Entries Tagged as 'actually totally reasonable'

Park on my privates again? No!

October 25th, 2010 · 128 Comments

Lisa from Toronto doesn’t try to hide the fact that this note was, uh, not exactly undeserved. “On a long weekend in Grand Bend, my boyfriend squeezed into a parking spot which partially placed his front tires on the edge of someone’s lawn,” she says. But if Lisa and her bf lost any sleep over their vehicular faux pas — and I’m guessing they didn’t — it seems like this note, which Lisa called “amazing,” would more than make up for it. Okay!

Why you bad park? No ticket! I have for son dealer plate! You ok? Fuck you guy! Okay! Park on my privates again? No! Bad park you.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Clearly a non-native English speaker · double-entendre alert · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2010 · Ontario · parking

Risky Business

October 11th, 2010 · 73 Comments

Tremaine spotted this note posted in the lobby his Calgary apartment building. I like to imagine it the “lust” stop on Slothful Scotty‘s Seven Deadly Sins Tour.

Apartment 406: Stop calling escorts then not answering your door.

related: Yes, Scotty, this is why you’re fat.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Calgary · neighbors · sex sex sex

That’s…actually a totally reasonable request

August 26th, 2010 · 51 Comments

What’s frightening, of course, is that these things needed to be stated in the first place.

ATTENTION: Please stop urinating on the door handle. Thank you!

Please do not vomit on door

Smearing your bodily fluids on the fixtures is not socially acceptable. Please stop and learn some proper hygiene.

(Thanks to Jill in Des Moines, James in the U.K., and Heather and Eric in New York for submitting…and the kid from The Squid and the Whale for the, uh, inspiration.)

related: Apparently every office has someone with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall


Tags: actually totally reasonable · bodily fluids · hygiene · most popular notes of 2010 · piss · vomit · WTF?

Could you spare a tissue for the lady?

August 18th, 2010 · 58 Comments

When Sal spotted this notice at an athletic clothing store in San Diego, he says that while he couldn’t quite picture how a tissue would get the job done in this situation — not to mention how this policy came to be —  “I figured it was best not to ask questions.”

Ladies...if you happen to have forgotten your undies, please ask us for a tissue. We would appreciate it if you didn't try on our apparel commando!

Meanwhile, when I first read this sign — from a club in Vancouver — my first thought was, “Well, that seems like a reasonable enough request.” Our submitter, Cherisse, begs to differ. “Sadly, there is no bathroom backstage,” she explains, ” wnd when a girl’s gotta go, sometimes the other end of the club is a long ways a way.” She adds: “If it wasn’t for the used paper towels being left outside, no one ever would have known.”

ATTENTION LADIES ANYONE CAUGHT PEEING OUT THE BACKDOOR WILL BE TERMINATED IMMEDIATELY

So… like Sal, I’m gonna say it’s probably best not to ask too many questions about this one.

related: “Who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work?  Who does that?”

Tags: actually totally reasonable · bold-underlined-caps · hygiene · piss · retail hell · San Diego · Vancouver · WTF?

World Cup fans and great cats: together in vuvuzela disdain

July 3rd, 2010 · 43 Comments

From South Africa, a non-passive-aggressive weekend bonus note!

I wouldn’t be surprised if this sign — from Cheetah rehab center near Capetown — was only posted after the recent demise of some hapless Darwin Award candidate. (One who thought blasting one of the most irritating sounds on earth in the face of a large predatory cat was a good idea.)

Please refrain from blowing vuvuzela's [sic] in or around Cheetah Outreach Facility. Kind Regards, Management

Tags: actually totally reasonable · animal welfare · apostrophe catastrophe · noise · South Africa

Killing it with kindness

April 16th, 2010 · 82 Comments

So, Brandon in San Diego had a party, and apparently people stayed out pretty late playing beer pong in the yard — a yard which happens to be just outside the bedroom window of the neighbors, an older couple in their 70s. The morning after, our submitter Mallory says, Brandon woke up to find this taped to his front door.

Final score: Brandon, o. Sweet little old lady, EPIC WIN!

Dear Brandon,  I'm so glad you're my friend...

The world is a much better place with you in it! But 3 a.m. is not a good time to play in the yard.

related: My condolences on your birthday

Tags: actually totally reasonable · neighbors · noise · old folks · San Diego

“Really, Honey. Take your time!”

April 9th, 2010 · 118 Comments

Gail in Pennsylvania says the Ann Taylor Loft store at her local mall has a small table stocked with paper and crayons — “an offering to the busy mother who has been forced to bring her pesky little children along for a shopping trip.”

When she took a closer look at the table’s scribblings, however, she had to chuckle at the sitcom-like image of a grown man stuffed into one those kiddie-sized chairs. Adds Gail: “I wonder if Greg’s wife ever saw her wonderful husband’s little PA note to the world? Well, here’s her chance!”

Greg was here waiting 'PATIENTLY' for his wife to try clothes on

related: Happy reinforcing gender stereotypes day!

Tags: actually totally reasonable · battle of the sexes · martyr complex · message to all intended for one · Pennsylvania · retail hell · sig o

Counter attack

February 25th, 2010 · 196 Comments

“Personally, I think all places should post this sign,” says Molly in Los Angeles.

We cordially ask that you...  Refrain from Call Phone Use At the Counter and Register  It's not that we don't appreciate your busy schedules, it's just nauseatingly rude and makes us feel less than human.  Thank You! -the people on the other side of the counter.

These days, it appears a lot of cash register-operators agree with Molly (and the fancy shop in Studio City where she buys her cheese).

To wit: exhibit a, from Betsey in Sumter, S.C.

Counter attack

Exhibit b) spotted by Otto at a sandwich shop in Frisco, Colorado

I wold love to take your order, As soon as you get off your Phone. -Thanx!!!

And so on and so forth.

But I’d like to draw your attention to this piece,  spotted by Jenna at a Pathmark pharmacy in Bayshore, New York, as a true masterpiece of the genre. With just a few carefully crafted words, it transforms this common sentiment into the ultimate in shame-inducing passive-aggression.

We promise...we won't interrupt you while you are on the phone. That would be rude of us.

related: Top five musical crimes perpetrated by record store customers in the 90s and 2000s

Tags: "customer service" · actually totally reasonable · California · cell phone · Colorado · etiquette · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · oh snap · South Carolina

A review of last night’s performance

February 17th, 2010 · 194 Comments

Aleister in London found this critique slipped under his door after an impromptu Thursday night sing-along.  “I am a big fan of my neighbours’ critical opinion,” Alastair says. “I won’t offer much defense other than that our music selection was exceptional and I was on my way to work when I found it.”

Well done, Flat 3. Dry wit, a soft touch, and lovely handwriting? This is one note that definitely deserves a place of honor on the fridge.

Dear Flat 1, We are sorry to bother you but we couldn't help hearing what a fantastic time you had last night/this morning.

If you absolutely must write a note, I’d say this is how to do it.

related: It was an ironic dance party, okay?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · London · neighbors · noise

Escape poodle

December 7th, 2009 · 219 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Canada says his apartment building has been having some crime issues lately that has the residents all aflutter — resulting (according to the following note) in a modern-day witch hunt…Canadian-style!

Just because I have a lot of tattoos doesn't mean I'm a drug dealer!

Jay darling, I think everybody in your building owes you a big fat hug.

related: On jamming

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Canada · CAPS LOCK · drugs · malapropisms · neighbors