Entries Tagged as 'attire'

In other words, no D-bags allowed

March 9th, 2011 · 93 Comments

I kinda love the snottiness of this bar’s dress code, mostly because of how perfectly it allows me to envision the nightlife scene in Tampa, Florida, where Kim spotted this notice. (Essentially, a whole lotta Jon Gosselin-type-wannabes?)

In other words, no D-bags allowed

Meanwhile, Holly’s friend Jess snapped this picture of the new dress code at a college-town bar in Ohio. “I’m guessing the boss is not a fan of the frat kids,” says Holly.

If it's on Jersey Shore, it's not coming through the door

related: Why I hate Miami, exhibit a

Tags: attire · bar · most popular notes of 2011 · Ohio · Tampa

I’m sorry if this is rude, but…your mere presence offends my delicate sensibilities.

August 10th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)

I'm sorry if this is rude. But...You smell. And you've been scratching your body constantly. Please go take a shower when you get home. I'm studying for an important exam and your lack of hygiene is affecting my concentration.

Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy.  The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?

Bicycle shorts are an incredible invention. For the avid cyclist, the form-fitting design allows for freedom of movement temperature control and comfort. But when worn to a boxing class, especially in conjunction with a baby blue tank top, they can pose several dangers both to the wearer and those around him. Beyond the obvious aesthetic perils bicycle shorts can create by highlighting abnormally small genitalia, these types of shorts, when worn with a sky blue wife beater, create unease and discomfort among female classmates. This is mostly due to the fact that in 1928 the official uniform of sexual predators was declared to be black bicycle shorts paired with a powder blue tank top. Thankfully, in 1929, boxing shorts were invented, thereby eliminating any chance of someone showing up to a boxing class dressed as a convicted rapist.

related: You seem like really nice people, but…

Tags: a little insensitive · attire · gym · library · mean girls · noise · odor

Vintage Snobs ‘R’ Us

June 23rd, 2010 · 92 Comments

Mark from Liverpool spotted this sign in the window of a vintage clothing store in the center of Rome. Please, someone go take a dump in their fitting room.

No Aliens No Visitors No Stingies No Miserables ONLY BUYERS! ONLY VINTAGE LOVERS! NO TOURIST

Meanwhile, as Tyler and his pals discovered, this vintage store in Madison, Wisconsin is apparently only obnoxious to its actual customers. “The changing rooms were covered in notes,” Tyler says, “and the old woman behind the counter had a continuous look of disdain on her face. It took us a while to realize that was just the way she rested her face.”

Rather than, say, passing judgment on the sizes of their potentially TOO LARGE waists.

STOP. Check the tag. Is it too small? Then don't try it on and please us all!

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

What does “fashion forward” mean to you?

Tags: "customer service" · attire · blitzkrieg approach · Italy · Madison · tourists

I am embarrassed for you!

June 22nd, 2010 · 62 Comments

If the writer of this public service announcement had Angela‘s gall, she would have printed up flyers and handed them out to offenders in person. Instead, she (and yes, I’m making the outrageous assumption here that it’s a she) just posted it in the elevator of her Columbia University dorm…without spell-checking her work first. People, seriously?

Unless, of course, this was all part of a larger prank pairing the phone number of some unsuspecting victim with this oh-so-compelling pitch (“learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES”) and placing it within easy firing range of drunk college students. Then, well…then you’d be an even bigger arsehole.

People, Seriously! You Dress Like SLOBS I am embarrassed For You! [Phone number redacted] (when calling, always begin with reading the sign) Questions on how to dress better and to learn how this will improve your LIFE + GRADES

related: A little advice for the ladies

Tags: attire · bad sales pitch · college life · New York · spelling and grammar police · Too good to be real? · unsolicited feedback

What does “fashion forward” mean to you?

April 29th, 2010 · 95 Comments

When you work in the fashion business — like our submitter, a sales associate at a trendy boutique — being “fashion forward” often translates to just “forward.”

