Entries Tagged as 'all clogged up'

My bowels are irritable, and so am I!

October 3rd, 2013 · 32 Comments

Writes our submitter in Alabama: “After the both men’s rooms in our office suffered from some serious anal explosions, our boss sent around an accusatory email,” which everyone in the office assumed was directed toward a particular coworker, Dan. “Dan vehemently maintains his innocence,” our submitter says, “and in an effort to ‘prove’ it, he posted this note above one of the desecrated toilets.”

IF YOU CLOG UP THIS TOILET AND DO NOT UNCLOG IT, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, AND PUT THE  DIRTY PLUNGER ON YOUR DESK.  I'M TIRED OF TAKING SHIT FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S SHIT. -DAN

related: A diarrhea-only toilet?

Tags: all clogged up · not-so-veiled threats · office · shit · toilet

The Paper Towel Apocalypse

April 29th, 2013 · 50 Comments

It you want people to actually pay attention to your bathroom signage, it’s go big or go home. This one certainly made Jennifer in Tennessee take notice.

Ladies, Please do not put any paper/plastic products in the toilet paper other than toilet paper (ie paper towels, feminine hygiene products, etc). This is hugely important as these toilets are directly connected to the epicenter of the planet earth and the world will end is a cataclysmic explosion of apocalyptic proportions if anything, other than toilet paper, is placed inside. We have provided these cute, little silver trash cans for your convenience...and to help you save the world from certain destruction. Thank you.

related: Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

Tags: all clogged up · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · Tennessee · toilet

It’s not rocket science.

March 30th, 2011 · 74 Comments

Our submitter in Huntsville, Alabama says one of her male co-workers shared this note from the men’s restroom at their office. “And yes,” she says, “we really do work for NASA.”

Hey. You. You know who you are. This. This is not OK. We just.. had.. this.. fixed. Do NOT. Paper-mache. The toilet. Three squares of paper. Three wipes. Maybe four if you're feeling adventurous. Flush multiple=

By the way, if you’re traveling to Indonesia any time soon, you can pick up some papier-mâché materials of your very own!

NASA Toilet Roll

related: Toilet-flushing memo from the Empire State Building

extra credit: Mary Roach explains “fecal decapitation” and other toilet issues astronauts encounter in space [thedailyshow.com]

Tags: Alabama · all clogged up · most popular notes of 2011 · office · toilet · toilet paper · you know who you are

Well, that seems (uri)logical enough.

October 4th, 2010 · 50 Comments

Today’s dose of bathroom humor is brought to you by our submitter, Johnny in New Zealand, with the contributions of two anonymous would-be Conchords.

Please do not put chewing gum into this urinal as it causes [blockages] the flavour to go horrible. This urinal tastes horrible even without the gum!

related: The yogurt’s expired. Run for your lives!

Tags: all clogged up · New Zealand · smartass · toilet

Things not to flush down the toilet: your hopes, your dreams…your sweaters

September 1st, 2010 · 60 Comments

Linda spotted this little work of artistic genius at Louie’s Cafe in Santa Fe, New Mexico:

Don't Flush: Tampons Maxi Pads Paper Towels Cigarette Butts One Night Stands Cellphones Condoms Love Letters Junk Mail Sweaters Socks Hopes Goldfish Dreams Diapers Make-up Wallets Maps Gum Poetry Babies Puppies  Your Ex

related: Please do not flush…anything.

Tags: all clogged up · most popular notes of 2010 · restaurant · toilet

Just, you know, [TMI] FYI

March 5th, 2010 · 77 Comments

Alexandra and her best friend David were thrift-store shopping in Memphis, Tennessee when they spotted this sign (in the restroom, this time…not the fitting room).

What I love about this one is that, unlike most of its kind, this notice doesn’t issue any kind of directive (e.g. “Hey nitwits, don’t flush the merchandise!!!”), nor does it directly address the salient issue at hand (Does the toilet actually work now, or not?). Because, really, a simple “Out of Order” sign would have sufficed, if the latter were the case. Instead, it’s just like, “This one time, at band camp…”

SomeOne wiped with Childs T-Shirt and placed in Comode [sic] and flushed - rendering plumbing completely clogged. Thank-you

In place of “Thank You,” I think it should say “The End.” Or maybe: “Who the hell wipes with a child’s T-shirt?!”

related: What is it about thrift store dressing rooms?

Tags: all clogged up · retail hell · spelling and grammar police · Tennessee · TMI · toilet

The existential crisis of a water fountain

September 2nd, 2009 · 89 Comments

This little water fountain with big dreams was spotted by Elizabeth in an Indianapolis college dorm. The illegible signature is a nice touch, no?

Thank you, The Stressed Stuffed-Up Water Fountain

related: I eat dirty plates

Tags: all clogged up · anthropomorphism · college life · Indianapolis

To flush or not to flush

January 8th, 2009 · 141 Comments

This first note was posted in the bathroom of the Gay Pride Center in New Brunswick, New Jersey; the second, in the bathroom of the Rhode Island Department of Health in Providence.

I’d probably recommend steering clear of the kitchen sinks at both facilities.

Attention: Please DO NOT flush anything inside of the toilet (this includes toilet paper, sanitary napkins, paper towels, or wipes.) Use garbage disposal instead. THANK YOU

to flush or not to flush

related: a filthy hap pit

Tags: all clogged up · bathroom · CAPS LOCK · garbage · New Jersey · Providence · toilet · WTF?

A filthy hap pit

September 23rd, 2008 · 207 Comments

Reports Daikiki in Redwood City, California: “Two days after this note was slipped under the door of every apartment in the building, a second one appeared informing the tenants that said property manager was no longer employed as such.”

DON'T THROW TOILET PAPER IN THE TOILET

related: a deep-seated issue

Tags: "up for debate" · all clogged up · California · Clearly a non-native English speaker · toilet · WTF?

The xenophobic toilet

September 8th, 2008 · 59 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Helsinki, Finland says this note has been in every stall in the women’s restroom at her office for as long as she’s worked there.

Puzzlingly, she says, “Most all the women who work here are native speakers of Finnish, so I’m not sure why the note is mainly in English.” (Nor is she sure what the author was trying to convey with his/her choice of red, yellow and green text.)

Please be gentle with my delicate pipes. I WILL clog if you put foreign objects in me, so please use the wastebasket for paper towels, etc. Kiitos Paljon, The Toilet

Oh, and your Finnish language lesson of the day: kiitos paljon means “many thanks.”

related: I asked Santa for a baby alive, and all I got was this stupid dishwasher

Tags: all clogged up · anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · Finland · Helsinki · office · toilet