Entries Tagged as 'Sydney'

What your Facebook “friends” are all secretly thinking about your whiny status updates

December 18th, 2010 · 91 Comments

…it just takes a true frenemy to actually say it.

Man... You're *always* whining about how busy you are... Seriously, it's like *every* status update I see with your name on it is like *ehhh [redacted] is so busy blahaaeeehh* or something...We're all fucking busy man.

related: Busy, but not too busy for the important things in life…like Farmville.

Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook · frenemies · most popular notes of 2010 · Sydney

Worst. Metaphor. Ever.

November 29th, 2009 · 96 Comments

Based on the evidence below, I’d say one of John’s male coworkers in Sydney, Australia has taken “holiday spirit” too far. Way, way, too far.

Gifts left in the toilet bowl are no fun for anyone.

related: Sprinkles are for cupcakes

Tags: bathroom · Christmas · clip art catastrophe · holiday spirit · Sydney · toilet

Merry Christmas, you junkie scumbag lowlife

December 26th, 2008 · 68 Comments

Libby from Sydney, Australia found this note taped to the wall of the IGA supermarket in Newtown, Sydney. “Feeling sympathetic though somewhat amused, I took a photo of it — I didn’t really think it would be fair to take it with me.” (That is, of course, more than can be said for a certain junkie scumbag lowlife.)

If it was you that stole the wheel off my bicycle when it was locked here, about 11, on Christmas fucking eve, rest assured that I look forward to hunting you down and separating your head from your body, you junkie scumbug lowlife

related: an inconvenient truth

Tags: Australia · bicycle · Christmas · die bitch die · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · Sydney

Franger al fresco

July 26th, 2008 · 118 Comments

Geetha in Sydney says this note appeared in the shared dining room the day after the city’s gay Mardi Gras. The best part? “A few people admitted the condom might be theirs, but nobody would take credit for the note.”

To the owner of this condom, the backyard is no place for the use of such things. Please use rooms provided. :)

related: Dearest roommate

Tags: roommates · sex sex sex · smiley · Sydney · visual aids

Not to name names, but…

March 18th, 2008 · 84 Comments

World-renowned troublemaker Troy McClure forwards this e-mail from his department’s secretary in Sydney, Australia.

Would anyone know who has taken/borrowed most of the coffee mugs and tea cups from the kitchen on our level?

No big deal, you say? Take a second look at the addressee list. (Yes, JONATHAN, I’m talking to you.)

related: Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · dishes · message to all intended for one · overzealous secretary · Sydney

This is not positive communication

February 6th, 2008 · 78 Comments

This series comes to us from an anonymous office worker in Sydney, Australia, who explains: “Despite our multi-million dollar profits, some people in our office are really attached to our company’s bottom line.”

DID YOU REALLY NEED TO PRINT THIS IN COLOUR??

UPDATE: the saga continues!

GET BACK TO WORK. WRITING POST-ITS FOR THIS WALL IS A WASTE OF COMPANY TIME. SHAME ON YOU ALL.

related: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler

Tags: money · office supplies · saga · Sydney

Happy New Year!

December 31st, 2007 · 47 Comments

merry christmas from sydney

(And much love to our submitter Robin in Sydney!)

Tags: drizzunk · holiday spirit · spelling and grammar police · Sydney

Passive-allergic

November 4th, 2007 · 341 Comments

“Okay, so I’m not sure if I’m in the wrong on this one,” says Melanie from Sydney. “I have a long-haired cat who sheds a lot, so I just used to pick up the bits of fur and throw them out the window.” (Um, right, of course.) Melanie continues: “I’m on the third floor and look out over the street, so I didn’t think it would upset anyone. but then I found this clump of cat hair in my mailbox.”

the cat hair in question

Melanie adds: “I live in a block of 40+ units and my cat is an indoor cat, so a) no one really knows I have him, and b) it must have pretty hard to track done the owner of the multi-shedding, window-fur-tossing cat. That one clump of fur — which they would have had to have collected over a period of at least two weeks — says more than words ever could.”

related: The cats must go!

Tags: actions speak louder · Australia · cats · neighbors · questionable logic · Sydney

Down and dirty down under (dear)

October 12th, 2007 · 146 Comments

When our saga begins, our anonymous submitter’s girlfriend was living in a tiny apartment in Sydney, Australia. Due to space constraints, she was temporarily sleeping on what our submitter admits was “possibly one of the world’s shittiest sofabeds.”

GLAD U HAVE GREAT SEX LIFE but we think it's time to replace yr old bed dear, sound awful

WE DONT CARE WHEN U have SEX but the sound of YR old bed very DISTURBING !!!

But while the mailbox notes were presumably written first (based on the tone) they weren’t actually discovered until after a third note was slipped under the apartment door…

YOUR OLD SPRING BED VERY NOISY WHEN YOU GUYS HAVING SEX!!!

Mortified, our loving couple did, in fact, move their mattress to the floor. But that didn’t seem to placate their dear nameless neighb, who pinned this note to the the building’s common noticeboard…

If you sleep often get Disturb especially like last night between 1-3 am caused by sex marathon

“Ironically,” our submitter says, “it was found when we were moving out the horrible couch.”

related: visual aids always help

Tags: "helpful" advice · Australia · awk abbrev · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2007 · neighbors · noise · saga · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · Sydney