PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » bathroom

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Kerry — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 01:17:04 +0000

Shaun in Austin spotted this mysterious complaint in the men’s room at his office. (Apparently all of the males employed there are very, very sensitive.)

Karma Police

Kerry — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:16:27 +0000

This is what you get when you mess with us:

In other words: You’re a creep. You’re a weirdo. What the hell are you doing here? You don’t belong here!

(Thanks to Bonnie from North Carolina, Eric in California, and Paperback Writer in Pittsburgh for their submissions!)

related: Karma’s a bitch.

Short on New Year’s resolutions? The janitor has a few suggestions for you.

Kerry — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 19:29:16 +0000

From the ladies’ room…

And the men’s room…

And the men’s room, one day later…

related: And a Happy New Year to you!

Do I detect a note of hostility in your hospitality?

Kerry — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 01:54:08 +0000

As someone with a small bladder, Becky of Apostrophe Catastrophes says she’s peed in many a hotel lobby bathroom, but this was the first time she’s encountered a passive-aggressive note in the process.

“Ironically,” she says, on this occasion, “I actually was staying in one of the rooms they hint at in the note.”

Your Ultra Charmin Neighbor

Kerry — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 20:44:04 +0000

Writes our submitter in Philadelphia: “In our apartment building, packages are left by the block of mailboxes, relatively near where your individual mailbox is. I’ve never had a problem, but apparently not everyone was so lucky…this sign was on every floor of the building.”

related: I hope your cat chokes.

Hover & Flow(chart)

Kerry — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 06:58:34 +0000

Writes Erica in New York: “I don’t think this woman is aware that the aggressive automatic flush makes water splash all over the toilet seats…but she’s obviously very angry.”

related: Coffee pot flowchart

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Kerry — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:58:10 +0000

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

…and the first response:

Your move, “Scott.”

Stay classy, Fairbanks

Kerry — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 01:22:34 +0000

I’ll admit it: When reading the backstory to this note, I definitely raised an eyebrow at Mary’s assertion that this restaurant in Fairbanks, Alaska — Bobby’s Downtown — is best known for its “lavishly posh restrooms.” Then I took a look at the online reviews.

Now, as fascinated as I am by this whole “princess of the bathrooms” concept, I should probably get back to Mary — who, on her most recent visit to Bobby’s famous facilities, spotted a delightful new addition to the decor:

Boy, that is one issue of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner I cannot wait to see.

Another air freshener fracas

Kerry — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 23:32:27 +0000

“My supervisor posted this notice in the ladies’ restroom in the lobby of our office,” says our submitter in Louisiana, “but it was directed solely at me.” (One of the more vocal anti-air freshener employees on staff, our submitter’s desk happens to be located immediately outside the restroom.)

Despite the fact that, as our submitter put it, “that Summer Breeze crap smells like a giant migraine,” her boss declared that “Lemon Peel is a ‘masculine scent’ more suited for the men’s room.” Adds our submitter: “I still haven’t figured out the identities of all these people who are lamenting the absence of the Summer Breeze.”

extra credit: “How ‘fresh’ is air freshener?” [Time.com]

The old “wipe & walk” trick

Kerry — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 03:04:26 +0000

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

Couplets for the Commode

Kerry — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 12:00:55 +0000

You might think that the writer of nearly a dozen couplets on toilet etiquette would include at least one variation on the sprinkle/tinkle theme, but apparently the poet at work in this Nassau County government building doesn’t go for in that sort of cliché.

But wouldn’t you know it? As Nicole from New York City reports, “The toilet seat in question was covered in ‘sprinkle‘ and absolutely disgusting.”

related: Toilet Paper Poetry Slam

Now, if we could all just take our own advice…

Kerry — Sat, 27 Aug 2011 17:31:34 +0000

Really, some people are just better off living alone.

Presented in order of appearance:

The wrong kind of sticky pad

Kerry — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 23:23:12 +0000

I get that you’re trying to make a point here, lady…but…really?

(And if you just had to go go there, you could have least written, “Always put the toilet back down.” Just sayin’.)

(Not that we’re bitter or anything.)

Kerry — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:41:03 +0000

Our submitter spotted this cheery notice during the “Going out Business” sale at a Blockbuster Video in Colorado. (Bankruptcy will do that you, I guess.)

extra credit: Blockbuster goes bankrupt, Netflix shares soar

extra extra credit: “Borders: No Restrooms. Try Amazon.“