failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:
1. assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.
2. feigning empathy for said thief.
3. chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.
(grazie mille to nadia [...]

