1. spotted by trevor in richmond, virginia

2. from karen in chicago

3. spotted by eli in kauai

4. from miller peterson in japan

and lastly, a beloved classic from the world-class run barbara (and of course, thx sandra)

related: with a chainsaw?

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“replace the roll“? fair enough. any special requests after that, though, i’m not so sure about. as our submitter in lexington, kentucky writes: “does that extra .34-second step really cause your day to go so horribly?”

on the flipside…don’t flush ‘em, i understand. but…really, ladies? as our submitter in orlando put it: “i don’t know what scares [...]

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this restroom sign from baton rouge, louisiana manages to combine variations on two of the genre’s most irritating cliches — the rhyme that must be flushed and the clip art that must be stopped…with some additional ridiculous floral clip art thrown in for good measure.

and yet, somehow, this note manages to offend me even more. [...]

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who knew? apparently, every office has at least one person with an insatiable need to spread the contents of their nose on the wall.
from florida:

from georgia:

from a hospital (!) in washington, d.c.

and another hospital in pennsylvania:

from utah:

from montana:

from california:

from minnesota:

from texas:

from ohio:

and even in denmark:
[submitter katrine's rough translation: won't you be kind and wipe your boogers [...]

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i didn’t think office sign illustration could get more gratuitous than this guy, but then corinna in seattle came through with this.

(add a few hand-drawn penises and you’ve got yourself a perez hilton special!)
related: maybe next time you should try power point?

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writes stephanie in lubbock, texas: “one day at work, there were four or five of these bulletins posted above all bathroom trashcans, with an additional flyer posted in the ‘memos’ section on the bulletin board. there’s such rage in her bulletin, it’s like she personally found crap resting on a pile of paper towels.”

meanwhile, our [...]

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our anonymous university student in cambridge, england found this note pinned to the door of his shared college house. “the guy who wrote it moved here from america about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. he seems to be a nice guy, but has [...]

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writes chris in riverside, california: “my friend eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening.  he [...]

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this is why the “seething and waiting” strategy will never get through to a messy roommate. (they are oblivious to your blind rage!)
to wit: laura lives in a four-person suite at boston college, where she says one of her suitemates, christin, is “a notorious neat freak.” what that meant was that christin and her roommate, [...]

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writes our anonymous submitter in hartford, connecticut: “we’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
i appreciate the initial sentiment here — i really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that [...]

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“in the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in berkeley, california. everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” then a female coworker responded with the note below.

and then, well, the lines were [...]

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you could start with a basic visual aid…

or perhaps appeal to their sense of patriotism…

…or go with a not-so-veiled threat.

of course, you could just let your ass do the talking.

but remember to cite your sources.

(thanks to ryan in west palm beach, heather in delaware, julie in marysville, brian in british columbia and bluepaintred in canada [...]

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if you share a bathroom facility with either  a) evil robots or b) electronic music enthusiasts, then this sign — from an office in paris — might work.

(but prepare for the inevitable: “one more time?”)
related: over and over – the warning (passive-aggressive remix)
extra credit: daft hands [youtube]

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after 55 years, the north shore music theatre in beverly, mass. is closing its doors, terrance writes, “and i wanted to preserve the rich history of notes and art that have accumulated over the years.” first up: this artistic series from the intern lounge. (sidenote: intern lounge?!)

related: i’ll tell you what’s classy, though

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this first note was posted in the bathroom of the gay pride center in new brunswick, new jersey; the second, in the bathroom of the rhode island department of health in providence.
i’d probably recommend steering clear of the kitchen sinks at both facilities.

related: a filthy hap pit

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because it’s monday and you’re so thrilled to be back at work, i though it was as appropriate a time as any to bring you these little gems from the columbia, kentucky and melbourne, australia campuses, respectively, of the university of what the fuck.

(and commenters, please note the enormous exercise of restraint demonstrated by the [...]

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spotted at a local restaurant by kevin in boston…

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once upon a time, our anonymous submitter informs us, a plucky young fellow who goes by the name “fluffy fox” found his way onto the walls of this underutilized florida dorm shower. as an avid personal hygiene enthusiast, fluffy has always been all too willing to provide grime-infested student bodies with his full rundown of [...]

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apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here!)
so, um, yeah…i’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. i’ll leave [...]

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how’d you like to be flatmates with dianne in london? cos i’m thinking there just might be an opening soon…

related: clarifying motion #2

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