failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:
1. assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.

2. feigning empathy for said thief.

3. chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.

(grazie mille to nadia [...]

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