PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » Australia

Your punishment for forgetting your reusable grocery bags

Kerry — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 03:29:23 +0000

Writes Kiki in Melbourne: “Have you ever seen a sack act so bitchy and sanctimonious all at once? I can’t believe a plastic bag’s attitude actually started to piss me off!”

Well, Kiki, it could be worse.

related: …and F the Polar Bear!
extra credit: I (don’t) use plastic bags.

Am I crazy? (Check yes or no)

Kerry — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 02:16:50 +0000

Despite what her neighbor would have you believe, Mim in Adelaide, Australia says she doesn’t actually just toss her trash into the street. In this case, she simply put out hard rubbish our for collection a few days earlier than suited the residents of 59 Windsor.

Mim says this note is just the latest installment in an ongoing litany of complaints, which “always come with the multi-coloured swirly script and hearts. They crack me up every time!”

related: Stay classy, Little Rock

How’s that for compromise?

Kerry — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 01:33:14 +0000

Bernie in Sydney recently discovered this hidden behind a painting in his parents’ house — “the passive-aggressive conclusion to a long-running argument about demolishing the kitchen wall.”

Explains Bernie: “Mum wants the wall demolished to make the kitchen nicer; Dad insists it’s impossible and unnecessary. I honestly don’t know how my parents have managed to last 25 years together.”

related: Give the gift of honesty

You’re a good student, but not my best speller

Kerry — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:19:01 +0000

Writes Mrs. McMahon in Melbourne, Australia: “One of the students in my class decided to make a a big card for World Teachers Day and have it signed by all her peers in our grade. When I read this message, I could not stop laughing.”

More proof that Facebook is turning us all into narcissists

Kerry — Sun, 23 Oct 2011 21:23:52 +0000

Writes our submitter: “Last year Zaky changed the date of his birthday on Facebook just to test if anyone actually knew his real birthday. Nobody did, probably because he pulls crappy mind games like this. He did it again this year and it still didn’t work.”

I think Melissa (below) probably said it best: “Whatever, Zaky, as if anyone actually cares when your birthday is?”

It’s my spot and I’ll park what I want to

Kerry — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 22:55:15 +0000

Kate in Melbourne caught a glimpse of this note from the street, and it looked so ridiculous that she snuck into the private lot to get a closer look. Adds Kate: “I imagine this person is quite popular with the neighbours.”

(By the way, Kate apologizes for the poor resolution of the photos; she only had her mobile phone with her at the time.)

extra credit: This kid parallel parks better than I do [youtube]

Death by a Thousand Puns

Kerry — Tue, 28 Jun 2011 02:41:51 +0000

Relentless exposure to awful puns hasn’t yet been explicitly singled out as a form of torture, but employees at this office in Australia might be able to make the case that it qualifies as “extreme mental distress.”

Apparently the strategy here was that for every day the kitchen’s cutlery situation went unresolved, up went another note — with progressively groan-worthy puns each time. (It took until “Spatchalator” for someone to cry uncle.)

A spoonful of sugar might help this lesson in Newtonian physics go down

Kerry — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 02:57:00 +0000

This physics lesson was posted in the communal kitchen of Oxford University’s department of psychiatry.

“You would think that these people would be masters of communication,” our submitter says. “Evidently, not so much.”

In Australia, meanwhile, it seems they prefer not to beat around the bush* — at least when it comes to wet spoons.

*bad pun intended

Meow, purr, RAWRRR!

Kerry — Wed, 01 Jun 2011 03:14:48 +0000

Our submitter at a university in Canberra spotted this first note while getting his morning coffee. “Pat (a professor in the department) has been complaining for weeks that her coffee mug seems to disappear and reappear spontaneously. Her mood varies with its presence.”

Several days later, our submitter spotted this addendum, written by another professor sympathetic to Pat’s cause. “Since the mug hasn’t turned up in over a week, I’m pretty sure the culprit is too afraid to return the mug at this point.” (Could you blame him?)

related: Not to name names, but…

So this is your NON-vulgar side? Shut the front door!

Kerry — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 13:00:17 +0000

Sorry, I meant back door. I’m gonna slowly back away now, ma’am…

related: Dear lovely ladies

The Huffing & Puffing Post

Kerry — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 13:02:59 +0000

When he first moved in, says our submitter in Melbourne, the apartment across the way already had the two big handmade nuclear posts in the window. Two months later, up went the note at the left about unneighborly acts like obscene “jestures” (which makes me envision of motley crew of courtyard jugglers giving the finger to nosy busybodies in the apartments above.) The cigarette notice is the latest addition.

Says our submitter: “I’m tempted to strut about without trousers and see if I can get a mention, too!”

In the meantime, his other neighbors seem to already be getting in on the act.

(As always, just click on the images to enlarge them.)

related: WiFi for Passive-Aggressives

A nasty twist on “Man Bites Dog”

Kerry — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 13:00:55 +0000

Dan in Melbourne says he saw this sign while riding along a North Fitzroy bike path, which runs parallel to a park. Says Dan: “Now, I’ve owned a dog and I know how they like to roll in stinky things, but this it taking it to a new, super gross level.”

More gross than your dog rolling in/eating some other dog’s shit? Or stepping in a fresh pile of it yourself? I’m not sure I’m convinced. (Not that humans should be exempt from proper poop-scooping etiquette, of course.)

Personally, I’d like to imagine this as a triumphant act of payback on the part of a score-settling colon cancer survivor. (“This is for all the times I’ve stepped in your dogs’ crap. Enjoy!!”)

related: Do you want a doggy bag?

What your Facebook “friends” are all secretly thinking about your whiny status updates

Kerry — Sat, 18 Dec 2010 19:29:52 +0000

…it just takes a true frenemy to actually say it.

People suck. (A valuable lesson for any 4-year-old)

Kerry — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 03:46:15 +0000

Cait spotted this artful example of parental passive-aggression “in front of a very, very wealthy residence” in New York’s East Village. “I get that ripping up the flowers was a douchey move,” Cait says, “but this seems a little over the top.”

To which I’d add: Um, yes. (They had me at the first semicolon.)

Meanwhile, across the globe, another 4-year-old was given a similar learning experience. In Australia, however, they don’t bother beating around the bush.*

*Apologies. Bad pun intended.