What does Fashion Forward mean to you? I challenge you to ask yourself......Is the outfit your wearing acceptable for hanging out or grocery shopping? If your answer to this is YES this means YOUR UNDERDRESSED! Please remember that this is our business, we are in the fashion business! We are not afraid to be forward in fashion. WE are fashion forward.

Or (like Lisa‘s coworker), straight-up bitchy.

Please — never wear that outfit in my presence or I will explode.

Sometimes (as Rhonda in Boston noticed) working in fashion is somewhat akin to being, say, a life coach.

Please do not have a fit in the fitting room. Your fashion life begins here.

Or, just as likely…a drug counselor.

Hello, We know you are doing coke in the bathroom. Please stop, Jesus loves you. Shamon

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

Tags: "customer service" · attire · drugs · retail hell · your/you're

A little advice for the ladies

February 12th, 2009 · 101 Comments

…courtesy of the hapless young lads of North America.

As documented by Kimberlee in Lawrence, Kansas:

a little advice for the ladies

And by Grant in Toronto, Canada:

yeah, women! seriously!

Happy breakup season, everyone!

related: Some dating advice

Tags: "helpful" advice · attire · battle of the sexes · Canada · Kansas · kinda creepy · Toronto

Mean boys

January 22nd, 2009 · 159 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Brooklyn received this e-mail from his 28-year-old male roommate after purchasing a similar (not identical) blue toggle pea coat. “We are rarely out of the apartment together,” our submitter notes. Hmm, wonder why?

Hey, so i wanna get something off my chest. I know it's a little silly, but it really bugs me that you bought the same coat as I did. for some reason it's really gotten under my skin and it's probably made me a bit of a jerk over the past few days. you mentioned that it's the same as those shoes - but i don't really see it that way. i asked you before i bought those shoes. first. and second, they were work shoes. there was very little chance of us wearing them at the same time. i'll take back the coat, which, to be honest, sort of upsets me, but i guess i'll have to get over it. so, anyway, i guess i just wanted to say that...before i got any meaner.

related: Gossip Boy

Tags: attire · Brooklyn · e-mail · frenemies · martyr complex · roommates

Are you there, Margaret? God, could you be any more disgusting?

September 20th, 2007 · 335 Comments

Mona in Los Angeles brings us this pair of notes from her high-rise Century City office building.  Says Mona, “Apparently my co-worker saw the panties at issue. My question is…who leaves their panties in the bathroom at work?  Who does that?”

My question: Why are we letting Paris and Britney off the hook? If they actually remember to wear them, shouldn’t we encourage keeping them on?

some sound advice

And then there’s this one, which brings up the old mad bomber-era debate about which gender leaves the bathrooms in worse shape.

are you there, margaret? god, clean up after yourself already!


Tags: "helpful" advice · attire · bathroom · bodily fluids · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · danger · excessive underlining · group bitchfest · hygiene · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2007 · office · that's disgusting

Don’t be stupid (thanks)

June 24th, 2007 · 47 Comments

Dan in Miami Beach — who by the way knows a thing or two about roommate drama — bring us this sign from a clothing store in the gay mecca of Wilton Manors, Florida. Says Dan: “Sometimes, gay men are a little bitchy with each other.” (Again, something he knows a bit about.)

Don't be stupid you can not try on the underwear! Thank you BALL

(And seriously, sweetheart, don’t even start with the whole “but that’s not exactly passive-aggressive” stuff.)

related: Ladies, if you happen to have forgotten your undies…

Tags: attire · Florida · hygiene · more aggressive than passive · pleasantries as afterthought · retail hell · spelling and grammar police

The souls of our shoes

June 5th, 2007 · 26 Comments

This important safety message is brought to you from an anonymous worker at a call center in Toronto.

Tags: attire · danger · e-mail · kitchen · office · spelling and grammar police · Toronto