Jesse in Iowa says that the unisex bathroom at a local bar/coffee shop has long played host to a running debate about the need to raise or lower the toilet seat. Recently, another Sharpie-wielding sheriff stepped in with this contribution. My question: Was the writer a child, or a truck driver?

Meanwhile, Tom spotted this offensive leap of logic at a bar in Waco, Texas.

Of course, as Heather in Kentucky noticed, women can be just as offensive and illogical when it comes to their bathroom-stall musings.

For the really crude stuff, though, you’ve got to turn to a Canadian.

related: An artistic phallacy

extra credit: Public Toilet Survival Kit

Writes our submitter, Iris: “East London’s Brick Lane is the city’s hipster epicenter. A nearby pub had clearly had enough of being flooded by ironic facial hair and cardigans.”

related: Unattended children will be shot.

extra credit: It’s Movember! 

Fun fact: according to a Pew Research report, 30% of young adults have pretended to be using their phone in order to avoid interacting with the people around them.

If you’re one of them, here’s a head’s up: Your awkward penguin moves aren’t gonna help you at Gestalt Haus in San Francisco.

Adds our submitter, Carly: “Even though I bought plenty of beer while I was there, I still felt like I needed to make eye contact with the bartender when coming out of the pisser. And that gets a little awkward after a while.”

related: Drip-dry only, ladies

I kinda love the snottiness of this bar’s dress code, mostly because of how perfectly it allows me to envision the nightlife scene in Tampa, Florida, where Kim spotted this notice. (Essentially, a whole lotta Jon Gosselin-type-wannabes?)

Meanwhile, Holly’s friend Jess snapped this picture of the new dress code at a college-town bar in Ohio. “I’m guessing the boss is not a fan of the frat kids,” says Holly.

related: Why I hate Miami, exhibit a

Well, ladies, you might want to bring your own TP. (Or carpet, as the case may be.) Erin from Baton Rouge says the bathroom/plumbing situation in New Orleans during Mardi Gras is the worst. At least at this bar they give you fair warning, eh?

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Our submitter, a bartender in D.C., might not be the world’s biggest Mariah Carey fan, but when a group of customers put “All I Want for Christmas is You,” on the jukebox last Saturday night, he didn’t complain. But when the same group queued the song up again — three times in a row — he invoked his bartender’s privilege and skipped it. After all, he says, “It was DECEMBER 4th. I gave them their money back, but they still kept calling me ‘Grinch.’”

I have to step in here and note that, yes, that song is like crack — once you’re hooked, one hit is never enough. But that’s when you go home and spend the 99 cents to download it so you can indulge your addiction on endless repeat without coughing up a quarter every time. However, money management not being the forte of most addicts, at the end of the night the holiday-happy patrons left behind this oh-so-classy note in lieu of a tip.

That very same weekend, meanwhile, Amy noticed that the bartender at one of her local haunts in Murrysville, Pennsylvania has taken a proactive approach to this particular problem. “Normally a super friendly place, I was sooo tempted to play ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ just to see what they would do.” (Instead, she held on to that feeling — privately — and took a picture.)

related: “You Can Call Me Arse”: A review of last night’s performance

extra credit: Jukebox Etiquette 101

Why this sign isn’t pictured in the   Tourist guide to Shelter Island, I have no idea.

(Thanks to Laurie’s Aunt Sylvia for snapping the picture!)

related: How’s that for a low price guarantee?

At Nat’s office in York, England, one of his coworkers has been trying to bully everyone into coughing up some cash for an (admittedly worthy) charitable cause.

In Nat’s opinion, however, her guilt-heavy fund-raising techniques might benefit from a little fine-tuning…especially given that all seven of those special “charity pens” were nicked from the office supply closet.

related: Starve on!

…the proprietors of this Toronto bar will leave you pondering some different questions instead.

Meanwhile, as Will observed, a Shell station in Austin apparently abides by a similar “honesty is the best” policy.

…as does a shopping center in Tyler, Texas, where Erin spotted this explanation (on a 100-degree July day).

Similar venting was on display at a store in Ironton, Ohio. (“For the record, I cannot validate whether or not the ‘oner’ was an in fact an asshole,” says submitter Meagan.)

And smetimes, of course, brutal honesty isn’t enough.

So really, why bother with an explanation at all?

related: Closed for good! Remember that the cheese loved you more than you loved it.