reasonable enough request, to be sure, except for the fact that — despite his neighbor’s claimed omniscience — “I don’t own any exercise equipment.”
Admits Christoph: “The sound in question was likely a swivel chair…and my habit of rolling back and forth on it at 2 a.m.”
Meanwhile, Kate spotted this lonely stair-climber in the front yard of a nearby house in Snohomish, Washington. “It made me wonder whose stairmaster it really was,” Kate says, “and who wrote the note.” (A newly self-aware infomercial enthusiast? A bitter spouse?)
Alas, Kate says, “We may never know. The underused piece of exercise equipment was gone by morning.”
related: If you needed an excuse to skip the gym today
extra credit: The hawaii chair [youtube.com]
Tags: a little patronizing · hey fatty · irregular capitalization · neighbors · noise · San Francisco · Washington state
After messing up his back, Clay in Knoxville figured he’d give a chiropractor a shot. But when the doc he saw refused to show him the x-rays he’d taken until after a “seminar” about payment plans — oh, and treatment options — Clay decided to take his aching back elsewhere. A few days later, he got this caring follow-up letter in the mail.
UPDATE: Too good to be true, you say? Clay clarifies: “The reason I didn’t block out the “Woodacre” is that it was wrong — it was wrong on my charts and I pointed it out to the receptionist. One page even had a “verified by” signature on it and ALL my information was wrong. I have no idea how they got the address right on the envelope and wrong on the letterhead (the same as on the paperwork I pointed out to them), but they did.”
related: Happy to be of service
Tags: "customer service" · a little patronizing · Knoxville · oh-so-sincerely · Tennessee · thanks (but not really)
The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.
Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago
Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas
Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update
Exhibit d) stating the obvious
related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Facebook · garbage · ice · Moms & Dads · office · roommates · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · whiteboard
Writes an anonymous New Yorker: “Our neighbors hate us because we are the youngest in the building. Thus, any malfunction that occurs in the building results in notes directed towards us. And yes, this note was a follow-up to another note (seen at left) also directed at us.”
Happy St. Patrick’s Day, kids!
related: infinite note project
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · kids today · neighbors · New York · opening/closing
To quote Chris Anderson responding to Milton Friedman: “A free lunch doesn’t necessarily mean the food is being given away or that you’ll pay for it later — it could just mean someone else is picking up the tab.”
Indeed, Craig in New York offers this example of the negative externalities that can come along with free stuff. On one hand: free soda. On the other: notes like these. (You can still see the CliffsNotes version peeking out from underneath.)
related: everyone deserves a cold drink
Tags: a little patronizing · beverages · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · New York · p.s. · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR
Marc in San Francisco spotted this at a restaurant in the Haight called All You Knead (have fun with those puns, kids). I can certainly empathize, but after reading some of the reviews…well, maybe there’s a reason the tips aren’t so great.
related: A friendly tip from your waitress
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Francais · restaurant · San Francisco · tipping
Tim is the night auditor at a hotel in Fort Smith, Arkansas and hardly ever sees his bosses. Instead, they communicate with him through charming memos like this one.
Tags: a little patronizing · Arkansas · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · now that's management · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police
Spotted by Ivy from Nashville in the offices of Nickelodeon in New York…
Tags: a little patronizing · New York · office · toilet