Entries Tagged as 'and that’s an order'

See, this is why people hate vegans.

July 6th, 2011 · 788 Comments

“When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.”

(Yeah, the writing is a little hard to read — just wait for the page to load completely, and then click the images below to enlarge.)

I have to be blunt with you.

Why do you buy SO MUCH meat?

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

Tags: and that's an order · Brooklyn · food · most popular notes of 2011 · roommates · self-righteous vegans · TL;DR · unsolicited feedback

This time, management has gone too far.

December 10th, 2009 · 192 Comments

Sure, we’ve seen notices like this one before…although they’re usually from parts of the world with much more questionable plumbing than you’d find (as Jason did) in Northern Virginia.

PER MANAGEMENT NO NUMBER 2 ONLY NUMBR 1 NO EXCEPTIONS

But this doozy, spotted by Dana at a local coffee shop in Canada, is a first.

All MALES using this toilet must sit. Standing is not an option.

related: Comrades, take notice!

Tags: and that's an order · big brother-ish · now that's management · toilet

FUBAR booth

November 10th, 2009 · 84 Comments

Our submitter in Denver says his buddy snapped a photo of this notice while she was getting her new military ID. Adds our submitter: “I’ve had success getting a picture retaken at the DMV, but bad photos at the military ID office are usually considered a ‘personal problem.’”

NOTICE TO CUSTOMERS!!!!  THIS CAMERA WAS SPECIALLY MADE NOT TO TAKE UGLY PICTURES. ALL I CAN SUGGEST IF YOU HAVE A COMPLAINT ABOUT YOUR PHOTOGRAPH IS THAT YOU BRING IN A BETTER FACE FOR YOUR PICTURE.

Happy Veterans Day, folks!

related: no washing your ass in the sink

Tags: "customer service" · and that's an order · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · military

Trained to eat things that would make a billy goat puke

January 15th, 2009 · 182 Comments

Dale in El Segundo, California has the thankless job of ordering office supplies, coffee and whatnot for the cube-farm where he works. Really, really thankless. This note appeared on his desk one day attached to a packet of no-sugar-added hot chocolate.

Seriously Dale, Did you think this would get past me? Sugarless Hot Chocolate will not work. Dan "When your [sic] pushed, killing is as easy as breathing" - Rambo

related: refrain/stop/discontinue

Tags: and that's an order · beverages · California · cocoa · not-so-veiled threats · office

The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

August 3rd, 2008 · 182 Comments

An anonymous submitter in Ann Arbor, Michigan received this e-mail from a guy who just moved into her co-op (“basically a co-ed frat house”) for the rest of the summer. “We’ve tried to reason with him,” she says, to no avail. “When asked why he has to get up so early, he says, ‘I have important things to do in the morning,’ and that’s it.”

the two-word compromise you're looking for: zip wire

The even bigger mystery? Wonders our submitter: “Why, if he needs complete silence at night, did he move in with 16 other college kids on summer break?”

related: there will come soft pains

Tags: and that's an order · college life · drizzunk · e-mail · Michigan · noise · questionable logic · roommates · sleeping · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

Greek melodrama

May 22nd, 2008 · 104 Comments

“On our sorority dorm floor, the girls decorate their doors with pictures and various sorority decorations,” explains Kimberly in Knoxville, Tennessee. But when one of Kimberly’s sorority sisters noticed a few of her pictures were missing, she was like, really not happy. So, over the course of several days, she made her feelings known.

Who took the pictures off my door? Please put them back! - Cody I'm getting REALLY mad about this situation...if you took them PUT THEM BACK!

do NOT come talk to me about it b/c I did not give anyone permission to take them...it's called stealing so put my stuff back I'm really not kidding —Cody

Reports Kimberly: “No worries though — the pictures were finally returned.”

related: How hazing rituals are born

Tags: and that's an order · college life · Knoxville · sorority girls · stealing · Tennessee

Recipe for roommate discord

November 17th, 2007 · 200 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Detroit tells us his roommate is a repeat offender when it comes to passive-aggressive note-leaving. This time around, he went with a note AND a text message. (“And it’s not even my fault!” our submitter protests.)

The oven was left on 450 again. Don't use the oven if you can't turn it OFF

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!

Tags: and that's an order · blitzkrieg approach · Detroit · kitchen · oven · roommates · text message · that's a fire hazard · turning on/off

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler

September 19th, 2007 · 265 Comments

Attention: corporate emergency in the Chicagoland area!

but then they switched from the swingline to the boston stapler

Meanwhile, in Seattle…

thank you so much for your collaborations

Adds our anonymous submitter, “All the glassware for all departments is washed by the poor lab slaves at least twice a day, and then promptly returned to the shelves. How much glassware are they using that they notice if a beaker or two went missing?”

Tags: a little uptight · and that's an order · Chicago · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · office · office supplies · Seattle · spelling and grammar police