PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Arizona

Thank You, Merry Terry!

Kerry — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:33:07 +0000

It’s a PAN miracle! After reaching a hilltop on a holiday hike, Mary in Phoenix found this decorated desert tree.

Upon closer inspection, Mary noticed this (only slightly cranky) message from “Merry Terry.”

Altogether now, everyone…

God may love you, but I can’t speak for the rest of the office

Kerry — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:02:12 +0000

Various religious-themed notes have been popping up all over our submitter’s workplace in Phoenix, Arizona. “Several co-workers have found these messages in their offices, stuck in between papers, and written on whiteboards,” she says, but so far no one has come forward to claim authorship.

One of most recent notes showed up in the office kitchen one morning.

Another note turned up beside it sometime after lunch.

Please change.

Kerry — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 00:22:30 +0000

Our submitter in Tucson, Arizona was a little perplexed by the sign hanging up in newly-assigned cubicle, but didn’t think much of it. When he finally got around to asking his bosses about it, they somewhat cryptically responded that the last person to work in that cubicle “had a problem with change.”

(It’s unclear who made the decision that a change of job was in order for that particular ex-employee.)

Meanwhile, Bethany in Bakersfield, California still isn’t quite sure what to make of this note, which she found on her desk one morning at work. (“Did someone start to write a message and get distracted two words in?” Or am I living my life in such a way that they simply can’t handle it any longer?”)

related: A little bit of psycho-therapy

Dear nice person: you will get caught or cancer and that makes me happy.

Kerry — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 05:17:15 +0000

Laura in Tempe, Arizona found this note posted in the laundry room of her apartment complex, where it’s common knowledge that if you wash your clothes late at night, you’d best grab as they’re done.

Now, I realize not everyone will appreciate the subtlety of this kind of crazy. And sure, notes about stolen laundry aren’t all that uncommon. But for some reason, the peculiar syntax and semi-twisted tone of this one really got me. English majors, can we get a close reading here?

related: Panty raid!

An old dog, up to the same old tricks

Kerry — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 01:25:51 +0000

One day, says Nancy in Arizona, her dad was getting in his car during his lunch break from Lowe’s (the home-improvement big-box store), when he found this note tucked into his door frame.

“He was surprised,” Nancy says, but instead of taking the contrarian approach, dear old Dad decided to humor the person and move his car one spot over. At the end of the day, he actually got a glimpse of the notewriter — a “rather old lady” who works as the store’s phone operator.

“We spent a lot of time discussing her possible reasons for wanting that specific parking spot back,” Nancy says — especially given that it doesn’t seem to have any particular advantage over the other 500 or so spots in the lot — but in the end, they just had to laugh.

In case of emergency…well, you’re on your own.

Kerry — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 02:38:52 +0000

In one of my clearest memories of first grade, I distinctly remember my teacher telling us, on the first day of school, that the bathroom in the back of the classroom was only for emergencies. For non-emergencies, we’d have to wait until lunchtime. In my six-year-old mind, however, “emergency” meant only one thing: “throwing up.” And so, when I had to go, I held it. And held it. Until…well, I wasn’t holding it anymore.

That’s right: It actually took wetting my pants for me to learn that the word “emergency” means very different things to different people — a concept some people apparently still haven’t figured out.

It’s unclear, for example, what might constitute a “citrus emergency” at this Pleasanton, California optometrist’s office. (Perhaps a masochistic mandarin peeling itself?)

You might think people would be a little more precise in their language on a military base. At Arizona’s Fort Huachuca, you’d only be about half right.

At Gustavo’s new office building in Seattle, it only took about a week — and about a bazillion false alarms— before someone decided a little clarification was necessary. (Sorta sounds like something you’d expect from a classroom of first-graders, no?)

Meanwhile, Andrew in Cirencester, England only noticed this sign after pushing open one of his office’s alarmed fire doors (triggering a sudden and unforeseen occurrence — i.e., ear-shattering noise).

What do God, recycling, and ultramarathons have in common?

Kerry — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 04:44:05 +0000

Uh, you got me. The employees at the Arizona Blockbuster store where the manager posted this sign were similarly stumped. Writes our submitter: “I’m all for recycling, but I have to wonder who’s forcing her to run a 100k marathon…not to mention what that has to do with recycling paper.”

related: Al Gore knows

Stone cold crazy like a fox

Kerry — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 02:05:46 +0000

For her 28th birthday, Jennifer in Arizona received this thoughtful card from her mother-in-law (who apparently comes from the same school of gift-giving as my own Grandma Cookie). “Since April I’ve lost 15 pounds,” Jennifer explains. “Apparently she’s concerned that I’ll gain it back.”

We live in a nice community with nice neighbors (before you started posting notes)

Kerry — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 02:36:07 +0000

Chris found this not-so-nice note in the laundry room of his nice townhouse complex. What’s interesting here is how the author seems to undermine his or her own logic. (As Chris put it, “I know it’s really pathetic to steal a dryer sheet and a quarter, but really, is it that big of a deal?”)

If it’s not about the 25 cents, but rather, the principle of the thing, well…which is worse? To take a quarter from an empty laundry room, knowing that one of your neighbors left it there? Or to post a dick-ish anonymous note for all to see…instead of, say, keeping your damn quarters in your pocket like everybody else?

The Trans-Hadean Orchestra

Kerry — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:42:13 +0000

At college, more often than not, your sex life is everybody’s business. But don’t worry…it’s for your own good! For example, the writer of this first note (as spotted by Ashley at Missouri State) displays a heartwarming concern for her dorm-mate’s physical safety.

And as Vic and his friends at Arizona State’s Barrett Honors College discovered, a group calling themselves “the Gods of ASU” has even deeper concerns….the fate of your everlasting soul!!!

Tap tap revenge

Kerry — Wed, 20 May 2009 03:39:00 +0000

Our anonymous submitter found this on his keyboard at work one morning. His sheepish explanation? “I guess I really get into the music on my iPod…”

Admittedly, the note-writer has a point — that shit is annoying, yo! — but the contrarian in me still thinks the rest of the office needs to chip in and get our submitter a set of these.

related: Suck on this!

Oh, please. Do I look like someone who uses drugstore shampoo?

kerry — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 14:47:34 +0000

Lindsey in Scottsdale, Arizona was less than pleased to find this post-it from her roommate when she stepped into the shower one morning. “There’s only three of us in the apartment, so it’s not hard to ask either of us,” she says. “And for the record, I’ve never used her stuff!”

related: clarifying motion #2
extra credit: when in doubt, pout: 7 passive-aggressive roommate movies [flixster.com]

Wet laundry’s a bitch

Kerry — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:45:42 +0000

Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…

Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.

The Pepsi Challenge

Kerry — Sun, 18 May 2008 20:09:39 +0000

Kasey in Tucson spotted this orgy of vending-machine notes in the Anthropology department of the University of Arizona. Says Kasey, “They just keep adding up. I think the Pepsi man is either amused by them or just doesn’t care.” Perhaps…or maybe he’s just hanging back until he has enough material for his dissertation on non-verbal communication among 21st century north americans.

related: Blame it on Coke
extra credit: “look up lithotripsy” [wikipedia]